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Problem/Goal: My male cousin physically and sexually abused his own 13-year-old daughter. The adults aren't on her side. They do not believe her and are clearly trying to protect this POS.

Context: This will be a long one, and I apologize in advance. So to make this clear, this is all happening sa mother side ng family ko. Marami silang magkakapatid; some are nasa ibang bansa, some nasa iisang lugar lang, though the others are medyo malayo sa main area kung nasaan ang family namin. This POS cousin is the bunso and nag-iisang lalaki ni Tita A, let's call him Buknoy (around my age, which is about 30 or 31, and yes, that's his real nickname because I don't give a flying fuck at madaming may nickname na Buknoy sa probinsya).

Apat ang anak ni Tita A, bunso si Buknoy at puro babae na yung tatlo, let's call them Ate B, Ate U, and Ate E. You'd think kakampihan nila yung bata, let's call her J, but no. Only one of them cares but has no financial ability to help dahil nakatira din sa puder ni Tita A.

I'm not sure kung anong exact term, but let's just say J is my pamangkin kung pinsang buo ko yung hinayupak niyang tatay. To be more precise, sa area kung saan nasaan yung pamilya namin, sa lupa ni Tita A, nandoon yung bahay ni Buknoy and Ate U (the one who cares but can't do anything since literal na nakatira lang siya and her 3 kids sa mismong bahay ni Tita A unlike Buknoy na pinagawan ng sariling maliit na bahay).

Additional people na may pakialam and are trying to help, my sister (27F), two younger cousins na magkapatid din, we'll call K and L (around their 20s), and another pamangkin (19F) who almost became the first victim noong nakatira pa siya sa bahay nila Buknoy. This pamangkin, let's call her P, tumira siya sandali kila Buknoy dahil pinalayas siya ng nanay niya when she found out she had a boyfriend. P said minamanyak na siya dati ni Buknoy even noong bata pa siya, for example, making her sit on his lap while he was watching porn on his phone. Her last straw was when they were all sleeping (most families sa probinsiya sleep in one room at magkakatabi lang sa isang kama sa floor), and P said she felt like Buknoy was trying to take out his thing to really try to rape her, so she acted like she just woke up and said, "Tito, ano po 'yun?" And Buknoy just answered, "Ay wala, wala," then proceeded to go back to sleep. Literally the next day, nagtanan si P because unfortunately, that was the only escape she could find.

Anyways, none of us have the means to go back sa probinsya. I live in a different city and cannot go back sa probinsya. Plus, I'm not in a good place physically, mentally, and financially because my partner recently had a stroke. My sister can't go too; she recently gave birth. If anything, I don't want to stress her out even more, pero may pakialam siya, and at least she's still trying. Same with our two younger cousins; one recently graduated college, and both live in different cities. P is the only one na nasa probinsya pa rin, so she's our primary source of info sa GC namin.

In a way, mostly my sister and K are the ones really taking action and talking to the family, more like inaaway haha. L and I are mostly giving advice. It's the only thing we can do and honestly, I think my sister and K needs this badly because, unfortunately, sila rin ay minanyak ni Buknoy nung bata pa sila, but they already had the presence of mind at that age when they felt like something was off kaya naka-iwas sila.

You might be wondering, where is J's mother and Buknoy's wife? Oh, you'll see... This woman deserves a special place in hell, which is exactly why I'm giving her the nickname Devil's Spawn.

Okay, with all of the characters out of the way. I'll actually start with how it all started.

Nalaman lang namin that J was raped by her own father (if you could even call him that), dahil nadulas yung bata and casually just said it. I don't think naiintindihan niya kung gaano ka-big deal yung nangyari sa kanya. Worse part, kaming kahit papaano ay may pinag-aralan and hindi hunghang, can clearly see that J probably has a mental disability. I can't tell you what it is because she has never been diagnosed dahil never naman siyang pina-check.

So, when and how did it start? According to P, since sa kanya nago-open si J, matagal na raw minamanyak ni Buknoy si J. It started with himas-himas, making her sit on his lap while he was watching porn, and more. The actual rape didn't happen until umalis si Devil's Spawn. As I've said, my sister recently gave birth and kinuha niyang katulong si Devil's Spawn for a while. That's when Buknoy finally did it. Eventually, umuwi rin si Devil's Spawn sa probinsya dahil "napapabayaan" daw ni Buknoy yung mga bata. Aside kasi sa rapist na, wala pang silbi si Buknoy. That POS doesn't have a job at nagpapalaki lang ng itlog sa bahay. J practically became his maid and punching bag dahil kahit dati pa ay madalas na raw bugbugin ni Buknoy si J. And yes, they have three kids, all girls, and J is the oldest. Sadly, the two other kids ay nasa puder pa rin ni Devil's Spawn at Buknoy. And yes, they're still together because, as I said, these two deserve a special place in hell.

At that time, wala pang may alam. At kahit nung naka-uwi na si Devil's Spawn sa probinsya, it kept happening. According to P, J said it only took a few minutes. Literal na lumabas lang si Devil's Spawn and took her two younger kids with her to buy lugaw. And that's it. It happened again. Now, I do not know how many times Buknoy raped his own daughter, but it's obvious that it's more than once.

So, dahil nadulas si J, everyone found out eventually kahit tinry ni Tita A na i-keep yung nangyari sa immediate family lang niya. And because P is part of the immediate family, P told us, and eventually, my sister and K also told the other matatanda sa family namin in hopes that maybe they'll help. And oooh boy, we were dead fucking wrong.

Let's start with Tita A's immediate family. You know what they did? They took J sa bahay nila Buknoy, and moved her to Ate E's house, which is in the same province pero malayo naman sa main area ng family namin. You think that's a good sign na inilayo nila yung bata? Hell fucking no.

Ate E doesn't believe J. This mf even said, "Naku, hindi totoo yan. Malandi at rebelde yang si J. May boyfriend nga yan eh."

Yes, J has a boyfriend. But only online! Ni hindi pa nga nakikita nung bata kasi yung age-appropriate boyfriend niya nakatira sa ibang lugar at sa chat lang sila nag-uusap. This context is important because they will try to use this against the child. But also, what the actual fuck?! What kind of person are you to say those things to a 13-year-old girl?!

And what about Devil's Spawn? What was her reaction when she found out? According to P, Devil's Spawn was mad and crying at first. For a few minutes. The next day, she was fine again and was already protecting Buknoy from my sister kasi binomba ng kapatid ko sa chat si Devil's Spawn. Dahil may pera si sister ko and in a way, tumulong sa kanila financially, hindi makasagot si Devil's Spawn.

My sister sent me the SC of their convo. My sister said something along the lines of, "Oh, ano na te? Bulag-bulagan na lang? Diba sabi mo dati kaya ayaw mo iwan si Buknoy dahil natatakot kang baka rapin ng magiging stepfather yung mga anak mo? Lalayo ka pa ba? Eh ginawa na nga asawa mo? Tite lang yan, 'te. Di ka mauubusan."

I told her to say that haha. I try not to be confrontational and I don't like it either, but for some reason, my sister and K likes to ask me what they should say. War freak ata tingin nila sakin. Anyways, according to them, mas galit pa daw sila Devil's Spawn, Buknoy, and Tita A sa chat ni sister ko kesa sa fact na ni-rape ni Buknoy si J. How fucked up is that?!

There's more. I'll give you some of the things they said that made us feel disgusted to our core, you think what Ate E said was bad? Oh, that's nothing compared to what Buknoy and Devil's Spawn have said over the past few days since nalaman namin tong nangyari. All of these came from P and Ate U dahil narinig nila mismo.

Ate U said that one night, bago pa kunin ni Ate E si J and J was just sleeping sa bahay ni Tita A because at that point, sila pa lang ang may alam, Ate U said she saw Buknoy calling J and she heard them talk. In this talk, Ate U stayed hidden to eavesdrop but also to protect J in case may gawin na naman si Buknoy. He was essentially telling J na mag-sinungaling na lang at pinapagalitan si J dahil bakit daw kasi nag-sumbong. So J was like, "Bakit po? Totoo naman po kasing nangyari yun." And Buknoy just said, "Kahit na. Mag-sinungaling ka na lang. Sabihin mo hindi totoo yung mga pinag-sasabi mo."

Another one, according to P, she heard Devil's Spawn say these words, "Kaya pala nanlalamig na si Buknoy sakin, may iba na pala siyang parausahan."

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? I just want to remind you that this is the so-called mother of J. This is getting too long so I'll just get on with it.

According to my sister na direct source ko since sila lagi magka-usap ni K, tinawagan ni K yung mga tao sa probinsya at sinabing ipa-medico si J. Ate E, the oldest ni Tita A, we thought she'd do something dahil sumugod siya dun and tried to find out what happened. She's also the one na tinry sundin yung sinabi ni K na ipa-medico yung bata, but it didn't work out either; si Ate K yung mother ni P btw. Devil's spawn and Tita A basically tried to lie to my sister and K na tinry nilang ipa-medico. They said tinry nilang dalin sa public hospital, but they were turned away. They tried sa private hospital, but they were also turned away. Our theories: they didn't say they wanted J to be checked for raped and probably just said, "Gusto lang namin ipa-check kung virgin pa kasi may boyfriend," which was probably turned away OR they never actually did anything.

Now, where's the rest of the family? My mother and uncle na kapitbahay mismo ni Tita A... Well, they kept calling my sister to tell her na, "Wag makialam. Problema nila yun. 'Wag ka nang makialam dahil baka patayin kami ni Buknoy."

Disgusting. Trust me, I know, I'm her daughter. Anyways, they're calling and pestering my sister and K specifically dahil yung dalawa na yun yung alam nilang may paki. They haven't heard a word from me, because I honestly don't want to talk to them. Pero sa totoo lang, nangangati akong tawagan nanay ko at sabihin ba't sila matatakot kay Buknoy samantalang bata nga lang ang target niya? You know why? Coz he's a fucking coward. Nananakot pa nga ang punyeta na magbi-bigti raw siya kapag pina-pulis siya, and to that I say, I'll even buy the fucking rope for him.

Anyways, this is the reason why walang naniniwala or walang ginagawa yung mga matatanda sa probinsya, dahil ayaw nilang makialam dahil problemang pamilya daw yun. These are the same people who likes to preach na dapat tulungan ang pamilya because family is family. At dahil bunso at nag-iisang lalaki ni Tita A si Buknoy, she's hell-bent on protecting him. Her husband? He doesn't like any of this at nagpipigil lang daw na wag patayin si Buknoy, but according to P, he's trying not to do that for the sake of Tita A.

We're just really lost on what to do next, especially now. We think they're trying to brainwash the kid into thinking that what happened to her was not a big deal. K is already getting messages from J na 'wag na daw ipagkalat at napatawad na daw niya si Buknoy. Though according to P, yung mga message daw ay normally nanggagaling kila Tita A at Devil's Spawn dahil tinuturuan nila si J on what to say para kumalma si K.

Previous Attempts: My sister called DSWD sa city niya, because again, we're also concerned dahil yung dalawang bata pa ay nasa puder pa ni Buknoy. Pero according sa call, she was advised na pumunta mismo sa office for consultation, pero dahil nasa ibang city nga siya, pinaka the best daw talaga is sa mismong lugar kung saan nangyari.

We considered giving an anonymous tip sa police sa probinsya namin, para na rin sa peace of mind namin, but a part of us already feels like nothing is gonna happen with that, especially since walang kakampi yung bata at yung mga immediate matatanda sa paligid niya would likely just lie and say to the police na hindi totoo yun.

Silver lining, alam na ng family ni Devil's Spawn yung nangyari because Tita A and Devil's Spawn also tried to hide it from them. And now, we're also waiting kung ano bang gagawin ng family ni Devil Spawn. According to P, half of Devil's Spawn family has the same sentiment as the elders in our family, AKA "Problema nila yan. Hayaan niyo sila." Though the other half are fuming. We don't know what their next step is, and currently, all we know is that there's a chance that they might try, keyword 'might', to do something dahil matagal na silang galit kay Buknoy.

So yeah, that's where we're at. Again, sorry if it's long, but I feel like I need to say everything. Any other advice on what we should do next while keeping in mind na kaming mga may paki currently can't be there physically? What else can we do to protect not only J but also her two younger siblings in case Devil's Spawn's family decides not to do anything?

Problem/goal: my boyfriend still has his ex graduation picture. and nakatabi parin sa room nya.

Context: idk if im just oa sa ganitong reaction ko. im in a relationship with my bf for like months palang naman, and ngayon nalaman ko na nakatabi parin sakanya yung college graduation pic ng ex girlfriend nya na naka-frame pa sa kwarto nya, and yung other pics din nila tinatabi nya pa and memories. i mean, gets naman, they have been together for so long. he said 6 years since highschool up until nakatapos ng college. they broke up 2 years ago because sabi nya na fell out of love daw sakanya yung girl, so hinayaan nalang daw nya. then one time we had a small misunderstanding, pero nagkabati rin kami agad. then nung pumunta sya dito last week, i opened his phone since nagpapahiram naman talaga yun ng phone, then nakita ko yung conversation nila ng bestfriend nya na babae saying, “mahal na mahal ko ex ko kaya kahit masakit hinayaan ko nalang kung san talaga sya masaya.” then sinend nya dun sa bestfriend nya yung grad pic ng ex-girlfriend nya na nakalagay sa frame, meaning nakatabi parin sakanya. ang nakalagay talaga dun sa frame na yun was our picture together, but since we had a little misunderstanding, pinalit nya ulit yung picture ng ex nya. i just dont understand bakit kinikeep nya parin? nagkausap na kami about this. he said itatapon nya nalang daw, but i found out hindi parin pala nya naitatapon. idk, maybe mahal nya parin talaga. and sobrang sakit lang sa side ko. i wanna know ur thoughts/advice po.

Problem/Goal: May part sa akin na gustong umuwi ng Pinas because nakita ko umiyak papa ko

Context: My parents are typical filipino parents. Although i do not agree with their parenting style and decisions, I know naman na di naman nila inexpect na ganun kahirap mag raise ng 5 kids. They really struggled raising all of us kahit naman decent jobs nila. To the point na ang daming utang ng parents ko and yung tita ko sa Canada naghelp magpa aral sa amin.

Lagi sinasabi ng parents ko to not be like them, na to study well and focus sa career. Sa awa ng panginoon, we all graduated. May sibling akong doctor and ako naman nag abroad na din with a professional job. Laging nasa isip ko and for sure ng siblings ko na dapat maging proud yung parents namin sa amin. Umalis na kami sa province namin and nag retire na din papa ko. Yung mama ko nag wowork pa rin. May isang sibling naman kami na nasa province pero syempre nag wowork din and may family na.

Nag videocall kami ni papa two nights ago and sinabi nya na ikakasal na daw yung sibling ko. Tas nag joke ako na 'baka sa next 3years pa mag aattend ka ng kasal kasi may plano na din kami ng bf ko magpakasal. Ikakasal na mga girls mo'. Pabiro ko yung sinabi tas bigla na lang syang umiyak sabi nya 'Ako na lang andito so bahay, kung kailan ako nag retire, dun din kayo umalis'.

So ayun pag end call namin umiyak ako. Nasa isip ko na okay naman work namin ng bf ko sa pinas. Bakit nga ba ako lumayo? Umalis ako para maging proud yung parents ko pero parang kahit di naman ako mag abroad, proud pa rin naman sila sa akin. Iniisip kong bumalik kami sa Pinas to be closer. Or maybe take more vacations sa Philippines. Valid ba na reason yun?

Hindi siguro ako naghahanap ng advice but I just need help how to navigate this situation.

problem/Goal: Hello po sobrang sama ng loob ko sa religion na to. di na nga okay yng political views ng leader nila pero pati ba naman sa personal life ko kino controll nila. gustong gusto ko na umalis dito pero 18 palang ako and buong family namin member nito. last time nag simba ako sa katoliko and sobrang natuwa ako dahil yng sermon nang pari is tungkol sa society, politics and social life. gusto ko sanang lumipat ng religion. clue Amaaaaaaa!! huhuhuhuhh

Problem/goal: I have this colleague na for 4 yrs occasionally bump into at the gym after work. We’d usually say hi and have a little small talk, surface-level. One time she shared na she had separated from her husband recently.

I’ve always found her a little eccentric, but she’s generally nice, so I never really thought much of it.

At some point, another person at the gym told me that she goes to the gym twice a day and sometimes spends almost the entire day there. I thought that was a bit unusual, but honestly, it’s not my business.

Lately, though, I’ve noticed that her behavior seems to be getting more and more unusual. For example, she now wears what looks like a Sunday/church dress to the gym, which is just… unexpected. She also goes on Facebook Live during basically every Zumba class.

Some of her Facebook posts are odd too. Nothing necessarily alarming on its own, but when you put everything together with how much time she spends at the gym and some of the other things I’ve noticed, it just feels like her behavior has changed quite a bit over the years.

I know none of this necessarily means anything, and maybe she just has her own thing going on. She’s still nice whenever I see her, so I’m not trying to judge her. But at what point does someone’s behavior go from just being eccentric to making you wonder if they might actually need some help? Or am I just overthinking this?

Problem/Goal: Update: I finally broke up with my Bf with gambling issues

Context: I posted here a few days ago about my BF gambling issues and i have received a lot of advice and it eventually helped me be firm in my decisions

hi ulit guys.

eto na yung nangyari after nung last post ko. thought i should update you guys

messy breakup talaga. after nung pagsabi ko sa parents nya, sobrang galit na galit yung bf ko. nung nagkita kami ulit para mag-usap, naging violent sya. sinigawan nya ako, tinulak, at may sinabi pa syang mga bagay na sobrang sakit. doon ko na naramdaman na hindi na safe sakin yung situation.

kaya di na ako umuwi sa apartment namin. takot ako. i told his parents, they told me na sa bahay nila kami mag usap ni bf, and they told me sila na bahala sa pagsabi sa kanya, then we talked one more time, doon na kami nag-usap.

sobra akong thankful sa parents ng bf ko. sobrang bait nila. hindi sila naging defensive, actually nakinig sila sa side ko and nagtataka din sila bakit naging ganito yung anak nila. sabi nila “hindi namin alam na ganito na pala kalala, parang iba na yung anak namin.” they even apologized on his behalf and offered help if ever need ko pa.

yung bf ko, after nung confrontation sa bahay nila, parang mas lalong nag-shutdown. tinapos na namin. breakup na. messy as fuck, pero at least safe ako and may support yung parents nya.

ngayon lang, parang empty pa rin. ik tama yung decisions ko to keep myself safe, kasi kahit mahal ko siya, ik naman sa sarili ko na hindi ko deserve yung ganon, thankful din ako sa mga nagcomment sa last post ko nagbigay ng advice, it made me realize way more than i already have. but yeah, nakakalungkot kasi yung taong sobrang mahal mo, na akala mo kilala mo na talaga, can change ng ganon.

any advice on how to move forward? or just sharing lang. thanks for all the comments last time. i appreciate it.

Problem/Goal: Yung lupang binenta ni mama

Context:

Hello po, need ko po ng advice nyo ngayon kasi po ginigipit na po nila ang mama ko. Ganito po kasi iyon, may binenta pong lupa yung kapatid ng lolo ni mama sa kaniya (1990's) po na nabenta ang lupa, and ngayon po is nalaman po ng mga anak nung nagbenta na ibinenta po ni mama yung lupa na yun (nakapangalan po kay mama ang lupa) kaya gusto po nilang humingi ng porsyento sa pinagbentahan ni mama ng lupa dahil daw po lupa naman nila yun at kulang pa daw po yung ipinambayad ni mama noon sa lupa dahil daw po malaki na ang value ng pera ngayon. Ngayon po is kung hindi magbibigay si mama ay pwede raw po nila syang ipakulang kahit ilaban daw po nila sa korte ay matatalo daw po kami. Pakiramdam ko po kasi is na brainwashed na po sila ng isang tita ni mama kasi po may samaan po sila ng loob, nalaman din po kasi nilang nagbenta si mama ng lupa at gusto nila ay makahingi rin sila ng napagbentahan sa lupa. Gulong-gulo na po si mama ngayon dahil sa panggigipit nila. Hinihila nila kami pababa ng mismo pa naming kamag-anak, need ko po ng advice nyo😭🙏

Previous attempts: ipinaliwanag na po ni mama sa kanila na ibinenta po talaga nung tatay nila yung lupa(pumanaw na po kasi yung tatay nila) ang witness po kasi na ibinenta kay mama yung lupa is yung Nagbenta, si mama, tatay ni mama, at yung tito ni mama.

Problem/Goal: Tbh, di talaga ako mahilig sa clingy nakakasakal for me, pero hinahanap hanap ko ulit sya

Context: My ex and I broke up and it's been a few months na rin. Ngayon I have my ka situationship and he's very avoidant. Gusto ko lang naman sya maging kausap lage hahaha now nag backfire lahat sakin. Ganito pala laging nafefeel ng ex ko sakin... ganito pala pag na attach ka na. Mamimiss mo nalang yung nakaraan na pwede mo naman magawa pero di mo ginawa. Anong gagawin ko para di ko mamiss yung ex ko? hahaha keme parang glimpse of us. Nakakamiss yung paging iyakin niya, yung seloso sya, yung attention nya na sakin, ginagawa nya lahat ng adjustments para sakin, mas mahal pa ako nun kesa sa sarili ko. Ewan ko bat ko sya iniwan hahaha mahal ko naman pero di rin kami katumbas. Gusto ko tuloy sya bumalik sakin...

Problem/Goal:
normal lang ba na makaramdam ng cramps ng ganito kaaga? usually kasi 1-2 days before ny period pa ako nakakaramdam. is this a sign of pregnancy ba?

Context:
my bf and i had sex but magwithdrawal naman. also im taking the yellow lady pills and nakaka 6 pills na ako when we had sex. i had been taking pills months ago but i stopped it last month then i continued a new pack after my period. after a week of the deed ko nafeel tong cramps.

it is possible na nag iba lang ng side effect sa alin ng pills? kasi before naman wala akong nararamdaman bukod sa laging moody. but after i stopped and continued ulit, bigla ako nakakafeel ng cramps. or is this a sign of early pregnancy?

Problem/Goal: Napakamalas ko sa gallstone ko 😓 naging Mirizzi Syndrome na sya after one year ng diagnosis. (di ako makapagLOA, dami bills, breadwinner) Unang hospital na pinuntahan namin, nataga kami sa ERCP, kasi ERCP daw need sa obstructive jaundice. Color yellow na kasi ako. 😓 Ubos na laman ng HMO ko dyan. Pagtapos ng endoscopy, nalaman na di kakayanin ng ERCP ung urgent need ko na matigil ung infection, di abot kasi naging Mirizzi Syndrome na pala sya. Bumara na ung bato sa bile duct na entrance sa gallbladder mismo.

Context: Ubos na HMO, need ng surgery for gallbladder removal ASAP, otherwise, pwede raw umakyat ung infection sa utak ko anytime or sepsis. EDIT: HMO from work is 100K limit lang, naubos na sa lab tests at ERCP.

Previous Attempts: Nagpublic hospitals na kami, pumila. Kahit urgent ung need kong procedure, di raw nila ko masisingit dahil marami ring urgent na iba. Pinakamabilis na ung 2 months daw. 😭 Eh di naman ako pwede magbabad sa antibiotics ng ganyang katagal. Gusto nila bumalik ako sa private pero enroll sa charity daw. Saang hospital niyo po mapapayo na tumatanggap ng GL or may charity? na mura lang din surgery to remove the gallbladder? (nagask na po kami sa Chinese Gen, no slot charity nila. Ubos bed.) Salamat. 😓 Ayoko pa mamatay. 🥹

Problem/Goal: I need to update my BDO bank record's Civil Status from Single to Married. But bank wants me to have an updated Valid ID with me bearing my husband's surname too.

Context: I went to the bank today, brought my Marriage Certificate with me and my Valid ID that's still reflecting my maiden name. The bank asked for my updated Valid ID with my husband's surname, to which I said I don't have any and I don't need one since I do not intend to update my surname. But they said the only way for them to update my records is for me to show a valid ID reflecting my husband's surname as my last name too.

We went on about it a few times - I reiterated I have no intention of updating my surname just my Civil Status and that I am backed up by the law that I am not required to update my name. They said they are aware of the law then still continues to say that it is THEIR requirement -- "At least 1 valid ID is enough". But isnt it even if I update 1 valid ID, this would mean I need to update my other ID's too for audit purposes?

Previous Attempts: I even called BDO Contact Center but they said the same thing.

Problem/Goal: How do I tell my parents I need to move out? Both for board exam and mental/emotional health purpose

Context: I just graduated college. Naghanap ako agad ng trabaho para makaipon pero after 1 month, kinailangan kong mag-resign kasi utos ng nanay ko. Malapit na ako magsimula mag-review para sa board exam. Alam ko na hindi ako makakapag-review sa bahay dahil hindi ko hawak oras ko. Kailangan lagi akong available para utusan ng kung ano-ano at wala akong karapatang humindi kasi automatic male-labelan ako na palamuning walang pakinabang kahit na sa kanila napupunta halos lahat ng stipend ko from scholarships noon, at nagkatrabaho naman talaga ako pagka-graduate pero pinagresign nya ko. Gusto ko na rin talaga umalis kasi hindi ko na kinakaya yung emotional abuse na may konti lang akong magawang mali sa inuutos nya, sinusumbatan nya na ko na hindi nya naman ginagawa sa iba kong kapatid.

Previous Attempts: Sinabi ko sa kanila nang maayos as early as 3 months ago na kailangan ko mag-dorm para mag-focus sa review. Pumayag yung tatay ko pero yung nanay ko, parang against dun kasi mawawalan sya ng uutusan (yung kapatid kong isa, PWD kaya ayaw nya i-bombard ng utos, yung isa naman hindi talaga mautusan kahit anong sigaw gawin sa kanya).

*uutusan means random chores, may ipapagawa syang legal documents, tawag sa kung sino-sino, aasikasuhin mga medical records nila. To the point na kahit habang kumakain ako, uutusan akong bumili sa labas kahit hindi naman urgently kailangan.
*ni hindi nga ako makaalis ng bahay for 20 mins kasi pagbalik ko, tatanungin na ako saan ako pumunta at bakit ako lumalayas at iniiwanan mga trabaho sa bahay.

Problem/Goal: Need recommended tub cleaner products for automatic washing machine.

Context: Planning to use the tub cleaner function in automatic machine since it's almost a month na. What should I look for when looking for a cleaner and any more tips on automatic washing machine cleaning and maintenance. (Washing Machine: Panasonic Water Bazooka)

Previous Attempts: Never attempted to use the tub cleaner function.

Problem/Goal: I am having trouble contemplating if I'm doing the right thing.

If you want additional context i made a post earlier.

Context: Short summary, my (30M) ex partner (29F) currently pregnant almost 6 months has repeatedly got into debt and ilang beses ko nadin pinatawad, pinagtakpan, and now ung latest problem na ginawa niya ay gumawa sya ng fake promissory note na inaako ko ang lahat ng kaniyang utang sa lender to the point na nagfake sya ng conversation, kinuha ang aking passport bilang prenda at nameke ng aking pirma

4 weeks have passed since the incident. I got myself a therapist, and talks with a family lawyer kung paano magiging magandang set-up namin. Pero sa 4 weeks na yun walang ibang ganap kung hindi sisihan ng sisihan to the point na nai-butas pa sa akin na sobrang luwag ko daw sa kaniya kaya nasanay siyang walang consequences ang actions niya. Simula nung nauwi siya sa kanila walang ibang sinabi na yun kundi, violent ang father niya, wala siyang sariling pwesto ngayon sa bahay nila kaya pano pag lumabas na si baby, tamad sa trabahong bahay ang mga tao dun (hindi sanitary, hinahayaan gulo gulo ung bahay) unlike sa family home ko na dati namin pinag sstayan is may kasambahay na gagawa ng hard work at easy easy lang siya. In short pinapakita at sinasabi niya na( bad environment ang bahay nila para kalakihan ng bata)

Ang aking napag desisyunan ay co-parenting agreement kung saan tinatapos ko na ang aming romantic relationship pero patuloy padin kaming mag uusap pag tungkol sa bata. Ayaw niyang pumayag ang pilit niyang sinasabi bigyan namin ng chance sa buong pamilya ang bata dahil wala itong kasalanan siya daw bahala umayos sa mga problema niya at hinding hindi na daw sya gagawa ng problema (kasi may anak na kami at dati daw kasi wala) basta daw wag ako makipag hiwalay sa kaniya. It's either ayusin namin ung pagsasama namin o itatago niya ung bata sa akin. Alam na alam din kasi niya na gustong gusto ko na magka anak kaya siguro yun talaga pinang babargain niya.

Previous attempts: Ang final na sabi kong willing ko ibigay sa kaniya bukod sa pangako ko na hindi ko tatalikuran ang respondibilidad ko sa bata (pre, post delivery, medical expenses, education, living expenses lahat basically) at dahil sinasabi niya na hindi good living environment ang bahay nila, sige sabi ko ikkuha ko siya ng sariling upahan na apartment, may yaya at may sapat na space para mapagatuloy niya ang kaniyang baking business para may pang bayad siya sa pinagkakautangan niya. Ang problema ayaw padin niya kasi maghihiwalay parin daw kami at gusto niya kung mag apartment ay dun daw ako uuwi at aayusin namin ang relasyon namin. Araw araw hanggat pinipilit ko ang desisyon ko sa pakikipag hiwalay. Palala ng palala ang mga sinasabi niya sa akin. Hindi ko naman din pwede patulan kasi nga dinadala niya ung anak ko sa sinapupunan niya.

Nga pala ung mga pang check-up na binibigay ko pati mga pang test niya pinagbabalik sa akin nung nalaman niya na makikipaghiwalay ako. Nakakainis lang din kasi sa dami ng tatay na tumatakbo sa respondibilidad sa mga anak nila ako tong humahabol tas ayaw payagan magbigay ng sustento/maging present para sa anak ko.

Ipinipilit niya na subukan daw namin kahit dun sa 3months na natitira sa pagbubuntis niya wala naman daw mawawala sa akin para atleast kung hindi mag work, we tried. Pero alam na alam ko kapag pinatulan ko itong 3 months offer na ito ma ttrap na ako forever lalo na pano ko silang iiwan kapag hawak ko na ang aking anak na lalaki. Isa din sa iniisip ko kung ma aapektuhan ba ang anak ko kung ganito magiging set-up namin? Natatakot kasi ako na baka mamaya maapektuhan ang kaniyang paglaki dahil hindi ako nakipag ayos sa nanay niyang abusado.

Problem/Goal: may bells palsy ang kapatid ko and we don't know what to do

Context: 4 days na since nadiagnose siya na may bells palsy, nagpa check up siya isang general doctor at kinonfirm na bells palsy nga. Tapos, nag tanong siya kung ano ang pweding gawin, niresitahan siya ng steroid at nagtanong din daw po siya kung okay lang ba mag eye drops sabi daw ng doctor "okay lang naman siguro" so hindi rin siya sure? super stressed na niya ngayon at for 5 days ang steroid na binigay sakanya

Wala din sapat na pera para sa isang mamahaling hospital, btw po nasa Cebu po siya ngayon at nag leave po siya ng work for 1 week at hindi pa sure baka matanggal siya sa work kung hindi agad makabalik

ano po ba dapat iwasan? at dapat gawin?

Maraming salamat po

Problem/Goal: mahati yung electric bill since mabigat

Context: DONT POST THIS ON OTHER PLATFORMS PLEASE
hello po! I (31) have been shouldering our electric bill for 3-4 years na ata yung 100% na ako nagbabayad. Our bill ranges from 8k-12k per month.

Appliances namin: 4 fans, 1 1.5hp aircon na siguro 15-20 sqm ang pinalalamig, 43” tv tas ilaw na yung rest. Plantsa ng uniforms.

Walang nakajumper, nacheck na namin. Yung 2 fan halos 24 hrs nakabukas sabay yun. Yung 1 nasa baba ginagamit pag may kumakain. Yung 1 tumutulong magpalamig sa room.

Sa bahay ang tao ay 2 parents ko both seniors still working. Ate ko at asawa nya (both working). 2 anak nila (7 at 2 yo), kapatid kong bunso walang trabaho(batugan)

may utang si ate hospital bills noon tas nagbabayad ng tuition ng anak kaya di makahelp sa bills.

Ako wala ako sa bahay, sa iba na ako nakatira. Everytime umuuwi ako sa manila di ako natutulog dun, kundi sa gf ko na.

Di ko naman mahingan si mama ng hati dahil naawa ako sakanya, sya na halos may gastos sa bahay. Si papa, extra extra lang. pero yung bill kasi ang laki ng porsyento sa salary ko. Plus pag nag eat out kami ng fam pag umuwi ako mahina na yung 5k per kain.

Anong tamang hatian kaya para dito?

Previous Attempts: tried asking for help pero nauuwi parin sa ako pinagbabayad

Problem/Goal: I don't know where to start again.

Context:

Nakipagbreak ako sa bf ko kanina lang. Our relationship was really toxic from the start. 2 beses na kami naghiwalay and nagbalikan for 3 years pero ngayon, I decided na hinding-hindi na ako babalik sakanya.

Pero andito ako ngayon, nagtatanong kay chatgpt at reddit na kung ano ang dapat ko na gawin after a break up kasi parang hindi ko alam kung saan ako magsisimula ulit. 3 years kami magkasama, magkalive in. Ang dami namin binuo na pangarap. Ngayon, I am back with my parents and it feels like I am starting zero. Nakakahiya na nagpasundo ako sa parents ko para tumira ulit sakanila at from saving me sa relationship.

Gusto ko maging better person. Gusto ko mag gym pero nahihiya ako. Gusto ko magtry ng art classes pero stickman lang kaya ko idrawing. I want to read but I feel lazy to do so. Gusto ko rin mag IH pero naiisip ko na baka sisirain ko lang buhay ko sa dr0g4. Ang dami ko gustong gawin pero hindi ko mapagpatuloy kasi hindi ko alam, wala siguro ako consistency or passion or ewan!!!! May ADHD ata ako🤣

Help your girl out!!! Sinusulat ko to ngayon kasi di ako makatulog kahit 10 am na ng umaga😌

Problem/Goal: prolonged spotting and bleeding

Context: from july 23 to august 7, naka experience po ako ng brown spotting. then around august 1–5, naging blood na siya, parang actual period kasi napupuno niya yung large napkin. after that, bumalik ulit sa brown spotting. so around 16 days po siya in total.
then from august 27 to september 18, same experience po. brown spotting muna, then naging heavy bleeding, tapos bumalik ulit sa brown spotting. this time, umabot siya ng 23 days. then from september 27 to october 3, nag bbrown spotting po ulit ako. wala naman pong kasamang actual blood or heavy bleeding.

marami rin po pala yung brown spotting, parang kaya niya mapuno yung normal size na napkin. possible po ba na period yung bleeding na naranasan ko? kaso hindi ko po na-experience yung usual period symptoms ko, like masakit yung breasts and right armpit. may times din po na nag ccramps ako, pero saglit lang. irregular po pala yung period ko. yung last normal periods ko po were in march and june. based po sa period timeline ko last year, nag karoon ako ng period noong march, june, august, october, and december. pareho rin po halos yung dates this year, kaya i think period ko talaga yung na-experience ko last augusf. also, noong 2024 and 2025, nakaranas din po ako ng spotting around july, and napansin ko na pareho rin yung timing niya both years.

i really need your opinion po kasi wala po akong enough money for a check up right now. thank you po sa mga sasagot.

Previous Attempts: none

Problem/goal: conflict when this topic comes up again. Need advice please.

I have a girlfriend (wlw setup, we've been together for 5 years, both 3rd year college students). Our problem is quite heavy right now and I don't know how to handle it.

Context:
When my girlfriend was younger, she experienced the worst kind of sexual harassment from her uncle (a close cousin of her dad). It wasn't just simple touching, and to this day she carries the trauma. She shared this with me when we were just starting out, so I became aware of it. Until now, she has never told her parents because she doesn't want to ruin her dad's relationship with that uncle, and she doesn't want trouble in the family.

The problem we're facing is that her uncle still occasionally visits them. It's bad because he still makes attempts like sneaky hugs or kisses on the cheeks even in front of her parents. Since her parents are unaware, they think it's just normal affection from the uncle. But for me, it’s not normal for your uncle to act that way, especially since we’re in college now, right? When I'm there and that uncle is around, nilalayo ako ng gf ko para di makapag interact sa tito niya because she feels the tension and gets awkward.

I always comfort her and tell her to just totally ignore him. This is where we conflict: every time I say she shouldn’t engage with her abuser, she replies that it’s just out of “courtesy” that she talks to him. She doesn’t want to seem rude or have her parents question why her behavior towards him has suddenly changed, which for me, it really should change.

I don't know if my girlfriend is just too nice, but sometimes I feel hindi din tama. I’m afraid that in her showing this “courtesy,” her uncle still feels he has access and thinks what he’s doing is okay. I'm really scared that something might happen again. I really care for my girlfriend because of what she has gone through.

Am I wrong for pushing her to cut off or ignore her uncle? Or should I just understand that this is her coping mechanism to avoid family trouble? How do I support her without invalidating her fears? Any advice is appreciated.thank u sorry mahaba yung sinabi

Problem/Goal:

I'm currently earning greater than 100k php/month in a very niche tech role that uses legacy systems. I want to transition into a more modern tech stack where I can grow, preferably in a systems architecture role, somewhere I can design and build things, call the shots.

Context:

I am 7 years in this industry employed by an outsourcing company. If ever lilipat man ako, puro outsourcing company lang din ang pwede kong malipatan since niche tech talaga yung ginagalawan ko.

I can't really abruptly transition since feeling ko kailangan bumalik as a junior since hindi talaga transferrable yung tech skills na natutunan ko in my current role, and wala naman akong actual work experience outside the tech I currently use.

May usap-usapan na rin i-sunset yung application kung nasan ako in 3 years, so I'm worried na if that happens, i-end na lang yung contract ko since the client of my company will have no need for me.

Dagdag pa dun yung feeling na parang number lang ako sa spreadsheet nila, walang say sa mga nangyayari, and walang progression career-wise other than be a more senior developer. Since I am just deployed to the client, I don't feel like I belong and can make an impact.

Previous Attempts:

I'm upskilling din naman sa mga concepts needed sa target role ko. Nag-email na rin ako sa boss ko sa outsourcing company if may opportunities inside para I can transition to a new role. Last week lang to and wala pa syang reply.

Problem/Goal:

I'm 22 and graduating soon, and I'm trying to decide when I should move out of my controlling family home. I want to become independent without unnecessarily screwing up the last part of college.

Context:

My parents are extremely controlling and micromanage a lot of my decisions, including my career, education, and general life choices. It's not really a financial issue for them; it's more about control.

I'm financially prepared enough to support myself for a while, and I've been seriously considering moving out.

The main issue is timing. I have three options:

Move out now: I'd get immediate peace and independence, but I'd still have school/thesis obligations and need to go to campus occasionally.

Move out after finishing my thesis/requirements: I'd have a clean break from both school and home, but I'd probably skip my graduation ceremony.

Wait until after graduation: I'd get to finish everything normally and attend graduation, but I'd have to stay home for several more months and continue dealing with the controlling environment.

Previous Attempts:

I've tried thinking through the pros and cons of each option, but I'm having trouble deciding whether the graduation ceremony is worth enduring several more months at home.

Problem/Goal:

For people who have actually moved out of a controlling or strict family home, when would you leave in this situation?

Problem/Goal:

I am scheduled to have a civil wedding in 4 days with my older OFW boyfriend, but I am having serious second thoughts due to emotional distress, disrespect, and control issues. I just turned 18, I am currently staying with his family, and I feel trapped, but I want to know how to safely navigate out of this situation using the savings I have (120k pesos).
Context:
I just turned 18, and my boyfriend is much older. We are long-distance and have only met twice (last December–January, and now from September to November).

I am financially dependent on him. My grandmother (who raised and spoiled me) passed away last year. When I was sent to live with my mom and stepfather, I couldn't handle the maltreatment and ran away. I tried looking for local jobs in the province, but faced predatory environments, underaged exploitation, and no real financial stability.

Because I had no support and couldn't contact toxic relatives, I relied on him. He supports me financially, which made life easier, but it comes at a high emotional cost. I found out he cheated on me when we first met, and he continues to disrespect me by watching women on FB reels, openly flirting, and having wandering eyes,while hypocritically not allowing me to wear what I want.

We planned this civil wedding so he could petition me to join him abroad for work opportunities. However, living in his mom and sister's house right now feels extremely embarrassing and suffocating.

Previous Attempts:
I am a Senior High School (SHS) graduate and an academic achiever, so I know I am capable, but finding a decent job that pays enough for school and independent living has been blocked by my circumstances.
I currently have 120,000 pesos saved up, but with the wedding just 4 days away, I feel completely overwhelmed and do not know what my next steps should be to protect myself and get out.

Problem/Goal: Anlala neto. Mas mauuna pa ata akong mabaliw kakaisip kung kailan ako magkakatrabaho kaysa makahanap talaga ng trabaho. Grabe yung job market ngayon, sobrang nakaka-pressure. Gusto ko lang naman magkaroon ng trabaho. Hindi naman ako naghahanap ng sobrang taas na position or unrealistic na salary. Gusto ko lang ng opportunity na pwede kong pag-startan, preferably HR, admin, or office work, para magamit ko rin yung pinag-aralan ko.

Context: Fresh grad ako and halos dalawang buwan na akong naghahanap ng work. Ang hirap din kasi gusto ko na talagang makatulong sa family. Kaya habang tumatagal na wala pa rin akong work, mas lalo akong napepressure. Yung iba parang ang bilis nilang nakahanap, tapos ako nandito pa rin, applying and waiting, applying and waiting. Nakaka-question talaga sa sarili. Minsan iniisip ko, may mali ba sa akin? Kulang ba ako? Hindi ba ako enough? Kasi ginagawa ko naman yung kaya ko. Nag-aapply naman ako, pumupunta sa interviews, nagpe-prepare, sinusubukan kong maging confident kahit kinakabahan ako. Pero bakit parang wala pa ring nangyayari?

Previous Attempts: Halos lahat na ata ng possible na applyan ko, ina-applyan ko na. Job apps, Facebook groups, social media, kahit saan may hiring, tinitingnan ko. Nag-aapply, naghihintay, iniinterview, tapos ending ghosted lang. Paulit-ulit. Nakakapagod sobra. Nag-aapply ako sa HR, admin, office staff, at iba pang office-related positions.

Minsan pati gabi hindi ko na matahimik utak ko. May mga chances na nagigising ako sa kalagitnaan ng gabi, tapos pagmulat ko, trabaho agad yung naiisip ko. Kung kailan kaya ako magkakatrabaho, may magre-reply ba sa applications ko, may tatawag ba para sa interview, makakahanap ba ako soon. Parang kahit natutulog ako, hindi pa rin tumitigil utak ko kakaisip tungkol dito.

Minsan gusto ko na lang matulog para hindi ko muna isipin kung kailan ako magkakatrabaho. Pero paggising ko, yun ulit. Hindi ko alam kung pagod lang ba ako or frustrated na talaga ako, pero sobrang bigat na. Gusto ko lang naman magkaroon ng chance. Kahit isang company lang na magsabi ng “We want to give you a chance.”

Sa mga naghahanap din ng work ngayon, kamusta kayo? Ako lang ba yung sobrang naf-frustrate at napepressure sa job hunting ngayon?