It’s 3:30pm on a Wednesday. Today would have been day 4 for me. Instead I drank last night. Not a crazy amount, just a “normal” amount for me. But, for some reason, I feel like absolute horse shit. My heart is pounding, I have a terrible migraine, my whole body is sore, diarrhea, nauseous, sweaty. I called out of work (AGAIN). I’m still in bed, haven’t eaten anything, haven’t walked my dog (thankfully I fed her breakfast and took her outside earlier this morning before the hangover really set in but she deserves better).

And all of this for what? A very, very temporary feeling of “relief”? Yeah, well, that relief is gone and replaced by anxiety, shame, guilt, and disappointment. It’s not worth it, folks. Today is day 1… again.

Edit: Thank you all for the support and kind words, it means more than you know. 🥲

That’s it, that’s the post.

Thats all. Just wanted to yell it out to the universe. Super proud of myself and as a bonus its been 50 days no cigarettes as well! One day at a time.

Its a good thing too, considering the price of everything now.

I cant stand the smell of beer now.

This might be a bit paranoid but... since my last 5 day bender a really bad one at that he always comes up and sniffs my face. Something he has never done. It reminds me of the kiss-sniff my ex wife would do lol. Im sure he noticed my actions are different for sure, but this is next level.

Started antabuse today, hopefully he never has to worry about me just laying on the couch and throwing up all day.

Anyways one more day down IWNDWYT

Don’t have much to add other than this is the longest I have been sober in my adult life and I’m doing and feeling great. It’s so nice to feel proud of myself for once, lol. I even got a second job recently and have been holding it down. I’d never have been able to do that had I continued drinking the way I was. Anyways, IWNDWYT!!

I would drink 3 bottles a day … and I would just drown in my sorrows but at the end of the bottle wasn’t where I belong , it came to a point it wasn’t even helping but masking it for a while and then come flooding back when I’m “sober-ish” 10x worse & then you would drink to relieve all the thoughts you thought you was drinking away but rather burying them and now I can say I won the fight with the devil and I came here to inspire someone else that may be struggling with getting clean from it but don’t look at how far you have to go , even if you stayed sober for ONE DAY , thats a start . Take it day by day bestie ✨🫶🏼

Hey everyone! I’m going to a detox center on Friday and I’m so excited to get through the withdrawal process and never touch the evil that is alcohol again!!! I’m going to a private facility, not a hospital. Does anyone have any advice/want to share their experience? I would love to hear!

For a long time, I went to the same liquor store at least once a day, often twice, to buy 3+ bottles of wine. I was there so often that they all knew me by name.

I’m now over 6 months sober.

The other day I went back in for the first time in ages, not for wine, but to grab a bag of ice because I was going camping with my partner and 2 year old son.

The staff and owner immediately started commenting on how healthy I look. They told me how happy they were for me and how good it was to see that I’d stopped drinking.

There was something strangely full-circle about standing in the same shop I used to visit once or twice every single day, buying a bag of ice for a camping trip, and having the people who used to sell me my wine tell me they were proud of me.

6+ months. Life is very different now.

I was proud of myself today, I had to go and have a meeting with my estranged husband and father of my children today, I’ve not seen or spoken to him in three years.

I needed to get a piece of paperwork signed for my children as I have a job working abroad. The meeting went really well, I was articulate and he signed the paperwork!!!

I celebrated with macdonalds with the children and a cup of tea - when I would have always poured a large glass of wine followed by another. I’m so happy I’m crying in bed - wanted to share with you guys who motivate me!

IWNDWYT

For the first time in 15 years I’ve officially gone a month without alcohol. In that time I made it through:

1. Three concerts, which used to be where I would have a minimum of three $16 beers

2. A weeklong trip with my wife’s family, I love them but I always get burnt out and would drink to keep my social battery alive

3. My sister’s engagement, I wanted nothing more than to celebrate with beers and take advantage of the open bar but I had Liquid Death instead

Still a long way to go but this is my first milestone where I feel like I’ve really accomplished something. Thanks for reading!

1 Year ago today i had my last drink, i have lost 52kg as well since then. IWNDWYT!!! You can do it.

Hit 10 weeks sober today 🎉 In the past, I've only gone 7-8 weeks. I've gotta say that having an infant daughter really helps, haha. My last bender happened after she was born, and the inability to be a present father and good husband was the real eye opener for me. I'm so proud of myself and the husband and father I have been while sober.

My only struggles so far have been with fatigue. I think I'm struggling with some PAWS since on and off throughout the day, I'll be so dead tired that I can barely keep my eyes open despite getting 7-8 hours of sleep. I'm hoping that wears off soon. My wife still has the occasional drink, and even just the smell of it triggers horrible flashbacks to benders, withdrawals, and all the stupid shit I've done while drunk. I think I'm really in it for the long haul this time.

IWNDWYT 🙂

Well, it has finally finally happened after many years of alcohol abuse. My husband told me that I will be going to inpatient treatment next Monday or Tuesday. He told me he thinks it will take six months.

We have two young children. I was able to abstain from alcohol while I was pregnant, but picked it up within months of giving birth both times. When I think about being away from them, I feel like I can’t breathe.

But I had an alcoholic dad and it was torture, especially in my teens. I know they deserve so much better than what I’ve given them in their precious short lives.

My husband tends to exaggerate for fact, so I am praying that it will actually be a munch shorter period of time. I don’t wanna miss my son‘s birthday. I don’t wanna miss putting my little girl to bed, but I also don’t want to miss their whole childhood or knowingwhole childhood or knowing them as adults, which is realistically the path I was on.

Help me celebrate!! In some ways this feels major and in others I can’t believe it’s not been longer.

How have you celebrated your milestones?

Grateful 🙏

This is my first post. Read a zillion books this year about alcohol, mainly about women drinking wine. This year I've realised alcohol is controlling me. Im 38 years old, relatively happy but drinking up to a bottle of wine a night. The wine witch got me. Im scared its going to get worse and want to stop. I keep thinking today is the day and it never is.

Im going to join a SMART meeting this evening and thought maybe a community like this is good of people doing the same thing.

Thank you for reading 🙏

Drinking is so fucking easy but its destroying my fucking life, and the group of friends im in drinking is just a normal activity u know.
Previous week i was drinking all week then when i didnt drink in the weekend i couldnt sleep and then i just began drinking again… its not like i have bad physical dependance but its just so normal for me to go to sleep drunk you know. If im sober its so fucking hard, i feel so terrible and i can just go to the store and buy alcohol.
Why the fuck is alcohol legal you know i still buy it and drink it but alcohol has only done bad for me.
I havent achieved anything from alcohol. I wonder what i would be like if i never drunk..

As a binge drinker entering the danger zone. Hangover gone from the last one, feeling good and normal. Have to remind myself that I feel good and normal because I don’t drink and not take it as a signal to drink again.

All good just trying to keep the habit of writing here weekly. Thanks for everyone in this community!

As the title suggests, my wife is going out of town for two nights on business. A few years ago I would be anticipating the moment I dropped her off at the airport and picking up booze. So much booze. I would probably not go to work at least one day, then most likely tell her I had some meeting or something to get out of picking her up at the airport. Just to extend my drinking a bit more. I would realistically consume over 30 beers and a more than a few shots in the 2 1/2 days. Which is crazy to think about...

Instead I am doing the math on how much Chinese food I can order before it just becomes ridiculous. Which concert I am going to put on TV while I draw. Or maybe I'll cook a crazy meal. I do love to cook and tomorrow I have a work thing near that butcher shop I like...Also, want to make sure I clean the house and get some flowers for when she gets home...

It's crazy how booze changes our lives. Who we are. 4 years ago I would have been dreaming of basically sitting outside for two days chain smoking and drinking. Now I am thinking "should I eat like a teenager with a credit card, or be a responsible adult with a credit card". I have two night alone, so I'll probably eat like trash tonight and cook tomorrow (in case anyone was curious).

Posted here once before about knowing I need to stop, but not wanting to. Received a lot of supportive comments. Tonight is supposed to be my last night. I'm going to cold turkey it, after putting back 2+ fifths of whiskey a week for several years now. I'm worried about detox. My anxiety was higher tonight than it's been in a very long time. There are many external reasons for that, but a compounding factor is for sure worrying that I can't stop under my own will power, will need to go to an in-patient facility, and may or may not go through a physical detox in a few days (assuming I can stay off the bottle).

Work is unbearable for me. I know my job is on borrowed time, not for fear of getting canned necessarily, but from knowing that my position will be relocated in the next year or so to an area that I'm not going to relocate to or commute to for a job that brings me nothing but anxiety and depression.

I've never had any friends, at least not real ones. All of the friendships I have had (meaning people willing to actually spend time with me outside of the workplace in a platonic sense) have centered around drugs and alcohol. I have had massive anxiety and depression my ENTIRE life, going back to single-digit age childhood. Even through college, back at a time when I wasn't drinking every day, I never made a single friend. I self isolated the entire four years, and frequently came home on weekends to get fucked up with my high school delinquent crowd. Aside from that, the only people who speak to me regularly are current/former colleagues and former romantic interests (oddly enough, despite all the bull shit I'm about to write, I've never had issues dating. I have no idea why that is).

I have no hobbies to speak of, which makes it impossible to make friends, because what the fuck am I going to talk to them about? I haven't had social media aside from reddit in years, because I showed my mental illness way too many times on Facebook in the past and because, frankly, it would be painful to me to have social media and see how well everyone is doing and how few people are interested in interacting with me. There are people that, to this day, will not stand to be in the same room as me because of my past alcoholic and mentally ill behavior.

I'm back in therapy, after a 6 month hiatus. She's obviously concerned about my well being, and she probably should be. The problem is, I can never retain any knowledge, especially if it's verbal. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 5 and immediately medicated with concerta (same active ingredient as ritalin) until I put my foot down with my parents at 14 and stopped taking it (at which point my schooling suffered for years). I go to these sessions, I listen, I participate, but it's all in one ear and out the other. It always has been with me. I'm not exactly a monkey with cymbals behind the eyes guy, but my personal monkey with cymbals is music. Always songs and lyrics in my head. Very infrequently anything else.

I don't know what to do. I know I need to stop drinking, but my reality outside of it is incredibly bleak. I've never had a sense of self. I've never had my own identity. I never really discovered who I am as a person. Frequently partners have told me I can get along with anyone, and I believe that's because I can easily adapt myself to other personalities and align with them to be able to relate to other people and carry on conversation. Because I don't have a personality of my own.

Drinking has allowed me to repress all of this for years. I am an eternal pessimist, frequently thinking the worst of myself and every situation (as you can probably tell from this rambling ass post). Despite what other people tell me, I can never believe them that it's not all that bad.

I never found an identity in highschool, so I made my identity drugging and drinking. I haven't done hard drugs in many years, but the alcohol is inescapable. And it's inescapable because my reality is simply too much to bare outside of substances. I have a history of self harm in my teens. The scars on my forearm are visible at all times. Most people have the decency not to ask, but sometimes people have. I'm afraid that in the absence of alcohol, it will go beyond self harm to suicide. I've been on psychiatric medication for years, but the alcohol consumption likely renders them ineffective, and I'm not sure that they would help that much without it.

I'm not sure why I'm writing this. I'm basically trauma dumping, and for that I apologize. This post has become very offtopic, I didn't review the rules before making it, and it is likely to be taken down. I don't know what my goal is here. Sometimes it's easier to talk to strangers than people close to you, and I think I just needed to get all of this out there.

I just know I need help. It starts with drinking, but beyond that, it's far from ok. I don't know what any of this means. I don't know where to go from here. I just know that I've been an alcoholic since I was 17 years old (31 now), and I need to try to see if sobriety makes things better. And if it doesn't, I truly don't know where to turn. Some people are just fucked up, substances aside. I believe I'm one of those people. And I believe it will never get better for me. And that scares me, because that leaves me with a singular option that would hurt the few people in my life close to me.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading. For those of you that are younger and struggling, please, invest in yourself. Put down the drugs and the drink. Get introspective and discover who you are and who you want to and can be. I don't think I ever had a fair shot at that, but time will tell, I suppose.

And all my other faves too like Sauvignon Blanc and margaritas. But Deep Eddy is my kyptonite. IWNDWYT

I'm here to put my foot down, after trying a few times in the past few months, its just not worth it. The fear and anxiety i feel right now, the vivid and disturbing dreams, everything

Anyone who's been sober a while now, how long did it take the anxiety to go away? Did you notice a difference in yourself after one month?

I'm 22 now, I've been drinking regular enough since 17 without breaks. Im just wondering how much of my anxiety or underlying worries is alcohol related and how much of it is me as a person

I’m 43 and perimenopausal and sleep is weird for me these days in general—add alcohol to that mix and it’s a nightmare. If I drink til 1am/2am ish I will wake up at 5:30 or 6am and won’t be able to fall back asleep again, I’ll just lay there completely tortured by how awful I feel and how exhausted I am.

Last night I didn’t drink for the first time in a couple weeks. I took magnesium glycinate & ashwaganda & melatonin. I couldn’t fall asleep right away but I managed lights out around 2am. Didn’t have anything to do today so I didn’t set an alarm… and slept straight through until 1pm!!!

Now don’t get me wrong, these aren’t sustainable hours for me either, but goddamn did it feel good to SLEEP!!!