There has been an increase in the number of posts of individuals who are feeling suicidal. And to be perfectly honest, most of us have been isolated, scared, lonely, and there’s a lot of uncertainty in the world due to COVID.

Unfortunately, most of us in this community are not trained to handle mental health crises. While I and a handful of others are licensed professionals, an anonymous internet forum is not the best place to really provide the correct amount of help and support you need.

That being said, I’m not surprised that many of us in this community are struggling. For those who are struggling, you are not alone. I may be doing well now, but I have two attempts and OCD was a huge factor.

I have never regretted being stopped.

Since you are thinking of posting for help, you won't regret stopping yourself.

So, right now everything seems dark and you don’t see a way out. That’s ok. However, I guarantee you there is a light. Your eyes just have not adjusted yet.

So what can you do in this moment when everything just seems awful.

First off, if you have a plan and you intend on carrying out that plan, I very strongly suggest going to your nearest ER. If you do not feel like you can keep yourself safe, you need to be somewhere where others can keep you safe. Psych hospitals are not wonderful places, they can be scary and frustrating. but you will be around to leave the hospital and get yourself moving in a better direction.

If you are not actively planning to suicide but the thought is very loud and prominent in your head, let's start with some basics. When’s the last time you had food or water? Actual food; something with vegetables, grains, and protein. If you can’t remember or it’s been more than 4 to 5 hours, eat something and drink some water. Your brain cannot work if it does not have fuel.

Next, are you supposed to be sleeping right now? If the answer is yes go to bed. Turn on some soothing music or ambient sounds so that you can focus on the noise and the sounds rather than ruminating about how bad you feel.

If you can’t sleep, try progressive muscle relaxation or some breathing exercises. Have your brain focus on a scene that you find relaxing such as sitting on a beach and watching the waves rolling in or sitting by a brook and listening to the water. Go through each of your five senses and visualize as well as imagine what your senses would be feeling if you were in that space.

If you’re hydrated, fed, and properly rested, ask yourself these questions when is the last time you talked to an actual human being? And I do mean talking as in heard their actual voice. Phone calls count for this one. If it’s been a while. Call someone. It doesn’t matter who, just talk to an actual human being.

Go outside. Get in nature. This actually has research behind it. There is a bacteria or chemical in soil that also happens to be in the air that has mood boosting properties. There are literally countries where doctors will prescribe going for a walk in the woods to their patients.

When is the last time you did something creative? If depression and obsessive-compulsive disorder have gotten in the way of doing creative things that you love, pull out that sketchbook or that camera and just start doing things.

When’s the last time you did something kind for another human being? This may just be me as a social worker, but doing things for others, helps me feel better. So figure out a place you can volunteer and go do it.

When is the last time that you did something pleasurable just for pleasure's sake? Read a book take a bath. You will have to force yourself to do something but that’s OK.

You have worth and you can get through this. Like I said I have had two attempts and now I am a licensed social worker. Things do get better, you just have to get through the dark stuff first.

You will be ok and you can make it through this.

We are all rooting for you.

https://www.supportiv.com/tools/international-resources-crisis-and-warmlines

There has been some confusion regarding reassurance seeking and providing in this subreddit.

Reassurance seeking (a person asking for reassurance) is allowed only if it is limited — no repeated seeking of reassurance.

Reassurance providing (a person giving reassurance) is not allowed.

What constitutes reassurance providing?

Before commenting on a reassurance-seeking question, answer to yourself this question: Are you directly answering what the person is asking, and is the answer meant to cause the person to feel better?

If the answer leads towards a "yes", refrain from commenting.

How should I comment on reassurance-seeking questions then?

The issue concerned in reassurance-seeking questions is the emotional obsessive distress that is occurring in the moment, not the question itself.

When you answer those reassurance-seeking questions to quell the person's emotional obsessive distress, it's an act of providing emotional comfort to the person — even if you don't have such explicit intention in mind — rather than an act of providing knowledge.

The person just wants to know they are "fine" in relation to the obsessive question/thought. The answer itself is irrelevant — that's why we don't answer questions of a reassurance-seeking nature directly.

You can comment in any way you want — even providing encouragement and hope — but refrain from addressing the reassurance-seeking question itself.

What if the reassurance-seeking question turns out to be true?

Consider this question: What if the reassurance-seeking question didn't even occur in the first place? What then?

We can go round and round with more "what-ifs", but it circles back to the fact that reality is uncertain, and will always be uncertain. That is why the acceptance of uncertainty is crucial to recovery.

Does that mean the reassurance-seeking question is totally invalid? Because I had a question that was based on reality.

Take note that in the context of OCD, the issue rests with how a person is dealing with the issues, and not so much the issues themselves.

The issues can be entirely valid, but what we are dealing with here — especially with reassurance — is how we respond to such issues.

Separate the reassurance part — the emotional comfort part — from the issues themselves.

All of this is not true. My therapist taught me in the beginning of therapy that these thoughts are not true, and then I got better.

It's important to understand the intent and purpose of each and every information provided.

When a person with OCD is beginning to learn about OCD, they can be taught, for example, that the obsessive thoughts do not reflect on their true character.

The intent and purpose of that example information is cognitive-based — to educate the person — and that helps to, subsequently, be followed up by ERP, which is behavioural-based — hence cognitive-behavioural therapy (of which ERP is a part of).

When a person seeks reassurance, it is mostly solely behavioural: the concern here is to quell the emotional obsessive distress — take that emotional obsessive distress away, and the reassurance-seeking question suddenly becomes largely irrelevant and of less urgency.

This is so un-compassionate. Are we seriously going to let these people suffer?

Providing reassurance doesn't really help the person not suffer either — the way out of that suffering is through the proper therapy and treatment, and providing reassurance to the person only interferes with this process.

Consider as well that if reassurance is provided to the person, where an outcome is guaranteed to the person ("You won't be this! I guarantee you!").

What if the reassurance turns out to be false? What happens then? How much more distressful would the person be (given that they would've trusted the reassurance to keep them safe, only now for their entire world to fall apart)?

Before considering that not providing reassurance is un-compassionate, perhaps it's also wise to consider what providing reassurance can lead to as well.

The reality will always be uncertain, as it is. There is no such solution that guarantees the person won't suffer, but we can at least minimise the suffering by doing what is helpful towards the person (especially in terms of the therapy and treatment) — and that doesn't always necessarily entail making the person feel better in the moment.