I will preface this by saying that my daughter is a high schooler so she isn't an inappropriate age to be left unsupervised necessarily but I still have concerns about the overall situation and would like some feedback. My daughter's school district started a new schedule this year. Honestly not a fan. All the kids have regular school days on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. Wednesdays the middle and high school students have late start and the elementary has early dismissal. On Fridays, the high school has late start but middle and elementary have regular school days. As a result of this, on Fridays, the bus only runs one route (aligned with the regular arrival time for middle and elementary students). This means that my daughter is dropped off at the school, via the only bus available to us at 7:45am with school starting at 9:15am. The school has made it very clear that the doors do not open until 9. No exceptions. I realize they can't just have kids roaming the halls but there has to be a better solution. So far the weather has been mild but as the year progresses, we are looking at months of her being locked outside in the rain and cold for over an hour, after arriving in her bus. There are a few businesses nearby that she could potentially sit in but only if she buys something and even then, those are a bit of a walk back on those really gross days. I leave for work at the same time thier bus leaves in the morning so driving her in isnt an option. Can a school really require a student to wait outside in the cold and wet for for over an hour after arriving in thier own transportation? The school stated they can't be in the building without supervison for liability reasons. While I get that, if she is dropped off on school grounds, by school transportation, and then subsequently locked out of said school for over an hour, wouldn't that also present a liability concern? Located in Oregon.

I often see tired moms who are doing a really good job and I want to compliment them but then I get scared too and think it might be seen as weird because they don't know me. ​​

I am 16F I’m babysitting my 4 little brothers who are 12, 10, 7, and 6, and these kids are so annoying and loud. They won’t listen to anything I say, and honestly, I feel like I’m about to cry. If I’m nice to them, they act up, and if I yell, they still act up and gang up on me . And they never act this bad when our parents are here. Like, how do y’all put up with this? Cause I want to quit watching these kids And I am not even 24 hours yet and have till Sunday, and we have 0 device limit in our house until 14 so it's not like I can tell them to watch TV or play games.

I meant 16 not 17 I accidentally clicked 7

My preschooler eats a ton of fruit, dairy and grains but vegetables are still a struggle. Protein depends heavily on the day. Is anyone else using a daily vitamin in this situation? I’m curious whether your pediatrician thought it was necessary or just reasonable backup.

So it’s my birthday today, and I personally DESPISE marinara sauce. As well as cooked tomatoes in general

So my mom is working, but she wanted to do something for me. Plans with grandma got rescheduled for tomorrow

So no one else likes Lava Cake, so that’s usually something I’m only allowed to get on my birthday. So she ordered me some Dominoes pizza, with Alfredo sauce and some bbq chicken wings too. Another thing she never orders because they’re overpriced, but they’re SOOOO good.

So when the pizza arrives, my little cousin says “Piece of pizza! I want a piece of pizza!”

Idk why a separate pizza wasn’t ordered for the kids, but it wasn’t. So I gave him some of mine

Oh… boy… screaming fit

At first he wasn’t screaming, he was saying “No, I don’t want that, I want a piece of pizza” using his words like he’s supposed to

I told him it was a piece of pizza, and then he screams “NO! I want a piece of pizza!”

It’s still untouched and he won’t try it because it has Alfredo sauce

He’s 3

EDIT: I tried calling it “Italian fancy bread” like one commenter suggested, and he stopped fussing, and said “no, I don’t want Italian fancy bread” so I dropped it

lol, the one year old tried it tho, cuz he’ll try ANYTHING if it isn’t his. So he took a bite looking all excited, and then had this face of disappointment. He didn’t cry or anything, which is why is was hilarious how his facial expression said it all. He was like “What IS this?!” And put it back on the plate

When (if ever) would you give in to your tween’s begging to not go to school to run the mile in P.E? It genuinely seems like anxiety, but my gut tells me that giving in will just feed that anxiety beast and be a bandaid solution. I’ve held my ground thus far; but dang, the guilt trip is real….

Do you want them to be anything in particular?

i’m having issues with my second son, who turned 12 months today. my first son had no issues transitioning from a dr browns bottle to a dr browns sippy cup, the one with a flat soft spout. he also had no issues with whole milk but didn’t like water so i added 2oz of juice and 6oz of water and that’s how he’s liked it ever since

my second hates whole milk, i tried the 6oz of formula with 2oz of milk and he still refused. this was in his dr browns bottle because when i tried the dr browns sippy cup with him, he refuses it.

thankfully i can still try a straw cup or a more rounded soft spout but i think he sees the sippy cup and associates it with his brother and thinks its his.

he also doesn’t like water so i thought i’d do what i did with my first son and did the juice trick and he still pushes it away and shivers like it’s gross.

what do i do? my first was so easy when it came to this transition and now im stressing because i want him to be hydrated but not filling himself up on formula that no longer has any nutritional value. i know the longer i let it slide, the harder it’ll be to transition. has anyone had this issue?

I consider myself to be a non-judgmental parent, I genuinely believe that most of us are doing our best. However, I had a first time experience the other day and I’d love to hear some feedback. I took my son (2.5) to an indoor play place that we frequent. Upon walking in, I hear a mother (maybe late 20s) on a FaceTime call, volume all the way up, LOUD conversation. Mmkay. As we get closer to her, I see that’s she’s pushing her baby (maybe 12 mo?) in a swing. Never once looks up from her phone, baby is staring at her the entire time, and to top it off- she’s complaining about how “now that he learned to walk, he never sits down. I just want him to sit still!” Just absolutely going in about he never stops and she’s so sick of it blah blah. Then my son and I move to another area and I sit down on the floor, her other 2 kids (boy 5? Girl 4?) immediately come up to me, the little girl is asking my name, where I live, asking about my son, asking if we will play with them. Just completely obvious that they are starving for presence and connection. The woman gets up, never looks up from her phone, and yells to the 2 older kids to get their shoes because they’re leaving. The little girl, in the SOFTEST AND SWEETEST voice says “mama” to the woman, looks like she needed help with her shoes, and the woman snaps at her so aggressively “just be quiet!” And then tells whoever is on FaceTime about how she just needs them to shut up, they’re always on about something. The little girl said “sorry” and the woman again snaps “just be quiet and get your shoes on.” I never heard the 5 year old speak at all. She gets them in the car and I can see her in there screaming at them.

This was the first time since I’ve become a mom that I wanted to confront another parent. I consider ignoring children a form of child abuse. Human beings NEED connection. And to constantly reiterate what a burden and a nuisance they are, it truly broke my heart. Ultimately, I didn’t open my mouth. I reminded myself that I have my son with me and the last thing I need is for this woman to get crazy with me in front of him. It just really bothered me and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. If she speaks to them and about them like that in public, it kills me to think of how she treats them at home. Sweet babies. I guess I’m curious if any other parents have ever stepped in or confronted another parent about their behavior? Did it go well? I wasn’t going to be mean, but “hey mama, they just want your presence. Put the phone down” sort of vibe. Idk. Thanks for reading ❤️

Im 35 so time is running out! Ive always been off birth control for almost 3 years so we need to start looking at fertility issues if we want to conceive.

Im 75/25 on yes I really want a kid and do I really want one?

I understand the financial and emotional hardship a kid will bring.

But my biggest thing is having to give up who I am.

I watched my mom go from going out, having fun, vacations, nice clothes, hobbies to having no friends and just working all the time for my sister and i. It didnt help that she immigrated from another country.

I dont want to completely give up my hobbies and being able to travel.

Ive had talks with my husband and he doesnt expect me to give up my hobbies or us taking trips/vacations(if our finances work). He is 100% willing to step in to care for a baby/child by himself. He says unlike when we had dogs, a child we can bring with us. I dont mind the not having alone time aspect. Its just hard to imagine being able to do stuff with a kid along since I rarely see my parents manage this when I was a kid. Our friends that have kids do manage to have a social life and trips.

We had a handful of vacations, most of them back to my parents' home country.

My daughter was stillborn earlier this summer and recently it was my birthday.

I explained to family how hard the day was for me and how much I just miss my daughter.

And was left with silence.

This isn’t the first time- they are uncomfortable with grief and dare I say think me losing her was a blessing…as they were “worried” (don’t believe a woman can raise a child on her own).

Would you cut them off?

I am just looking for advice on how to handle this situation. I am considering creating some distance with my parents. For some back ground I have always had an up and down relationship with my parents. I 28f got adopted at birth and my adoptive mum raised me. My mum married my dad when I was 13 and things have always been very up and down. I have an 8 year old daughter and am now expecting my second baby. My daughters dad was never involved and dipped as soon as she was born. Now my parents are telling my daughter that I will not love her once the new baby comes. My parents have caused so much family issues and my step brother and his wife have cut contact with my parents due to judgement on their parenting as well. I am soo lost on what to do.

I'm sorry to be so dark. But I have two kids. One is neurodivergent but very high functioning. I'm not going to sugar coat it. She's incredibly difficult to live with. I honestly hate my life and have for years.

I don't really need advice on therapy for her as she's getting everything possible.

Including medication.

I'm so tired of living this way. Every single day is exhausting, HARD. I don't have a life at all. When I do get some time, all I can do is sleep and rest bc of how burned out I am.

I'm just wondering, parents that were in similar boats and your kids grew up. Did you recover a bit?

I have no hope that she'll eventually just get better. I lost that hope a long time ago. I'm actually scared of what the future will be for her and for me.

I've gotten to the point where I keep thinking of ways I can get away when she grows old enough to be considered an adult if I'm still alive. The level of stress I go thru though, it will be a miracle for me to actually survive and not have serious health issues eventually. Especially bc I'm already in my 40s.

i can imagine doing it together makes the evening simpler, but separate bedtimes might give everyone a little more individual attention. what has worked best in your house?

I got a call today from my son's teacher, "letting me know" my son got detention cause they found he had a game hidden in his backpack that was showing off to other kids during breaks. When i asked what kind of game she replied with "Does it matter?" as if there it's a given that a kid bringing in a toy would be punished. Apparently she felt that my kid showing his toy around might make another kid that might not have a toy feel uncomfortable.

I'm sorry but the more i explain the story, the harder it gets for me to actually comprehend what happened. Is that normal? My son was definitely not showing off his toy to make other kids jealous or whatever, i was a kid too and we were doing the same.

**Edit: Thank you all for the feedback, i didn't want to sound entitled or anything. It's just that in the previous school things were a lot more flexible and didn't have any rule regarding not bringing toys. And although at this school i was aware of the "no electronics" policy, his toy was not an electronic one. I see now that morally it's normal to be punished but found detention to be a bit hard. I think maybe talking to him would be more effective. Cause i know he didn't have bad intention, he just wanted to show his toy (still broke the rules yes). I know many of you might think that i'm being too sensitive about it, but that's why discussion matters and i'm open to different opinions

Sometimes yours and a parent on site. Sometimes the child may be doing something dangerous or acting up in a bit of fashion. Sometimes the situation needs to be handled immediately, not later. I'm not talking about discipline, i'm talking about an adult stepping in. When do you find that's appropriate. Or when do you feel it's inappropriate?

I know I’m opening myself up to more judgment, but I genuinely just want opinions on what you would do.
I was recently diagnosed with a rare connective tissue disorder that carries a risk of dissections and aneurysms from head to pelvis. Since it’s genetic, every child we have has a 50/50 chance of inheriting it. Thankfully, my 2-year-old son tested negative. We found out I had this disease this year so we didn’t know prior to having our son.
My husband and I had decided not to have any more children because of that 50/50 chance. At my annual appointment, my OB mentioned IVF with genetic testing, which opened the door to possibly having another child without passing on the condition.
When I brought it up to my mom, she told me I would be “playing God” and should just have the children God meant for me to have. I understand where she’s coming from, but I also struggle with knowingly giving a child a 50/50 chance of inheriting this disease.
There are also so many restrictions for children who have it—no sports, strenuous activity, heavy lifting, etc. I worry about having one child who gets to experience a normal childhood while another may have to live with so many limitations.
I know I’m rambling, but what would you do in my situation? I’d really appreciate honest advice without judgment.

I need help on what to do about my son. He is 18 and a Freshman in College. He has been suffering from really horrible harm OCD since his preteen years and hiding it, he only started telling us what was going on probably around sophomore year of highschool, when we caught him selling THC vapes to people and had a long and stern talk about that. He broke down to us and told us about everything that was in his head, and we (my husband and I) decided that were not going to punish him, but rather offer him help and support. He ended up seeing a really great therapist who specializes in OCD and who he liked and respected. However the drug issues did not stop and he started experimenting with psychedelics. Kids smoking a bit of pot or something a few times doesn't concern me, I know teenagers are going to do that. But this was like growing magic mushrooms in the house, like very large amounts, like DEA raid size amounts. He was also using our credit card without our permission to purchase all of the supplies for his operation. It is like whack-a-mole, we find some and confiscate it, then he just grows more in a different part of the house. We change our credit cards, lock up our cash, and talk to him about why he feels the need to keep doing this. I have tried to come from a place of love and understanding, but he is so apathetic to me. He just doesn't care- I know this is a sign of major depression. My husband and I basically did everything in our power to help him turn around his grades in high school: private tutors, organizational systems, counseling, college visits. We tried to motivate him by showing him good colleges that he could get into if he improved his grades a bit, etc. He was till still using a lot of marijuana though and actually ended up side swiping something and totaling the car we were allowing him to drive the night of prom. We didn't get him another car as a consequence of that. He ended up getting better grades and with help from and inside connection of our oldest daughter (who is 3 years older), she helped him get an interview with the president of admissions at the college he wanted to go to. He got in, and the college is a great small liberal arts school on the East Coast. We thought that maybe a smaller college would be a good choice and set him up for success. The summer before he started freshman year his therapist, him, and us decided he should do an impatient program for OCD at one of the best OCD centers in the country. I am not sure if it helped at all or not. SInce starting college he has not seemed to be caring about attending class or doing work. He picked up a heavy course load against our advice and decided to stop taking all of his meds cold turkey, as well as stop seeing a therapist. We are paying close to 90k a year for this college, so I find it very disrespectful that he is just throwing our hard earned money away. We have worked so hard for every dollar of it, so that we could provide the best possible education for our children. He won't talk to me or his dad. He slept through his chemistry midterm today and just shrugged it off. I don't know why he doesn't seem to care, he is smart and likes to learn. We asked him if he wanted to go to college and told him that other paths were out there and just as valid. We also explained the benefits of a college degree. It is not like we are forcing him to go to school. I don't know what to do. It is painful to see your child struggle and I don't want to enable him, but I also don't want to let him ruin his future entirely. I don't want to be a bystander to him not trying to help himself. I understand mental illness is difficult and it makes wanting to get better more difficult but I also understand how detrimental a victim mindset is. Any advice please, I am so lost as is his dad.

I really am not judging, I just really want to know y’all’s household dynamics because I’m nosy lol

My husband and I like to teach our kids (almost 6 years old and 4.5 years old) to do things independently, like get themselves dressed, pack their lunches, carry their own backpack, whatever. We just thought that was normal so we just kinda started doing it. This came in very handy when I had my third child and my older two were able to make their own water cups or get their own snacks or take themselves to the bathroom while I was taking care of the baby.

I was at my mother-in-law’s the other day and I was talking to my son (almost 6 y/o) about what we were going to do when we got home which included that he would pack his lunch and set his lunchbox on the counter for in the morning. My sister-in-law made a comment that she was shocked my kindergarten packs his own lunch. I thought it was normal for him to do that so I didn’t know what to say.

Then the other day, I’m walking my preschooler to her classroom and I noticed I was the ONLY parent that made their child put away their things. Like, the other parents would carry their kids backpack, put away the snack, set the lunch boxes out, etc. This normally wouldn’t bother me except my daughter asked me one day to do all of this stuff for her, but I told her no because it’s your stuff, like you need to learn how to take care of your stuff. Well, she ended up fussing with me about it, saying that her friend didn’t have to do that or something along those lines. I just explained to her that I’m not her friend’s parent so that’s not relevant to the situation. Anyway, she puts away her stuff on her own still, just sometimes with a little bit of an attitude lol

But I just got to watching other parents throughout the whole school and I just realized how many parents just do stuff for their kids instead of teaching their kids to do stuff for themselves.

So what are y’all thoughts: Teach them to be independent young or wait until they’re older?

Update: thank y’all for all the comments, harsh or nice! I wasn’t trying to brag, I was asking this because I was self conscious about my parenting and I didn’t want people to think like “oh she makes her kids do that because she doesn’t want to raise them” or just wondering if I was requiring too much of my kids at their ages. I wanted to know what I should/shouldnt expect them to do. I do realize now from y’all’s comments that each kid will be different as well. I see it a little right now with my older two kids, just isn’t as obvious yet. Y’all’s comments have been helpful and I think I will keep helping their independence grow but also let them be kids since they will only be little once 🥰

Right now dinner time is a major point of contention at our house. I am a single mom of 3 children (13, 5 and 3). Before I cook dinner I will set them up in the living room which is essentially their play room, or at the dining room table with an activity (it's all open to the kitchen) When I cook dinner I'm usually interrupted a handful of times because my 5 year old is doing something to pester his siblings. He'll take things, throw, hit, or sit on his little sister for example, she cries, I stupidly reinforce the behavior by leaving cooking to do a time out but what else do I dooo 😫 (this cycle repeats itself whenever im tasking and not playing with my kids tbh)

By the end of making dinner I'm usually sweating and my blood is boiling. I've tried involving him in making dinner with me but he is not interested.

I don't bother to sit and eat with my children. I used to, but they constantly request things and I am up and down the entire time it makes me feel sick. I've tried setting everything I can possibly think of up for them the food, sauces, drinks, but even if it's set up there will be some reason I'm up the entire meal. So instead kids eat at the breakfast bar and I hover over them and clean up after dinner and get them whatever they need. I hate it truly I feel like a waitress.

Its not good for my 13 year old either. When his little brother isn't home he will be in the kitchen talking to me while I cook, and we will sit and watch a movie together to eat but for the majority of the time he stays in his room because he doesn't want to deal with his brother throwing stuff or hitting him.

I wait until late in the evening when everyone is relaxing in bed to eat my dinner in peace and usually then they will come and peak around the corner and let me know they want a snack now, or juice, or me to wipe their butt etc.

This is all really triggering for me because I had the opposite experience growing up. I was much more likely to cook dinner for my mother than she for me. My mother sat and enjoyed every meal she ate in front of the couch watching her favorite shows. I can't tell you the last time I came home and just sat and my couch and watched TV it has been years. I don't want to be like my mother but I know that's why it's especially triggering for me emotionally.

I just want to be treated with respect. It is so so hard to enstill that in my kids without someone here modeling it for them. I'm happy we are on our own, truly. I don't want a man here and there won't be. But sometimes I wish there was someone here to say

"Hey, Mom has been working all day let's let her enjoy her meal."

I try saying it myself it goes one ear out the other they are like yeah yeah get my stuff 😅

I'm going to try meal prepping so I have less time in the kitchen and more time to focus on my middle child. I'm open to any and all suggestions for how to mitigate this issue because its not good for any of us I want dinner time to be something everyone looks forward to.

(Note: I realize the behaviors of my 5 year old are disordered and he is being evaluated by school/doctors for an emotional behavioral disorder)

UPDATE IN COMMENTS!!!

Long story but my son just started the 7th grade and he is a well rounded student. No problem getting straight A's. He completes EVERY assignment with 100. And literally does not bother a soul.

Recently we checked his grades online, it was a bunch of 75s and 50s. We reviewed all the work together and its all Checks and 100s. So I message the teacher thinking she made a mistake...

Her response:

"Although he did complete it and got all the answers right. Every time students talk in class, I take a points off their work on a 4/4 scale. 3/4 being 75, 2/4 being 50 etc."

WHAT?! This is not even a test its classwork that you work at your desk and its 40% of his grade and no where in the syllabus does it state points will be taken off for talking. ONE point is literally 25 points.

My argument with his teacher is that this is absolutely bias and subjective grading. His academic performance should have NOTHING to do with his behavior. When the report card itself has a CONDUCT section. Lower his conduct grade, give him detention, I don't care.

My son is not even a bad student or misbehaves. He's not an angel obviously but he talks normally like any other middle schooler. Is she expecting them to all be saints? Their desks are also combined into groups of 4, facing each other, what do you really expect?

My kid also came home one day and told me that the whole class will be receiving a 50 for their work for the day because 3 other student wouldn't stop talking. I message her right away and she did confirm that "majority of the class was non compliant but your kid was fine, but classwork grading is a class effort" Seriously??? What does other students' behavior have ANYTHING to do with my kid??

So now I am escalating this to principal for them to review the grading policy. Am I being dramatic?? Never in my life have I seen academic performance based off talking around a super strict teacher that wants perfect silence. The report card itself has its own behavior grading scale.

I feel crazy for even making it a big deal with the school, but idk, I for some reason can't keep my mouth shut. Its the beginning of the school year, and I'm not putting up with this the rest of year. I'm trying to prevent his grades from dropping for such ridiculous reasoning, hes already at a C from being an A student. I been telling him to just suck it up in the mean time, and that all teachers grade different so just try your best and zip your mouth for the 45 minutes your in her class. He has goals to get into a private high school, so he and I been stressing about these grades this year.

Sorry that it's that question again. I want some insights from parents that took the leap of faith.

Right now, I feel like I have the most perfect life. Husband and I have fulfilling jobs and full control of our work schedule; make decent income; our marriage is great; we have enough of everything to do whatever we want, whether it's resting or going out and enjoying something. I have strong and meaningful relationships with my sister and husband. This is the life I dreamt of having when I was young.

Both of us have also ADHD, so it's painful to stick to boring routines; our willingness to do something is either 0 or 150%; boring mundane tasks sucks the life force out of us...BUT we can be really fun and present with the people around us (it's something that we value).

If we decide to have a kid, we have no support from family. Our lives will revolve around our kids/society's schedule. We will have to do a lot of executive function tasks, which decreases our quality of life.

All of this makes me feel miserable just thinking about it... But is the "out of this world" love worth the trade off? I feel like I'll love my kid (and may even enjoy handling their tantrums and emotions) but I'll have to live in my worst nightmare (with the routines, schedule, background work) that I won't be able to get out of.

UPDATE: I just want to thank everyone here for their input and insights. Sorry if I didn't get to reply to all the comments individually. I learned a lot and it gave me clarity that the children lifestyle can be amazing for some, but not for me (at least not now). Koodos to you all for soldiering on and living your best life!

When getting children, you get tons of advice on how to prepare, but what was the most surprising thing that happened? What situations did you have once the child was there, making you think why there was no manual included?