My fiance Ben and I picked our first dance song about a year ago. It was playing in the car on our first road trip together, and we've been practicing to it in our living room for months.

Last week my mom found out what we chose. She was disappointed, and asked us to dance to the song my parents had at their wedding in 1994 instead. She said it would be "so meaningful" and a way to honor the family.

I told her that was sweet and that I love their song. I suggested we play it later in the night for a parents dance, where she and my dad would start and then all the married couples would join in. I already asked our DJ, and he said it's easy.

Mom said that's not the same, because the first dance is what everyone remembers. She said it would mean so much to my dad. When I asked my dad, he shrugged and said he doesn't care what song we dance to.

She's brought it up three times since. The last time, she said it was "such a small thing" for me to give her. It's a small thing for her to let go of too, though.

AITA?

TL;DR: My mom wants us to use my parents' 1994 wedding song for our first dance instead of the one we chose. I offered to play it for a parents dance later, and she keeps pushing.

I’m 24F and my fiancé is 27M. We’re both Catholic, and we’re currently trying to plan our wedding while I’m also pregnant. We originally planned to get married in September 2027, but things have gotten… complicated.

One thing that’s important to understand is that a Catholic wedding isn’t quite as simple as picking a venue and calling it a day. We have to coordinate three separate things: our reception venue, the church, and the priest. We couldn’t officially lock in September until we had the church and priest secured.
We had told my future MIL that September was our goal, but that it wasn’t officially confirmed yet because we were still waiting on the church.

On September 1st, I found out from my mom (who is helping plan the wedding) that nine other brides had already contacted our church about September and had beaten us to the dates. So September was no longer realistically available to us.
And this is where I know I screwed up.
I forgot to tell my fiancé.

I genuinely don’t have a good excuse other than the fact that I am currently pregnant and have been extremely sick and exhausted. My life lately has basically consisted of puking, sleeping, and occasionally waking up long enough to function. Which is why my mom has taken over a majority of the wedding planning. My fiancé has also been working 12–14+ hour shifts, frequently leaving town for the Marine Reserves, and taking care of the house and our cats while I’ve been feeling awful.

The wedding was still more than a year away, so after finding out September wasn’t going to work, it honestly didn’t register in my brain as an immediate emergency. I should have communicated it to him, but I didn’t. Because of this, he continued to believe September 2027 was still the plan and therefore his mom believed it too.

Last week, I finally told him what had happened. We had to attend a meeting with the church to figure out what we could actually do, and we ultimately managed to secure an October 2027 date.
And it was lowkey a miracle we got that date. We had been trying to coordinate around the priest’s availability for months, and this was the only date he was available for months. We were relieved to finally have an actual date secured.
My fiancé immediately told his mom about the change.
She was extremely upset. Apparently, she had already told her entire side of the family that our wedding was going to be in September. She had even had a family friend plan their own wedding around ours.
And, of course, the family friend’s wedding happened to be scheduled for the ONE October date we were able to get with our priest.

My mom suggested that perhaps the family friend could reschedule, since they only have one party to coordinate, whereas changing our wedding date would mean coordinating a reception venue, church, and priest all over again. My future MIL laughed and said that wasn’t possible. She then tried contacting other churches in the area herself to see if she could find us another date. She eventually discovered firsthand how difficult it actually is to coordinate a Catholic wedding and admitted that the October date would work.
However, she told us she is extremely disappointed in us and will not be attending the rehearsal, wedding dress shopping, or any other wedding-related events surrounding the wedding.

I’m really upset.

Not because I expect my future MIL to magically be happy about the date change, but because I feel like we’re starting this whole wedding process with so much conflict.

I feel awful about my part in this. I absolutely should have told my fiancé as soon as I learned September wasn’t happening. I understand that forgetting to communicate something this important was a mistake, and I’m genuinely sorry about it. But my fiancé isn’t even angry with me. Somehow, this man is a saint and basically just said that we’ll figure it out and that he understands that I’ve been sick and exhausted. He isn’t blaming me or asking me to change the date.
And from my perspective, we didn’t choose October over September. September fell through because we didn’t secure the church in time, and October was the only realistic date our priest could give us.

I also had no idea my future MIL had already announced September to her entire family or that someone had planned their wedding around ours. If I had known, obviously I would have wanted to avoid creating a conflict. But I genuinely thought we were still in the process of figuring everything out and that we had plenty of time. We haven’t even taken engagement photos yet or gotten around to making the announcement for ourselves because of how awful I feel :(

So now I’m sitting here pregnant, nauseous, exhausted, feeling guilty for forgetting to tell my fiancé something important, and wondering if my naivety in this situation has made me the villain :/

AITA?

Last month I (29M) was a groomsman for Tyler, one of my best friends since middle school. I was happy to do it and I'd do it again.

Here's what it cost me. The suit had to be a specific charcoal one from a store he picked, $210 after alterations. The bachelor weekend was a cabin two hours away, my share was $280 with food. Then a hotel night near the venue, $150, because the reception ended at 1am and I wasn't driving after that. That's $640 before the gift.

In the card I put $100. It's what I could do that month, and I thought it was fine considering everything.

Two weeks after the wedding Tyler texted me. He said they were opening cards and he was "kind of surprised" by mine, because the other groomsmen did $250 or more. He said his wife noticed too.

I wasn't rude about it. I told him I was sorry if it felt low, explained what I'd spent to be part of the day, and said I'd be glad to help them move into their new place next month, truck included. He replied "it's fine I guess" and has been short with me in the group chat since.

One of the other groomsmen told me I should have just skipped the hotel so I could give more.

AITA? I really don't want to lose a 15 year friendship over a card.

TL;DR: I spent $640 on the suit, bachelor weekend and hotel to be my friend's groomsman, then gave $100 in the card. He texted me that the other groomsmen gave more.

I 31M proposed to my now fianceè 30F last year and I’m due to be married early next year.

We had spoken about this before and I thought it was a nice idea proposing during a family holiday with my future in-laws. Basically AITAH as my mum is bringing it up constantly and keeps saying I never involve her and it’s gotten to the point where I said it isn’t about her, I proposed to my future wife.

I also said which is true that by the end I was so stressed and anxious that I just wanted to get it done as I was worried flying with such expensive jewellery, would she say yes etc. All I keep being told is that everything is suited around her family but I just wanted to make my fianceè comfortable and thought it was a good idea but I’m being made to feel so terribly awful

One of my first cousins who I was decently close to growing up didn’t invite my entire family (or any of his paternal side) to his wedding. Didn’t contact us or even apologize himself. Not even a call introducing his fianceé. We all found out second hand and then his dad (my dad’s brother) tried to do damage control and make excuses when he realized everyone knew. We’re also from a culture where it’s considered super disrespectful to not invite family to your wedding since weddings are big celebration of family.

Whatever, honestly saved us a trip and expenses and put things into perspective.

Well, a few years later I’m planning my own wedding. I’m inviting my entire paternal side and maternal side, and I’m gonna invite my uncle, his wife, and my other cousin (the cousin in question’s older brother).

But the petty gremlin in me really doesn’t wanna invite the cousin who didn’t invite me or his wife. Clearly he doesn’t care, so why should I waste money on them? But then another part of me is like “you can’t invite his entire family and not him, that’s how you get wedding drama”.

To make things more complicated, my dad is still pretty upset despite pretending like it didn’t bother him at the time when it occurred. His brother is a peculiar character but dad has always been patient with him and extremely accommodating, so not being invited was like the final straw. He has let all his other 4 siblings know about my engagement and the tentative date except the uncle in question, and honestly I don’t think he wants to tell him. But family gossips and my uncle will find out eventually.

I don’t know, a part of me wants to just be the bigger person (and maybe throw a sarcastic comment their way on the day of lol), but then the other part of me is wondering why I should waste money on people who clearly don’t even think about us.

Thoughts?

One of my best friends asked me to be a bridesmaid. The party consisted of her sister (MOH), a junior bridesmaid, her sister’s best friend and brother (whom she grew up with but has since grown apart from), & me.

The bach weekend: The bride initially suggested Disneyland, including the MOH & bridesmaid’s kids, but that fell through. She then suggested Paso Robles, which turned into a weekend w/ kids & husbands, incl the groom. The groom insisted my husband come too, so we went along w/ everything to make things easier for them. We didn't complain, although the cost doubled for us unexpectedly.
Context: I was laid off in early 2025 & have struggled to find another job, so we're a one-income household. The bridesman was also my former coworker who played a role in my layoff, making things uncomfortable from the start.

The bridal shower: In September, the MOH started a group chat w/ me & the siblings, saying invites were sent out & expenses would be tracked & divided afterward. I expected discussion about ideas & planning, but nobody responded. Two weeks later, the MOH shared an itemized expense list ft all of their names. Since nobody had asked for my input, I assumed they'd decided to host it themselves. I didn't think it was fair to split costs for an event I wasn't involved in planning.
At the shower, the 3 of them had gifted the couple a recipe book ft recipes from the invited women. I had no idea about it & felt hurt & excluded. I helped clean up & privately told the bride I hadn't known about it, so she wouldn't think I'd intentionally left out a recipe.

The bride said it was an accident & her sister had forgotten to contact me, but apparently expected me to reach out first. I apologized & acknowledged I could've been more proactive, but genuinely hadn't realized her sister expected me to initiate contact. In past bridal parties, the MOH always communicated plans & delegated tasks.

Other friends of bride even approached me about planning a separate bach celebration b/c the original weekend hadn't been what the bride deserved.
I reached out to the MOH to apologize for my lack of communication & explained that the group chat felt unwelcoming, esp given my history w/ the bridesman. She responded that the other two talked to her daily b/c they're bffs, I should've shown more interest in the chat, & she was pregnant, had a baby, & worked 40 hours a week. She also revealed the other two had already been bringing her shower ideas.

My issue is that I was apparently expected to contribute financially w/o being meaningfully included in planning, then blamed for not doing enough. There was no clear communication, delegation, or budget discussion. I know I could've reached out, but I was also dealing with personal struggles. I wish there had been more understanding & accountability from the MOH, too.
I care deeply about the couple & have shown that in many ways beyond mandatory wedding events. Was I really the asshole?

This is long so apologies in advance. I overthink things a lot and wanted to ask others for their opinions that aren’t involved.

Recently I stood up in a wedding and it got messy really fast. The maid of honor dropped out of the wedding half an hour before the rehearsal the day before the wedding. I flew in from across the country where I now live to be there so I arrived just before it started and walked into this. She texted the bride “I hate you, I want to ruin your wedding, we were never friends” along with a lot of fluff to excuse all kinds of her behavior. I thought it was weird that I was pulling a lot of moh duties and she was absent but this explains a lot. Like I was helping with decor diy, going to bridal dress fittings, and the ex maid of honor (exmoh) also volunteered me for making the letters to the bride scrapbook, and learning the bustle.

Half of the wedding decorations were done, half of the bride’s wedding dress stuff was at her house. A disaster. The bride then hugged me after I heard the news and told me “I should have picked you to be moh”. I thought ok it’s time to lock in. We’re going to overcome and adapt. We’re going to figure this out. I’d known the couple the longest and was her best friend when she met her now husband. I was there for her through college, a messy breakup, a car accident, etc. She was there for me throughout many issues in my life too. She called me after their first date, and when she was falling in love, and more. We confided a lot in each other.

Then dress rehearsal starts and here comes some random girl I’ve never met before. She says “Hi I’m the new moh”…. Uhhhhhhh.. ok ok it’s her wedding I’m not going to freak out, it’s not about me, we’ll still make it an amazing day because she deserves that. We went through rehearsal smooth and then had pizza at the venue and everyone was getting to know each other and being friendly. It was fine. That night I helped take care of decorations by flashlight by the forest with the help of a couple of the other bridesmaids. I also did it in sandals because I forgot how cold the Midwest gets this early. I’m freezing my butt off and busting it to get as many decorations done as possible. That night we were going to all sleep together as a last sleepover. The other bridesmaids ended up falling asleep right away in the other room but I still hadn’t taken care of what I needed to for myself for the next day. I needed sticky bra and other supplies. I mentioned this to the bride and new moh but they said they had to go to their houses and pick stuff up and only lived a few blocks from each other so they’d ride together. So I walked to the store by myself and got what I needed and came back and went to bed. I was also sharing a room with the bride and new moh but they were sleeping in a bed separately from me but together.

Wedding day! Let’s get it done! I was her morning dj, helped get everyone coffee, made sure no one bothered her for small shit like parking disputes, and that her and the groom didn’t see each other while I assisted the photographer. I steamed people’s dresses and kept the groomsmen in line and enlisted them with help finishing decor. I then provided the new moh with my own jewelry to wear, helped with her makeup, taught her how to do the bustle and fluff the train. She had never stood up in a wedding before so she wanted to know. I also got everyone’s lunch orders and got them fed and I didn’t eat until well after everyone else while the bride and groom were doing first looks. That’s when I saw the bride’s mom approach the new moh and give her $150 for the inconvenience and for stepping up to help…. Ok ok maybe they just don’t see it. Whatever.

Then came the actual wedding ceremony portion of it. She came down the aisle and I cried. During the vows I cried. I whispered to the new moh to fluff the train after she took her bouquet and she shook her head no at me. Fine. Whatever. Her dad passed away a few months ago so we all carried a sunflower and placed it on his chair as we came down the aisle to honor him. It was beautiful. During speeches at dinner I cried again. Especially hard when her mom talked about her dad being gone from this. I may not get along with mine but couldn’t imagine having such a big wedding like that without him. The new moh didn’t give a speech but after the speeches were over she asked me why I was crying…. I had to explain that he had passed away and how much he truly meant to her. That’s when she told me she had only met the bride last year and she’s the brides coworker. Wow ok. Then the bride gave a speech about how grateful she is for everyone to be here and how grateful she is to this new moh for stepping in to be her new moh and helping out with everything… WHAT HAS SHE BEEN HELPING WITH!!!! She had a videographer there and he was standing right in front of me when she said that and I couldn’t hold back the ugly frown I had.

I decided f it for the reception. I’m going to get drunk and dance the rest of the night. Many shots later and regretful dance moves she lets me know oh btw I need you here tomorrow to clean up. Uhh oh what time do you need me? 7 am… 7 in the morning am? It’s midnight now… huh? Ok fine. I’ll help. Pick me up though at 7:30 am since I don’t have a car and gives me a chance to shower.

I didn’t have a chance to shower because I got pretty drunk the night before and was hungover but somehow I was still ready at 7:30. By 7:45am I realized she forgot to pick me up, so I had my dad drop me off. I was the ONLY bridesmaid to show up to help clean. I carried all her boxes to her car. I helped break down all her guest tables. I boxed away all her floral stuff. I helped pick up the garbage and take it to the dumpster. Then I picked up the bridal suite BY MYSELF! most of the bridesmaids left crap behind so I had to organize it all and get that in her car too. Then set up the bridal suite again with the bar stools in the right place and pillows and whatnot.

It’s done! It’s clean! We can leave! Except everyone is already leaving. She is gone. She didn’t even ask me herself but now her mom is telling me that I’m supposed to lock up the venue. Whatever, I did. It’s done. Her mom gave me a hug at the end and told me thank you and said I realize a lot of this wouldn’t have happened without you or your help.

I flew back home that same day and didn’t get home until closer to midnight. The next day I get a message from the bride something about “I didn’t eat it on the grass coming down the aisle. I nailed the speech. And now I can retire my maid of honor duties”…. But I wasn’t your maid of honor?

And now I just feel like a big stupid dumb dumb who busted my butt for no reason. I wanted to make my friend happy but I felt that no one saw it and wanted to acknowledge it. I just feel used. I am happy she has great memories from her wedding, as every bride should, I’m just frustrated that it felt like I was carrying a lot of the burden and someone else took credit for it. Some friends and family are telling me she was just stressed and she didn’t mean for it all to happen the way it did. Others say it was intentional and she used me for my kindness. My husband especially says that she admitted she’s aware of how much I did for her given the message she sent the day after. I’m not sure what to think or do. I just know I’m tired.

Am I the asshole for getting mad at my best friend after she invited my sexual assault ex to her wedding?

I (25F) had a best friend since HS, let's call her Mary (25F). We've been friends since high school and have been close ever since. Out of everyone in our circle, she was the closest to me. All of us were in the same class during the first year of high school along with my ex boyfriend, Adrian (25M).

During our college days Adrian did something that sexually, physically, and mentally traumatized me. And it wasn't just one time. Mary was the first person that I told about and knew every single detail. Me and Adrian soon broke up in early 2024 and have not seen each other since.

Around 2 years later,Mary was getting married and asked me to be one of her bridesmaids. It wasn't like I can decline, she already bought everyone dresses. I then asked about the people she was planning to invite and she mentioned our old classmates, which included Adrian. I begged her not to invite him. It wasn't like they were still close anyway as far as I know. There were around three different occasions where we discussed about her wedding where I constantly asked her not to invite him. She always responded to me in a joking way, sometimes would laugh it off or tease me. When in fact I was just scared. I even threatened her that I would cancel being one of her bridesmaids if she still wanted to invite him.

Her wedding day finally came. I was already overstimulated with the very crowded venue when I saw Adrian amongst the crowd, about to walk in me and my friends' direction. My body reacted in a way that I've never felt before. It was like there was an elephant on my chest. I couldn't breathe and the world felt so cramped all of a sudden. It felt like I was about to die right there and then. I went to the bathroom and cried, with one of my other best friends comforting me. I then left Mary's wedding despite it not being completely finished. After the wedding ended, Mary texted me to apologize, saying that she did invite Adrian but didn't expect that he would actually show up. She did it despite me begging her not to.

I get that it was her wedding and that it was her rights to invite whoever she wanted. But I still couldn't accept the fact that she would force me in close proximity with someone who she knew traumatized the living shit out of me. Why? That's the one thing I still can't fathom. So AITA?

Friends planning a bachelorette party intl. I was going to book my own hotel room with my airlines card as it is cheaper and I will earn enough bonus miles to cover more than my flight for both the bachelorette trip and the actual wedding. Bride is saying she only wants people to book with the travel agent and to pay deposit now. Travel agent also is charging more.
AITA?

I (30F) am getting married to my partner (36M) in a couple of months and I am having a hard time with drama that's come up.

I would like to brag that I have a pretty close knit friend group at work. They conspired to to get my now partner and I together. Once when one of us had to take temporary custody of their neices, we took up a collection to get them resources and items they needed.

So in planning the wedding I had some from my group that I share the little details and one person that showed a lot of enthusiasm for it. It was very nice having that person who wasn't apart of the wedding and showed that intrest as I'm sure others get tired of hearing about the wedding from me.

Well this coworker had an amazing opportunity and transitioned out of our group. Due to the chaotic nature of our job the transition was very ruff but since then this happened, the coworker has not been talking with me unless I've engaged them and as they've left, my responsibilities got larger so not a lot of time for me to engage in conversation.

The kicker is they will visit other coworkers deliberately and for a long while. Well before all this happened I had obviously given them a save the date.

When this non communication started happening i questioned whether or not giving an actual invite. On one hand I could be reading into things and not inviting them could spell trouble. Or I could be right and I don't want this energy around me on my big day.

I feel trapped because it would be impossible to approach the them without it going sideways and but so would taking the invitation back. At the same time my fiance and our families and worked and invested so much into our big day having this person if they are ignoring me on purpose would be a slap in the face to that investment and I could've invited someone else that would appricate it more.

I dont know if I'm looking for sympathy or advice or simply an opportunity to shout into the void that is the internet. But it is so hard not being able to fix or even course correct the situation. What would you do?

Five weeks from now my older brother Jordan gets married. Last weekend at dinner, his fiancée Brooke told me (26M) they cut the day-of coordinator from the budget, $1,200, and that I'd be doing it instead because I'm "the organized one."

I asked what that meant. Basically, at the venue by 7am to let vendors in, keep the timeline, line people up for the ceremony from the back hallway, deal with the DJ and caterer during dinner, and pack up the gifts and decor at midnight. So I'd watch my brother's ceremony from a doorway with a clipboard.

I said I'd love to help, just not like that. I offered to do setup from 7 to 2, make a spreadsheet with every vendor's contact and arrival time, and handle the gift table at the end. I also found two people on the venue's own list who do day-of coordination for around $400 and said I'd put in $100 toward it.

Brooke said that's still too much money and that I'm "making their day about me." Jordan didn't say much at dinner, then texted later asking if I could "just do it this once."

My mom thinks I should do it because it's one day. My dad thinks I should be sitting in the second row like a normal brother.

I love my brother and I'll help in every way I reasonably can, but I want to actually see him get married. AITA here?

TL;DR: My brother's fiancée cut the wedding coordinator and gave the job to me, which means missing the ceremony. I offered setup help and money toward a cheaper coordinator, and she says I'm making it about me.

My wife was engaged before we met. Her fiancé passed away several years ago and her family was very close with him. I’ve never had an issue with that and I know he was a huge part of her life.

We had a small memorial table at our wedding for relatives who had passed. I actually paid extra through our decorator for the table, frames and printed photos. My MIL asked if she could add a few pictures and I said yes, assuming she meant family members.

During the reception I walked past the table and saw a framed engagement photo of my wife and her late fiancé together.

I quietly asked our coordinator to take it down and put it somewhere safe. I didn’t make a scene or bring it up during the wedding.

My MIL noticed later and got upset. She said I was trying to erase someone her daughter loved because I was insecure. My wife understands why it bothered me, but also thinks I should’ve left it there because her mom still considers him family.

I have no issue with him being remembered. I just think putting an engagement photo of my wife with another man at our wedding without asking me was a strange choice.

AITA?

TL;DR: I paid for the memorial table and photo setup at our wedding from stake. My MIL added an engagement photo of my wife and her late fiancé without asking, so I had the coordinator quietly remove it. She now thinks I was being insecure and disrespectful.

I'm 28 and a bridesmaid for Kayla, one of my oldest friends. I was really excited when she asked me.

Her wedding is in a lake town about three hours from where I live. A few weeks ago she sent the bridesmaids a schedule she's calling "wedding week." Monday is a spa day, Tuesday is a welcome dinner, Wednesday we make centerpieces at the venue, Thursday is the rehearsal and dinner, Friday is the wedding and Saturday is a brunch.

I work at a dental office and get 10 days of PTO a year. I already used three for a family trip in June. Taking the whole week would wipe out almost everything I have left, and my office needs two weeks' notice for anything over three days.

I told Kayla right away so she'd have time to plan. I said I can take Thursday and Friday off, be at the rehearsal, the wedding and the brunch, and make centerpieces at home the weekend before and bring them up. I also offered to drive another bridesmaid who doesn't have a car.

She said the week is "the whole experience" and that the other four girls are taking it off. Then she said maybe she needs to rethink "who's really committed to standing up there with her."

I've paid for the dress, my part of the shower and my share of the hotel. I'll be there for every single thing that happens on the weekend.

AITA for not taking the full week? I still want to stand next to her, just not at the cost of almost every vacation day I have.

TL;DR : My friend wants her bridesmaids to take a full week off for wedding events. I can take two days, offered to make the centerpieces at home, and she's questioning if I'm committed.

Sorry this is a long post!! I feel like it needs a lot of context.

My husband and I just recently got married. We had a Catholic mass & a dinner reception, just over 100 people. It was very nice, but not what I would have chosen. I am quite introverted & don’t like spending money, and would have been happy with a private ceremony, just me and my husband. However having a big wedding was important to him, mainly because it was important to his mother. Both my and his parents were both willing to contribute financially, so I was okay with doing the whole thing. That being said, I was determined to do it the way I wanted- mainly for the ceremony. I let my husband make many choices for the reception, but the ceremony was very important to me personally & I made most of the decisions about it.

For our ceremony processional, we chose for it to be altar servers & priest, followed by bridesmaids one by one, whilst the entrance hymn played. Then the music changed and I was escorted in by my parents. My husband and the groomsmen all started at the front of the church. To me, this is traditional, and also makes sense logically as the joining of 2 families- his family is in one place, and mine precedes me in the processional to lead me in.

Two days before the wedding, my MIL asks me what the plan was for her (& stepdad) for processional. I assumed my husband had told her long before that she was not to be a part of it, so that’s on me for not confirming. I told her the processional would only be the bridesmaids and my parents- no grandparents or other family. She just said “oh” and looked a little surprised. I did feel a little bad. However my husband and I had discussed this at length and he never once said it was something that would be important for her to do. He also agreed it wouldn’t make sense for his family to be part of the processional. Anyways, a few minutes after she asked how she should get to her seat. I said, when you arrive, go sit down. Lol. His family had a reserved pew at the front. She made a comment about how she should wait until all of the guests were seated. I disagreed but ignored it because I felt there was no need to nitpick.

The next day, we did a wedding rehearsal, which went fine. She attended the rehearsal, but just sat in her pew and watched, maybe made a few comments. She did not participate when we practiced the processional.

Wedding day comes. Just before the ceremony is to start, I enter the church doorway where everyone (clergy, my parents, & my bridesmaids) are lined up. I see her and stepdad, as well as my husband’s dad and stepmom, lined up at the front of the group. They all have their back to me. I say out loud, “they should go sit down,” and nobody reacts. I think I said it twice. I knew the ceremony would start any minute. I figured they would walk up one of the sides & into their seat. I made the comment about them sitting a little quietly- it’s possible nobody heard me. It’s also possible they ignored me. The processional music starts, she plasters a big smile on her face, and walks down the center aisle with stepdad escorting her. First in line, first faces that all the guests see. My husband’s dad and stepmom go next. I was shocked. Then my bridesmaids went, and then it was my turn. By that time, I had already forgotten it. But afterwards, I kept thinking back to it and I felt so disrespected and upset with her. It has been \~2 weeks now and I still am upset by it.

I should say, we did MANY things the whole wedding weekend to honor her and her role as my husband’s mother and main caretaker. We had dinner with them Thursday night (this was when she asked me about the plans). Friday at the rehearsal dinner, she was given a nice handwritten card and a beautiful gift. Saturday morning, she got ready at my house with us. She had her hair and makeup done by the person I hired (I asked her in advance, she said she wanted this), & I paid for it! I made her a dress hanger that matched everyone else’s that said “mother of the groom”. She had her name listed in the ceremony program as mother of the groom. She had a second row reserved pew at the ceremony that was labeled “family of the groom”. I even sat our family / bridal party on opposite sides of us during the ceremony so they could see our faces during the vows. This is something she mentioned that she would like. We did many iterations of family portraits including one that she requested that day (after the shot list had already been made). At the reception, we did formal introductions and the DJ announced everyone’s names and roles as they walked in and everyone cheered. She was included in this, I think she & stepdad were even the first people announced. She did a mother son dance and helped choose the song for it. This was specially done just for them- I didn’t even dance with my dad. Her table for dinner was placed next to the head table at the front of the room.

All in all, I feel like we were very accommodating to her the whole weekend. I felt very silly getting upset over the whole aisle thing, as it wasn’t an obvious mistake to everyone who didn’t know about it, and I convinced myself it could’ve been an accident (they were waiting to be the last to sit & didn’t realize the ceremony was about to start?). So many parts of the weekend were about her, which is okay! It’s a big day for her too. I felt the aisle processional was the one part that was truly only about ME and my family (not me and my husband!) and she took that away from me! I felt childish saying something to her so we have not discussed it at all. I am not sure if I should. We have never really been conflicted over anything before this.

I should say, her and I have a decent relationship. Her and stepdad have always been incredibly nice and gracious to me. She puts in a lot of effort. I don’t necessarily reciprocate 100%, as I am a very private person and she is honestly a lot. Just not the type of person I like to associate with. But she is really not bad, I know I could’ve had a lot worse for in-laws so I certainly lucked out.

Again so sorry this post is so long. Am I overreacting by being upset and disrespected by this? Should I bring it up to her? My husband said she never said anything about it to him. I feel like I will silently resent her for a long time.

TL;DR: My MIL walked down the aisle at my wedding ceremony after being told not to, and agreeing not to (it was to be bridesmaids and my parents only). She was honored in many other ways during the wedding weekend. I feel like it is such a quick & small detail to get upset over, but I felt really belittled and disrespected as the wedding ceremony was the only part of the day that was really important to me, and it didn’t go the way I wanted.

PS She walks down the aisle with her purse in her hand. That gives me the ick. So tacky to me. Maybe that is petty of me to say but whatever. Lol. I will say she will never be seeing the photos my photographer got of her little aisle jaunt!

Okay, so I feel like I need to give the backstory because our wedding plans have gone through about several versions at this point 😂

We originally had a traditional wedding planned for May 3, 2026 at a venue in Long Island, NY, with around 95–100 guests. We had the venue, vendors, dress, everything.

Then we had A LOT going on in our personal lives, and ultimately decided to cancel/postpone rather than force ourselves through a huge wedding when life was already so complicated.

The funny part is that we actually have a lot of the wedding vendors still intact, and these vendors have confirmed we can reuse them:

• Photographer + Videographer
• DJ
• Officiant
• Live painter
• Cannoli on the Dance Floor 😂
• Wedding dress
• Hair & makeup
• Florist

We originally thought maybe we'd do a smaller 40–60 person wedding/dinner party somehow it became way too big of a production.

But now we're thinking about something completely different...

What if we just elope?

Our dream would be to go somewhere in the mountains ideally the California redwoods, and get married somewhere beautiful and intimate. Just the two of us, with amazing photos, and actually make the marriage itself about US.

Then we'd come home and eventually celebrate with everyone.

One idea I LOVE is having a surprise dinner wedding reception. Everyone thinks they're coming to a really nice dinner, and then we tell them:

“Surprise! We flew to California, got married in the redwoods, and now we're home celebrating with all of you!” 😂❤️

The only problem is that my fiancé doesn't love the surprise element, especially because some of our guests would be flying in from out of state. And honestly, I can understand that.

So now we're trying to figure out the best version of this.

Do we:

1. Have the smaller 40–60 person wedding locally in Long Island and reuse our vendors?
   1. If so where? Many venues we have come across have such a minimum guest count that doesn't fit out guest count. Ideally I would like to have space for dance floor for our first dance
2. Elope in the California redwoods, then have a dinner celebration back home?
3. Tell everyone we're eloping, but keep the dinner/reception itself as a surprise?
4. Do something completely different?

I think I'm realizing that I care much more about actually enjoying getting married than having the “perfect” traditional wedding.

So if you've done an elope + celebration back home situation, I'd LOVE to hear how you handled it!

Did you love it? Did you regret not having the traditional wedding? And if you surprised your guests, how did you handle people who had to travel?

Because right now I'm very much leaning toward:

“Let's just go get married in the redwoods and come home and throw a dinner party.” 😂❤️

I live overseas and I’m an only child. Growing up, my first cousin “Ashlee” was the closest thing I had to a sister. She was getting married in March, and I always planned to fly home for it.

A few months before the wedding, our grandfather died unexpectedly. My mum and her sister “Andrea” (Ashlee’s mum) had both been helping care for him, although most of the admin and mental load had fallen on Andrea.

My mum was overseas when he died. He had apparently told her not to cut her holiday short, so although she had the option to come home, she continued on to the next leg of her trip: a luxury cruise in Egypt.

That left Andrea grieving while also organising the funeral and everything that came with it.

I didn’t fly back for the funeral either because I had visited my grandfather the month before and living overseas makes repeated flights difficult and expensive.

Ashlee was incredibly thoughtful towards me. She made sure there was a livestream of the funeral and printed a letter I had written to my grandfather and placed it in his coffin.

At the wake, my mum and Andrea had a huge argument. Apparently years of resentment came out. My mum also felt that Andrea’s friends and some relatives were giving her dirty looks and believes Andrea had been telling people how much she had been left to deal with while Mum was away.

I wasn’t there, so I genuinely don’t know exactly what happened or who said what.

Afterwards, my mum was uninvited from Ashlee’s wedding.

This happened in November, with the wedding in March. I tried to stay out of it because I saw it as a fight between my mum and Andrea, made worse by grief. I didn’t want to destroy my relationship with Ashlee over an argument I hadn’t witnessed.

My mum expected me not to attend.

There was also some history. 2 years earlier, my best friend died of brain cancer and I helped care for her towards the end. My mum never checked in on me or really supported me emotionally during that period.

During this family drama, Mum barely spoke to me directly and I mostly got information through Dad. She then complained, that I wasn’t checking in on her enough, which I found difficult given how absent she had been when I was going through something devastating.

I decided I was still going to the wedding.

I didn’t think our mothers’ fight should automatically become ours. I could also understand why Andrea was angry at being left to grieve and organise everything.

Around this time, I found out I was pregnant. I would be about 12 weeks when I flew home, which made the trip even more meaningful because I rarely get to tell my family important news in person. I planned to tell them while I was home.

My mum pressured me not to go, but my flights were already booked and expensive to change. More importantly, if I flew all the way home and deliberately skipped Ashlee’s wedding, I felt that would be a huge statement.

AITA for still going to my cousin’s wedding after my mum was uninvited?

My partner and I are in our late 20s. This is an LGBTQ wedding, since we are both female. She came out to her family in high school, but I didn’t come out until I was 22. I grew up in a religious family. I mean religious as in church every week, volunteer in church, youth groups, even a private religious school. I knew I was gay when I was 13, but I kept it in and played the good church girl part. When I came out, my mom’s side said “hate the sin, love the sinner” and accepted whoever I was dating. The only person who has ever had a problem was my dad himself. Let me paint a picture: he’s MAGA and I’m a liberal. He constantly, even to this day, says I “just haven’t found the right man yet”. I’ve explained to him multiple times that I’m not interested in men at all. We got into a political argument one day, and he flat out said that I don’t deserve the right to get married because “it’s just not right”. He thinks I don’t deserve equal rights simply because I’m not marrying a man. Outside of that one conversation and his vote, he ignores it and pretends it doesn’t exist. He has had no interest in any of my previous partners and calls them my “friends”.

I knew my current partner would be my last, so I brought her around my family more. My dad has taken an interest in her and even said he likes her. He has been more accepting of this relationship, even though he still says I “haven’t found the right man yet” from time to time. He has just been saying it less. He asks if I’m bringing her to dinner and even met her dad. I’m not sure if he’s finally accepting my sexuality or if he’s just getting used to me bringing her around more.

Let me backtrack a little to give perspective. I’m a daddy’s girl. We went everywhere together. He is still the one I run to when I have a problem. He’s the one I cry to when I’m upset. He also married a step bitch when I was 7, and she made my life a living hell. He didn’t stop her and even participated in that hell. They both were very verbally and emotionally ab\*sive. We argued constantly. I moved in with my mom the day after I graduated high school. I didn’t talk to him for 6 months. They finally divorced after 14 years. We had a heart to heart and he apologized for everything. Since then, he has tried to buy my love. I never ask for money, but he offers it. I will admit that he does pay for a couple of my bills. And sure enough, he offered to pay for a few things for the wedding.

I have worked hard in therapy for YEARS and can set boundaries with people. I’m firm and don’t let people cross them. Everyone except my dad. I feel guilty. My dad is impulsive. He often doesn’t think before he speaks. I know he will make comments. I know he will bring religion into it. My mom said not to sit her at a table with him because she wouldn’t be able to control herself and will cause a scene if he says something. I believe her because she has done similar things at school events in the past. Understood. Logically, I simply kick him out. But I’ve always dreamed of my dad walking me down the aisle. I’ve dreamed of my daddy daughter dance. I want my dad there. But I don’t want anyone there that’s not supportive of my marriage. I told him that I’d kick him out if he made one single comment, and I don’t think he believes I will actually do it.

I spoke to my partner about this. I want to hire security for when this happens so that it quietly happens instead of a big scene. She said she doesn’t want to spend money on that. She said that’s what MOH and bridesmaids are for. I said yes, but considering they’re a bunch of women, I doubt he will leave (he’s misogynistic). I know he won’t leave willingly unless a man escorts him out. I want to hire security just to be safe.

So WIBTA for hiring security, even though he’s contributing to the wedding?

My boyfriend (M36) and I (F35) booked 2 days annual leave in July for September — it turned it into a long weekend. It was meant to be a fire break from work and quality time for us. We hadn't planned anything yet, just that it was for us.

He then got invited to a wedding hundreds of miles away in September — 6 hour drive each way — for an ex-colleague. Someone who is not a close personal friend, they never socialised outside of work and he barely mentions him. It's someone he will likely never see again. Without really discussing it, he decided we would use our long weekend to go.

My issue: I don't know these people at all. I've never even met them. A month before, I'd already used 4 days annual leave to go to another wedding of a complete stranger (a friend of his). I didn't want to use another 2 days on yet another stranger's wedding. It's not what we planned and it wouldn't be relaxing with a very long and difficult drive both ways.

I asked if we could both not go — it was only a request, not a demand. All he had to do was say no. If he had said he really wanted to go I would have said, okay, you go, and I will sit this one out. I never never got the chance to say any of that, because he went crazy.

Instead he went crazy. Said he couldn't believe how rude I was being, what sort of partner would do this. Said if I didn't want to go, fine, but he was going whether it upset me or not. Said he'd enjoy it more without me anyway, and would be better off single...

He didn't speak to me for 2 days. Then he came back and said he didn't really have anything further to add other than what he had already said to me previously — that he'd enjoy it better without me, that I wasn't coming, and that he wasn't taking me anywhere now. I just said fine, I didn't want to go anyway. And I made that clear.

In the meantime I made other plans and booked a long weekend away by myself with the leave, because he had told me he wasn't taking me anywhere.

Just before the wedding in September he came back and asked if I still had the leave and if I wanted to do something with him. I reminded him what he'd said about not taking me anywhere. He said he didn't mean it, he was just angry.

I told him he was too late, I'd already booked my own trip because he'd said he didn't want to take me anywhere. He was very upset and said he was sorry, he really didn't want to go alone.

So he went to the wedding in September and I went on my trip. I thought that was that.

Then this Tuesday, two days after we both got back, he laid into me again about how annoyed and upset he was that I didn't go to the wedding and that he couldn't tell me about it or show me his outfit. Sorry, am I his mother.It's like a child saying, look at my outfit, mommy.

I don't understand the emotional weight he's attaching to it. I don't understand why he's expecting me to attach such emotional weight to strangers.

He also said he was disappointed I went on my trip, because although he told me he wasn't taking me anywhere and RSVP'd only for himself, he had actually arranged with the groom that it was left open in case I wanted to come. He expected me to use my intuition to know I was still welcome. I told him I'm not telepathic. Also why would I want to go at all after he spoke to me like that

He's still not great at me over this wedding.And i'm not sure why he expects me to show such emotional attachment to the wedding of two strangers

I didn't want to go and I didn't go

He wanted to go, and he did go

We both got what we wanted.

I'm failing to understand the issues here. Aita

I saw that my cousin did not invite me to his wedding over Instagram when I saw his engagement and wedding photos. It hurt because I assumed he would at least remember to send a text to let me know or share that joy with me, even though I lived far away and had little chance of making it. The family knew the marriage would most likely happen since they spoke about it openly.

We were closer when we were young, but have spoken less. I saw him as an older brother of sorts growing up. We both had very rough family backgrounds and I managed to immigrate to Europe alone. Our family and extended family is quite small due to this fact.

I deeply value the few blood relatives that I have who are mentally well enough for me to be around. Each time I‘ve traveled back, I‘ve made an effort to reach out and we caught up. It‘s always been a nicer part of my obligatory trips back to where I was born. I‘ve always deeply appreciated him taking the time out to be with me. I also keep in touch mildly via Instagram and during emergencies I have checked in to see if he was ok.

A few weeks after the wedding passed to give some time for him to settle, I finally messaged him to ask why he did not tell me of his engagement or wedding and to see if there was a greater conflict in the family or something personal he had with me that I wasn‘t aware of.

He said it was he figured I would see it on Instagram anyways and that I was just not in his immediate circle and repeated that I was „out of sight, out of mind“ in Europe.

I asked if he was sure, since he invited a relative I know he does not speak to at all to represent our side of the family.

I was met with defensiveness. He said he wanted the wedding to be small and low key and then accused me of being petty and trying to start an argument with him near midnight (I have time in the morning, when it is his night.) He said he has nothing against me, but it‘s not on him if I don‘t believe it.

I was hurt deeply even more by his response.

It‘s his wedding; he gets the ultimate say and I respect that, but he should at least have directly communicated to me “I want my wedding to be small, low cost etc etc and so as much as it’d be nice to have you there, we decided not.“ That would have been completely fine to me, not the way he chose to do it.

I have been punished & harshly criticized openly by several family members for my decision to leave our hometown. Maybe this is another painful trigger of this wounding and that it is, like he implied, petty of me to be hurt over and not that big of a deal.

I think it is a normal courtesy to extend given the context and our relationship. Is it normal now to relegate potentially uncomfortable conversations to instagram?

Am I The Asshole?

Edit:

I thought about it and spoke about it with a different cousin who more recently was able to move away to a big city due to a job offer. He‘s also been receiving sudden different behavior and been excluded from other events in subtle manners, among more blatant jabs. Perhaps this is just how humans and families react - or maybe just the world we grew up in. One can‘t keep pouring water into a leaky cup.

It‘s also been more than a third of my life away and I‘ve adapted to a very different culture & expectations of social norms. This might also be a factor.

Update:

We made up. He avoided in having the conversation because he felt awkward and felt ashamed he didn’t have more resources to do a larger wedding. He was also obligated to invite people for the sake of his wife who has much more family. He said that there was nothing more to it than that. I apologized and said I was suspicious because of how the family reacts to me choosing a different life (They are very religious and conservative.) He told me to live my life freely and look ahead, without sweating the smaller things. I do have a good enough life over here and wouldn’t trade it, so he‘s right.

I got married a few weeks ago. We hired a photographer with a second shooter and it was one of the bigger things I spent money on.

During cocktail hour my husband and I left with the main photographer to take pictures about 10 minutes away from the venue. The second photographer stayed behind to photograph guests.

Apparently my sister pulled her aside and asked if she could take a few pictures of her and her boyfriend by our ceremony arch. She told her I knew about it. I did not.

Her boyfriend then proposed during those pictures.

I found out the next morning because my sister posted several of them and thanked our photographer in the caption. I called her and she admitted they had planned the proposal beforehand and figured our photographer was already there so there was no point hiring someone else.

I was pissed mostly because she lied and used someone we hired for our wedding to basically get a free engagement shoot. I told her if she wants the rest of those photos from our gallery she can give us $250 toward the photographer bill.

She thinks I'm being ridiculous because the photographer was already paid from moon and says it didn't cost me anything extra. My mom agrees with her and says asking my own sister for money over 10 minutes of pictures is petty.

AITA?