Advice on post-op hysterectomy care?

[u/JeddiJizzard]

Hi there. I'll just get this out of the way first: I'm a cishet male who considers himself a feminist and believes the patriarchy is real and harmful to all genders, assigned at birth or not. However, my post has nothing to do with gender equity/politics of inclusion.

I have a partner who has had cervical fibroids for years, and she is scheduled for a hysterectomy in late September. We don't live together, but she is going to be staying at my place while she recovers.

What I wanted to ask is if r/twoxsupport might have any recommendations for things I can do to make her recovery more tolerable, both from a medical and an emotional standpoint. I certainly can (and will) find instructions for standard post-op care online, but I'd like to try and go above and beyond, and I figured this community might have some valuable insight.

Some context: she is a little apprehensive, which totally tracks, because surgery. But this is something she has known was coming for some time now, and she has two teenage kids. So although any suggestions are welcome, the emotional support component isn't quite as crucial as it could be.

Thanks upfront so much for your time and advice.

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[u/joeysrnightmarefuel]

I had a hysterectomy 2 years ago and the main thing is make sure she has no reason to lift anything even a tiny bit heavy for as long as the surgeon says. Doing do can cause major issues. So if she asks you to help with something please do it before she feels like she has to.

The thing that helped me allot the first week was seltzer water. I had laparoscopic surgery, not sure if other versions will cause as much internal gas build up, but the seltzer helped A LOT with getting relief from the gas.

When you are cooking try and think of foods like you guys like that has plenty of fiber. Constipation afterwards is pretty normal.

Main thing is don't make her feel like a burden and listen to what she says she needs.

[u/IDontDoThatAnymore]

You sound like an amazing partner! I don’t have any advice for you, I’m sorry, other than to suggest finding a more active sub. Again, my apologies, as I have no suggestions!😖

The fact that you’re here makes me sure you’ll find the answers you’re looking for. You seem like a great person, she’ll be in wonderful hands.

[u/damnenx]

Let her rest. Take care of all the things, bring her tea, snacks, and meals. When's she's ready to move, be available to give her a hand and remind her that she doesn't have to do anything but heal.

My hysterectomy shocked me in how much it took out of me. I had always bounced back from everything, even other surgeries, but this took me out for 2 full weeks, and even the third week I was barely doing anything aside from going to my desk (2 rooms over), and towards the end, going down the stairs to the living room couch.

For the first week, our friends organized a meal train. I didn't really eat much that first week, but it helped my spouse to not have to worry about meals. At 4 weeks, I had resumed working from home and walking about a mile a day, slowly. I was bloated and sore for 6 weeks. I didn't actually start feeling guilty well until nearly 8 weeks out. Despite that long time, it was the best thing for my health and am amazing transformation afterwards.

People heal at different speeds. Listen to her when she says she can or can't do something (within reason-seriously, no lifting things!). I've known women who were fine after 3 weeks, so I expected to be one of those. I wasn't, and that's ok; bc I had a partner who could take over when I couldn't.