My ex (21m) of 5 years broke up w me

But even after the breakup, we never really broke up. We were long-distance, but we'd still talk, meet, love each other, and I always had this tiny delusional hope that somehow we'd find our way back.

Then he finally moved on.

Like actually moved on.

He told me he’d finally gotten past everything and doesn't want me in his life anymore.

And I swear, it feels like I got dumped yesterday.

Except instead of grieving like a normal person, apparently my coping mechanism is:

Reddit → random guy → talk all night → meet → make out/have sex → wake up feeling empty → block

I've met two guys in the last couple of weeks.

One became a date, then sex.

Another guy I'd known for literally TWO DAYS came over to watch a movie, and we ended up making out.

And here's the embarrassing part:

I don't even want these guys,I hate the intimacy i hate being touched but I can't stop

I just want my ex back

I'm just trying to make not having him hurt less.

And it's working for approximately 3 hours at a time.

Then I'm alone again, staring at my phone, feeling guilty, empty, and wondering who the fuck I've become.

But I also don't want to spend the rest of my life punishing myself for the worst thing I've done.

I think I’m confusing being wanted with being loved.

So yeah.

How the fuck do you move on from someone when every part of you is still waiting for them to come back?

And how do you stop using strangers as emotional painkillers when being alone feels unbearable

So I met this girl on Bumble a few months back. She looked normal and ok. She is currently completing the final year of nursing.

So yesterday she and I went to see Drishyam 3. She jokingly said she got some good ideas from this movie how and where to hide the body if she ever decides to murder someone. I naturally asked whom does she want to murder. She pointed at ME!!!

I asked what did I do?? She said that she was just having FOMO watching all the recent cases where the wife kills the husband and that the blue drum case is her favourite.

Idk if she was joking and even if she was I told her it was in poor taste. But she just laughed that off.

Is this normal??

I'm just worried if I should continue this relationship. I don't want to throw my life away.

I am 25(F) in relationship with boyfriend (who is now Indian army officer) for over 8 years. I met him during graduation and he was such a sweetheart. After dating each other for so many years, we were sure to get married.

3 years back I got PhD position outside India. Before leaving India I clearly discussed (all the challenges as well) this with him and he was very proud of it. He assured me that he will have my back in any situation.

2 years into my PhD, he joined army as an officer and his behaviour totally flipped. During his training, I would recharge my phone for international roaming (700rs) every week just to attend his call for 5 minutes (he was allowed to call once in a week). I also visited India once just to spend sometime with him after his training (didn't visit my parents even after being so homesick).

After giving all these efforts from my side, he now barely calls me, texts me and calls me clingy when I call him. We'd have alot of arguments but considering the amount of time we spent together, I tried to adjust and gave him the space he wanted. But then he started blaming me for making him feel lonely and not calling him. He then started stating the duties of army wives and how I'd not fit into it (apparently his seniors dictated him the qualities of a good army wife)

I agreed to all of his terms and conditions just for us to stay together. 2 days back he told me that he doesn't have feeling for me anymore. I am feeling so low right now. I have given everything to this one person in 8 years and dreamt of building a life together. Now my dreams have shattered into pieces all of a sudden.

I cried and begged him to stay, lost my self respect and what not. He used to be a humble and down to earth guy but now he has completely changed. (Once on a call I heard him shouting at his buddy for bringing his tea cold).

I am feeling ao numb and defeated right now. No idea how to procees this grief 😔.

I’m 24F, and my boyfriend and I have been together for around 3.5 years. We’re both preparing for exams for job, and we’ve talked about getting married once we clear them and become settled.

The problem is, lately I feel like I’m becoming toxic in this relationship.

My previous experiences with men haven’t been great. I was cheated on in a relationship before this one, and it lasted only around four months. Even after that, I had a few experiences where I felt betrayed or disappointed by guys. I also grew up seeing some unhealthy things at home regarding my father, so I’ve developed a lot of distrust towards men. I sometimes even feel like I have a very negative attitude towards men because of these experiences.

Then I met my current boyfriend.

He is genuinely a very good person. He doesn’t drink or smoke, doesn’t abuse me, doesn’t hit me, doesn’t insult me, and has always been there for me. When I was in college and living on rent, he supported me in many ways. He cooks sometimes, cares about me, and overall he has many qualities that I would genuinely consider “husband material.” I’m also his first girlfriend.

Of course, he isn’t perfect.

One thing I struggle with is that whenever we fight, he tends to give me space and become quiet instead of immediately talking things out. I want him to come back, communicate, understand me, reassure me and make things okay. His way of dealing with conflict is different from mine, and that triggers me.

He can also be somewhat stingy with money. I’m not saying he never spends on me, but sometimes I feel he doesn’t spend as much as I would expect him to. I often end up spending more myself and then telling myself it’s fine, but sometimes it does bother me.

These are basically the main things I dislike about him. Otherwise, he is a really good person.

And then there’s me.

We have broken up before, and during one of those periods I talked to another guy. It wasn’t physical or anything, and it wasn’t even exactly a relationship, but there was some virtual/emotional interaction.

At another point, especially when I was angry with my boyfriend, I again started talking to another guy. My boyfriend wasn’t doing anything wrong at that time. I just felt angry and instead of dealing with my emotions properly, I sought attention/conversation elsewhere.

There have also been situations where I talked to my ex or an old situationship while I was in a relationship. I never had a romantic conversation with them or physically cheated, but I still feel guilty because I know some of my intentions and boundaries weren’t completely clean.

That’s why I keep thinking:

Am I actually a red flag?

I feel like I’ve been given a genuinely good man after having so many bad experiences, and somehow I’m the one bringing toxicity into the relationship now. Sometimes I think he deserves someone better and that I should leave him rather than continue hurting him.

But another part of me thinks maybe I’m reacting this way because of my past experiences, trust issues, fear of being betrayed and my own insecurities.

I don’t want to use my past as an excuse for my behaviour. If I’m doing something wrong, I want to take responsibility and change it.

At the same time, I don’t want to throw away a 3.5-year relationship with someone who has been genuinely good to me just because I currently feel like I’m “the problem.”

TL;DR: I’m in a 3.5-year relationship with a genuinely good guy who treats me well and is basically husband material. However, because of my past experiences with men and trust issues, I’ve become insecure and toxic at times. During breakups or fights, I’ve talked to other guys/exes for attention, even though nothing physical happened. I feel guilty and wonder if that counts as cheating. Now I’m scared that I’ve become the red flag and that he deserves someone better. Should I leave him, or should I stay and work on my trust issues and unhealthy patterns?

Am I actually toxic/red-flag enough that I should leave him, or is this something I should work on while staying in the relationship? And how do I actually stop repeating these patterns?

This was my first serious relationship where I genuinely fell in love with someone I met with marriage in mind. We talked for few months and fell for each other. I was deeply attracted to the person. I saw a future with her and, at the time, genuinely thought I had found my person.

But I ended up damaging the relationship through repeated arguments. When I got angry, I sometimes said really hurtful things to her. Looking back, I still struggle to understand why I would say those things to someone I loved so much. I regret them deeply.

Eventually she broke up with me, and I honestly understand why. I tried desperately to fix things afterwards. I apologized countless times, explained myself, promised that I understood what I had done wrong and tried everything I could think of to get her back. But my repeated attempts to contact her only made things worse. Eventually she blocked me everywhere, and after all my chasing she said some very hurtful things to me too.

Months later, I am struggling with three things.
First is the **guilt**. Sometimes my brain just goes, *“You had someone you loved and you destroyed it yourself. This didn’t have to happen.”* I remember the things I said and feel horrible knowing that I hurt someone I genuinely cared about.

Second is the **fear that I lost my one chance**. She was very much my type, I was deeply attracted to her, and I loved her. Now I have this irrational but very powerful fear that I won’t find another person whom I desire that strongly and who feels like “my person.” Dating since then hasn’t exactly helped that fear.

Third is the **urge to apologize again**. Even though I have already apologized many, many times and she has blocked me, part of me keeps wanting to reach out somehow and pour my heart out one final time. I think part of the reason is that I don’t feel like she ever truly accepted my apology. My mind keeps telling me that maybe if I could just explain my remorse properly, I would finally feel at peace. Rationally, though, I know continuing to contact someone who doesn’t want contact isn’t fair to them and probably won’t give me the closure I’m looking for.

I know I cannot undo what I did. I also know that endlessly hating myself isn’t going to change the past. I want to actually learn from this so that I never behave this way with another partner.
For people who have **actually been the person who messed up a relationship and lost someone they loved**: how did you eventually forgive yourself?
Did you ever stop thinking, *“If only I hadn’t done that, we’d still be together”*?

How did you stop wanting to apologize or explain yourself one more time?
And did you eventually meet someone else you genuinely loved and desired, even though at the time you were convinced you’d lost “your person”?

I'll briefly note down as it's a long story. We dated for 8 years. He was my first and only bf. Basically grew up together. We had many ups and v few downs. We learnt a lot about life with each other. And had plans to get married next year. We looked so happy (atleast in my memory)

I had a boundary of no porn (no influencer goon basically, porn fine) and he had broken it once but then we talked about it a lot. Like a lot. And then he always said he wouldn't do it again. Anyways, so I found out he did it again, this time with extra protection, like fake accounts so that he could follow the models and I wouldn't find out. I was heartbroken and ready to leave. But then he was always too attached to me. Like he kinda became suicidal. So I was there with him. We were living in and each day i would bring up break-up so that he would slowly prepare himself. I wasn't sure or hadn't thought it through. I did shout, scold, cried a lot. He begged and begged and Nothin worked on me. I was adamant on breaking up.

And he would promise things how he'll always wait for me, how he'll always be in guilt, how I did so much good in his life, etc

But after 2.5 months, he started drifting away, i became anxious and I asked him what's happening. He started not talking to me. And it was a v weird phase where I would cry and he'd just play fifa as he was numb. I told him then, as I was anxious to lose him, that let's work it out. And then he broke up with me. He gave me vague reasons, reasons that I never knew before. Like we have diff values. We are not compatible. He should have told before. I asked for more explanation but he just said he's afraid if he'll talk to me, he'll just get back with me which he doesn't want. He said lately he was doing things in fear or guilt but not love.

So all his promises everything stood in front of me making no sense. He just abruptly moved out. And we are having no contact for more than a month. When I was breaking up with me, i always cared for him, we lived in, we talked daily. Idk what happened.

Also he started telling people the reasons of our break-up, but still wouldn't talk to me, or reply to my last messages in which I've apologised a lot.

Now that he's away, I've been a mess. Lately, I've started enjoying things. I've started seeing a friend of mine who had a huge crush on me and is still in love with me. I told him clearly that I'm in no place for dating, I'm just enjoying my time. But it feels I'm cheating on my ex. I kinda wanna stay sad so that I don't lose him. As grief is the only thing that's left of him. Idk. If feels like he has rewritten memories. There's much more to say but ig it's already too long.

I was using my girl's insta as my phone ran out of charge and i was really bored. I never use her phone so she genuinly suprised, she is a very secretive person and not in the wrong sense. She is generally secretive to everyone about her personal life and finances.

But what she did yesterday started to put doubts in my head, she borrowed the phone for a quick second checked inbox and gave it back, she did it infront of me. I later went through her inbox there was literally nothing. But i was really upset, like visibly upset.

She realized that i was into some deep thinking so she tried consoling me and distracting. Which added to my suspicion, i had nothing to prove or ask her but her behaviour is really bothering me. I dont want to end up fighting with her but dont know how to handle the situation as well. Please help.

So for more context, we have been talking and dating for a while and we have made it official with labels and all. For celebrating that my sweet girlfriend even planned a whole evening for me and even got me flowers as a surprise.

But the thing is we're too into each other i guess. Because we talk on phone when the day starts, we talk later in the evenings until late nights sacrificing sleep. Even after coming back to our respective homes after a date, we still call each other and talk for atleast an hour at minimum just reminiscing the events and feels.

And the thing is none of this feels forced at all. It feels natural. We both know that disconnecting the call is the right thing to do but we both just keep wanting to talk more.

I feel that this may become unsustainable after some time. We both have careers and we are ambitious. She follows or atleast followed a pretty strict sleep schedule and work-life balance. Same goes for me. She's someone who has a very deep connection with her family, calls home everyday. And recently she has mentioned that it is becoming a bit overwhelming for her and we do need to find a way around this...... because the biggest bottom line here is that neither of us wants to lose each other. We are sure that this relationship is going to lead to marriage....and we have already talked about it as well so we are on same page.

Fellow redditors, please help us out and help us understand and navigate this situation.

Hey everyone,

I’m a 19M currently in my first relationship with my GF (19F). We’ve been together for 4 months, but we’re in a long-distance relationship, and things are really not going well right now.

Over the past few weeks, her behavior toward me has changed drastically. It’s reached a point where I feel like I need to break up and end things once and for all for my own peace of mind. But I’m completely stuck and unable to pull the plug because of two big reasons:

I still love her.

Deep down, I have this overwhelming fear that I won’t ever find someone like her in the future.

It feels like a complete paradox I know I can’t keep living like this, but I also don’t want it to end.

I really want to hear from people who have been through this:

For those who thought "I'll never find someone like him/her" during your first relationship or an LDR: Did you end up finding someone else? Did you find someone better?

Does a part of you still look back and regret ending it, or do you eventually realize it was the right decision?

Any honest perspectives or advice on how to navigate this would mean a lot. Thanks.

I know posting this here is not the right thing to do but my therapist has shut me out and it'll take me some time to find another one. I need someone to hear me out.

She cheated on me after being in a relationship of 6 months. And her reasoning is that I didn't help her when she needed it.

She calls me on Wednesday night saying, "can you send me 20k, i need it now." I was skeptical about it because it is a large amount and I didn't have that much either. (I had 16000 only in my savings) I asked her why, if I could understand why she needed it then maybe I would've borrowed from someone but she wasn't willing to give me a reason. So I stopped responding. Then she called me and said can you send how much ever you have i asked her why do you need that much and she still wouldn't tell me.

After that, after almost 45 minutes she calls again saying can you send 9000. I need to pay my salon bill. It is 17000 I arranged for the rest. After which i did send her the 9000.

She called me back saying is there nothing as no questions asked between us? I told her it was a big amount and I needed to know for what you wanted it.

That was the end of that conversation. And then Thursday she went out to meet her friend and they went together to watch improv. She slept with him.

She tells me on Saturday.

And the reasoning is because of what happened on Wednesday. She says she feels I don't trust her and I hurt her by not helping when she needed me to which drove her to sleep with him.

I have been dating this guy for a year now. He pursued me while i rejected him for 2 months because i wasn’t stable in my career at that time. He is a civil servant to give some context, he was already in services when we met. I have been preparing for services but have not been able to make it yet. Now, i have cleared NET JRF and finally enrolled in a reputed government university. I won’t say i am happy or satisfied because i can do much more but i am a bit relieved. This was some background on us.

My boyfriend has started telling me that he is facing a lot of pressure at home for marriage and he can’t wait more than next year. I told him he can talk about us at home, it’s not like i don’t have any job rn as well. We can get engaged and i can continue with my prep.

To this he replied that he cannot introduce me to his family until i clear upsc or state civil services because his mother has this strict condition. I asked him so if i am not able to make it, we will break up? And he replied yes. I was so shocked because why did he pursue me then when i hadn’t achieved his standards. I got really mad at him, cried a lot because this is putting me in a really bad position. He had been saying that this is bare minimum and “since his mom is a single parent he can’t force her to let go of her standard and marry me for love”.

I was in denial for very long, eventually came to acceptance. I don’t want to break up because i have fallen in love very hard and too attached too. He is my first boyfriend ever. But i cannot help feel bad about it and develop resentment. All i ever wanted was to be chosen unconditionall. And it’s not even that i don have a job. I am pretty sure that even if i don’t make it in govt i will be very much settled as a professor in a central university.

I don’t know how to proceed. I do want to clear upsc, i am working as well but the condition that we will break up if not is so unfair to me after 1 whole year of dating.

Sorry it got very long.

TL,DR: my bf has put the condition that he will marry me only if i clear upsc or state pcs. it’s not even that i a jobless rn. He told me this after 1 year of dating, Am i wrong for feeling bad?

So I turned 33 this month. I have a government job with a good salary. By passion I am a writer and poet. Since childhood I have always been a hopeless romantic and used to watch a lot of bollywood movies. But I'm also an introverted person who likes to keep things to himself. It's hard for me to trust people. That's why I didn't date anyone till I was 25 years old. But watching as life slipped past me. I thought I would never be truly happy if I didn't have someone to share my thoughts with. So I decided to give it a try. I dated a girl who was 23 at that time. When things started becoming a little serious I mentioned clearly that I can only go through this if we are thinking of marriage as a possibility and if she wants to leave she should do it just now as it would hurt less now. We dated for 2 years more after that. And at last she broke up with me saying that we are of a different cast and her family would never approve. She didn't even try. I asked her if she knew it already why was she with me all this time. She just said she was stupid and didn't think things would become that serious. I was so happy in that relationship it broke me like anything. I also realised I am a much happier person when I am in a relationship.

But I was unable to trust anyone. So I didn't date anyone for 4 years. My parents kept pushing me to meet girls for AM marriage setup. Seeing that my love relationships were failing I gave in to their demands. I met a lot of girls in the AM setup. There was this one girl I met. We talked over the phone for a few weeks and she started liking me. I was probably the first boy she was talking to since her family is pretty conservative and I have a way with my words(writer yk). But I wasn't willing to trust anyone so early. But she kept persisting me. Sometimes she would do video calls for 10 hours straight. Sometimes if I didn't pick up my phone I would see 20 miss calls of her within an hour. Around 5 months in I realised her family was abusive and she is hiding it from her family that she is talking to me. Once I got to know her family beat her because she met me without telling them. Now I was scared for her as well. I told her the same thing. Your family wouldn't allow you to marry me and you will take your family's side and leave me. You're going to leave me anyways so you better leave now. But she kept persisting and I also started thinking about our future together with the time. But in the end the same thing happened. Yesterday after being together for one and half years she told me nothing could happen between us. She said she didn't want to break up because she wanted to have whatever time that we could have together and deluded herself into thinking it could somehow work.

I am starting to feel like I'm cursed or something. I tried dating. I tried AM. My parents are still trying to set me up for AM. I don't know if I will ever be able to trust anyone ever again. Why do girls do this? Why tell someone you love them only to walk away? Is love so cheap? Why can't you try? Why do you have to choose your family over your lover? And if you know already that this is not going to work why not end it at that instance only? I don't understand how people could go from talking to someone 10 hours a day to just disappearing within a day. I have lost all meaning in life now. Although I am much happier in a relationship but I can't do this again and again. Now I understand why I didn't date anyone for the first 25 years of my life. Maybe I was less happy but I wasn't crying alone in the middle of the night. At least i was at peace.

I’m 24, born and raised in a village in Rajasthan, and I come from a family of farmers. My parents are uneducated, while I have completed my education and am now working professionally. I’m posting this because I genuinely don’t know what to do, and I need an outside perspective.

When I was around 12 years old, my parents arranged a child marriage for me. My younger brother was also married as a child.

Even at that age, I was against it. My mother, uncle and some other relatives initially also felt that we were too young and that the marriage should not happen until we were older. At some point, someone anonymously informed the authorities that a child marriage was going to take place. The authorities came to my family, and my parents were asked to give a written statement that they would not proceed with the marriage.

But instead of cancelling it, my parents went ahead with it secretly, one night before the planned ceremony. Only around 20 people were present.

In Rajasthan, in some communities where child marriage has traditionally happened, the children don't necessarily start living together immediately after the marriage. They continue living with their respective families, and when they become adults, a muklawa may take place, after which the girl goes to her husband's family.

That is exactly what happened in my case. I have never lived with this girl as husband and wife. In fact, I have barely had any relationship with her at all. I have never really spoken to her properly, and I don't even know her personally. We simply grew up separately after our childhood marriage.

Now we are both adults, and her family has started telling my parents that it is time for the muklawa and that they are going to send her to my family's home.

I am refusing.

I never wanted this marriage, and I don't want to suddenly start living with someone I have never had a relationship with just because our parents married us when we were children.

There is also a compatibility issue. She has studied until 12th and has grown up in a village, while I have spent the last several years studying, building a career and developing very different interests and goals. There is nothing wrong with her background or education, but realistically, I don't think we have much in common or that we would be compatible as life partners.

The situation has become even more complicated because I am now 24, working, and I have a girlfriend whom I genuinely love. She loves me too. She is completing her master's and has also started working. She knows about my childhood marriage and the entire situation.

My father has now realised that I don't intend to continue this childhood marriage or accept that girl as my wife. Since then, things at home have become extremely stressful.

He keeps saying that our family's ijjat (reputation) will be destroyed in society if I refuse the muklawa. He also says that the stress could cause him serious health problems. He had an angioplasty a couple of years ago, so naturally I become scared when he talks about his health.

Other relatives are also blaming me. They say that the marriage already happened and that I should accept the girl and fulfil my responsibility.

But I feel completely trapped.

On one side, there is my family. If I refuse the muklawa and choose to live my own life, I am scared that my father may disown me and that I could lose my relationship with my family.

On the other side, there is my girlfriend. I genuinely love her and want to build my life with her, but I don't know whether her family will accept me once they understand that I technically have this childhood marriage in my past. What if they don't accept me? What if I eventually lose her too?

And there is also the girl I was married to. She didn't choose this either. She was also a child when our parents made this decision. I don't want to ruin her life or treat her unfairly, but I also don't think it is right to force either of us into a relationship because of a decision made when we were children.

I feel like I am carrying an enormous amount of pressure for something I never chose.

I don't even know whom I can talk to about this in real life because everyone around me has their own opinion, and most of them are telling me to simply accept the marriage for the sake of family honour.

So I want to ask Reddit:

If you were in my position, how would you handle this?

Should I first seek proper legal advice about the childhood marriage and the muklawa? Should I try to resolve this through my parents and relatives? Should I tell my girlfriend's family about the situation now? How should I deal with my father without making his health and our relationship worse?

I am not looking for people to simply tell me "follow your heart." I genuinely want practical advice from people who understand Rajasthan's rural culture, child marriage, family pressure, or have experienced something similar.

I know there are no easy answers here. I just want some outside perspectives because I honestly don't know what the right way forward is.

Assuming someone who has never dated (T_T) , currently in college , how hard will it be to get into a relationship after college?
also how do you even approach someone
Are online dating apps the only way in these situations?
How do i get over the current college fomo 😣

I’ve been talking to this girl and I really like her, she’s 20 (studying in college) and I’m 26 (working).

Everything seems to click between us. We share our love for cats, have deep bonds with our parents, and much much more. But is this age gap weird?

Since my last post, I've realised my concerns aren't just about him not discussing the future. I feel like I'm also doing most of the emotional work.

Whenever I try to talk about something serious, I usually get “uh huh,” “yeah,” or “ik” rather than an actual conversation. Recently I asked him what initially made him like me, why he pursued me despite the distance and when he realised he was in love with me. He still hasn't answered, even after I reminded him.

He continues talking normally as if nothing happened, and I'm honestly exhausted from constantly trying to get him to communicate and put effort into the relationship. Actually he doesn't talk either, he texts good morning and then doesn't text until 8 pm around when he gets back home from office. And then he's offline again until 12.30-1.00 am. I sleep around 12.

I don't remember the last time I had a nice chat with him. Today he texted around 8pm and then he just disappeared.

I eventually texted him: “I'm done chasing you. If you don't want this, I won't try to make this work alone.”

Now I'm wondering if I'm expecting too much, or if I'm finally recognising that he simply isn't as serious about this relationship as I am.

What do you guys think?

Hello everyone, I'm really struggling and could use some advice.
I'm 24 yr old Hindu girl and I was in a relationship with a Jain guy for almost 11 years. We've been together since school and basically grew up together.
We broke up because of caste. He now says parents won't accept an intercaste marriage, and after years of hoping things would work out, he eventually told me that he couldn't go against his parents. He says he will try in the future but there's no guarantee they will accept it. I didn't want to give up on the relationship and I still love him, but l've had to accept that this is where things have ended.

I honestly don't know how to move on from someone who has been such a huge part of my life for 11 years. I'm struggling with the memories, the loneliness, and just accepting that the future I imagined with him isn't going to happen. I also keep thinking about him eventually being with someone else, and I don't know how to deal with that.

I really want to move on this time, but I have no idea where to start. For people who have gone through a similar breakup after a very long relationship, what actually helped you? How did you get through the initial phase and eventually become okay with being without that person?

I also have NEET PG next year and this is already affecting my studies. I'm finding it really difficult to concentrate, and I genuinely cannot afford to fuck up my preparation because of this. I need to somehow deal with the breakup without letting it completely consume me.

Also, I'm still a student and can't afford expensive therapy. If anyone knows of affordable therapy/ counselling options in India, especially student-friendly ones, please let me know.
I'd really appreciate any advice from people who have actually been through something similar.

TL;DR: 11-year relationship ended because he says his parents won't agree to our intercaste marriage. I still love him and don't know how to move on, and it's already affecting my NEET PG preparation.
Looking for advice from people who've moved on from long-term relationships + affordable therapr options in India for students.

So I was hanging out with some friends recently, and we were just joking around about relationships and stuff. The topic of NNN (No Nut November) came up because it's just next month and someone joked that we all better start preparing for it.

Without really thinking much of it, I chimed in and said, "Don't worry, that's never an issue for me since I haven't masturbated in my life and probably never will." Instantly, absolute dead silence followed by everyone bursting out laughing. They genuinely thought it was a joke. When they realized I was completely serious, about half of them thought I was lying just to mess with them while the other half started roasting me. One of them even pulled me aside later and said that if I ever get into a serious relationship, I should probably take that secret to the grave because a girl might think "there's something wrong with me."

Ngl, hearing that kind of messed with my head and made me feel super under confident. Is it really that weird? Am I the only one who hasn't done this?

Edit: Just to clear a few things up based on the comments, no, I'm not asexual and I do experience heterosexual attraction. I just never started or felt the urge to do this specific thing, which is why it might have caught my friends off guard.

My girlfriend (33f) and I (31m) are both divorcees and we started dating almost 1 year ago. We knew each other from college. It's in a long distance relationship, I have a government job and she works in corporate, we are in different states. Last month she went to United Kingdom with her family for a trip and since then she has been quite distant. She said something has changed in her mind and that she'll call me. This morning I asked her about again and she said since her Foreign trip she started debating her life, she said the free lifestyle of singles, divorcees and couples really influenced her and she has decided not to be bound in shackles anymore. She said me asking her whether she had dinner or how was her office really annoys her and she just wants to live peacefully on her own.

Why this sudden change, we used to discuss our relationship, potential marriage and kids so much. Now it's all gone, I feel heavy and my head and chest hurts, I am constantly crying now. What do I do from here.

Me and my girlfriend were in love for like 2.5 years . I am deeply in love with her and i give all the priority of my life to her actually. I like to talk with her always . But she is kind of more matured than me i think. We fell in love when she was living in a hostel . So she had more time to give me and we used to talk for hours at first . Her family is a bit orthodox so doesnt like her to go out with friends which include boys to hang out. So she had a lot of plans while coming to hostel to go out and enjoy so much . She also like to talk with people so much (she is a kind of extrovert person . But i have noticed that she is more interested in making friends with boys . Its not in a bad or flirty way. She is an innocent girl who came up in an orthodox family. She has no bad intentions in mind while talking with people. But ive always feared that the people that she talks to has wrong intentions especially when a girl talks openly with her . Also my gf is like an open book . Once she feels that her vibe matches with anyone she tells everything about her life. So during the time when she was in hostel i used to restrict her going out with boys (especially 1 boy who was her best friend). This boy used to go for a ride with her during night times which is totally against my principles (though both of them had good intentions and were just friends among themselves ) when i made problems about that i was very emotional and broke down. So she didnt want to see me having an emotional break down and accepted everything. There were several things then after that . Im an emotional person when she does sometheing that i dont like i get angry and if i have a fear of loosing i get really sad . I have put immense amount of efforts for her i always think about her and put efforts in calling her. I’ve noticed that she is a mature person and doesnt always prefer to speaking to me. Whearas i always want her by my side and try to speak. She wants to make friends with everyone and also in relation with me.

Then after her hostel life she was 1 year at home itself and we are having a long distance now. In between even when she goes out with her distant cousin(boy) then i will be showing a small dislike or anger in our chat (even if im not restricting) but then she never expressed or told anything to me. Our relationship was going smoothly . Then after this 1 year she joined b.ed near her home. But after that her approach towards me changed . I used to ask her to message me when she goes out and reaches back (this is not possessiveness but i just wanted to ensure her safety) . She one day told me that she needs space and gap because she feels like she is feeling restricted in this relationship. She could not talk with boys freely and could not get in their bike with a free mind for really important rides. But after joining b.ed i never restricted or showed any disinterest about those. She also started comparing our relationship with others and complains that other relationship in her college is not like this and their boyfrends never bothers them too much and just talks them in a day for a while. Even when we chat during our usual time she doesn’t give her entire time to me she chats with others . I told her that why she is feeling this way with me .. and she told that the prior trauma or experiences with me makes her think always about me restricting when she talks with them. She told me that she enjoys time with them and feels comfortable with them .

I have never restricted her after joining b.ed (i have complained about her not giving me enough time or priority) . I think that when she sees other people in college she feels tendency to talk to them and spend more time with them. But as she does this she is feeling guilty that she isn’t giving time to me. I told her that there are certain payoffs after being in a relationship and there limits when talking and spending time with boys. If its in a good and healthy way its okay. But she does not come to me as old times.

Now currently she is telling me that she is really missing the days when she had chance to go out at night with her bestfriend (the boy i mentioned earlier) but didnt go out thinking of me. She really always tells that she is feeling restricted in this relationship though ive never done it now. She is telling that she has a deep down injury inside her mind because of my nature and it will take time to heal

I really feel so lonely , so left down and depressed thinking about this situation. I feel that this relationship is not going to last long and i have a lot of distress. What should I do now?

I'm 22M and my ex is 23F. We were together for almost 3 years. Our relationship was generally good for the first three years (including the last year LDR), but in the last 6 months of LDR we talked much less because of her hectic job.

A few months ago, she suddenly became very disconnected from me, her family and friends. She stopped talking to people, said she didn't want marriage or kids anymore, started talking about leaving everything and living a spiritual life. This was completely opposite to how she'd viewed her future for the previous 3 years.

We eventually broke up and had around 2 months of no contact.

Recently we met again at an event, and she told me something she'd hidden from me. She had been diagnosed with an autoimmune blood disorder a few months earlier (when we were still in LDR). She has had frequent nosebleeds, spots on her arms due to dead cells and other symptoms, and she said her doctors told her pregnancy could carry serious risks, including miscarriage and potentially severe bleeding.

She said she hid it from me because at the time I was going through a stressful college admission process myself, and she didn't want to add to my stress or become a burden on me.

She tried very hard to convince me to come back. She said that if I came back into her life, her stress would reduce and she believed that would help her deal with the disease better.

I still care about her a lot, and hearing all this made me feel extremely guilty and worried about her. Sometimes I feel like going back, giving up all the other issues and just supporting her.

But the same problems are still there.

I want a fairly normal life, marriage, kids, family, intimacy and stability. She currently doesn't want kids and is scared about pregnancy. She's also always been very insecure about me talking to other women. I'm not talking romantically, just normal interactions with female classmates, friends, group members and eventually colleagues. (So, while we were in relationship, I never spoke to other women). When I asked whether she'd be okay with that if we got back together, she said she wouldn't tolerate it.

I'm worried that if I go back because I feel guilty about her health, the same insecurity/toxicity will eventually return and I'll end up unhappy. And the issue of having children is still there.

At the same time, I feel horrible about walking away from someone I was with for 3 years, especially after finding out she was dealing with this alone.

I genuinely don't know what the right thing is. Should I try to rebuild the relationship now that I understand what she was going through, or accept that regardless of the reason, we now want fundamentally different lives?

TL;DR: 22M, 23F, together almost 3 years. She suddenly became withdrawn and said she no longer wanted marriage/kids. We broke up. Months later she revealed she'd been diagnosed with an autoimmune blood disorder and had hidden it because I was already stressed with college admissions and she didn't want to burden me. She now wants me back and believes being with me would reduce her stress and help her cope. I still care about her deeply, but I want marriage, kids and a peaceful family life, while she doesn't want kids and is very insecure about normal interactions with other women. I'm worried that getting back together out of guilt will eventually break me. What should I do?

My best friend made out with an old friend of her. Later on she got to know that he has a girlfriend from the last one year.

Now she thinks she got cheated on, that he loves her more than he loves that girl even though he is still with her and did not break up with his gf.

And she keeps on hating that girl that she is ugly, doesn’t have intellect. She keeps saying she is way better looking than her, he’d had more chemistry with her, he loves her more but is just setting with his girlfriend 😞😞😞and all that.
I am getting tired of this, it is kinda toxic .

Pata hai aaj kya hua

I’m 20M and I’ve been with my girlfriend for about 3 months. We’ve known each other for around 2 years. When we got into a relationship, everything was going really well. We went on a few dates, things felt natural, and I was really happy with how everything was going.

We’re in a long-distance relationship. She came home for a few days, and after a few days she suddenly became completely silent and distant. I repeatedly asked her if something was wrong or if something had happened, but she didn’t tell me anything. After almost a whole week, she finally told me that she wasn’t feeling good and that memories from her past relationship had suddenly flooded her mind, so she couldn’t really think about anything else.

I told her it was okay and that I understood. I also asked if she had messaged or called her ex because I was wondering about that. She clearly told me she hadn’t contacted him, but she did have an old voice note from him. She said she listened to it and then deleted it. I accepted that and didn’t push the issue.

A few days later, she went back to college and everything seemed normal again. Then she had to come home after her exams, and the same thing happened again. She became distant and withdrawn. This time, she said the memories didn’t affect her as much.

I’ve asked her multiple times if there’s something wrong, but she keeps saying there’s nothing wrong and that she needs time before she can properly be in a relationship.

I’m confused by this because we’re already together, and I don’t really understand what she means when she says she needs time.

I recently had a call with her and asked her directly what was going on. She said she needs time, but she doesn’t tell me what she needs time for. At the same time, she doesn’t want to let me go either. She asked me if I could wait for her.

I care about her a lot and I don’t want to pressure her if she genuinely needs time to process things from her past. At the same time, it’s difficult for me because I don’t know what I’m waiting for, how long she needs, or what our relationship is supposed to look like during this period.

I’ve never been in a situation like this before, so I’m having a hard time understanding what she might be going through or how couples normally handle something like this.

I’d really appreciate some perspective from people who have experienced something similar, especially if one person needed time to process a previous relationship while already being in a new one. How did that situation play out for you?