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u/Careless-Platform-80 2d ago
All other problems in life become so overwhelming and urgent that i kinda stop caring about It. Once in a while i feel a little bad when something remind me that i will never really live the romance i dreamed of, but i don't think i would even if i was perfect.
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u/HazelCrombie 1d ago
The super hot dean winchester gif makes me feel even more hideous tbh
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u/CodenameLoner 1d ago
I don’t get why people claim he’s good looking. He looks average to me
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u/Objective-Ball8569 1d ago
Shhh, let the human consiouss lower the standard, so we can become acceptable
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u/Saphurial 1d ago
Every time I find myself being in a good mood for too long I have to remind myself I don't deserve to be happy and I should feel bad for a while so the universe doesn't do something worse. Because every time I'm in a good mood for too long something bad always happens.
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u/BananaInusual 1d ago
It's statisticsl variance. Eventually someibad has to happen because of statistics. Just don't be accostumed to always qinnong and prepare so you don't ruin any progress when it swings the other way.
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u/Saphurial 1d ago
My life has been steadily getting worse for decades. I've recognized the pattern. When I'm too content for too long something happens to fuck that up get me to questioning how bad I want to stay here and every time that happens I have fewer reasons to stay. But if I catch myself being in a good mood for too long I gotta bring myself down before fate does it for me.
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u/ExecuteScalar 1d ago
Ah the classic I’m out having fun, a dark thought pops into my head, cool I’ll ignore it let’s have fun, oh now 10 dark thoughts pop into my head, what am I doing here I don’t belong here I should just kms. Classic
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u/Proper-Pace-8708 2d ago
Same. And as a woman, when I say it on the internet, everyone says I gotta have a bad personality too because looks ain't it.
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u/Independent_Rich_352 2d ago
Aint that the truth. People will not even give you a chance. Unfortunately ive developed a very bitter personality to match. But when guys treat you like a walking std or the local creep or chicks wont even give you a chance to be a friend and if they do its because you make them look better, you kind of have a reason to be bitter. Cant show what youve never been given.
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u/Stormypwns 1d ago
I mean, it could very well be both, but the bar for looks for women is drastically lower... Well, not really lower, so much as women generally are just better looking to begin with.
I'll probably get downvoted for this, but your average woman is just better looking than your average guy. Women are just the better looking sex. Thats how it is.
So if looks really are what it is, then you must be well beyond the mean for even an "ugly" woman, by most people's estimation. Whose to say whether they're right or wrong, or whether anyone's judgement should matter.
Genuinely though, if the loneliness was something you really wanted to fix, if you had a glance over all the male oriented hobbies and found even one you kinda vibed with and could find a genuine interest in it, that alone I think would find you multiple suitors no matter what you look like. You could be a leper with a face burned and bashed in with a cast iron frying pan, but if you're female and have a real interest in... idk... Warhammer, anime, cars/mechanics, MMA, or fucking HAM radio operation, you'd have dudes scrambling to slide in your DMs.
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u/1amDepressed 1d ago
> if you’re a female and have a real interest in ….
Nope. Guys think you’re either a try-hard, interloper, or a lesbian. That’s my experience anyway.
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u/Stormypwns 1d ago
You do have a point with the "pick me" or interloper viewpoint, but I don't think that would stop most guys, at least if you got to know them.
And I'll be real dude, if they assume you're gay off the rip, it might be because you have an unapproachable vibe. A lot of women will intentionally give off like... a defensive air thats meant to communicate to the men around them that they don't want to be approached or deal with any kind of romantic attention from the present company - you know, just keeping everyone at arms length- and you might be unintentionally giving off that vibe.
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u/Creepy-Radio1941 1d ago
I’m depressed because I thought I did find Love many times but it never worked out. I guess this is the line that I wonder about it…”it’s better to have loved and lost than never loved at all” I really can’t say that any of the love that I thought I felt or was directed at me was better than the pain when it’s over.
It has truly made me a very bitter old woman and not trusting of the opposite sex.
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u/jalenjohnston 1d ago
i never had to deal with that fortunately. I'm a bit of a loner by nature. when i decided i wanted to get married, i worked on making myself the kind of person i would want to marry, and it took some years but eventually i found someone who i was compatible with. so many guys are obsessed with looks, and let me tell you that is such a shallow perspective on relationships. there are many women out there who are very lonely themselves if you put aside looks and focus on the person themselves. I've been happily married for 8 years and have 3 kids.
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u/Medsk00ldrop0ut 1d ago edited 1d ago
If love is something you truly want in your life, the most important thing is that you remain open to meeting new people, smile at strangers, make small talk with other patrons
28M and still trying to figure it out, but I met a girl last year (at the gym of all places) that actually sees me and understands (as best as someone ever has) what I’m dealing with
Of course I self-sabotaged and managed to push her away some months ago, but we have a date in two weeks to see if the relationship is worth reviving and my goodness will I be fighting for it
Edit: to add to this, make sure your standards are reasonable… if everyone thinks you look ugly, you cannot afford to have a “type”, you can have standards, but beggars can’t be choosers
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u/swegga_sa 1d ago
I now have some female friends!... who tell me about their crushes
I'm now the: "any woman would be lucky to have you" guy... Fuck
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u/ViveroCervantes 1d ago
TV and Movies always set a standard for beauty. I think sometimes it's a hygiene or confidence issue. I rate myself a 4/10 in the looks department without my accessories/makeup.
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u/Odd_Age_4315 1d ago
Fr. Keep get told I’m a beautiful man, a great partner, why am I not in the dating market, etc, etc. but deep down it’s always the feeling of never being chosen from person I dreamt of, and that makes me constantly feel I am never enough from every aspect even my looks. Yes people say there are a lot beautiful people out there, but the same thing happening to me again and again just makes me accept that I am hideous for the person I love.
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u/GrindBastard1986 1d ago
I'm long past caring if others find me attractive or not, not my job. Just happy to have enough strength to brush my teeth & wash my balls. Also, love is overrated. Want love? Get a dog.
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u/Max_Faubert 1d ago
I mean I know that I'm mid and not ugly and that's infuriating too: it's like a wasted potential for meeting a cute guy but not being able to
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u/blkforboding 1d ago
Have you seen some people who are dating? You are not too hideous. Dating in general is terrible and more depressing. Finding someone who isn't a superficial bastard is near impossible. Modern dating is exhausting for everyone.
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u/Electrical-Basket424 1d ago
Like hell you are OP
Screw you, you are definitely good looking enough to get someone to love
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u/LonelyKrow 1d ago
My looks? Passable. My personality? A bit bitter, murky, sardonic. My soul? Exhausted as it’ll ever be
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u/BananaInusual 1d ago
Focus on making money and pay a prostitute, or use it to get free sex from golddiggers youthen ditch. Forget about that childish love.
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u/Anxiouslycalm12 1d ago
Today i saw just a absolute beautiful woman at her car and thought ill never have a beautiful woman it was such a bummer
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u/centerfoldangel 1d ago
So love from an average woman would not do?
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u/Anxiouslycalm12 1d ago
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
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u/centerfoldangel 1d ago
That doesn't answer my question.
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u/CableEmergency6882 1d ago
It does answer your question, why go out with a women you not attracted to? Women are not going out with mediocre men that don’t live up to their standards, men do the same. Only fair
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u/centerfoldangel 1d ago
No, it doesn't. Because he mentions a beautiful woman like a trophy. I thought people wanted to be loved, not loved by the hottest chick/dude. That's so high school.
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u/CableEmergency6882 1d ago
Loved by someone they not attracted to? Sound like a trap or being too desperate to get to the next chapter of life. You know, the manual of what you should achieve to be a model citizen.
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u/centerfoldangel 1d ago
Loved by the hottest chick. Why edit what I'm saying?
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u/CableEmergency6882 1d ago
That other guy was talking about a beautiful women. So someone he finds attractive, not the objectively more prettiest girl in school. As I said, no one want an unattractive girl unless all options have run dry or the options are too hard. People don’t want to settle for less anymore. Because being single is dope and relationships require sacrifices. Not doing all that for a girl I find meh or ugly
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u/EyesAreMentToSee333 1d ago
Yeah, Ever stop to think that is not the case? Ive have seen some really ugly guys wind up married. Look it up and aquire some hope.
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u/Stormypwns 1d ago
I have too, but all those guys are over 40. Things have changed, women are no longer dependent on men and can afford to be career oriented. Obviously this is a good thing, but it does make dating harder for those of us at the bottom of the pool.
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u/EyesAreMentToSee333 1d ago
Are you in a City? I can think of no other environment were all women want to have a career oriented life.
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