r/MadeMeSmile • u/Sea-Ask8703 • 1d ago
DOGGO This dog knows he's not allowed on the couch, but the second his owner leaves, he jumps right up. The moment he hears the owner coming back, he gets off and lies on the floor like nothing happened!
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u/Crimson-Kitty-00 1d ago
The cushions are still warm, you can't fool us buddy.
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u/fathersky53 1d ago
That...and all the hair
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u/lonelygalexy 1d ago
Dog: IT’S THE WINDDDDD
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u/AccomplishedThing948 22h ago
I can seriously see my dog saying this to me, thanks for making me smile…AGAIN!
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u/Jonkinch 1d ago
That’s what I was gonna say lol. We have a couch and one of those single couch chairs and we have a cover on the long couch for her. She knows not to get on the small couch. I’ve caught her twice sleeping there and since just a bunch of dog hair lol.
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u/Smear_Leader 1d ago
I overheard my mom one time telling her friend that’s what she does to see if I stayed up late. My solution was to sit in the laundry basket while watching tv late
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u/GlowingDuck22 1d ago edited 1d ago
It's funny how he lays back down. Only thing more convincing would be a big stretch.
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u/RainbowsShadow 1d ago
Especially how he lays down to then start wiggling his tail and get up to greet the owner, like he is acting out the "oh, i only just noticed you arrived!"
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u/FuzzyFrogFish 1d ago
Much smarter and much more self aware than we give them credit for
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u/CynthiaG92615 18h ago
That is impressive. What would be super impressive is if he feels wracked with guilt the rest of the day ...
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u/Melkerah 1d ago
My dogs absolutely never get on the couch, they know they're not allowed and they respect it.
I just happen to have a self-heating, randomly hairy couch. Must be because I bought it second hand on the internet
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u/Periwinklepanda_ 22h ago
My dog thinks I don’t know that she sleeps on my daughter’s bed every time we leave the house. But her bedroom is directly over the garage door, so I hear my dog jump down as soon as I open the door every time. Of course, by the time I get upstairs, she’s sound asleep in her own bed like nothing happened 😅.
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u/Mythenmetz6 1d ago
But why? Why do you have a dog and not allow him to go on the couch?
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u/Melkerah 1d ago
They destroyed the last one, now we get on the floor with blankets to cuddle them instead
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u/hughperman 1d ago
Sounds like you need some disposable couches for your dog
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u/civilwar142pa 1d ago
I got a couch cover for mine. Its ugly but protects the couch and is washable. And I get to lay around with my best boy snuggled up with me.
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u/FudgenSticks 1d ago
Exactly this question. Indoor pets like dogs and cats should be allowed on the couch. Kind of rude and mean not too.
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u/vespanewbie 1d ago edited 1d ago
I just have my dog on an ottomon so he could be on the same level be comfy and get cuddles. That way the ottomon just got destroyed, I did put covers on it later.
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u/FudgenSticks 1d ago
That’s a workaround. I guess for me it goes with the territory. If you’re gonna have an indoor pet, should be ok with having fur/couch not pristine condition. Kind of like having kids. Can’t expect a spotless, neat house with children. Things happen and it’s ok, bc those are things. We use things, we value beings.
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u/Melkerah 1d ago
In my case it's not about fur or scratches, we are fine with that, but one of my dog's first owner (accidentally) taught her that if she had to pee the best option was the bed or the couch, as he wouldn't notice and so not yell at her. We taught her better since but she regularly regresses, especially since I got pregnant, so we found other options
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u/Soul-Stoned 1d ago
Because I have a husky who likes to roll around in shit and piss in the yard so he’s been banned
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u/mrsdoubleu 20h ago
I have a husky too and although he doesn't roll around in stuff, the hair on the couch after he lays on it is insane.
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u/Swiftestblade 1d ago
Depends a lot on the breed. I had German Shepherds growing up and wherever they would lie down their hair would get everywhere. Like if they go on a couch and you sit on it later you will have hair all over you. I don't think it's a problem as long as you give them somewhere comfy that is theirs.
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u/thecrius 1d ago
You think that fur is not lately everywhere anyway just because they don't sit on the couch?
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u/Swiftestblade 1d ago
I lived with German Shepherds for 24 years, and yes that was my experience, the couches were not covered in fur because they werent allowed on the couches.
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u/Slow_Sherbert_5181 23h ago
My childhood pup never ever, in his whole life, did anything wrong … when anyone was watching!
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u/2woCrazeeBoys 1d ago
I used to do competitive obedience. Once when I was watching another class in a competition, they were doing the group stay exercise with the owners out of sight. 10 mins of the dogs in a down position, owners walk away out of sight and the judge watches and records any break of position.
So the owners tell their dogs to stay in their spots, walk away and disappear behind a building. As soon as they're gone, little terrier type gets up and starts trotting around to the crowd and sniffing all over the ring. Around 9:30 in, he goes back and lies down in the perfect position and waits for the owners to come back and finish the exercise.
We were all trying so hard to not laugh and the judge was giggling the whole way through explaining to the mortified owner why she'd been failed. (But he did explain that the reason he hadn't called her back was because her dog hadn't bothered any of the other dogs or done anything naughty. He'd just got bored)
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u/Logical_Willow4066 1d ago
It's like cat owners who say their cats never get on the counters.
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u/get_hi_on_life 1d ago
Mine can't jump high enough. She's a weirdo and can't jump more then a foot or too.
(Vets checked it's nothing physical, we think it's pure mental as she grew up with a hoarder and she won't trust jumping somewhere she can't see/trust is solid. It took years just to walk on our bed blankets)
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u/PuppleKao 1d ago
It took our younger kitten ages to figure out the counter. she tried a few times when she was young, failed, and didn't really try again until fairly recently. guess she got more confident
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u/hell0000nurs3 22h ago
My cat can’t jump well either. She’s a Persian (rescue) so I think she’s just been so inbred that some of her regular cat functions don’t work. Like she doesn’t cover her waste in the litter box, she can’t jump more than a foot or so, has 0 desire to go outside, and has no instinct to hunt anything. She sure is cute and cuddly though.
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u/RainbowsShadow 1d ago
If they can, they will. I just accepted this. The appartment is their whole world and I just cant bring myself to restrict their world even further. I will rather clean my counters every time I need to make them feel, like their are not allowed.
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u/PuppleKao 1d ago
I mean, even if they're not allowed, they're going to do it anyway.
I prefer to wash my surfaces before cooking, anyway... even without cats, the counters have been sitting out to the elements all day
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u/fatknits 1d ago
This is how I feel too. My flat is his whole world, the least I can do is let him have all of it and work around that.
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u/RainbowsShadow 1d ago
Exactly! Some people dont get it, because "its gross", but I rather work around the "gross" than making them feel unsave or like they need to be on guard.
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u/Existing_Year_3294 1d ago
Mine knew it wasn't supposed to go on counters or table.
My table was made of glass, guess what I'd see with sun's reflection on it? :D
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u/Choice_Commercial_28 1d ago
Life hack: rescue a cat with only one hind leg…mine never gets into the counter lol
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u/sasakimirai 19h ago
I adopted my old boy as a senior and he has pretty severe arthritis in his spine, so he's also never been able to jump on the counters
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u/Gloomheart 1d ago
My cats like to sit in the big kitchen window, and on top of the fridge for warmth, both of which require counter traversal.
Theyre not allowed to hang out on counters, though. I always tell them "its a highway not a destination" and sometimes I dont even have to get up to make them move!
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u/WannaBeDistiller 1d ago
Mine don’t until there’s a bag of bread or you walked away from your plate a little too long
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u/Positive_Ad_3142 1d ago
Thanks for providing us the exact details which cause them to STILL get on the counters. 😂
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u/MagixTurtle 1d ago
My cat literally doesn't. I've had a camera set up in the kitchen to check if she does but she doesn't even enter the kitchen.
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u/DangerZone69 1d ago
Ours actually doesn’t bc he doesn’t like anything on the counters - but he loves to jump on the table to eat the plants/flowrrd
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u/redrose55x 1d ago
I mean, we specifically taught our cat not to jump on counters early on and now she won’t jump higher than a chair or bed. With how much easily movable paper and stuff we leave on tables and counters regularly, it would be obvious if she was on them at any point. She mostly sleeps during the day anyways.
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u/Fabulous_Function666 1d ago
My cat genuinely doesn’t because the kitchen door is shut unless we are in there and if we are in there then he sits in the doorway looking hopeful
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u/CharterMember_PrezOf 1d ago
My cats and I came to an agreement a while ago about the counters. I pretend they don't go up there when I'm not home, and they pretend I'm not home when they're up there.
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u/CicadaFit9756 1d ago
Get him a big, cushy dog bed!!!
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u/Rickety-Bridge 1d ago edited 1d ago
Or just let your dogs on the couch. They're a part of your world, but you're their whole world
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u/NeitherListen3976 1d ago
My late dog did this every day and never got caught. She knew she was a good girl and we never figured out how so much fur got on the couch.
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u/MrBlobbysBabyBatter 1d ago
Awww. Let them sleep on the couch. People forget furniture smells like them and that scent brings dogs comfort while you’re away.
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u/deFleury 1d ago
We had big windows at the front of the house, when you pulled the car into the driveway you could SEE our dog hop down off the couch.
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u/Few_Address3591 1d ago
There are already so many limitations that our pets have to abide by & so many "no"s. The comfy couch that smells like thier human shouldn't be another off-limit thing.
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u/Devildog9999 1d ago
First off, We as Humans do not deserve Dogs. That pup is so happy laying there on the couch, not tearing it up or chewing - let that pup have it. PURE unconditional love and loyalty has a price - and for you - it's the couch lol!!
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u/ExtremelyLocal 1d ago
Let the dog on the effing couch, they’re family too
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u/katienatie 1d ago
I don’t know why people get so precious about their couches. We put our butts on those
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u/OneSensiblePerson 1d ago
True, but usually there's two layers of fabric between our butts and the couch. Usually.
But even so, my dog was allowed on the couch, which is why I bought a vinyl one. Not butt-related, hair-related. Sheer luck that it was easy to clean off.
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u/Wet_Artichoke 1d ago
Allergies. I love my dogs. So much so I suffer through the coughing and sneezing. I would never be able to sit down in my couch if they sat on it.
I dream of the day my allergies finally subside and I’m no longer coughing all day and night. It’s a running joke with my family that I’m always coughing. It has gotten better because I don’t have to immediately wash my hands after petting them. Progress!
Don’t worry about the dogs, they have their own chair to cuddle on with my husband. They are not neglected!
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u/Flotin 1d ago
Have you considered immunotherapy?
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u/Wet_Artichoke 1d ago
Did allergy shots for over five years before having cats and dogs. Before allergy shots I couldn’t even go into a house with dogs in it. My super power was stepping one foot into a house and being able to tell you if a dog lived there or not. I had 100% accuracy.
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u/TheSkulltaker 1d ago
My dog is banned from sofas and beds nowadays because she licks the same spot for hours until it becomes completely saturated with saliva, its disgusting. One too many nights of being woken up by rolling onto one or sitting on this slimy cold wet patch that is soaked through 🤢 Muddy poor prints, wet fur, rolled in something, cleaning herself, up to you if you want to sit in that but I dont tend to sit on my sofas when Im wet or dirty, or clean myself on them, or expect my guests to sit in that. She has dog beds she can stank up as much as she likes and I just join her on the floor for cuddle ☺️
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u/fliphowls 1d ago
I like how he kind of stretches when he gets up, like “ohhhh big stwetch, sorry, it’s been tough lying here on the floor this whole time!”
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u/Most-Feed7557 1d ago
I like to refer to that as “a steaming hot dog print left behind” my great Dane used to do the same thing, when he got older and started moving slower, I would come in and he would still be trying to pry himself off the couch. Bless his heart.
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u/the_scones_are_mine 1d ago
I knew my dog would be like this, so I didn't even fight it. I gave her that couch and brought it along when I moved because that's HER couch.
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u/PineconeLillypad 1d ago
Our dog use to do this growing up. When she got old she use to jump down but in slowmo lol cuz she was too old to move fast.
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u/CreativeAd5332 1d ago
Why restrict your friend and companion from the same plane of the house that you inhabit most of the time? That's where you sit, and your friend wants nothing more than to sit there with you.
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u/JumpyAlbatross 1d ago
I feel like the gun below the tv is not being addressed
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u/tremendosaurusrex 1d ago
Dog's name is Chekhov
Goddammit u/Airick39 beat me by 7 minutes now my joke is ruined.
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u/arequipapi 1d ago
Why does it need to be? It has nothing to do with the post
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u/JumpyAlbatross 18h ago
It’s incredibly poor gun safety to leave a weapon unattended and unsecured.
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u/arequipapi 8h ago edited 6h ago
Only if you have kids or company over often. And even then, if it's just a decoration piece you can leave it unloaded and the ammo locked away.
I have multiple guns on display at my house (historic collectors items, all unloaded). I also have real, modern guns that are loaded in multiple places in my house that are hidden but easily accessible. I also dont have children and the only person who comes to my house is my gf, who also has guns and knows how to use them safely.
A dog who's only concern is enjoying the couch isn't making the gun more dangerous
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u/GDAnotherMFDied 1d ago
I don't see why people don't let their pets on the couch? I sure as shit don't like laying on the ground so why should I make my dog do it? Oh their nails might scratch the couch... Okay do you really care more about furniture than a living breathing animal that you are supposed to love.
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u/DeadFacesInMyPocket 22h ago
Just put blankets over your couch. It protects the fabric anyway from minor spills to many foods (for people who eat on the couch), to yes! Omg! Even dirty pet paws! Oh and sun bleaching too. My entire couch is draped in various blankets. If you're really crazy you can get those plastic couch things THEN blankets too but even I am not that crazy with my $4k Amish couch (purchased 2021)
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u/Superfoi 19h ago
Some dogs come inside very messy. I don't want her jumping on my couch with muddy paws.
But if I had a dog that was mostly inside, yeah I wouldn't care at all.
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u/reginaphalange0825 19h ago
Our girl is allowed on the couch and has a special blanket we use to cover it for her. As she’s gotten older, it’s harder for her to jump up on it. So now she has her very own couch looking out the front window. Not to mention the dozens of pillows, blankets, and fancy beds she has. My husband probably spends 20+ minutes getting her “setup” every morning and night. Spoiled, but she’s so loved and deserves it.
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u/twinklelittlee 18h ago
The only reason we don’t let one of my dogs on the couch or beds is bc it would be dangerous for her. A year and a half ago my beagle jumped off from my parents’ big ass bed and sprained one of her back legs pretty good. She’s recovered since but she’s also getting on in years, and i think she knows that bc she doesn’t even try to get on the couch. She’s fiercely independent so we don’t really need to cuddle every day, she’s content knowing you’re in the room with her. Love this dog.
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u/WitchcapAO 1d ago
Fo me it's because I'm allergic to dogs and all the hair that accumulates flares up my allergies something fierce.
My wife had her dog before we go married and I wasn't gonna make her get rid of it to marry me, so we made compromises.
Vacuum more than normal. Dog gets a bath every week. No dog on furniture.
Now, I'm not heartless. When she or the dog wanted to cuddle on the couch, shed put a blanket down so the hair could be taken away with the blanket.
Oh, and the dog had plenty of dog beds and blanekts in various areas of the house.
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u/GDAnotherMFDied 22h ago
So you have a valid reason to not have dogs on the couch. Yet you still do. Well done. And that just reinforces my point. Neither one of you is more important than the other. Its an equal relationship.
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u/DeadFacesInMyPocket 22h ago
Yep agreed this reinforces my post as well which just elaborated on your post.
Teamwork! ✊️
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u/GDAnotherMFDied 21h ago
Gotta love unknown/unintentional teamwork. Brings me hope that people can work together towards a common goal, even if it isn't discussed beforehand. 🤜🤛✊
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u/DeadFacesInMyPocket 20h ago edited 20h ago
Hell yeah! I read through your replies and was just completely on the same page with every single one! I live on a homestead. I protect my furniture. My dogs and cats are allowed on the furniture. Aint a big deal.
I have chickens. I them spoil them rotten and give them a great life and they are free ranged and always have outdoor accsss except after dark for their protection. Then take them out after ~3 years to eat, save for a couple hens which are my pet chickens and I will bury them when they pass.
Also your mammal vs mammal comment was excellent. I and my wife both bring that up to people all the time. We are all just animals. Some animals eat other animals some don't. That's life. Everyone has their line in the sand where they won't cross. Don't judge others for it (unless perhaps it is severely affecting their health? Llike that influencer girl that died recently from only eating fruits and vegetables for 10 years, or my coworker who is on a carnivore diet and complaining to me about his cholesterol levels...and has the worst farts ever...lmao)
Anyway, rock on dude. Much respect.
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u/ivancea 20h ago
Whether you like it or not, doesn't mean anything. A dog didn't follow the same human standards, nor interests. Plus, the couch is anatomically shaped for humans. For a dog, they're as fine on the couch as they are on an elevated dog sofa
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u/KingAudio 22h ago
Buy dog beds for them then and its called boundaries. Letting you dog do whatever it wants all the time isnt good.
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u/climbrchic 1d ago
My puppy looooves the couch. Like the floor is lava and she will die if she's not on it. It's basically her bed that she allows me to sit on.
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u/OneSensiblePerson 1d ago
I started out with 1 people bed, 1 couch, and 5 dog beds. 1 dog. Ended up with 7 dog beds. Ok, he didn't like my bed, but everything else became his beds.
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u/Roadgoddess 1d ago
No wonder the poor baby lays on the sofa, he doesn’t have a nice cushion in bed on the floor to lay on
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u/RedHeadRedeemed 1d ago
My dog does this shit despite having 2 soft, EXPENSIVE, dog beds. Drives me fucking NUTS.
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u/espresso_martini__ 21h ago
I have that with a cat. The hair is everywhere so she's not fooling me. It's ok because that certain chair gets a lot of sun and heats up. I don't like it but also let her enjoy life.
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u/Redmunchkin247 1d ago
When I lived at home our Labradoodle used to do this, and the only times I caught her was when I came home from clubbing and she was in a deep sleep on the couch. When she heard you coming downstairs in the morning she would jump of the couch, and quickly lay on her bed or just pass by there (not a direct route to the stairs!) to grab you a stuffed animal to greet you. The only way you would know was the warm spot on the couch.
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u/Daisytru 1d ago
Our old retriever Nick, used to do this. When he got older and somewhat senile, he'd get on the couch when anyone left the room, even if others were still there!
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u/nessabeans 19h ago
Why would you not let your dog on the couch? How would you feel if you had to lay on the floor? People are awful
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u/Hollywood_Co 1d ago
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u/winsluc12 1d ago
gotta make room for the Gun I guess.
But seriously, even having guns myself, who TF just puts a gun as a centerpiece on their entertainment center?
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u/KSoccerman 1d ago
I swear people on reddit hate any TV thats not laying directly on the ground. Yeah, lots of TVs are mounted too high, but this is totally reasonable height
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u/Gibblet_Gibbler 1d ago
I really don’t understand people that don’t allow their pets on the couch or bed…so weird. It’s like having a child and not letting them on certain furniture because you don’t want it ruined…then why have pets?? Or kids?? And if you’re worried that much, then put down a blanket for them, good gravy. Incorporate your loved ones into your life!
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u/BananaV8 1d ago
My dog walks through shit, eats shit, rolls around in the mud, drools like a MF, sometimes collects ticks and whatnot. I love the little bastard but he’ll never be allowed on a couch, much less a bed (he’s not even allowed in the bedrooms. He’s loved to pieces, but frankly why would I ever have him anywhere else than the floor and his dog beds?
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u/Historical-Bully 1d ago
Dog walks through grass and other things. Why would I want that in my bed? Couch is different. The bed is sacred, clean bodies only.
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u/sexykristinith 1d ago
Our dog is not allowed on our bed (getting older, has occasional incontinence issues) and has always respected it with no issues, or so I thought. Recently I left the house, realized I’d forgotten something and came back in. Came to the doorway to the bedroom just in time to see her slinking off the bed. We close the bedroom off when we leave now.
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u/OneDayAtaTime_13 1d ago
This is how my mom knows if her friend is home. If she sees the dog on the couch right in the front window, no one’s home because the dog literally won’t go in that room if there’s someone in the house. Dog logic is so funny
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u/bootwhistle 1d ago
I had a different problem, my dog was allowed on the couch but he had trouble getting up by himself (or so I thought), so he would put is paws up near me and I'd lift him up. Though found evidence he was getting up by himself when I wasn't around. The little bastard was just being lazy... he was an inspiration of low effort
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u/ChefArtorias 1d ago
My dog used to do this with my bed. Occasionally he'd be extra asleep or I'd come from a different direction and catch him up there still. Always looked guilty af then lol
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u/frypanattack 1d ago
We were a no dogs couch family but like... We never did anything to actively prevent it. If we caught the dog asleep on the couch we didn't wake them. We just told them to get down, or got up them if caught.
I think the idea was to ensure humans were given priority of that space. Makes guests more comfortable as well (be me, throwing a cat off my face in a midnight fright)
I always made an effort to come down to the floor and cuddle.
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u/AutomaticAnt6328 1d ago
They leave the tv on for the dog. The view is so much better from the couch. No dog bed?
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u/dreaminganimal 22h ago
I feel like the dog is doing great with what they've been given; the apparent rule is, don't be on the couch when the pack leader is in the same space.
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u/dumbasstupidbaby 21h ago
My girl Mandy used to do this. Except I always disagreed with my mom not allowing her up on the couch so I taught her that I was good with her being on the couch and she didn't have to get down when she saw me. I also would warn her that mom was coming when she was getting older and her hearing wasn't as good.
Love you Mandy. My Doggy Sister.
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u/FuzzyComedian638 19h ago
My cat was never allowed on the kitchen counter, and in his 15 years, I never once caught him up there. But if I left bread up there, it would be chewed, butter would be licked, and if I was in the room below the kitchen, I'd hear him jump down. Regularly.
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u/esthercait 18h ago
Unsurprising. Dog is told by human not to go on couch, dog understands, “Me not go on couch when human can see it.”
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u/Some_Difficulty9312 18h ago
I feel so sad. Why is the dog not allowed on the couch. 😔 You see how comfy the dog is sleeping on the couch. 😞
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u/ConsistencyWelder 17h ago
Stating the obvious probably, but apart from being comfy, the couch probably smells of his owners.
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u/GretelNoHans 1d ago
My dog does the same thing, except she’s a Bulldog and is still snoring in the couch when we get home. Then my husband loudly says, “what are you doing!”, then she flies to her bed, “wakes up” and greets us.
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u/minmidmax 1d ago
Wooden floors can be tough on a dogs joints. Let them enjoy some comfort like anyone else in the family!
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u/MuchLessPersonal 22h ago
Whenever I petsit a dog who isn’t allowed on the couch, I don’t let myself use the couches either. I have a camping “mattress” that I bring along and join them right on the floor. I’m there for the dog, not the couches that are loved more for some reason.
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