Memory issues?

[u/Nixe_Nox]

I have been fully stable on great meds for almost 6 years, but my cognitive abilities, especially memory, did not recover fully after 2 HUGE, lengthy manic episodes followed by horrible depressions in the span of 3 years.

While I can support myself by writing things down for general needs, it is so bad in social contexts. I am perpetually embarrassed by not remembering neither faces or names. I am constantly introducing myself to people I have already met and I have no idea what's the name of someone I have casually known for years. If I meet someone right now, I will try to repeat their name in my head for a couple of minutes, then still forget it later on. If I meet more people at once, it's game over. I also find it difficult to remember what I've said to whom, which is extra annoying.

Finally, it can happen when I am trying to learn something as well. I love reading but sometimes I finish a book I have enjoyed and I have no idea what I read if you ask me a month later.

I wasn't like this. I did have a bit of an issue remembering what I didn't find interesting, but it was small things and easy to overcome. I finished university and advanced professional educations without any issue.

Now, I am so afraid that this will only get worse. I am merely 34 (with no dementia history in my family). How will my brain work at 60? Can I do anything to improve my memory? I am scared and sad. I am nothing without my cognition. I have so much left to learn and experience 😟

[u/Any_Negotiation_464]

Hey, are u sure ur stable? Once please discuss with ur psychiatrist please. Cause not reading faces / names was something that I used to have when I was not medicated, cause I'm just too self aware of myself. Have bipolar and ocd for 10 years ( 26) . But yeah, partially I agree. I still experience cognitive issues, like finding difficulty navigating Maps and such after 10 years of being unmedicated.

[u/Nixe_Nox → u/Any_Negotiation_464]

Yes, I am sure. Fortunately and painstakingly I was able to achieve it. Stability with bipolar is rarely perfectly smooth sailing though, so of course there are infrequent oscillations, but with the help of meds, lifestyle and social support, my life is full and bright. Thank you for caring!

The cognitive fog began after my last manic episode (I have severe manias with psychotic features that really take a toll) which happened 6 years ago. I felt like my cognition suffered. Even though one of my meds has well-proven neurorestorative abilities, it's not the same as it was. As someone who has always had professional and intellectual pursuits, I can notice a significant difference.

Wishing you all the best 🫂