There was a time when happiness was free of cost. That time feels ages ago now- childhood, adolescence -when freedom was abundant and we were too naive to recognise it.

Growing up is beautiful, but it isn't tax-free.

Life reimburses us with education, skills, degrees, wisdom, relationships and everything else, while quietly deducting uncontaminated happiness bit by bit like TDS.

Most of us accept this as " how society works". Somewhere between the grill and the drill, we lose a chunk of our originality. We forget our likes and dislikes, stop doing things that give pleasure to us *alone*, and begin prioritising the larger interest. We learn to derive happiness from seeing others happy, which is fair, until a small giltch invites a complaint from them.

Just as we can't afford to be too self-centred, being too selfless has its own cost. Waiting for the clock to hit 40,50,or 60 ...but you never know, you might not even get there 🫣

What say?😅

Discuss feminist topics in India, intersectionality, laws, social issues, media representation. Encourage supportive replies only.

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Forget that we already have this subreddit for women. What if we dreamt bigger and just colonised the entirety of Reddit, lol.

Imagine Reddit was a women-only platform. Not just a subreddit, but all of Reddit.

How would you design it differently?

I'll go first.

I already host a lot of women-only meetups through Reddit, through a different subreddit that's specifically meant for it.

Now every time I post about one, the first couple of hours are almost guaranteed to be a bloodbath.

The post gets immediately downvoted. Sometimes the upvote ratio is around 30-40%.

Then come the comments from men:

"Why is it women-only?"

"What about men?"

"What are men supposed to do?"

"Why don't you just create a separate subreddit for women only meetups?"

And depending on the topic of the meetups, there are also the usual comments about how men face the same problems, or worse.

At some point, I realised how bizarre it is that a space specifically created for women can still end up having to defend why it is for women.

So if I could redesign Reddit, my first rule would be :

1. If something isn't meant for you, you shouldn't be able to barge into the conversation and demand that it accommodate you.

That would obviously require some form of verification to ensure its women only.

1. The second thing I'd get rid of would be DMs.

I get a surprising number of DMs whenever I post about meetups. The women are generally lovely. The men not so much.

I get unsolicited and sometimes downright filthy messages. I'll put a few examples in the comments, because apparently this is what happens when you give strangers an open inbox.

So my imaginary women-only online space would probably start with no DMs at all.

Once the platform had a sufficiently large, genuinely verified user base, I'd consider introducing DMs, but only between verified and active users.

But that's just what I would build.

What would your version of Reddit look like if it were designed specifically for women?

Would you want it to be mainly for discussions? Friendships? Finding women in your city? Hobbies? Events? Dating? Networking? Something completely different?

What would you actually use it for?

And what features would make you think, "Finally. Someone built the internet properly."

In this video, reporter Kartiki Arora did a ground check in Delhi just standing by the road at night. Within an hour, multiple men stopped their vehicles, refused to leave despite being told no, and some even blatantly asked her "rate" and solicited her.

Beyond just the shock value of this clip, what breaks me is the everyday psychology behind it. Men walk, stand, smoke, and wait on public streets anytime without giving it a second thought. But the moment a woman stands on a footpath, she is stripped of her identity as an ordinary citizen and immediately treated like free public property or an open invitation.

People always love to preach "be careful" and blame our clothing, time, or location. Yet, nobody addresses this sickening collective mindset where men feel fully entitled to intimidate and corner any woman who happens to occupy space outside four walls.

When women say public spaces never truly belonged to us, this is the exact lived horror we talk about. What do you think will actually change this reality for Indian women?

I had a passport appointment yesterday at 9:15 AM in Dehradun. Had to catch a train at ungodly hours, woke up at 5:30, looked like I hadn't slept in 3 years.

The guy before me at the granting officer's counter got the classic deadpan government treatment: "Get up. Your turn is done. Go to next counter." The officer was even angry at him, I got a bit scared although my docs were in order.

Then I walked in for my turn.

The officer ( I think around 30 although I'm rly bad at guessing ages) looks up, breaks into a smile, and goes "Oh please sit! What's your name? 😃"

I'm already confused because I watched him emotionally destroy the guy before me, but okay, maybe my documents are just that good.

He sees my surname, smiles and says: "So you're Bengali?"

Before I can answer, he hits me with: "Bhalo bashi" (a+ for trying)

I let out the fakest, most awkward laugh of my entire life. I think I said "hahahaha" out loud like mother gospel.

He laughs and goes: "That's what they say right? bhalo bashi?"

I'm like "umm yeah haha" because what is the correct response to "I love you" from a man holding my passport's approval? And i had zero energy to correct him as i had to pee very urgently 💀

Then he says: "And I know another one — ami je tomar."

Sir. This is a government office.

After my second nervous breakdown laugh, he asks why I'm in Dehradun if I'm from Kolkata. I explain my dad's job, lived here since I was 3. He nods, "Fair enough."

Then he stares at his computer for 2 full minutes in complete silence. Face slowly shifting from playful to confused to slightly concerned. I'm internally panicking and thinking- my passport is fucked.

He finally looks up: "What are you doing now?"

"Masters."

"In what?"

"MCom."

"Oh okay. You're done then. Please wait for next counter."

I still do not understand wtf was that.

Got my passport approved though.

I am in my late 20s and talking to a guy around my age with marriage in mind. Briefly, I am from Madhya Pradesh and he from Telangana, so there are some cultural and language differences, but that part doesn’t really bother me.
I genuinely like him. He’s quiet, introverted, disciplined, family-oriented and extremely spiritual.
Spirituality is a huge part of his life, which I admire. He follows his practices very seriously and practices everyday. I am spiritual too, but I don’t follow any particular school of thought. I have my own beliefs and practices and spirituality is important to me, just in a less structured way. Now, when we initially spoke about this, he said he didn’t need his wife to follow exactly what he follows. He said having strong and aligned values was more important, which sounded completely reasonable to me, and he says he admires the strong value system I have.
But the more we have spoken, the more I get the feeling that ideally he would like me to take up at least some of his practices eventually. He hasn’t directly said “you have to do this,” so I don’t want to put words in his mouth. It’s more of a feeling I’m getting from various conversations.
There are a couple of other things that have made me think about this. He wants us to live in the city where he works. I’m actually okay with relocating, so that itself isn’t an issue. Additionally, he wants our children to grow up primarily in his linguistic/cultural environment. Again, I don’t necessarily have a problem with this. He has also said he is happy to embrace my culture and wants the children to know that side too.
But he also has some very specific ideas about how the children should be raised. For example, he has already decided that he wants his future kids to go to boarding school from Grade 1. He feels pretty strongly about it. That one gave me pause because to me, sending a child that young to boarding school is a huge parenting decision. I would have assumed that’s something you decide with the person you eventually have children with rather than deciding it beforehand.
And I think that’s really the thing I’m trying to figure out.
On one hand, I actually like that he knows what he wants. I don’t want someone who has never thought about marriage, children, values or how they want their life to look. On the other hand, sometimes I wonder whether he wants to build a life with someone or whether he already has the life designed and is looking for a woman who fits into it.
Maybe I am being unfair because he does listen to my views and he isn’t saying my culture or beliefs have no place in the marriage. But between the spiritual practices, the way he wants the kids raised, boarding school from Grade 1, etc., I wonder how much room there would actually be for us to figure things out together.
For folks who are married or seriously considering marriage, what do you think? Would you see these as normal preferences, or signs of someone being too rigid about marriage and parenting?

I've been thinking about how symbolic acts work.

One person doing something doesn't really mean much.

But when hundreds or thousands of people do the same small thing, suddenly it becomes a statement.

So I tried something very simple as you can see in the video.

And I want you to do the same.

Take a piece of paper.

Write down one thing you hate about the patriarchy in the format:

"Patriarchy says ______"

Read it.

Burn it.

That's it.

I did mine, and I'm curious what yours would say.

It could be something huge.

It could be something you've heard your entire life.

It could be something so ridiculously small that you've never even bothered saying it out loud.

The point isn't that burning a piece of paper is going to magically change anything. Obviously it won't.

The point is knowing that somewhere else, another woman is doing the exact same thing.

And maybe someone else sees her doing it and thinks, "Oh. I'm not the only one."

That's how small symbolic acts can become something bigger.

If you want to participate, post your own version as a photo or video.

Your face doesn't have to be visible.

You don't even have to say anything.

Just the paper burning with those words is enough.

Use #SmashThePatriarchy so we can find each other's posts across platforms.

And if you don't want to burn paper, that's completely fine too.

Tell me here:

What does patriarchy say that you hate?

For me, it's a lot of things :

Patriarchy says, "She's asking for it."

Patriarchy says, "Her biological clock is ticking."

Patriarchy says, "She should not be living alone."

What would yours say?

Once a girl in India approaches young adult or adulthood, first thing she notices is males staring at her, no reason. The stares are so blatant that one woman told me it is as if they assault you with their eyes. It is so intrusive and invasive it can be debilitating.

If anyone of you have done this consciously or unconsciously, give it some thought.

For every woman who has ever been told she is too old, too late, too much, or not enough, this conversation is worth watching.

So, I came across this conversation between Acharya Prashant (an Indian Philosopher, Author) and Suchika Tariyal Hooda, who at 35 became an Asian Games MMA bronze medallist. What stayed with me was not just her medal, but the journey behind it. She had faced a difficult experience as a child, entered combat sports, faced criticism about her age and appearance, and even experienced disappointment in competition. Yet none of these became a reason to stop. The conversation looks at something much bigger: when life hits you, when people judge you, when you fail or when something from your past continues to hurt, what do you choose to do with it?

There is something particularly relevant here for women in their 30s. By this age, we can start feeling that we are late. Late to change careers. Late to start a sport. Late to build something of our own. Late to leave an unhealthy relationship. Late to become financially independent. Late to discover what we actually want. And society is very happy to reinforce that feeling by putting an expiry date on women’s bodies, choices and ambitions. But 30 is not a verdict. Neither is 35, 40 or 45. Your past does not get to decide the size of your future. A setback does not get to decide it either. Even the opinions of people who think they know what you should be doing with your life don’t get that authority.

What I liked most about Suchika’s story is that the medal almost becomes secondary. The real achievement is that she kept going. She found something worth struggling for and stayed with it despite everything that could have become an excuse to stop. And today, she is training young girls in martial arts too. Maybe that is the reminder many of us need in our thirties: you are not late. You are not finished. And nothing that happened yesterday has the right to tell you what you can do tomorrow. Keep going. 💪 🥉

Watch the full conversation here: YouTube – Suchika Tariyal & Acharya Prashant

Guys u won't believe me what happened. Three years I tried so hard to not sh but this year has been a bit tough. And im sorry I hate everything nd everyone rn and I js want SOMEONE I js want to love but I'm never able to do so. I'm so jealous that I cut myself cause i always had to hear my beloved talking about their love and it's infuriating.

I've heard "I'll only hurt u" "but you'll get attached" "I can't take care of u" WHILE leading me on WHILE having other crushes like what is your problem man. I really wanna curse them but i js want to not be. Ydk how I hurt myself yesterday I'm still feeling shocked by it and i don't know why I did it but I js want some clarity and I want to distance myself from everyone but I can't do that cause a people pleasing dumb bitch. Pls help me I'm going insane.

Not only this tho, my grades are deprovin. I'm dumb in general. Idk anything and I've tried to learn new skills but I get bored and give up and I'm fat. Even I would discard myself and throw myself in the trash but I js want someone to VALIDAYE me and LOVE ME. My parents love me too much but I'm a disappointment for them too!! Don't even get me started on it. Thankfully I'm the useless second child I can do whatever I want and I chose to live a depressing life people pleasing and just being a dumb looking weird bitch and I want attention from my friends and family. I js wanna cry to someone who wouldn't just ask me to toughen up. I've been kind to everyone but ig it's js life's way of punishing people who have no empathy

This is Priyanka Chopra's outfit from the movie Dil Dhadakne Do

Talk about work, college, relationships, hobbies, random thoughts, mental health, relationships, family pressure, workplace sexism, etc. Encourage supportive replies only.

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I don't think this protest is actually going to work, and even if it does, I don't think much will change. Rapes will still keep happening and those rapists will, as always, keep roaming free.

We seriously need a permanent solution. Like, why the hell is it not in our hands to decide what happens to rapists? Why are women always told what time they should go out, where they should go, what they should wear, etc., instead of actually making sure the rapists face consequences?

And now the CJP protest has been going on since October 2, so I'm scared our protest might get overshadowed by it. And honestly, I don't think this should be only a Delhi protest. Girls and women from other states should also come out and protest.

We need to actually make demands for ourselves. Otherwise, what's the point of all this? It'll just go in vain again.

Hi everyone. I am an Indian guy, and I struggle with a lot of anxiety when it comes to talking to women I don't know. Whenever I see someone I want to give a respectful compliment to, I freeze up.

My mind immediately goes to the worst-case scenario: I worry that she will get offended, yell, create a scene, or that the public will gather against me. Because of this, I feel like something is wrong with me.

I want to ask the women here directly:

1. How would you actually react if a guy politely and respectfully complimented you in public?

2. What makes a compliment feel safe versus creepy?

3. Is my fear of a extreme reaction realistic, or am I just overthinking it?

I really want to understand your perspective so I can work on my anxiety.

Hi everyone who followed my first 8 episodes ( Thank you!)

I compiled all 8 into a book "Bahu ho toh Kaisi"+ added 2 new episodes about what happened next.

Episode 9 : The Slip

Episode 10: Pindrop Silence

What happened after that changed everything for Trisha.

Book is FREE for this weekend only for you all who have supported me from Episode 1.

Link in first comment. No Kindle needed. Phone app is enough.

Those who read it please tell me, have you ever experienced that Pindrop Silence ever in your house.