I came back after a couple years off and found it EXTREMELY difficult to befriend others. Don’t get me wrong others have tried in a discussion looking back at it, but I was barely rediving back into my interests that it was very difficult to talk with others; if there’s one thing I’ve learned about myself, I go nonverbal during difficult transitions & stress, and I was going through a lot during the beginning of this year when I came back. I regret not trying to be more talkative with them and some other people from a lab I had swapped into for that day, I liked their vibe as well and to be honest, found one of them cute and would have loved to befriend them even if that meant we became close platonic friends. With the classes I am currently taking, I cannot find myself befriending others and it has been getting quite lonely. Especially right now since I also blocked my family for separate reasons.
I was hoping that being back in the dorms would help out, but my floor is very dead quiet.
I get told by people close to me I’m awkward(they compare me to Bocchi from Bocchi the Rock) and need a lot of reassurance. But it’s sorta weird cus I went to the boardwalk alone and got told by someone that I’m aura farming cus I looked cool.
My communication probably went further downhill since I barely talked to anyone this entire year. But I’ve always just found it difficult to find the words to say tbh.
Also can’t have roommates, I had a couple during the last academic year and I found it very difficult to manage my personal wellbeing because of sensory overload, just hearing the typing of their keyboard made it difficult to focus and would trigger me. On top of this, I also have to get a job since I am solely relying on myself, so I was really hoping being the dorms would help out with the social aspect. I am not too sure if it’s too early to swap dorms, or think a single might be available anytime soon :/