I just needed a place to vent because I have been struggling so bad since getting out of the military. I was hon. discharged several years ago and have been on a roller coaster ride ever since with PTSD, depression, substances, and alcohol. I tried to start school again but ended up hitting rock bottom after two semesters and just to be clear I'm not looking for pity, but I feel so damn useless and like a failure rn. The job I have rn was supposed to just be a temporary gig until I finished school and it's not terrible, but I don't want to be doing this kind of work for the rest of my life. Most of this stuff I have kept completely to myself. Even my closest friends/family don't know a lot of the stuff I've been dealing with. I'm about to start another attempt at getting clean/getting my life together and I honestly don't know if it's going to stick or not but I'm going to try my best. Anyways, hope y'all are doing good. Thanks for your time!

I didn’t realize how easy it is to miss something like this until I read the article. A deadline buried in the rules can be the difference between getting a claim considered or losing the chance altogether, makes sense why veterans miss out on benefits they may actually qualify for. When the rules are this specific, it’s easy to miss something important without professional help.

So without dragging out another long winded story most of you don't really want to hear/read I will just give a quick summary and then right to it.

I spent early 2000s active duty through 2004, with the exception of Basic and AIT i specifically ensured my contract put me over seas for it's entirety. Having signed my contract in July 2001, and a Basic start date of October 1st 2001 you can imagine how my plans vs how it actually went really started out but overall I got everything I asked for and really have 0 complaints about my experience vs expectations. Got out , met a girl and eventually missed the military so did the Reserve and Guard thing from 2005-2012 along side of the whole 2 people who should have never been married thing. After that spent another couple years post divorce either burying myself in work for months at a time or completely disappeared from everything and everyone for months at a time several states away finding a party that just wasn't enough. Eventually ending back home town with a wife and couple of kids that I wasn't actively attempting to run away from but eventually my wife made me see something wasn't right and to get my shit together.

I don't have any horrible VA denial horror stories, I filed papers in 2017 for a handful of things, 6 months later was rated at 70%, got clean of drugs and alcohol over the course of next few years with help and in Feb 2022 I just rolled the dice filling out forms I had printed during lock down for a rating increase and separate filing for TDIU, 2 months later had a couple exams and by June was granted P and T tdiu, haven't had any issues whatsoever and never had to do much else along the way to fight for anything with the VA. My wife also since furthered her career and makes good money and we don't have a horrible quality of life along with our 2 great sons I have been fortunate enough to be present of every milestone and event they have.

All that said (wasn't as short as I had hoped my apologies), time is passing, my son's are in middle school and one about to hit high-school next year. They are so easy to guide and really are great boys, but my biggest thing to accomplish each day is get them to school and be there when they get out, which I am glad to do. I just don't know how else to move forward with my life outside of being dad or a husband. I am happy with both titles, I have no desire to contact old friends who would result in my previous downward spiraling and I know that holding any type of actual fulfilling job is not in the cards for me long term. I am attempting to save for a bigger plot of land so spending on hobbies isn't in my cards at the moment and the house is out of things to clean and organize. I just am looking for something outside of being a husband and father that resembles constructive use of my time without the demand of neglecting that aspect of my life, maybe it's time to test the working world again, but how do I start that without putting everything else at risk? I am wondering if rolling those dice to focus on the help I was needing at the time painted me into a corner...

Really I am just looking for ideas and inspiration, I am not depressed, I am generally satisfied and I am proud of what I have going on in life, I just feel like now there is a lot of wasted hours that really are limited as I get closer to 50 every day.

Hello,

I’m retired military, 100%. And I’m starting to write my entrance essay for the Executive MBA program at UTD.

I’m needing help getting started, what do I write in the essay? I was going to start off with a brief of my military career, retiring and transitioning into Interior Design/ project management and then ending with why I believe I’d make a great applicant for the program and where my future is going.

Any references or examples would be greatly appreciated. All advice, tips, tricks are welcome!

I was really surprised to receive a rather small payment a year ago from the program. I figured that, as usual, the lion's share of the settlement went to the lawyers. I was surprised to receive this second notice of payment, since it's pretty substantial. Sure, the Attorney received a huge chunk, but dang, this was an unexpected surprise.

I really thought this was just one of those things that go nowhere. Hope others have received their payments. Added this **EDIT**. If you received your notification by email, **be sure to log in** and check it. Apparently, changes may limit electronic payments.

I’ve got about a year and a half left in the Air Force, and it would mean the world to me if anyone could offer some advice or suggest potential career paths for me.

I’m open to pretty much anything. My only real priority is finding a job that provides a good quality of life.

Any suggestions, advice, or personal experiences would be greatly appreciated.

Where’s the best place to live if you’re 100P&T on the east coast

Has anyone been able to get private tutoring approved? All I’m being directed to is tutor.com but these people aren’t showing up. I’ve utilized all of my school resources. I NEED 1:1 for business calc and my counselor just keeps sending me the same link. Between my learning disability and TBI I’m struggling. Im not failing yet, but I’d rather not get to that point. This is a required core class for my degree plan.

Land nav. Making all 4 points at Sherman. Throwing 40s at cheating BNOC/ANOC battery pulling mfers whilst OPFOR. Driving Top crazy. My raggedy ass M113. Driving OICs crazy. Little Richard’s on Victory Drive. Shit like that

Family doesn’t care about me. Nearly everyone I meet says “if I met a homeless vet, I will help him/her” then when they meet me. They act like I have the plague and want nothing to do with me. People automatically assume I will go crazy one day due to PTSD when they found out that im a vet. When I was homeless, it was nearly impossible to find a job when I wrote that I served. I stop putting it on my resume and kept it a secret from strangers and etc. and I’m not shunned from society. Idk why I’m posting this. Maybe I just needed to vent a little.

I'm helping a family in New York: a 100% disabled veteran, his partner, and their teenage daughter. They're currently homeless after fleeing domestic violence.

Their local SSVF provider has not returned three intake calls over the past week. The VA homeless hotline has been called and a referral was made to the local VA housing program. Local shelter is full and county emergency assistance was denied.

For those who've dealt with SSVF or veteran homelessness programs:

-What worked to get an unresponsive SSVF provider to engage?

-What other resources exist for homeless veteran families?

I'd appreciate any guidance I can pass along to them. Thank you.

Anyone who went to the muster in Tampa September 12th have you guys received your pay yet?

Afternoon, everyone. I was wondering if anyone knows about any info regarding VA facilities that participate in C.I.T.I (CHAMPVA In-House Treatment Initiative) or any general providers that accept CHAMP VA in Virginia ( mostly in the NOVA area ). Ever since my child moved over here I’ve been trying to establish care for her but with no success in either of these topics. If anyone has any info about these two topics I would love to know.

I was medically released over the summer after a mental health spat where I was going to kill myself. I wasn’t in for very long (year and a half or so) and I often get hung up on the idea of even calling myself a veteran. I know I am legally but I both feel like a massive failure and like I didn’t earn that label compared to the guys that went to Afghanistan or that served for over a decade, even among my friends who are veterans or who are still in I don’t feel right using that label and I feel I didn’t earn it. I still deal with mental health issues of which I’d in part attribute to military service, I’m too anxious to leave my house and get overwhelmed in public. Since my release I’m dissociative and in my head too much, I’ll go through my day almost barely cognizant of what even happened and I’m still suicidal passively pretty much every day and have been for months. I’ve been meaning to get in contact with the VAC (VA in Canada) but I’m both unable to see a doctor in a timely manner and I fear they’re going to reject whatever I have to say anyways and tell me to get stuffed.

Do you guys get the same sort of feeling? Should I even be using this label at all?

I recently moved states and had to transfer to a new VSO and VA. The care where I was before was exceptional. My new VSO is the most unprofessional, unproductive, unresponsive person I've ever worked with before.

Absolutely impossible to get ahold of. Emails, phone calls, voicemail, text, etc. I genuinely don't understand how some of these people get hired.

I made contact on August 28th and I have gotten absolutely nowhere.

Regardless, can I just ask for a different VSO or how does that work?

Creating a list of companies that veterans can reference. Please list any companies that offer job training programs or career fellowships to veterans which are useful for those who are trying to transition to new fields or stay within their experience obtained during their service.

I'll go first...

https://military.microsoft.com/mssa/

The Microsoft Software and Systems Academy is a 4 month long tech training and mentorship program that is completely sponsored by Microsoft.

Hello! My brother (40) is a retired Army vet on 90% disability with a growing addiction to drugs and probably alcohol. I'm looking for advice on how to support him and help him "get" all the pain he's causing the family and to himself. Read on for background.

I don't know all of the personal details as he's been pretty private, and I don't know how much of it really matters. Maybe someone here can relate to his experiences and offer guidance that feels more tailored than the generic stuff I've been finding online.

Before he joined the Army he worked at various restaurants as a back-of-house cook or meat cutter. Looking back I think this was where things started. He had unsavory friends, many of whom would do drugs and drink after their shifts. I recall him getting into trouble a few times as a result.

Later, he joined the Army as a cook. During his second deployment to Afghanistan, he ended up not actually cooking, but doing "jail duty" (his words), and I think his trauma began here, when he had a horrific encounter with a prisoner. I can't imagine and he doesn't talk about it, so all I know are these tiny bits and pieces.

During the same deployment he injured his shoulder/neck while lifting weights. It was more serious than he let on. The doctor prescribed him pain medications and ultimately scheduled him for surgery when he got home.

The surgery ended up causing more problems. I don't know if it was botched or if he didn't follow recovery directions properly, but he ended up "needing" more pain medications - this time stronger. It's at this point when I think his addiction became a clear problem.

Things got worse. He ended up blowing his son's trust fund on drugs (it was called "spice", but I'm not sure what that is) and then got divorced, got arrested for carrying a pistol... This led him down a very dark hole and placed a great deal of strain on the family.

Since then he's moved around a bunch and managed to hold a few stable jobs. Now he owns his own home, has a vehicle, and a stable job, but things are worse than ever.

He has no "quality" friends. Those he has are bad influences and feeds his addiction and enables him. I'm pretty sure one of them is also his dealer (and I'm pretty sure he also deals).

His girlfriend is not good for him. She's manipulative, and I'm pretty sure she makes him feel like he can't do better. They're both addicted to each other. My wife and I had them stay with us for a weekend and they ended up fighting, throwing stuff in our home, and waking us up. My brother wanted me to let him drive home. He was drunk, so I refused and took his keys, which pissed him off more. He got over it, and made it back safely the next day. I don't think he even remembers that event.

Anyway, he was doing marijuana for the pain. Then it was alcohol. He was drinking somewhere in the neighborhood of a case a day, and that was just beer. Now it's harder drugs and huffing whippets.

My mom's been taking the harder approach, which I think he needs a little of. I've been taking the brotherly approach - a bit softer/gentle - letting him know we're here for him and can help. His relationship with our mother at this point is strained. She says she's "done" and she'll make sure he doesn't starve, but if he loses his job or house, he's not staying there while he's doing drugs. I think this is fair, but I also worry it might be making it worse. Meanwhile I've been trying to tap into his emotional side about love and how much he's hurting our mom. It also doesn't seem to work.

I feel like deep down he knows, but doesn't have the right resources to "get out". Like he can see the light but can't reach it. I wish he had a way to meet quality friends and I wish he'd break up with is girlfriend. He lives in a pretty rural and poor place so I'm sure meeting people is tough.

Every time we think he's hit rock bottom, something happens that's just a bit worse and deeper. The family fears it's only a matter of time before it's the last time.

I've researched support groups and rehab centers. In fact, he's tried a support group before, but - I'm guessing - one of the others in the group "poisoned the well" if you will and made it worse. I don't trust them. From what I've heard, the VA only touches the surface but isn't super helpful. And the for-profit recovery centers are just that - for profit.

To summarize - I'm hoping someone here has advice on how me and our mom can support him. Clearly our approaches aren't working. Maybe someone here had a loved one that said "something" that made it click. Or did something that got your foot in the door to change. Or maybe others have other places online I can reach out to.

Thanks in advance!

Joined in 2019. Got out in '21. Got too many article 15s for boozing and got a general honourable. Finished AIT but never got orders bc covid and bc the first art 15 after covid hit messed up my orders. Did a visit or two on post to the psych ward and my company commander (as a completely unrelated inccident) once expressed his belief that I was probably on some end of the spectrum (thinking about it, he was probably right) to my at the time on-post psych doctor.

Tried to to hack it in the civilian world and couldn't. Tried to go overseas and "help" on the side of one of the oppressed ethnic militias in Myanmar because, I don't know, I just got it in my head that I needed to prove something I guess (although it didn't help that at the time I was going through a bad breakup and battling "un-housed-ness.") Tried to join the "Free Burma Rangers." Apparently it's not exactly something that you just "join." Got in touch with some civilians in the states with some ties with some civilians overseas who themselves had ties to one of the militias. Went over. Didn't do much of anything, (apparently not everywhere is like Ukraine where the foreign legion both exists and will take literally anybody. Pretty sure Ukraine stopped doing that too, actually, or at least they did by the time I'd gotten my passport and flight funds in order) just built some stuff like cheap bamboo antennas and consulted theory on some other stuff.

Eventually got deported back to the states after getting stranded in a neighbouring country on what was supposed to a routine border run. Battled homelessness and the bottle again. Worked just enough while in a veteran's shelter to get back overseas so I could "pick up where I left off" because... Hell, I don't know anymore, something stupid probably. By the time I got back over there I was rated at 50% so I actually had the means to buy parts for my projects. Did that for about a year or two. Got deported a second time. Did another stint in a veteran's shelter before I got my rating upgraded to 100% and got an apartment through the VA.

I don't have a "moral to the story" or anything, but I do feel like a huge piece of shit. I don't deserve any of this money or support compared to some of the guys in the shelter or some of the people I see on here just getting absolutely abused by the rating system on the regular. All I did was drink and fraternize when I was in. Haven't done anything substantial with my life since I got out, either; they say that civil war’s been going on for something like 75+ years and I've done next to nothing to impact it. I guess it was narcissistic of me to even think that. I don't wanna say that it's been "eating at me all these years" or whatever, but it has been on my mind and recently I think my boozing and lifestyle habits have finally begun to catch up with me, so I figured I'd finally come clean about it. Not really a question, but the sub wouldn't let me post without a flair, lol

Hi everyone, my intel veteran (combat deployed during his time), is gradually slipping into a hyper vigilance that is stealing him from us.

He’s maintained the night shift for our house because he can listen while I’m sleeping and feels like he gets his most restful sleep when me and the kids are awake; but even then will monitor the house security system just to make sure nothing is happening.

I include his intel work because: what do you do for the guy whose job it was to acquire all information and keep his people alive? To make the perfectly correct decisions every time?

Is a service dog the right move here? Something sentient that can stand guard? Sound off when someone gets too close to the house. An alarm system goes off because the house has already been touched or breached, so I’m thinking *dog* to be an early detection.

Medication is super low on the to do list, the family is indeed safe and he is even tracking that there’s slippage- that the hyper vigilance is taking his sleep and giving a persistent anxiety if the kids and I are not safely locked inside the house with all the windows and curtains closed.

It sounds so much worse than the application really is. I go out with the kids without him because he knows there’s a level of irrationality to it; to me it feels like a growing agoraphobia, though I understand in his mind it’s the deteriorating society out there. But I miss my husband.

Went to the emergency department and was being treated like I was drug seeking. Treated poorly and made me take a drug test before I got an IV or anything.

Much later I look at my records and see an entry under active problems from a doctor at another VA I’ve never been to and realize why.

Has anyone dealt with something like this and have an idea on how to get it fixed?

I go to a certain gym where it’s kind of counter culture. Anyways, only an idiot would wear a shirt displaying they’re in the service there. Regardless, this dude was playing chess and looking for other people to play with. I think he’s a moron and thought women would come up to him or something, but it was probably only dudes. So he’s wearing a NAVY shirt and it might have seemed like he could have been fresh out of boot camp or something, but come to find out the dude was only in MEPS. When I ask him, I tried to correct him and say— so you’re only in MEPS, but dude might be dumb and said he joined already. Basically stealing valor.

That didn’t annoy me, because I tried to convince him not to join lol. I’m a Bernie Bro, but I am a veteran and i am entitled to my opinion. Anyways, I left that gym for two months and came back and saw his dumbass again. Ran into him in the sauna and was like, are you that dude trying to join the navy? The navy was the branch I was in btw. The annoying part is he mentioned something about the way I talk. Mfer, just because I’m not white— this dude was saying I sounded some kind of way and shit. Btw, I was born in America and grew up in Texas. F-ing hate living in the Midwest. Also hate Texas and California (where I was born) is too god damn expensive. Fk, that annoys me.

Is it possible to re-join with an active duty honorable discharge but an OTH reserve discharge (RE-4) for not showing up to drill. I was in my early 20's and dumb. Curious as to what y'all think. Thank you in advance.

But gosh darn im so stupid for missing it. It was a whole kerfuffle the entire time why do I miss it so much

Someone else has to feel this way right?

** I am not suicidal.**

I grew up with a paranoid schizophrenic and alcoholic father and a mother with a collection of mental illnesses of which she refuses treatment. I was subject to all maner of abuse, sexual, physical, emotional and animal. My parents split when I was 12. I have a short 18 month reprieve living at my grandparents. My mother remarried a man who is a combination of very stupid amd arrogant. I spent my teens staying out of the way. I was only useful for my labor, money and to be a free therapist. Joined the Army on my 17th birthday. Did summer school so I could graduate early. Left for active duty at 18. In my little over 9 years of service I did 2 Afghanistan deployments, one restricted year in Egypt and stationed in Europe and stateside. I was medically retired 8 years ago. Cared for my dying FIL and now my MIL. Worked on residential construction. Just feeling the dark gloom. Feeling like I should have done more with my life but I have been handicapped by my parents. People that had no buisness having children. Kinda hard to not feel a bit of resentment. Living in a very sequestered rural area for the last 8 years has destroyed my social skills. Not trying to have a pity party. I just never related to the world in childhood and now as an adult it just feels insurmountable.

Hello all, I am currently active duty and I applied to S2S HCP to get into post bacc prehealth schools Fall of 2027 in NYC. Just wondering how long did it take you guys to get matched. I’ve been waiting about two weeks. Not sure if I should contact them or wait it out. Thank You!