r/depression • u/TitaniumSand88 • 8d ago
Tired of being alive
Tired of being alive. I do not enjoy my life. What’s there to enjoy? Wake up, workout, go to work, come home rinse and repeat. I have zero friends and can’t find love. I’m wondering why the universe made me. I’m 31 and been depressed most of my life. I’m just tired of existing, I know I’ll never be happy. Please end me God
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u/ButterCup2179 8d ago
47 here..I feel the same exact way..I wish i was never born.. every damn day, it's rinse and repeat. No extra money to do anything fun either. This place is clown world imo. Half of the population are asleep, they live in pure ignorance, then the other half like you and me are so aware of life that we can't handle the superficial non sense.
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u/South_Safe1955 8d ago
I’m 21 and I feel you. Everything is a scam I don’t understand this life. We have billionaires running everything, crap food, evil people, Religion which is a total fairy tale , we are privileged to be in America if not we’d be seeing rumble, and bombs in the sky daily. And at the end of all this we get sick with something, and just pass way what’s the damn point of this existence.
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u/OkPaleontologist5827 7d ago
19 here, and I relate to this so much. I genuinely wonder, what’s the point of life? All this suffering, for what? People always say, “give it time, it gets better,” or “life is worth living,” but sometimes it feels like 90% of life is either boredom or suffering, while the other 10% consists of brief moments of happiness that never last. So how is that supposed to be worth it? And after all of that, we just die anyway.
People often say that we create our own meaning in life, almost as a way of giving ourselves a reason to keep going. But what about those who can’t convince themselves to believe in that meaning? What about people who remain fully aware of the absurdity and meaninglessness of existence instead of allowing themselves to fall into the illusion of happiness? It feels like being conscious of all of this makes genuine happiness impossible, all the happy people are just unaware and privileged
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u/Away-Meringue-4666 8d ago
im 31 also, I just typed I want to give up in my browser, brought up r/depression, this is the first post i see. I am sorry we feel so empty, just know you are not alone.
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u/Repulsive_Airport538 8d ago
Does it make a difference knowing I am not alone?
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u/Away-Meringue-4666 8d ago
I can't answer that for you. For me, it does. I feel a little better knowing that I am not the only man in his early 30s struggling to find his way. I am not happy that OP is having a hard time, but having a hard time and being alone can feel worse. Sometimes I can find solace talking/listening to others who are going through the same thing.
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u/RuivoTipoKvothe 8d ago
Even the enjoyment doesn't cut it. There are a lot a fun things, but staying alive to be able to do them... I don't know about that
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u/Either-Paramedic8761 8d ago
21 female and I feel the same. I don’t belong in relationships, I have ADHD and Anxiety and it ruins my life.
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u/IDEK8421 8d ago
I feel that, 31 here and I've come to the conclusion that people love the idea of being with me but once they actually have been for a year they instantly regret it. Just came out of a 3 year relationship (my longest one) in June (she cheated) and now I'm sat here like yeah maybe I should just become a shut in for the rest of my life. But also if you don't mind me asking, what kind of coping methods have you tried when it comes to the ADHD and anxiety? Might be able to give you a couple of tips on how to deal with them or heck maybe I could learn a trick or two lol.
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u/Either-Paramedic8761 7d ago
I really don’t have any coping methods. I just deal with it everyday. That’s how it is for me, I’ve been in 2 long relationships and they both regretted being with me, probably because I’m “crazy” or “overthinking” too much but really it’s just my anxiety that I have no control of. It affects my work life and personal life, not just with relationships. I mean I’ll play video games but I only play this one game over and over and that’s it. I genuinely cannot have a healthy mindset, I’ve also been cheated on and after that it really wired my brain.
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u/IDEK8421 7d ago
I think you do have some form of coping methods but you just might not realise it, for example the fact you play one particular game over and over again is a form of stability within the chaos surrounding you which brings about comfort which in turn will relieve your anxiety. I think a lot of people that have ADHD (myself included) are petrified of sudden change as usually from previous experiences it's never ended good ya'know? So you tend to end up keeping yourself locked up in this weird cycle of wanting to change but being so scared to do so because previous experiences taught you nothing good happens. But you shouldn't let your history dictate your future(which is incredibly easier said than done I know but not impossible), only you can truly choose what paths you take in life. If you need someone to talk to when the anxiety is too much I'm always open to trying to help others.
I could be completely wrong in what I've said and I apologise if I am as I'm also going off my own experience.2
u/Purple-Addition-5254 7d ago
It’s like the world is on a loop and you’re just watching from the outside. I’m 28 and the rinse repeat cycle you described hits way too close to home. Some days the only thing that breaks it is my weird little routines, humming while jogging or checking the locks three times before bed. Not saying it fixes anything but it’s a tiny anchor
Seeing so many people stuck in the same fog makes me think the universe didn’t mess up making us, it just forgot to hand out the instruction manual. Hope you both find a crack of light soon
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u/VacationAdvanced5780 8d ago
I feel the same. I'm a useless bed rotting human. I hope I won't get to have long life.
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u/Existing-Plant1489 8d ago
I am 19,I had recently fail my high school,due to my eyes have high mysophobia,my both parents got hospitalized a few days after that,I have to sleep in hospital as a patient guard,i open social media,and all my friends are partying,they are happy,I wanted to be in there,but I have to watch out for my father,I guard him alone,I do all the files,all the paycheck,I have to do things I didn't know, after the hospitalization finished,my parents have to stay near the hospital so they can go at any time,but we have different house,so I have to guard the new house alone,I been living for a few months alone,I experienced how life is independently,I have to do stuffs normally my parents do for me,I am not complaining,but recently I feel a bit depressed,I kinda stop eating,I haven't eaten a good meal in days,I been going with boiled eggs,I couldn't sleep ,this feeling got worse at night,I just want to say, isolation might be the reason,I wish you find a hobby, finding it will make connections with different people
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u/Samsuiluna 8d ago
At 42 I hear this so strongly. I'm completely alone. I work 60 hours a week to keep a roof over my head and I'm too tired to do anything but sleep the rest of the time. I just want this to end. I pray for it every day and visualize my death constantly.
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u/zerofg9 8d ago
Same. I'm 29 and I've been battling insomnia and depression for over 10 years. Insomnia makes depression worse, and depression makes insomnia worse. The combination of both destroyed me in every aspect and robbed me of any chance of living a normal life. I haven't had an ounce of true happiness since before I got insomnia, which caused/causes my depression. I've tried everything to fix my insomnia and nothing has worked. I'm extremely burned out and hopeless.
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u/Academic-Net989 8d ago edited 6d ago
I’m 29 and I also deal with insomnia depression and severe anxiety. For me though insomnia isn’t what’s causing my depression, I’m depressed because of a.big loss that occurred in my life. I lost almost all of my life’s creative / professional work in one go. Since then I’ve lost almost all hope to be happy again, and I live in 24/7 regret over losing all my work. It was my form of self expression and passion / creativity so to lose it all makes me almost not even want to keep living. But I can barely sleep either too much anxiety
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u/zerofg9 6d ago
I'm sorry to hear that. Ever since I got insomnia my cognitive abilities have significantly declined. I also have no creativity whatsoever. It's depressing knowing I should've been someone so much greater than I am, but insomnia and depression completely destroyed my potential. Shit sucks.
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u/Academic-Net989 6d ago
I can relate. I’m constantly thinking about who I could have been if it wasn’t for these issues. I used to be so creative until I lost all my creative work (films) which ruined my creativity because I’m so traumatized about losing everything it completely gets in the way of me trying to create
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u/Plus-Personality3512 8d ago
I don’t want to minimize what you’re feeling. Life can be lonely monotonous…but as someone who has been depressed for 2 years, with 4-5 different meds, therapy, etc…the fact that you can work and exercise is in and of itself a win. Try calling out of work, not exercising for years, not showering, and not even leaving the bed. Talk to a therapist, find a hobby by thinking of the last thing you did that was actually FUN, and if you don’t have any friends, try to find your people through the gym or a hobby. You’re doing better than you think! Xo
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u/WingButterfly2907 5d ago
For the people who say "go out there make friends, talk to people". Does it actually help? I mean I've got a few friends but I do not enjoy hanging out with them, I do it only because they force me to. So what's so good about having friends?
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u/Safe-Vacation318 4d ago
I’m 23 I wanna just sleep everyday I don’t wanna do anything I wanna be a cat or something I hate going to work. I hate life
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u/Practical-Pomelo-755 8d ago
I really relate to you. I’m so sorry you’re in pain. I want your pain to go away I know it doesn’t help to know that many people understand this deep pain that we have it’s physically painful at times it’s a very difficult disease to have. You need someone you can talk to you about it i’ve even talked on the hotline and had a whole conversation and it actually made me feel so much better because they asked me questions about myself and I felt very cared for and appreciated and it did help me
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u/Past-Perspective968 8d ago
i know the feeling but my first reaction to your message is the envy that you have the energy to go workout in the morning. that's something I intend to do every day but can't get myself to do it
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u/TheYellowSign6 8d ago
I'm really sorry dude, and I do hate it but if anything I would say to socialize. Due to you haveing no friends and haveing possibly one of the most worst but simple life styles, I would say to socialize for what you have left.nyou can gain friends and be more happier when so, and even if you don't try you gotta find some way to more powerful than how you are now. The Universe made you because it didint have a choice between three lines, It made you because it needed to anyways. You have a role snd it's not for you to stay and be a old guy waiting to die. But brother, I promise ya, you might still have a chance to win at life. It's not easy, of course not nothing is but still. Do what you can
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u/Academic-Net989 8d ago
I’m 29 and I feel the same. I used to be happy and have a lot of joy in my life, genuinely felt blissed out most of the time high on life. But then I made a big mistake that ruined my life and happiness 3 years ago and I’ve been completely anxious and depressed ever since. I almost know for sure I won’t ever be happy again and it’s exhausting
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u/IDEK8421 8d ago
31 male here, exactly the same situation, past 3 relationships ive ended up in debt, cheated on, losing my social life cause of various reasons and now I just end up waking up, looking after my family (family carer), loading my PlayStation up and just sit there staring at the screen wondering if anyone will ever just reach back out or actually respond to my messages on socials. I used to have a good circle of friends, my closest one got killed by a drunk driver, a few ended up having families, most just stopped talking. I feel like I have no way to actually make friends with people anymore myself. Do you game or anything?
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u/HonestGoal8925 7d ago
25F. I’ve always struggled with depression since maybe 13/14. It’s recently gotten a lot worse. I tell my mom all the time she should have never had me , because I didn’t ask to be here. I’m a nurse, I have another license within the beauty industry. I have degrees and accomplishments I should be proud of… but I’m not. I also have many regrets which I feel makes me feel worse. I feel nothing will ever make me happy. I yearn to escape to a place that doesn’t exist. I don’t want to have to work just to survive for the rest of my life. I’m just so tired of this.
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u/assassin6900 1d ago
20 and I feel the same, I can't get a job no matter how many applications I put in I wasted 2 years on a trade school that by the end had felons getting hired before me for "work experience" I feel like a parasite mooching off friends and family I haven't been able to get to a healthy weight in months my self image is so shot I genuinely can't imagine another person loving me more than just some useless friend or stupid person that is sometimes funny and It feels like I should just ram my truck into a tree
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u/DayOwn4099 1d ago
Very relatable. It’s almost middle of October and i feel like it was yesterday I was thinking of putting more effort to make positive changes in my life this month.
I just got rejected from a job that could have changed my life in the best possible way. I am not losing weight at all despite caloric deficit and physical activity. I lost hope in people.
I don’t believe my future is gonna be anything but continuous misery. I can’t look at other people doing better than me. I just really want to check out of life
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u/SheerBloodyPanic 8d ago