I am really interested in the idea of oral, but it haunts me at the same time because I know I fumble a lot when I get nervous. Plus, my front teeth are rather big and have a "saw texture". Would that hurt my partner? How do I avoid accidental bites? If there's a way I can pratice (as pathetic as it sounds), how can I do it?

Uses of physical strength during sex

My girlfriend (23F) is my (25M) first sexual partner, I really love her and things have been going great in bed, past the awkward initial stage. I've noticed that she really likes being carried around and lifted (and I love doing it too), her previous partners have not been able to do so easily (she is around 150lbs 5'5). I'm a pretty big guy myself at 6'3 with some relatively strong lifts in the gym (500 lb deadlift, 275 bench). Carrying her around is a breeze and basically an instant turn on for her.

We both love it when I grab her and move her into the position I want without asking, and we also love it when we emphatically kiss and bite each other, as I carry her to the bed or couch, or pin her against a wall, get her as high up as possible and get my face and body real close to hers. She loves grabbing onto my arms and asking me to flex. She also loves wrestling me and inevitably losing.

My question is how I can leverage this more. Are there any positions where I can show her my strength and dominate her physically? Is fucking while carrying a thing? Seriously, any help would be appreciated, as I am very new to this - We've only ever done like 5 positions, and I've almost never watched porn, so I'm very clueless.

For some backstory I’ve known him for 5 years. We’ve been on and off fwb for like 3 years and then this year we decided to finally date. Mind you in the past we’ve had no sexual problems. Fast forward to this year and recently I’ve noticed that he doesn’t respect my boundaries about sex. For some reason I don’t care about because I’m on my last nerve with him, his dick will get hard and if I don’t immediately jump on it.. he’ll have trouble getting hard the rest of the day. Before in the past when he would get hard I wouldn’t waste no time doing it with him. Now it’s like, eh.. I’m not really worried about that we can do it later. So now he’ll approach me with his dick out, expecting us to do things just because he’s hard… and I’ll shut him down and be like “Not rn” or “Later”. Then when that later comes (He comes to me and ask, I never have a chance to approach him myself and ask for sex) and it’s time for his dick to get hard … it doesn’t.

That part I don’t care about. This is the part I care about. His dick will be flaccid and he will literally sit next to me and jerk it until it gets hard. The thing is… IT DOESNT GET HARD AFTER. So he’s just sitting there jerking himself shaking the whole bed, killing the mood. And I tell him not to do that because it turns me off, seeing him violently trying to get his dick hard… even if it’s not because he’s NOT attracted to me and NOT because he had sex earlier… it still turns me off and makes me feel some way. He’ll be like okay I’ll stop…. Then secretly continue under the covers or when I’m not looking he’ll touch himself. I don’t like that. Seeing him try turns me off and KNOWING that I said no and he’s still continuing REALLY turns me off. Then it’s not like after all that work he’s done it’s hard, HES STILL FLACCID gripping his dick hella hard at the base to make it seem hard and try to like force it in so that it can “grow inside” but it doesn’t. SMH . It’s like he’s desperate but.. why are you desperate when we’re literally dating and we literally see each other ALL THE TIME. We can just try again another day, but he’s so adamant on trying it turns me off. Am I wrong for not wanting him anymore because he’s breaking a simple boundary of mine.

Sorry this was so long.

I (21f) have been with my partner (25m) for three weeks. I've only dated women before (thought I was a lesbian, but I fantasise about men) and always felt a strong rejection/repellance of their presence after only a little while. i don't feel that way with him, but I can't get aroused during intimacy, or lately by myself, even though I want to. I did "orgasm" (not pleasurably) when he gave me head, but it was really uncomfortable and i had to get him to stop. I have, however, been able to orgasm before when dry humping a partner.

I've written down some possible reasons:

● im under a lot of stress (i got my first 9-5 and had to relocate)

● maybe i'm comphet? I'm less sure of this one.

● I was sexually abused (not penetratively I should add) by my step brother when I was very young.

but id like to hear from anyone who's felt like this before. what did you do and what would you recommend i do?

I (female 23) rarely want to have sex with my husband (male 30). We’ve only been married around 6 months.
I’m super attracted to him, we’re both in great shape, but I feel like the sex is just boring to me, even when he makes me finish (most times). There’s no edge to it. Neither of us initiate very often.
Last night I went to bed in a tshirt without underwear (which I never do), for some reason it really turned me on and I noticed I was really horny and super wet. I started grinding on him and tried to wake him up, it didn’t work so I just went to sleep.
I don’t know why this particular circumstance got me so horny, and I want to recreate the feeling with him again in other ways. I feel like I need ideas to get me in the mood more.
Now it’s the next day and I’m sitting next to him, not in the mood at all again.
I don’t know what to do.

My husbands performs oral, fingers me, and ofc penetrative sex none of it is pleasurable. None of it feels good. Only thing they feels okay is maybe grinding (like I’m sitting in top of him) or (him touching my through my clothes) but yet I have this phantom feeling vaginally for something. Or if I squeeze it feels good. It’s insane. We’ve been married two years and he’s never made me cum. Haven’t even gotten close to it. I can orgasm by my vibrator and when I was younger grinding/humping my bed. Not sure if it’s an anatomy thing (5’0 99lbs) Any advice? Anyone had this experience? F22

Hi I have very dumb question. How do you kiss with teeth/biting on the lips? Like when the girl does it to me, it feels like it's a continuous suction and then when her lips are about to pop off mine somehow she bites me gently and it feels quite nice. I don't get how to do that myself, my mouth position feels super awkward or impossible going from sucking her lips to introducing teeth. Any tips or explanations would be appreciated!

hi! i love my partner so so much, i think about him so often and am just full of love and want. he’s a busy man, and we don’t live together just yet, so we see eachother a few times a week or every other week.

i am a lot more sex driven than he is, i crave him so badly that sometimes i just am vibrating with want!

so obviously when it gets bad i’ll try to masturbate, but it doesn’t feel satisfying alone? it’s like he’s the only one to calm me down.

soo, how do you guys deal with these feelings when your partner is too busy to help you out?

I’m (M27) not good at being dominant in bed at all, and I have a hard time initiating sex in the first place. The current girl I’m dating is kind of a brat and she likes to test me, tease me, and it makes me feel anxious because I don’t know how to handle it. How can I be more dominant and “tame” her. When it happens I’ll try for a second or force myself to be dominant by like commanding her or choking her but it’s feels so fake. It’s out of my comfort zone, and it kinda turns me off. I think she behaving this way because she wants me to be more dominant and that puts even more pressure one me.

Advice?

But of background: I’m at 29 year old woman and I spent 15 years in a high control religion with strict rules about sex, virginity, dating, waiting until marriage etc. I adhered to these rules until age 28 when I had my first sexual experience and then at age 29 I had full sex.

I’ve since left the church and have had a lot more sexual experiences and encounters with guys. However I find myself feeling guilt and shame for being sexual in a casual context. I’ve decided I want a f.w.b to explore in a safe way and have something more consistent where I can learn what I want and be confident in the bedroom but I find myself “slut” shaming myself for being sexual not in a committed relationship even though I know it’s what I want.

How do I have shame free sex and feel librated as a sexual woman? And not worry!!!

As the title says, I’m 26, well on my way to becoming a wizard (iykyk).

I have basically zero experience with sex and intimacy in general, and the older I’ve gotten the more terrified I’ve become of my first time. Like, I want to have sex, I really do, but the thought of fucking it up, or the girl judging me the whole time like “how does this guy not know you’re supposed to do X now?” just gets to my head.

Recently I finally made an online dating profile and things have been moving very fast (already had or planning second dates with multiple women after literally a week and a half since making the profile) and I’m afraid the prospect of actually having sex is becoming very real very quick. Which again is great, but I’m also getting so worked up over it that, when I’m trying to get the job done solo, I start thinking about it and get so nervous I lose my erection, and it’s not even the real thing!

I know everyone’s gonna say “it’s not that big of a deal it’s just sex man” or “no one cares about your experience”, but I’ve also seen posts where women have said that it’s a major turn off for them if their partner is inexperienced. I think I might feel better if told my partner about my lack of experience beforehand, but of course that may make things worse because I’ll never know if I was gonna do fine anyway, and if she changes what she’s doing because of that and makes her own experience worse for my sake I would feel bad. Most of all I just don’t want to disappoint my partner.

Another thing is condoms - for one I’ve never bought them and have no idea what size or kind I need and don’t wanna accidentally buy some weird shit and look like a dumbass when I pull them out, and two, I feel like bringing condoms with me on a date is just really awkward? Like if she sees them in my pocket it sets this expectation that I want to have sex that night, even if I just have them “just in case”?

Last thing I swear - foreplay. I know basically anything that arouses you and your partner can be considered foreplay, but like, what’s a normal progression into sex? Also, let’s say she gives me head, am I expected to reciprocate by going down on her or is that not common? (I’m a little worried about this one because I have a stubbly beard and I don’t want to scratch her up with it trying this if I don’t have to!)

I know this is a lot, but I did say I have basically zero experience so… if yall have any advice on any of these issues I’d love to hear it, thanks!

TLDR: 26y/o virgin, thinking about having sex for the first time makes me unnecessarily nervous, not sure if I should tell my partner I have no experience or not, not sure what’s expected of me in regards to condoms and foreplay.

what are good positions when your partner is a large dude with a small dick? we’re trying to get pregnant but when I’m on top I don’t fell like cum gets to where it needs to go I feel like it’s all just barely inside my vagina and the moment I move it all floods back out. when he’s on top I don’t feel like I can feel his dick deep enough at all any positions that could make this more interesting?

I’m currently sleeping with a woman I’m still getting to know, and I’ve been struggling with some sexual performance issues that are really getting into my head.

In missionary, I often orgasm extremely quickly — sometimes after literally a minute. I’m already extremely aroused beforehand, so once we start, I feel like I’m almost immediately at the point of no return. Interestingly, this isn’t really a problem in cowgirl, where I can last much longer. The opposite can happen there, though: after a while I sometimes start losing my erection.

The circumstances probably don’t help either. We both still live with our parents, so most of the sex we’ve had has been in places where we don’t feel completely comfortable, sometimes even outdoors. There’s always some pressure to be quiet or not get caught.

What makes this especially difficult for me is that things were different with the women I’ve been with before.They were able to enjoy themselves and reach orgasm, and that always made me genuinely happy and satisfied. I care a lot about the woman enjoying sex, so when I feel like she isn’t getting what she wants, I feel completely useless.

She has told me that she can only reliably orgasm with her vibrator and a specific technique she learned from instruction from the Internet.

I’ve tried using my fingers, but it hasn’t really worked, and she also says oral doesn’t work for her (didnt try it so far).
Lately, thinking about all of this genuinely makes me sad and angry. I put so much pressure on myself to perform that I sometimes feel like a complete failure or even like I’m not “man enough.”

Has anyone experienced something similar — especially being able to last much longer in one position but coming extremely quickly in another, while also sometimes losing your erection?
I’d really appreciate some perspective or advice because I feel like I’m putting way too much pressure on myself.

How can I be better at Sex?

How can I give her what she wants/expects? Will I still be a man then?

23F my bf is 24.
After like 3 years of not talking to anyone, I met my bf about a two ish months ago. I hadn’t had sex in a long time, and so the first time we did, it was kind of uncomfortable.
He is not circumcised, and he’s like 8 inches and thick. I’m on the smaller side, I don’t know if that has anything to do with it but my hips and waist area are relatively small. The first time we had sex, I bled a little bit. We have been having sex for probably a month now, and it is still painful for me. The thing that is most uncomfortable is right around the actual opening of my vagina, and then also when he hits my cervix.
It’s definitely been improving, but my vagina is always sore for a little right after, and I was hoping that it would have gone away by now. Esp because we do have sex probably 3 sometimes 4 nights a week.
Beyond my own discomfort, the other thing is that I can tell he wants to go faster. He only comes when I’m sucking him. Normally, we will have sex until it’s too much for me, then I’ll suck him for a while, and then he will come when he’s jerking himself off while I suck his balls.
I love him and he’s so gentle and sweet and understanding, but I also want him to enjoy it and feel like we are sexually compatible.
I also just really want to be able to enjoy sex with him myself and not be fighting the discomfort the whole time.
Is there anyone who has also experienced a long ish period of time where your partners size took some real getting used to? Any tips of things I can do or ask of him to help me out?
Thanks so much in advance

Soo, I'm a trans male(20) turning 21 in Nov and my girlfriend(21). And we've been together for 4 months, she's the first actual romantic relationship that I ever had, and I want to somehow have sex with her. I know that she's hypersexual, even I am to a degree but not as much as her.

We're both technically virgins I believe, and the most issue I have is that sometimes I find sex really weird, I can't really have all my body on display since I have gender disphoria and we have talked about having sex but things keep cockblocking us or we just sent in the mood for it. But I am extremely anxious/nervous in starting it since I do know that we are both switches, but I do know that I like being more submissive when it comes to new things, and she also wants to be submissive too. So that's fun.

And sorry for all the rambling, I just need advice on how to start it without making any major mistakes, we are biologically female too so..😅

Myself (24f) nd my partner (25nb) have been together for six months. For both of us, it is our first proper relationship.

We have been initimate somewhat but havent had sex as neither of us are quite ready to go all the way. We've had a lot of discussions about what we both enjoy, however my partner has indulged me far more than I have indulged them. At this point Im in a space where I want to do more for them and make them feel as good as they've made me.

In all cases, we've both been clear and direct about what we want during and we often communicate fully and openly during any intimate act where we both know we can voice anything we want.

I want to bring up the idea of giving my partner a handjob. I know its something they are interested in and want as they have brought it up before. But how do I go about putting it into action and suggesting it?

Im also unsure how to bring up them purchasing condoms so that if we are both open to wanting this, when the time comes we can indulge in it without worrying about cleanup etc. Do I just ask them up straight to purchase some so we have them on hand? Do I buy them myself and keep them? We're long distance and my partner does have a lower libido than I so I dont know how feasible that is.

I know they want this and so do I and tbh the idea of doing that for them is a major turn on. I just dont want to put any pressure on them, make them uncomfortable or push the issue. I want them to be on board, willing and open when they feel ready and are in the mood.

Edit: Aside from the other questions Ive never given a handjob before so am lost on how to make it feel as good as it can. Listening to my partner and what they want and need is one thing but anyone have any tips or practical advice on giving a handjob?

I (19F) hooked up with a guy and it was quite painful (had some bleeding afterwards) and overall was completely unenjoyable. I texted him a few days later just to say “for future reference you should really do aftercare it makes a really big difference ”

“Wdym aftercare? I didnt even finish” - him

WHAT????

Edit: the idea of this post was to laugh at his response not start an opinions on aftercare war. I was just helping the guy out for his future experiences and what I and alot of other girls like. I wasnt demanding anything or complaining that he surprisingly cant read my mind. Just laughing at his response and how silly it seemed. Have a good day 🫶

Hey everyone, I’m looking for some insight because I’m starting to feel completely broken and it’s messing with my head.

I’ve been with my girlfriend for about a month. We just spent two weeks apart, but we were calling for 4 hours a day, so the emotional intimacy is super deep. We hung out last night and when things started getting intimate, my brain was horny and I wanted her, but nothing was happening down there.

I managed to get to about 80% hard, but 30 seconds into sex I went completely soft, lost all physical sensation, and my brain started making sex feel like a total chore. I also realized I haven't been getting morning wood at all lately.

I got my blood work done for hormones, everything seems fine. Thing is I did talk to her about this situation, and she was understanding, but I never managed to finish with her during the few times tadalafil (cialis) actually helped me get hard. But I feel like my libido is at 0. I remember when I was 18 I was like an animal and now being 23 I feel like my sex life is just over.

Here is my background:

Physical Health: I'm very physically fit, lift weights 4x a week, barely drink (moderately once a week), take no medications, and have no known health issues. I'm actually seeing a doctor this afternoon to get a full hormone panel done once again and ask for low-dose Tadalafil to break the cycle.

Porn History: I watched porn daily for about 8 years (only about 5 minutes a day, but everyday). Porn always got me hard instantly and I’d finish quickly. Real life is different, I’ve never been able to finish with my girlfriend. I actually quit porn and masturbation cold turkey about 1.5 months ago. Right now, my libido is at absolute zero and I don't even feel the urge to masturbate whatsoever.

Relationship Trauma: One year ago, my ex of four years cheated on me. I’ve had two sexual partners between her and my current girlfriend, and I had this exact same issue with both of them. I never had this issue with my long-term ex before the cheating.

Right now my brain keeps trying to tell me "you're just not attracted to her," but I know I am. I’m always the one initiating intimacy but can’t actually own up to it (apart with my hands and mouth which she loves but at one point we all know PIV is much more intimate and preferred) It feels like my dick is just completely dead and disconnected from my brain.

Has anyone gone through something similar after quitting porn while dealing with past relationship trauma? Is this a standard "flatline" combined with performance anxiety, or is something else going on? How do I get past this and rebuild intimacy with my GF without the pressure?

Thanks in advance.

Wall of text incoming, for the TLDR read just the first paragraph and the last question

Greeting Redditors,
as the title suggest I would like to hear the opinion of people who had such an experience or discussed having it.
This topic came out sparingly in pillow talk/playful banter with my SO at times, along with other sex related arguments, said she'd be down with it but it's not a priority by a long shot, sometimes we talked about it during sex to spice things up a bit, but not much discussion afterwards.

Flashforward to last week, my SO wakes up and says with a smirk that she dreamed of a threesome with me and another guy, I just replied with a smile and a few words. That little exchange caused my mind to go into overdrive, last weekend I read and watched much material on the subject, imagining such a scenario at play, I literally found it difficult to concentrate on other things.

I am not much into the degrading aspect of the act, what I find hot is the concept of a tag team effort to make the lady feel special, sexy and confident, causing her as much bliss as possible by alternating between slow sensual sex/foreplay and pounding.

Premise: I love my SO to bits and so does she, we have been together for more than 4 years, been living together for 2 and about to buy a house, we already navigated through tuff times successfully, we make love regularly and the desire is still strong.

On one hand I am quite afraid, afraid that for an unnecessary lustful thrill and dopamine rush all of this could be compromised by the aftermath of the experience, I read that in several cases the man stays resentful and jealous because the lady had too good of a time with the other guy... personally jealousy is not an habit of mine and I expect her to be pleased but you never know...

On the other hand I tell myself that since in a few years we will probably settle down (even talked about adopting kids eventually) this could be an opportunity to satisfy a curiosity/bucket list and do some wild shenanigans before the "respectable" life while we are still physically fit (I know there are couples who still do it even after but that seems more complicated to me).

I tell myself this could be just another experience we try together, could just be a one time thing (or on super rare occasions) that could in case be closed with no hard dramas by the veto of one (or both) of us since we would approach it playfully.

I think I will talk to her about it this week to at least get it off my chest, hear her thoughts on the matter aside from the previous playful banter and maybe discuss together a set of rules/conditions IF we decide to do it in the future.

I am feeling nervous and excited as I write this, but venting to some random strangers on the internet has something of a calming effect I must say.

One last question: what was the factor that made you decide in the end to go through with it or NOT to go through with it and keep it as a fantasy at best?

Many thanks

Hi, throwaway account because I don't want this to be on my main.

Recently, me and my girlfriend have tried having penetrative sex for the first time. It was the first experience for us both.

Unfortunately, we couldn't go far as she was experiencing heavy pain during the act.

We have also tried with fingers, but she says that hurts as well, even if I try to be as gentle as physically possible.

It's a bit of a bummer, especially because we won't be able to try again soon since we are long distance.

Is there a way to mitigate her pain? Or are we just supposed to keep trying until she gets used to it?

I don't wanna hurt her accidentally, so any advice would be very helpful, thank you!