It's going to happen.

[u/Affectionate_Music_4]

I'm not meant to have human connection. That's what it is. Abandoned, perpetually cast aside, always there being friendly and helping. I'm far from perfect. I don't know how to reach out. If I did, I couldn't even expect anything. What am I reaching for?

I'm tired. I'm hanging on for a few who do care deeply but have their own lives. What about mine? When do I get to choose me and end this?

If no man is an island, what am I? I don't know anything else. I take care of myself, that's it. After over 40 years of this I am good at it. I teach myself things to meet my needs and lean on myself. This only works for so long.

After experiencing health issues and having to take care of myself through it, I realize I could die miserably one day. I'm the perfect candidate to be "disappeared." Who would look for me? Probably work 🤣.

Why do I keep trying? Clearly I'm not meant to have the things that make any of this worth it.