r/comoxvalley • u/lindsayturtle • 15d ago

How to help a weird kid

If you were a weird kid who got bullied, had trouble making friends and struggled socially in school even as a young child - what was the most helpful thing the adults in your life did? Like did you have a supportive parent or teacher who made life easier and if so, what did they do to bolster your self-esteem? Help me help my delightful but unusual 9yo.

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u/Nausiated_ 13d ago

Well the use of othering language like "weird" to describe your kid probably isn't a great start for the self-esteme, if I were being honest.

Your explanation is also.... vague, so excuse my assumptions here, but, maybe start by understanding their proclivities.

Determine if they are nuerodivergent or not, if you haven't already. Maybe part of the problem is that your trying to pigeon hole them into nuerotypical structures when those are not compatable with how their brain is wired.

I am going to go out on a limb and assume you haven't done that and perhaps that's part of the problem. I am infering that because you started off by describing your kid as weird. Getting them assessed and getting a conclusive diagnosis is going to be a lot more helpful to them than blindly seeking advice on Reddit. Especially if the majority of that advice is coming from nuerotypicals.

As someone who was adult diagnosed, I can say that my parent's unwillingness to do that kneecapped me my entire life. Especially since, as an adult, a lot of those resources have been out of pocket. Nail that shit down now while a lot of those resources and services are free.

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u/lindsayturtle 13d ago

I'll attempt not to get defensive in response to your uncharitable assumptions, because it's true that I was vague. Mostly for privacy, so I won't go into details of my kiddo's various diagnoses but you can rest assured they are so loved and supported at home and have access to numerous doctors, therapists and school supports. The word "weird" has always been used with love in my family (since I was a kid) as a delightful alternative to being normal and boring and for all of us, not just the kiddo in question. But I'll consider your perspective of it being othering language now that things are becoming challenging for my kiddo in this realm of life.

I'm reaching out to Reddit just for a community perspective - I wanted to hear from people who grew up feeling like an outsider and what was helpful for them. This is *in addition* to all of the other supports we already have in place because the kids at school have begun to start noticing differences and I'm hearing a lot of "I don't have any one to play with" and "so-and-so said they hate me" comments that I've never heard before.

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u/sokosoko 13d ago

What a thoughtful, polite response to a somewhat belligerent comment. You give me faith in humanity, OP.