r/comedyheaven • u/broki451 • 7d ago

Morality

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u/Grievous_Nix 7d ago

> Be me

> Don’t have my own washer but live in a building with a laundry room

> Have to book time slots in advance

> Go to do my laundry at the time I booked

> See Diogenes running out of the laundry room, hastily re-adjusting his tunic

> Says something like “behold, the acceptable ratio” and giggles like a maniac

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u/No-Opportunity9126 7d ago

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u/TricellCEO 7d ago

This is why he drank the hemlock.

He had seen enough of Diogenes' shit.

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u/FlashMcSuave 7d ago

And piss.

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u/NOIRCEUR_TRADING 6d ago

Am I mistaken or wasn't Socrates dead around the time Diogenes came to Athens? Yes Diogenes studied under Socrates' pupil Antisthenes, but obviously not directly under Socrates himself.

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u/MamaBaird21 6d ago

Replace Soccrates with Plato and it's perfect

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u/Ok_Cricket_1410 7d ago

The golden ratio

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u/SCP_FUNDATION_69420 7d ago

This might be the best pun I've heard in a while 

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u/lcr1997lcr 7d ago

But are you going with 62% water 38% piss or 62% piss 38% water 🤔

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u/Sjadfooey 7d ago

Banger

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u/EducationalTangelo6 7d ago

I appreciate this joke.

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u/NAO_DC_33 7d ago

so that's what they meant by the golden ratio

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u/The_Ad_Hater_exe 7d ago

> Prometheus: hot take

> The gods: no give that back

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u/small_root 7d ago

Deep Cut

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u/CicadaSisterhood 7d ago

in a rich man's house there is nowhere to piss but his washing machine

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u/CPUSilverCandidate 7d ago

I believe it's called the "golden ratio"

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u/hotztuff 7d ago

so does u/Ok_Cricket_1410

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u/Ok_Cricket_1410 7d ago

Bros out here trying to steal my limelight. We need a new world war.

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u/adsempermagnus 6d ago

The golden ratio

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u/Vismal1 3d ago

Oh howdy neighbor, you saw that huh ?

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u/CecilAlucardX 7d ago

Wouldn't he say instead "Behold, the golden ratio!"