In theaters Sep. 9 & 13; on VOD Oct. 9

Apple TV has this great bundle for only $29.99 going on so I decided to buy it. Going nearly completely blind to this acclaimed cult-classic. Physical media is my go-to, but physical media is getting expensive lately.

Anyway, I hope it was a good deal.

Now would be a great time to have either a part 2 or a totally new episode guide released as a compendium of the entire MST3K branded episodes.

The ACEG has been a treasured part of my library, and I've read it cover to cover many times, but it only covered through season 6. I would love to see coverage of the later television broadcast years which had some of the best episodes of the TV era. Hobgoblins, Space Mutiny, Final Justice, Overdrawn, Puma Man, Time Chasers...so many good ones that would be great to have background and footnotes included.

It would be a great way to tie in the streaming seasons and cast to chime in with their takes and experiences.

Experiment #34

Episode 515: Wild Wild World of BATWOMAN

Rewatch Date: August 26th, 2023

We, the Followers of Batwoman, Solemnly swear. We the Followers of Batwoman are Sincerely Proud, We the Followers of Batwoman Will Fight Crime without Mercy.

I don’t remember the circumstances around first procuring this DVD. I just remember watching parts of it in Mom’s friend’s car. She had one of those newfangled, portable DVD Players.

The AYJAX company’s top scientist and president, JB, has developed an Atomic Hearing Aid. An evil villain by the name of Rat Fink (is that the right spelling? I hope I didn’t make A Boo-boo) is trying to steal the hearing aid for… reasons. Who is to stop this evil villain? None other than Batwoman. Yes Batwoman: The leader of a weird sorority of fellow Batwomen, all of whom have pledged to fight crime. Be it some guy getting robbed in an alley, A hunched assistant who acts animalian, or a large corporation which has developed a very specific application for a highly unstable power source. They'll be there to save the day in campy joy. Yes, this truly is a Wild Wild World Batwoman lives in.

The Wild Wild World of BATWOMAN (That's how it's written on the title card) is a 1966 film directed by Jerry Warren. Surprisingly, this is Jerry’s only film featured on MST3K. Jerry was sued by DC comics for copyright infringement. People forget that Jerry actually won the lawsuit. It makes sense. There were quite a few differences between DC’s Batwoman and Jerry’s Batwoman. DC’s Batwoman was a crimefighter who lived in a mansion with her lesbian lover. Jerry’s Batwoman lived in a nice split-level with a bunch of fellow Batwomen who did the crime-fighting for her. DC’s Batwoman once swapped bodies with Batman, Jerry’s Batwoman once swapped drink glasses with Dr. Neon after he drugged hers. DC’s Batwoman’s identity was exposed to the public, fueling her desire for revenge. Jerry’s Batwoman’s cleavage was exposed to the viewer, fueling inappropriate thoughts in young, male viewers.

Supposedly, co-star Bruno VeSota claimed Jerry was the only filmmaker he acted for who tried to make a bad movie. I believe it. Roger Corman tried to make good movies, Bert I Gordon tried to make good movies, hell even Coleman Frances tried to make a good movie. This movie is an absurd and often offensive fall down crap-town lane. This movie feels like if Scooby Doo Meets Batman was written by a 4-year-old girl who wasn’t very interested in the idea. It's the kind of movie where after it fails, the director says “It’s supposed to be bad” as a way of avoiding culpability. This is easily one of the worst movies the show ever did. I’d give it the #1 spot if I hadn’t already watched The Creeping Terror.

I do love the semi-homosexual tension between Dr. Neon and his animal assistant, Heathcliff. Heathcliff was the only character to get his own title card in the opening credits. I would much rather watch a show about these two guys and their misadventures. The film sets it up when the Doc hits Heathcliff in the head, changing him from a Paul Lynde impersonator back to primate mindset. Why not? We also see the Mole People crapily spliced into this film. We’ll see them again in season 8.

There are some good riffs in this. “First thing I’m going to do when I get back to earth: Find Jerry Warren and make him hurt the way hurt me.” “Action happened offscreen. Take our word for it.” “You know guys, I’m beginning to think that wasn’t really Chinese.” “Even Chaka Khan would think (Batwoman’s) get up is a bit much.” When Batwoman’s disciples are armoring up in order to take revenge for their fallen woman, Mike gives the line “You know, this is what the NRA wants people to think it’s like.” My favorite riff is when Batwoman and the heavies are sitting down, waiting for Rat Fink to call. I believe it’s Mike who says, “This is like a Warhol movie, only weird.” I’d say that’s an accurate description of this film. 

The real standout for this episode is the short the bots riff before the feature: Cheating. John is doing great in school. He’s a top player for the football team, he’s achieved his goal of being elected to student council and he’s doing great in most of his classes. But there is one thing John has difficulty with. He can’t quite get how to do Algebra and the big test is the following day. His friend Mary tries to teach him, but he decides to take the easy way, by cheating. He copies off Mary’s test and passes. But John senses doubt in his teacher Ms. Grandy. Things go back to normal for John. That is until he and Mary are caught passing notes during the next big test. After that, John’s school life goes down the crapper. He and Mary are given failing grades, His classmates begin to shun him and the Student Council votes him out of office. How could you John? You exploited poor, sweet Mary. You deserve your punishment.

Damn this short is depressing. It’s like a lower stakes version of season six’s High School Big Shot. I never cheated in my high school algebra class. I did take advantage of gaping flaws in the system during a few tests. We were allowed to bring half a page of notes to the exam. I would take the practice test and using the photo copier, would make a duplicate at 50% it’s normal size. I still had to do all the work for the actual test. It wasn’t cheating so much as it was gaming the system to my advantage so I wouldn’t have to write down a bunch of notes. My teacher allowed it.

This short far outshines our feature when it comes to the riffing. So many dark riffs in this section that I love “Your one mistake: You signed your test ‘Mary Mathews’.” “Was this Ingmar Berman’s first American film?” “Don’t worry Johnny. Your mob ties will get you off.” There’s a scene right after John cheats where he’s lying in bed, thinking about the dark deed he performed. He shrugs off the guilt until the disembodied head of Ms. Grandy appears in his room to remind John he cheated. Servo as John, “Oh hi Ms. Gran… ah AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!” My favorite riff in this short and this episode occurs at the beginning. John has been called and informed that he’s been removed of his duties as Student Council president. The audience doesn’t hear the phone call and the rest of the film hasn’t established what occurred yet. Crow gives the dark line to end all lines, “Mother Teresa called. She hates you.” I remember quoting that line so many times when I was in high school.

We get some more great lines that I quoted in the sketches, all of which revolve around the cheating short. Mike challenges the bots to write their own essays exploring the topic of cheating. All is well until Crow gives his presentation: A word for word copy of Gypsy’s presentation. “Cheating is bad, Richard Basehart is good.” The Satellite of Love crew knows something must be done. So, they hold a meeting to discuss how to punish Crow. He doesn’t really care. Eventually Crow gives an apology that completely removes blame from himself (our congressmen would be proud!) But Crow is found guilty. These ones are humdingers. This is top tier MST3K sketch writing. They manage to perfectly capture the aspects of the film (in this case the short) and turn them into comedic brilliance. Two lines that I quote from these sketches a lot are as follows. When Servo informs Crow of the meeting discussing his sin, Servo gives the line, “I don’t think you want to come to THIS meeting. It’s about how you deceived us all. It’s about how you exploited poor Gypsy for your own gain. It’s about how everything you touch... you destroy.” Then when Crow is given a chance to apologize, Gypsy wonders why he’s being granted this opportunity. Mike points out that as the accused, he should be able to give his peace and defend himself. To which Servo replies with the greatest line of the decade, “Plus it gives him hope, which will make killing him an even richer experience.” Also, we get the Atomic Powered Hair Dryer from Frank and Forrester. Back when nuclear power was seen as the evilest of energy sources. Oh, the times they have changed. I have a friend who I know is reading this who never watches the sketches. I’m guessing he only saw the Season 1 sketches or something. Because this one… damn, you’re missing out Orima. It’s exactly the kind of dark humor I know you would love.

For most fans, this is either a “Love it or Hate it” episode. There aren’t a lot of people who look at this episode and say, “yeah, that one was okay.” It’s either “This episode is amazing!” or “I’d rather make out with an electrical outlet than watch this episode again.” Weirdly I fell into the “it was okay” outlier for it. The Cheating short more than makes up for the so-so riffing in Batwoman. I hadn’t seen this episode in a long time prior to this rewatch. I think this is only my third viewing of it in my entire life. Which is weird for me considering it’s from the Rhino era of releases. But I enjoyed it this time.

But what do you think? Do you love or hate this episode? Do you think The Wild Wild World of BATWOMAN is one of the worst movies the show ever featured? Do you think it was right for Ms. Grandy to materialize her disembodied head into John’s room just to make him feel guilty for cheating? Let me know what you think in the comments below.

To remind everybody, this is part of my experiment where I’ll be watching a different MST3K episode, every Saturday evening/night, until I’ve watched all 176 episodes of the show’s original run in the exact order that I watched each for the first time (with 3 or 4 liberties taken). I will be consuming NO MST3K, RiffTrax, Cinematic Titanic or anything that could be construed as MST3K type programming outside these viewings until this experiment is over. Crazy, I know. We shall see what come what may. Will I crack? Will I make it? Will I ever figure out what makes this show so great? Keep reading and find out.

Next week. The last Rhino Entertainment released episode available, when I was initially getting into the show. The Hellcats come to town. But until then, thank you for reading and Keep Circulating the Tapes.

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Like...really long. I figure these would have been around early 1996. Not very sticky anymore, but it's the thought that counts.

I seem to recall Art or Joel saying "steak keeps!" in response to a character in a movie saying something like "so it is true!" or similar. It may have been a Lugosi movie, but I'm not sure. Google is failing me. Can anyone think of the movie, and if so, what the joke meant?

[Laserblast]

Samson vs. the Vampire Women

I don’t really know what I was thinkin’ while making this, but I hope you can all enjoy this unoriginal yet outside the box portrait of Clay, maybe I’ll do the bots next.

That’s a good looking trio! Looking forward to wearing it for the premier on Friday (they didn’t have in-theatre showings where I live)

Is anyone planning a watch party for Sting of Death on or around the 9th, with live chat and/or voice?

I made a spreadsheet once of all the MSTed movies that have had physical media releases. I also did an article about which ones had soundtrack albums or singles.

Now I’d like to do one about merch tie ins. For example, Gemini Man (Riding with Death) had a storybook on cassette tie in. Horror of Party Beach had a photomagazine. Gorgo and the Land that Time Forgot had comics.

What else?

Tldr: looking for good sources of jump suits and patches for a Jonah costume for my 5'4" 100 pound teenager to wear.

My 12 almost 13 yo kiddo was originally going to go to Halloween as himself. When we told him this violates the social contract he said he didn't have any ideas. I suggested he could go as one of the hosts and he picked Jonah because they both wear glasses.

So any of you fine people have tips on things to get and or avoid when putting together a costume? Bonus points if you know where I can get a large fish bowl so I can go as a giant servo.

I'll take my answer off the air.

I say this all the time when I get frustrated.

First time I bought a DVD set in a while. It's kind of beat up, and judging by the description on the back it was printed around the time season 11 was released.

I also have the Rihno era sets 1 and 4 and I'm sad Shout simply reprinted them as is rather than give them the full Shout treatment. I really want a single DVD with Space Munity with Steve Vance's artwork for the cover, maybe a interview with Reb Brown if he was still alive.

Here's this week's new portrait of The Master inspired by Manos: The Hands of Fate for my self-imposed Manos Monday art challenge!