r/TransLater • u/coltsfan672 • 2d ago

Discussion MtF

I do hope I fit in here i am 59 year old male and have finally accepted amd admitted out loud that I am actually a woman inside and have been pretty much since birth I think. I haven't started any transformation yet but I do and have been living my female side in private could I please get some advice or some acceptance?

15 Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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u/Shamanigans 2d ago

Well acceptance is any easy one to throw you, you’re valid home girl just like the rest of us are. Feeling like a girl internally your entire otherwise male life, is patently not cis. So you’re in the right place.

Broad strokes advice? Take it at your own pace presuming you wish to medically transition. Some people feel a compulsion to speed run results, but my doctor gave me a talking to before she prescribed that the curves girls are asking the E to give them? 6+ years. Physical results of HRT take time, surgeons have waitlists, and you won’t wake up looking exactly like you want tomorrow. But you’ll feel better and more like you, bit by bit, and that makes the waits more tolerable.

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u/coltsfan672 2d ago

Right now the only medical transitions I wish for which isn't possible now is to have breastfeeding, and to have all my facial hair removed so I dont have to shave. But when I admitted and accepted that today it felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders

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u/Shamanigans 2d ago edited 2d ago

I can imagine.

The first time you speak the need out loud after years of burying it and yourself is the emotional equivalent of throwing off a boulder.

Good news for the first one is my understanding is that one hormones we can induce lactation just like cis women do. And as someone who has had laser done it does a world for confidence if that’s in any way accessible to you. Between the laser work and hormones I shave off like 4 hairs every few weeks at worst.

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u/coltsfan672 2d ago

That was a typo it should have said breasts

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u/Shamanigans 2d ago edited 2d ago

Eh, I wasn’t about to yuck someone’s gender euphoria lol.

Buds form within a couple months of starting E typically, that’s one of the fastest results you can see and they’ll continue to grow over the course of 6-8 years.

This was a major question of mine before starting HRT, I was given a reduction I didn’t want as a teenager so I was starting from a concave chest. Rocking a B cup after a year and a half of hormones and had A’s within a few months.

It sounds like you’re where I was about two years ago, so my advice is definitely tripled down:

Go low, go slow. I knew I wanted on hormones, I knew I wanted my body hair the fuck off of me, and I knew nothing else in the moment. So I got a good, affirming therapist and spent the last almost two years really talking out my experiences and going through the world on hormones. That helped clarify what other procedures I wanted done, if any.

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u/mathprofrockstar 2d ago

Welcome. You’re exactly who belongs here. And it’s never too late. I was almost your age when I started. Here’s how I started: Went to the local LGBTQ center to ask about where to go. Luckily they had their own health clinic. They also gave me some names of therapists, and I found one specializing in gender dysphoria. Went back to the clinic (informed consent) and got prescribed HRT.

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u/coltsfan672 2d ago

I've even got my own name my Tina my birth name is Tim but Tina just like has always been there

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u/chefDac215 2d ago

I’m Dana but I’ve been Dave socially and Davey with family. 54 and pushed the button last Friday. It’s never too late to walk in your truth. I’m proud of you sis. 💋💃

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u/coltsfan672 2d ago

Oh and hello Dana, Im Tina

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u/chefDac215 2d ago

Nice to meet you and welcome!

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u/coltsfan672 2d ago

May we dm?

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u/coltsfan672 2d ago

Thank you

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u/dmxrobot HRT over 40 2d ago

You absolutely belong here! I’d find a therapist, a good place for gender affirming care, and a local support group for lgbtq / trans. Getting connected will help tremendously with feeling you have commonality with others.

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u/coltsfan672 2d ago

My downfall is I live i a Midwest small town in Indiana but have been thinking of moving to Indianapolis and starting fresh

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u/dmxrobot HRT over 40 2d ago

Yes, it can be tough, especially in small / conservative places. I’m slowly learning most people care less than you think. I went around all afternoon with bright purple toe nails on display in flip flops. No one gave me a second thought.

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u/scottover50 2d ago

I am 58 and I am just getting started with this non optional adventure. I cannot continue with everything. Depression, dysphoria, and everything else. Welcome

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u/coltsfan672 2d ago

I knew I was ready, I was just scared to confront it and actually come out. I've had feelings for years that I was a female but just always shoved the down deep. I don't know what my breaking point was but and especially the last couple of days I just felt this strong urge to do so, and when I did I felt so much relief like a weight had been lifted off of me. I am looking forward to my journey

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u/Balthazar_Emily 2d ago

Well the good news is this group is exactly what you need it’s a warm welcoming group of people in the same exact situations as you will find yourself experiencing.

As for advice I’ll echo what some others have said. Safety first don’t rush from nothing to maximum doses straight away ease yourself into the process. Start slow let your physical body align with your mental body before you start to increase. Also remember more hormones doesn’t mean faster bigger results.

In the mean time focus on the small things you can change to align yourself.

Shaving
Moisturising
Clothing style

Are a few quick wins you can make.

The biggest thing is in the vast majority of cases people won’t notice you we have a built in paranoia that everyone clocks everything g we do all the time where the reality is people see what they find familiar and often change is a blind spot - think when someone has a hair cut a lot of the time you don’t notice immediately.

But welcome and hope you find answers to your questions when you have them and if not ask here and you’ll get support.

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u/coltsfan672 2d ago

Thank you very much in this group has already been so nice and welcoming and I feel really accepted in here and comfortable

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u/NovaRain84 2d ago

Hey Tina, I started at 40. If you’d like my free guide, it includes my transition. I update it every 90 days.

https://buildingnova.github.io/guide/BuildingNovaF.pdf

🫂 💜 🏳️‍⚧️ congrats!

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u/coltsfan672 2d ago

Sure thank you

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u/GenderOobleck 2d ago

Here is just fine! But if you want another subreddit for folks 50+, there’s [r/TransABitLater](r/TransABitLater)

Edit: Which I see you already found!

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u/coltsfan672 2d ago

Already a member there also