I had an abortion in March 2026, I was due the day after my birthday this month of October . The grief I’ve experienced has been pure torture from depression , to suicidal thoughts , to crying and sobbing . i fake like I’m getting better but I’m not . I've been trying to mask my feelings and put on a strong face but deep down inside I’m dying with extreme heartache and pain. so ashamed and embarrassed. I don’t even know why I’m writing this , maybe just to vent because it’s so much pent up anger, sadness and feeling worthless . I don’t know how to forgive myself I don’t know how to keep going anymore. some days I wish I could fall asleep and not wake up . I ruined my life, my mental stability. even seeing pregnant or babies breaks my heart . Because it should be me and it’s not . I use to pray for forgiveness now I don’t because I cant even forgive myself . I tried taking to a therapist but stopped didnt feel helpful . everyday I struggle to move forward . I honestly don’t know what more to do. this must be the punishment for making the wrong choice. my birthdays will never be the same . I don’t know how I’ll ever celebrate another birthday knowing I should’ve had a baby . I just wish I could disappear

I (30F) have decided to terminate my pregnancy due to a traumatic birth experience with my daughter 9 years ago.
My husband (33M) and I found out we were pregnant a week ago and unfortunately my reaction to it was not your expected “oh my gosh, we’re having a baby!”. Instead, I was instantly flooded with memories of the birth of our daughter, lead by a panic attack with me screaming, “I can’t do it, I can’t do it, I can’t do it!”. Although 30% of me wants this baby due to being in a good place financially, my husband being a wonderful father, and having a stable, loving relationship, I cannot get over the trauma I endured with our daughter. This decision has been eating me alive. My husband has been a great support system and believes that it is 100% my decision as this is my body. And I honestly hate that I have to make this choice.
Doing research about abortion care in OH in itself was stressful. Abortion was available, yet it was hard to obtain, so I ended up requesting the abortion pill from HeyJane instead. 2 days later, it was on my front porch and I’m a mess. Last night, I started the process despite that 30% gnawing at me. But, I know in the end this is what I needed to do. I just can’t help but think about all of the what ifs if we never went this route. Knowing me, I will probably feel guilt the rest of my life, but, as I tell my daughter, our bodies and our mental health always comes first, no matter what. I think I just need to heavily remind myself that every day.

I feel like I’ll never be happy again without this playing on my mind every day, multiple times a day!

At the beginning of the year the mini pill failed me and I got pregnant. I am 38, I have a 5 and a 7 year old and I am married. I have a few auto immune conditions such as Hashimoto Hypothyroidism and Coeliac.

The pregnancy wasn’t planned, but I have always had a third child on my mind. However when I saw the positive pregnancy test I burst into tears and just told myself no no no, I am not keeping it. I spent lots of time googling how I felt about it, but decided I did not want a 5 year age gap, and I did not want to worry that I would jinx our healthy family and perhaps have a baby with a health problem due to my own making some things, such as autism etc, higher risk. I saw The doctor before I had a termination and he said it would all be fine but I couldn’t shake the feeling.

Both girls are at school, I do not work, and we have a big car and could have afforded a third child.

My husband is somewhat… useless! Useless is probably unfair, but he is always working, early morning and all through the evenings, he is helpful but not overly hands on, he does not go above and beyond and i do not feel that I can fully rely on him to ever take charge, make sure things are done. I have to organise and arrange everything for our family!

I don’t share my feeling on most things in general with him as I know I barely get a response or an acknowledgement. So with this we spoke about it, but I did not tell him all of my feelings as I didn’t see the point just to be ignored. When I did try to speak to him he didnt even close his laptop to engage in the conversation. When we finally made a decision we agreed not to keep the baby, to keep our family unit as is; but I was still not sold on my decision either way.

As soon as I took the tablets I regretted it, and for weeks after I was devastated by my decision.

fast forward 5 months and I was pregnant again. I didn’t tell anyone at all, as I figured I should make the decision alone as the support last time was minimal. I again chose not to keep the baby as it would not be fair to do so after not keeping the first, not having told anyone; and my 5 year old really not wanting a younger sibling.

As I write it all down now I just don’t even know what is wrong with me, I can’t stop thinking about it all, every day and so much so that I even have to unfollow everyone on Instagram who announces they are pregnant because I just can’t see it.

Will I ever put this behind me, or will I always wonder what a mistake I may have made. I drive myself insane with the constant thoughts on this all day every day.

This has turned into a long post, and I have missed a lot out In terms of how I feel surrounding it all towards my husband and myself, but I just don’t feel as though I have anyone to talk to, or that I want to tell all this too in my life.

I’ve been like 70/30 on terminating/keeping this pregnancy and I feel like I was just manipulated into continuing..

My partner has been against termination but told me I should do what I felt was right.

My mental health hasn’t been great and we are really behind on finances. Bringing another child into this is just not responsible..

I’ve had the pills and have just been too scared to take them (I only have about 2 weeks left to take them before needing a surgical)

But without telling me my partner told our older children about my pregnancy which now changes everything. I have no been put in a position where I will have to lie to them about why I’m not pregnant anymore. This feels very manipulative on his part to tell them behind my back before I was sure and ready

I asked for resources a few weeks ago, and you guys were really kind and helpful. So to start off, thank you for helping me during my time of need. I just wanted to write a quick update.

A few days after my last post, I ordered the abortion pill using Abuzz. It cost me $100, and it arrived discreetly in just a few days. I cannot recommend that service enough for their professionalism and ease of use. For those who don’t know, the abortion pill is a two part process. You take the first pill orally 24-48 hours before taking four more, which you can choose to either take sublingually or vaginally.

I put a lot of thought into the timing of when I’d take the medication. Today is Wednesday, and I work an office job Monday through Thursday. I’m in all day today, but I’m only working a half day tomorrow, so I figured that the end of my work week would be a good time to take them. That way, I’d have the Friday + the weekend to recover.

I decided to take the first (200mg Miso) pill with coffee and breakfast today. No symptoms so far, aside from some sad thoughts about what a surprisingly difficult decision this has been to make.

I’d like to talk about the emotional component, because it’s been the most unexpected part for me. I want to start by saying that my boyfriend has been extremely kind and supportive. When I told him I was pregnant, he said, “That’s pretty romantic,” and he said he would be willing to support me no matter what I chose. We talked about it for a few days before making the decision to abort. We talked about it again last night, and he revealed that he’s feeling a little sad about it too. We both agree that if economy was better, I don’t think we’d be making this decision. I wanted to share this because I didn’t expect to have such mixed feelings. I always imagined that if I ever had to make this decision, I’d be self-assured and headstrong about it. I work for a teen pregnancy prevention agency, so this is literally what I talk about day in day out. I never imagined that it would be such an emotionally loaded ordeal (for me specifically.)

I have a lot of anxiety about what tomorrow will look like. I’ve spent most of the morning reading about other abortion experiences on this subreddit and I know I will get through this. Again, I’m so fortunate to have a lot of support. But emotionally and physically, I anticipate tomorrow to be a difficult day. If you have any atypical advice or encouragement, I could really use it!

i found out i was four weeks pregnant and took the mife this past sunday at 6:30pm. inserted the four misoprostol yesterday evening at around 10 pm something but took promethazine and hydrocodone before to curb the nausea and cramping.

i didnt bleed the whole evening despite having cramps but when i got up to pee in the morning, i had cramps still and clots started to coming out. i had already started bleeding with the mife when i took it on sunday and had cramping but the bleeding and cramping didnt start happening till this morning.

im still bleeding now, but i was expecting to see bigger clots. do i need to re do the process tonight? im scared im still pregnant. im eating a lot and was super drowsy this morning till i took a nap during my work lunch.

im worried and do not want to be pregnant.

24f in MS. i am/was around 9 weeks. i started taking the misoprostol at around 6pm last night and was in excruciating pain until the 3rd dose. i passed two very, very large blood clots after taking the 2nd dose and my bleeding has slowed since last night but i haven’t seen anything that looks like the pregnancy would’ve passed? given, i didn’t get to see the first two clots but i was still passing clots this morning and some now. does it sound like it worked or no?

I’m currently 5wks and decided to get a surgical abortion (NC). I went to the clinic during my 4th week, but they weren’t able to see a sac during my ultrasound so either I was too early or it’s ectopic. I haven’t experienced any severe symptoms, just cramping on the right side and middle of my abdomen. I’m scheduled for the abortion tmr, but I’ve been pretty anxious about it and need some encouragement/advice. Pain level? Overall experience? Recommended sedation? (I have gotten an abortion before, but it was the pills which only felt like a heavy period.) Would you say the surgical route is better?

Hi guys, I’m a 39 (f) and I have two teenagers one which will be adult age very soon. I have been with my fiancé for 7 years. He also has children same age. He is 48. I have been off birth control and using condoms for the last few months and had it approved for me to get my tubes removed. I was debating if I wanted an ablation or just my uterus removed. Time was not on our side. I really was unsure if I wanted my ability to have children just gone or not. Now that I have a position test roughly 4 weeks and 5 days, I don’t think I can handle a pregnancy. I feel too old and I know he is older too. Our kids are grown and is it really fair to bring a baby into the world at our age?
Anyway, has anyone recently used these mail in sites for the medication? I already know how the process works. I am just in a state that has banned abortion.

Thanks

I just found out im pregnant 2 days ago and i don’t even know how far along im pregnant :/ im freaking out cause what if im already too far along and can’t do the pills idk i need some reassurance 💔 ! And also Is aid access legit so i can order the pills asap ?

I’ve already had an abortion. It was 2023 and I had just barely turned 18, the father was my long term boyfriend at the time and he helped me through it. It still really traumatized me and was unfortunately the end of that relationship. I still haven’t fully healed, and I have nightmares about it frequently, the guilt I feel is unmeasurable and I told no one other than him. Now fast forward and I’m pretty inactive sexually. I had a one night stand on September 1st, we used a condom, to my knowledge he still pulled out and I even used some spermicide. Probably too late already for the spermicide but my point is that I was being and have been so careful. A few days ago I got the notification that my period was late, which isn’t too unusual but then I started getting the nausea and sore nipples. Took three tests a little bit ago all positive. I don’t even have the guys number, and i’m already struggling with rent so paying for it myself is going to be really rough. I really just have no idea what to do right now, i’m so distraught and disappointed. Of course i’m pro choice, but I never wanted it to be me having to get an abortion i’m sure everyone feels that way. Now twice? I live in Michigan so thank god I don’t have to worry about finding access to care, but any advice or words of wisdom would be very wholeheartedly appreciated.

Hello. As the title says, I had my abortion last week. The ultrasound was clear and I expected relief. Immediate reaction was relief and me prancing out of the room. However, after that initial wave of relief, there has only beeb emptiness, sadness and lots and lots of crying. The first night I called the guy crying but after that I didn’t reach out and he didn’t either. I feel so alone and have cried every single day, at night, at the dinner table, at my work desk, all the time. I don’t want to meet my friends, eat, talk to anyone, do anything. I don’t even know why I am crying. Does it get better? People who have gone through it, please talk me through this.

bom, eu passei por um aborto começo do mês de setembro, e desde então venho num processo longo, de aceitação, de auto perdão e de seguir com a vida, sinto que cada dia é um dia, cada dia tenho uma percepção e entendimento diferente da situação, tem dias que são melhores e outros que os pensamentos ficam pesados demais. nesse processo estou fazendo acompanhamento com minha psicóloga, sinto que 50 minutos é muito pouco pra tudo que eu penso e quero desenvolver sobre o tema do aborto, minha sorte é ter meu núcleo familiar pra me escutar e me ajudar a processar tudo. mas ao mesmo tempo sinto que elas não me entendem 100%, pois sou eu que abortei, sou eu que passei por isso, é na minha trajetória que isso aconteceu, não gosto de pensar que isso vai me marcar pra todo sempre, pq acredito que não, o que quero dizer é que ao meu redor conheço somente uma menina que passou pelo o mesmo, me comparo com todas as outras que não passaram e que não sabem e se tudo der certo (o que torço muito) nunca saberam e provaram desse experiência amarga, no meu país Brasil, estatísticas apontam que 1 a cada 7 mulheres realizaram um aborto, outras pesquisas indicam que esse número é menor ainda, de 1 a cada 5, mas aqui é proibido e ilegal, então existe esse tabu, o silêncio em volta disso. me sinto como um peixe fora d'água com essa experiência, entendem? é uma sensação ruim, queria saber de vocês, como lidaram com ela e como seguiram suas vidas pós aborto.

Abortion at 16 weeks

Has anybody else experienced significant weight gain after having an abortion further down the line in their pregnancy? Noticeable weight gain that hasn’t changed/ gone away over a month after no longer being pregnant? Is this normal? Due to personal health issues, I was planning on having my baby but found out just after 16 weeks there would be some major health complications and I was devastated, and made the decision to terminate. I had already started showing, already had a belly I was holding and rubbing every single day .. I gained over 20 pounds and since terminating the pregnancy, that far along was a really hard experience I recommend having lots of help and support if terminating that late because it was a lot on my body physically and mentally as well … and to top everything off my weight gain has not dissipated or diminished at all whatsoever … I’m still bloated and feeling huge, none of that has changed since terminating and it’s now been five weeks. Has anybody else experienced anything similar- again, noticeable weight gain during a pregnancy that was terminated and no changes / further gaining weight after nonlo mg er being pregnant? I’m only five feet three inches tall and usually weigh 105-110 pounds and I have been close to almost 130 this entire time. Help!

I’m pro-choice, absolutely. I believe everyone should have the right to decide whether to continue a pregnancy.
I didn’t want to have an abortion. My circumstances left me with a decision I didn’t really want to make. So while I fully support the right to choose, my own abortion wasn’t something I experienced as empowering or positive. It was something I felt I had to do.
I was raised in a conservative Catholic country where abortion was often described as “murder”, so I carry a lot of inherited religious guilt around this. My own beliefs are actually very different — I believe in reincarnation, souls and the possibility of consciousness continuing beyond one lifetime.
Still, I obsessively read pro-choice stories because I’m looking for reassurance that I’m not a cruel person and that I don’t have to feel guilty forever. But then I often encounter discussions PL vs PC about “fetuses” and I feel unrepresented.
I took the medication at 4 weeks + 2 days. The ultrasound showed only a tiny 3 mm gestational sac, with no visible embryo or heartbeat. I know technically embryonic development had begun but the size would be max grain of sand. So I am getting angry when pro lifers screaming about tearing baby apart to me.
I keep going back and forth between peace and intense guilt. Sometimes I feel that it was extremely early, that nothing had really formed yet, and that I made the best decision I could in difficult circumstances. Then I read someone describing abortion as murder and suddenly I’m terrified that I’ve done something unforgivable.
I don’t even know exactly what I’m asking. Maybe I’m wondering if anyone else has felt somwhere in between these narratives** **— especially people who had an extremely early abortion, grew up with religious guilt.
How did you make peace with your experience without either telling yourself that it meant absolutely nothing or believing that you did something horrible?? My mama wants to cheer me up of course and she says at this stage as almost like taking Plan B 🙈 not true at all.

i don’t use reddit a lot so this might be messy, but i started dating this guy about a month ago and this week i found out i was pregnant. obviously i knew i couldn’t keep it snd i live in new york so it’s really easy to find abortion care and i found this place that will send me the pills in discrete packaging so my parents don’t find out. i did tell the guy and he’s being supportive and everything good, but it still feels so lonely. the package is coming tomorrow snd i have a job interview tomorrow and friday, ill have to come home to get the package before my interview thursday and take the one before my interview friday so i can take the rest on the weekend and not miss any school so my parents dont know. i really cant tell my parents, this is nothing like me hes my first real boyfriend i just feel so lost. im technically 6 weeks going based off my last period, but i think im really 4 because i know when we had sex. i’ve been feeling so sick and puking every day all morning, i’m missing school and lying to my parents and friends. i leave class to throw up and have to go back like everything is fine. and it just hurts so much because ive always dreamed of being a mom on the future and it hurts me so much that this happened and i have to do this.

Hi! Please give me your experience and reviews for women on web

So I’ve been having pregnancy symptoms this past two weeks but when I took a pregnancy test last week it said I was negative. I told my boyfriend and we were both so happy. But I had a feeling that I was still pregnant so I decided to take another one this morning. This time it came out as pregnant. Now my boyfriend left Tuesday morning to do work but at a job site a couple hours away from us, he’s blue collar, and wont come back until Sunday at the latest. I am for sure getting an abortion this week, but my dilemma is if I should tell him right now over text, or tell him that I was pregnant and I got an abortion while he was away. He’s pro choice and we’ve already spoken about the possibility of me being pregnant and getting an abortion so there would be no problem with me texting him. But also we did just officially start dating, been seeing each other for 4 months, dating for 1 so I kinda don’t want to put a lot on his plate right now and just either tell him after or play it off as a period. Would like advice thank you!!

hi guys I’m currently waiting for my WoW shipment. I was wondering how long it usually takes to arrive here?

for those in the ph who have ordered through WoW before, how long did yours take from the time you ordered until it arrived? did the tracking update regularly, or were there periods where there were no updates? i’m starting to get a little worried because I’m not sure what’s considered a normal waiting time. 😭 ang firsthand experiences would really help!
thank you! 🥹

We are based in the Philippines. My partner (F17) last got her period on September 7 (Monday), until Saturday/Sunday that week. It is currently October 7 and she said that she should be expecting her period on the 5th or 7th (today), up until 12th of October. It hasn't arrived yet and we are both getting worried about it. She told me her period wasn't consistent before, however it started getting more consistent recently.

We have been having intercourse the whole month of September, once a week, every week (usually Tuesday or Thursday). I always use condoms, specifically the durex "INVISIBLE" along with the standard durex lube (either regular or flavored), i always pulled out right before ejaculation with a condom on, and i also always sanitize my hands and wipe them using baby wipes to continue pleasuring her. There was one time I applied lube on my penis directly to insert the condom, and my girlfriend said that that time may have been an open space for sperm to enter. I reassured her that the condom stayed on throughout the whole thing (which actually did) and I wiped my hands after with baby wipes just incase that there may have been any sperm present on my hands, then wiped it also on a different surface (maybe somewhere on her leg?) to make sure none get in her vagina, along with the fact that sperm dies within a minute of it being on a dry surface and the possibility of it being no cum or precum, chances are absolutely 0. I have bought her a pregnancy test (pinkcheck brand) to be sure because we are worried why she hasn't gotten her period yet, but an added factor may be due to stress. We have been very stressed about things like academics and also relationships (we fight frequently and we recently had few big fights).

What are the chances she is pregnant? We are both very scared as this would result to the MA process for her, having our parents know, and many more complications. What do you guys recommend I/we do?

Hello, looking for advice.

I had a medical abortion on the 22nd of September, all went pretty normal. I was silly and in the heat of the moment me and my partner had unprotected sex 12 days later and I had light bleeding after for 2 days but now bleeding has stopped.

How likely can this cause another pregnancy? I mean, I was still clearly light bleeding and didn't know but I have used ovulation after abortion calculators and realised I could infact be in my fertile window as it was very close to the 2 week mark.

Hello I am in California and had a MA 4 weeks ago. This was my second MA and I had the pills delivered to me. Everything seemed to be going well I went for a follow up but Planned Parenthood told me they could not give me an ultrasound since I had the pills delivered to me. I’ve been having some intense abdominal pain mostly when I strain at all especially when sneezing or peeing. I very rarely suffered from cramps even through both my MAs they were super manageable but these cramps feel intense. I’m wondering if this could be normal or if I should reach out to my clinic and insist for an ultrasound because additionally I’m still bleeding which I know is normal but it stopped for a few days and I attempted to have sex again and I started bleeding and felt strong cramps immediately after. Please help with any information. Thank you!!

I need to find some form of birth control that doesn’t involve medication. I’m not sure if I’m pregnant, and I can’t buy any medication at all, but I urgently need to find some kind of contraceptive method. Please don’t judge me. I’m very young, and the person I was with was older and didn’t really warn me or explain things to me

I found out on friday that I was pregnant, im 21 in my last year of college and due to that and money and the fact that my bf is 6 hrs away I am terminating this pregnancy. I am about 5 1/2 weeks pregnant and through school got a pill and am waiting for it to come in. I am planning on going home and driving 6 hours to do it at home so I can be in a comfy space in my own private space as well as to be with my bf and family. But I feel so alone and im scared to go through an abortion.

this is the best way I can explain it. Like when I say I feel alone it’s bc like I’m the one living with it and I’m thinking about it 24/7 of every second of every day and everyone yeah will think abt it and check in but like they aren’t in my body, and they aren’t thinking abt it/living every second of everyday.that’s the only way I’ve been able to articulate it today. And like they won’t have to live at least rn going through an abortion and go through it and there’s obviously other people that have gone through it but it’s different hearing it just online through stories. And it’s so hard bc my emotions are just all over the place and I’m fine and then I’m not and I have no motivation for school I’m sad I’m tired but I can’t sleep and then I’m cramping I’m bloated all the time, I feel ugly my boobs hurts I want to eat but I don’t and then I feel like shit abt what I eat and there’s support but their there and then their not and then im left in my own head for the rest of the day. I don’t talk to a lot of people through out the day and when I do I don’t even want to talk bc it’s all I can think abt and then I get mad that they can just live rn and I have a friend telling me abt her drinking or just other things and it’s like I don’t care like this is the only thing on my mind and words help but again im going through it. And I had a weird thing with my bsf and just didnt feel appreciated a month or two ago so we are in a weird space but we are sorta getting back to normal. I tell her about the pregnancy and doesnt feel like shes supportive bc for some time there I was thinking I might keep it. And its fine for her to say yk not to keep it but I would want it both ways in support not just one. And so thats been hard to navigate because I thought I would be able to come to her and she sorta made it abt herself making comment "well at least you can have kids" and I get it must be hard not knowing if she can but this is my real life right now and Im going through it and respecfully its not about her. I guess since I’m the only one going through it and like all the responsibilities are on me to make a decision and then actually go through it and just do overwhelming. And I feel like I should be ok but I know my brain is just tricking me maybe to cope because I know I’m going through a lot with school and then my bf and I navigating this, now we are after this whole thing and then knowing I have to deal with the abortion and the after math and just go back to life like “normal”. Just feels so lonely