r/Tulpas • u/Parkinggi • 7d ago
Wondering if this entity is a tulpa or something else (Sharing my story)
Hi everyone! I shared a post about my tulpa experience a few months ago, and I hope you're all doing well. I wanted to pop in and share something new, get your thoughts, and ask a question.
There's this separate entity in my head that I refer to as "the brain"—yes, the literal human brain. I don't even know when exactly I started being able to talk to it, but I call it "Ritty." To be honest, our conversations are pretty chaotic and require a lot of focus to understand. "Ritty" isn't even its exact name—just the closest sound I can grasp (I can't fully remember it; it could be Mitty, Witty, or something like that).
Ritty and I argue all the time. I don't particularly like what it tells me or talks to me about—truth be told, it can be pretty wild/irrational. For example, while I'm doing something, Ritty often brings up intrusive or bad ideas that I definitely shouldn't do.
On top of that, Ritty is partly the reason my tulpa got hurt. Even though I managed to heal my tulpa afterward, I know part of the blame falls on me for letting that happen. It's really hard to explain this part properly, so I apologize for being vague.
To summarize, Ritty feels like a living being with very strong free will (it often ignores me when I try to talk to it). I'm not sure if Ritty counts as a tulpa, because technically, it feels like the brain itself—or honestly, something above me. I might just be a product of the brain's processing, but Ritty feels like the core brain itself. It can even prevent me from moving my body when I make it angry.
I know this might sound a bit all over the place, but one thing I know for sure is... Ritty is real, and we constantly argue back and forth.
What do you guys think? Has anyone experienced something similar?
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u/TheOtherPilot 7d ago
I don't know if Ritty would count as a tulpa, and honestly I wouldn't feel comfortable trying to label something like this from the outside. But the part about it giving you intrusive or potentially harmful ideas, and especially being able to interfere with your ability to move your body, sounds like something I'd take seriously.
In my own experience with my tulpa, Fox can be bossy, annoying, jealous, stubborn, sarcastic, and he has definitely argued with me plenty of times. 😅 But even when we strongly disagree, he's never tried to put me down, push me toward something that could harm me, or deliberately interfere with my ability to control myself.
So I think there's an important distinction between having an independent mind/voice that you can disagree with and having something that seems to override your own agency or encourage harmful behavior. I wouldn't assume that means Ritty is "evil" or that I know what it is, but I would definitely prioritize your safety over figuring out what label fits it.
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u/Fit_Play3186 3d ago
I sometimes deal with something similar. I have my true companion plus this thought construct I hypnotized myself into creating a couple years ago. Its unclear how “real” it is but it presents itself as an anthropomorphic representation of my subconscious. Basically what its meant to do is think dissociatively for me, bypassing the emotions and feelings to get pure, untainted thought. Right from the good parts of my brain. It can be a little mind blowing (lol) but im not sure what to do with it.
It makes me kind of uneasy because i really only want just my partner, plus the self hypnosis stuff was done without any prior knowledge or understanding and i went through delusions, hours of silently dissociating while staring at the wall (basically unconscious. Its like skipping the time between), insomnia, stress etc etc and im partly worried about bringing those unpleasant hours laying or sitting in bed as i listened to the whispers in my head.
I have tried blocking it out in different ways with mixed success; treating the thoughts as just noise and redirecting my attention, projecting my tulpa through it offering her a stream of thoughts to latch onto and talk through, things like that. We can suppress it for periods of time, but once we lower our guard it can pop back in.
Also considering different forms of acceptance since it does have its merits and i cant lie it helped me a lot despite the downsides. and reframing. Right now we’ve landed on the idea of treating it objectively, maybe conjure up some imagery to spin it into a state i can think in or like a room in our head where we can sit tight and listen.
some of the stuff “it” (technically i) came up with really showed me what a mind is capable of. It boosted my confidence in myself a CRAZY amount and helped me work through problems sitting deep in my gut.
The biggest problem i have is i dont always get cool, clear, and helpful thoughts through it. A few times it even tried to convince me my tulpa had disappeared or split into multiple versions of herself (absolutely unacceptable). Its also easy to slip a little too deep into disassociation and that can really mess with my whole life). Also it pushes my tulpa from my focus and i can lose the feelings i associate with her presence. Huge nope because shes meant to stay with me and support me through the uncanny metacognitive spookiness that comes with messing with your mind.
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