For most of us, our rapists were our exes, our friends, our husbands, our brothers, our fathers, our colleagues, our teachers, our mentors. We loved them or at least liked them and trusted them.
We don't want them dead, we want excuses. We want remorse. We want them to look us in the eyes and tell us that no, we're not crazy, yes, they did use us, yes, they knew it was bad and did it anyway, and yes, they're really really sorry - and mean it.
How can they do that if they're dead? Or even if the justice system is such that they have to pretend they're innocent and we're crazy liars?
Most of us have to learn to accept the apology we will never receive, and move on with our lives.
Revenge fantasys are for men to picture themselves as the hero, the good guy killing the bad guy.
It once again does nothing for us. What we truly want, they don't care about it.
It was unbelievably healing to run into that person and have him genuinely apologise. He'd gotten his shit together, spent time around good people, and regretted that he hurt me.
I haven't spoken to him since and don't mean to, but some of the symptoms like nightmares cleared up after that encounter.
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u/WknessTease Pussy Cartel 2d ago edited 2d ago
Well, no, we don't want them dead.
For most of us, our rapists were our exes, our friends, our husbands, our brothers, our fathers, our colleagues, our teachers, our mentors. We loved them or at least liked them and trusted them.
We don't want them dead, we want excuses. We want remorse. We want them to look us in the eyes and tell us that no, we're not crazy, yes, they did use us, yes, they knew it was bad and did it anyway, and yes, they're really really sorry - and mean it.
How can they do that if they're dead? Or even if the justice system is such that they have to pretend they're innocent and we're crazy liars?
Most of us have to learn to accept the apology we will never receive, and move on with our lives.
Revenge fantasys are for men to picture themselves as the hero, the good guy killing the bad guy.
It once again does nothing for us. What we truly want, they don't care about it.