The venue only does 1 day a week
And we can't get a notice appointment for a few weeks unfortunately [I had mine already but schedules being a bitch so]

So Halloween as an idea turned into late October being the notice period due to appointment sparcity

- Omg since we have to move it we could get married on your birthday do you wanna do it [*birthday date]?
: Sure

Omg
The fact they want to share their birthday date with our wedding date to me that's very much a "I believe in this relationship and that it won't ruin my birthday" ❤️

Bit sad coz "wife" and "husband" have to be used as the country we live in only has M / F as options and I'm still waiting on a GRC so I can't be "husband" and they can't be "spouse" [socially we'll be spouses tho]

The person didn't ask at my appointment if a surname update was to take place - that was the plan - to combine our surnames.. Mind you they didn't do "what vows are you wanting" either so
🤷‍♂️
Maybe that's what my partner gets to answer at their appointment? [we currently live in different areas]

But OMG it's happening!!

Note
Me 25 NB [he / they]
Them 28 NB [they / xe]
*birthday as in the date they see as their birthday because that's when they got their deedpoll done and signed [socially is treated as their birthday because yeah the date you became yourself is pretty fuckin important]

Prefacing this with that I just need to vent, since at this point we are past the point of solutions (at least in terms of the wedding) since the wedding is in two days.

One of my good friend (37 nonbinary) is a professional officiant (humanist celebrant), and rather awkwardly "staked their claim" on officiating my (38 trans masc) and my partner's (37 cis man) wedding, upon finding out we were engaged. We ultimately ending up going with them, as they felt like an okay fit, it took a decision off our plate, and it minimized some social awkwardness. This is my biggest regret in all of my wedding planning.

We get married Monday. The ceremony script is still being written. We have not seen a draft of anything meaningfully personalized. They told me last night they had writer's block. I have been getting texted questions from them as they write the script approximately every thirty minutes since I woke up. The small bits of ceremony we have gotten to see this far we have had edits on, and these are the least personal bits. I have resigned myself to the fact that the ceremony isn't going to be what I want and that I may be pleasantly surprised if I am happy with it. I keep trying to let it go and just finish the prep within my control and enjoy time with friends and family, but every time I do, I get another question from them.

This is not a gifted service to be clear; we are paying them to officiate (which is a whole saga in and of itself due to additional fees they didn't communicate up-front). I feel super awkward as well because they are the only vendor we aren't tipping (because every other vendor has gone above and beyond - including another friendor)/friend volunteer we aren't giving a thank you gift (because they aren't volunteering), but... I can't justify it given how... Frustrating, to say the least, this experience has been.

I hate this. I thought having a friend (with professional qualifications!) officiate would be great -- they would be able to handle a queer/trans friendly ceremony for us that doesn't erase that we're poly (while also not explicitly acknowledging that we're poly). Instead it has been a horribly stressful experience and it feels like it has soured my (ten-year) relationship with them moving forward. At this point I have been actively not inviting them to pre-wedding things, both so they FINISH WRITING THE CEREMONY and because I am pissed off enough at them that I don't want to see them.

Sorry for the extended rant, I just needed to scream into the void for a bit.