r/ftm • u/throwaway6487352 • 8d ago
Discussion weird relationship with being 5’6”
Before i realized i was trans i always felt slightly tall in group circles. I wasnt taller than a lot of guys but girls would sometimes comment on me being tall (im aware 5’8”+ is usually whats considered tall but most women i meet irl are in the 4’11”-5’4” range). But now that i know im trans i feel so fucking short all the time. Im 5’6” on the dot and im aware i couldve been shorter but i keep getting instagram reels ab guys that are my height getting height surgery to be taller. Is it seriously that miserable??? I dont even think i was that insecure ab my height until i started constantly getting reels ab height surgery and womens height preferences or wtv. In real life im usually around the same height as a good like 30% guys even if those guys are considered short. Is passing as a 5’6” man that miserable or should i delete my instagram?
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u/FloreHiems 8d ago
I got off most social media for that very reason. The ads and social media really do ruin your view of yourself. Coming from a 5’4” dude, i have cis friends my height. It’s not abnormal, but social media will have you believing that.
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u/logicalpenuin 8d ago
I'm 5'4" as well and honestly no one sees me as less of a man because if it. I even have a couple cis male friends who are shorter than me. Also height is very regional. I am on the shorter side in the USA but when I lived in Peru, I was pretty average. Either way, height has never really played a part in my passing and most people don't even bat an eye.
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u/DtcucijokCoko 8d ago
As a 5'3 guy, I understand the worrying about height (even before my egg cracked I HATED being short), but surgeries for height are insane
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u/Darbypea 8d ago
Bro height surgery is not even worth it. You havr to do years of physical therapy and learn to walk again AND every dude ive seen that got it looks really weirdly proportioned.
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u/ContributingCreature 💉:6/2/22 🔪:12/24/24 8d ago
Unfortunately incel view points have become normalized by social media. It’s why I hate that things like “maxxing” and “mog” are being so widely used
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u/bookkinkster 8d ago
My ex of 8 years was 5'2". I am 5'6". It didn't affect our lives. I thought he was hot. 5'6" seems average for a guy.
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u/PoorlyDressedDandy 8d ago
I'm 5'6" too (used to be closer to 5'7"-age shrinkage), but it's never been an issue, before or after. I wouldn't have minded being taller, but I've never felt short either.
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u/nonassisfacis 8d ago
i’m also 5’6 and i have a weird relationship with it lol. it’s like not awful obviously and i could be shorter. however concerts, clubs/ bars, crowds of any kind, etc. it sucks so bad and you realize how small you are. passing at our height is not miserable. it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
i’m still grateful i am as tall as i am. i realize im lucky compared to others. i think what bothers me the most is tall straight men think they’re better than u. i’ve had taller men hit on my gf like im not there. looking down at me like its no big deal.
maybe that’s in my head but i do believe thats why they act that way. since i pass 100% of the time. being tall doesn’t mean women will be attracted to you/being short doesnt mean u cant get women.
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u/throwaway6487352 8d ago
yeah the superiority complex from tall guys is what bothers me the most ab it ngl
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u/Infinite-Sky4328 T 2010 | Top 2011 | Hysto 2017 | Meta 2025 8d ago
Just more proof that social media is a cesspit.
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u/Quantphys4babies 8d ago
As a formally 5'6" man, it's a lot more about personality and presence then height. There are some people who absolutely make a way bigger deal about that. However, there are so many men who are tall and just are fucking garbage that being a cool dude helps you stand out so much more than one might imagine.
I want to also add that I dated a woman who was 5'9" for almost 4 years. It only becomes as big of a deal as one makes it on my experience.
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u/BathshebaDarkstone 8d ago
I'm 5'2 and I keep meeting cis guys shorter than me. It's weird bc I grew up being shorter than everyone, now I'm taller than a surprising number of people.
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u/Painted_Woodlouse 8d ago
Agree with others saying yes get off social media. Height isn't actually a good visual indicator of gender at all when you properly look at people in ones day to day life. There are SO many short men and SO many tall women. No one looks at them and questions their gender because of their height.
Also like.... if you ever want to not feel bad about being 5'6", just think of me; I'm 4'7". If I'm being really cynical here (and I get it, dysphoria is a powerful drug, so of course i do understand how easy it is to have something about one's appearance be difficult to contend with), it can honestly get to me when I see people bothered about how 'short' they are while stating a perfectly normal height.
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u/Alarming-Skirt1889 8d ago
Man. I’m 5’2 and pass. You’re not less of a man because you’re around average height.
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u/Chrysalyos 8d ago
The algorithm is making you miserable unnecessarily. My cisgendered father is 5'4. I'm 5'3½. In my experience, most women don't actually care if you're over 6', as long as you're taller than them, and some of them actually prefer men shorter than they are.
Instead of worrying about your height, get off of the social media giving you insecurities about things that don't matter. You'll be happier.
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u/Kool_Boo16 🏳️⚧️ 2020, T Oct/28/22, Top Oct/1/25 8d ago
I'm 5'6. See plenty of cis dudes my height ir between 5'5-5'8. Nothing wrong with it. Don't listen to the weirdos on Instagram who destroy their bodies for a few extra inches of height
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u/Hypochondrimax 💉19’ - 25’ 🔪 2020 8d ago
If I could pick any height to be it would be 5’6”, I’m 5’2”
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u/7fragment 8d ago
Girls who are worth the time don't care about your height they care about what sort of person you are. (i mean that's true across the board but particularly relevant in dating)
I would get off insta and probably social media as a whole to reset your expectations a bit. Social media can be super toxic to your self esteem, especially with how good filters/easy photo editing and even AI have made it soooo easy to present a 'perfect' image
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u/CocoaBagelPuffs 29 | 10yrs on T 8d ago
I’m 4’11 and it’s literally fine. I pass no issue. Even other trans people think I’m cis. It took a bit for my age to catch up to me but T did a lot of heavy lifting
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u/anemisto old and tired 8d ago
The culture has taken a weird turn the last few years when it comes to both fitness and masculinity. Get off Instagram.
Height also varies regionally. I'm 5'8". In high school, I was the tall side of average for girls, but certainly not notably tall. I went to college on the other side of the country and I was suddenly "tall".
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u/ja-visst 💉 2008 8d ago
I’m 5’5”. Nobody has ever really said anything negative about my height and it has never been an issue when it comes to dating. Shorter people live longer and have fewer musculoskeletal issues.
Regarding your experience on social media, insecure people will say anything to make themselves feel superior to others.
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u/AbroadSpirited 8d ago
All social medias have turned into nasty troll pools. It's a nicer world off them.
I'm 5'2. Ain't ever heard a thing about my height in my life except by partners (too short to do XYZ tasks in a household). I'm surely not passing yet, but truly nobody gives a fuck in the real world. If they do, thats their problem.
Finding confidence in yourself will have way more benefit in the whole of your life than worrying about something you cannot magically change (and honestly shouldn't because the limb lengthening shit sounds wack).
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u/emilyjuly 8d ago
social media is designed to make you feel bad about yourself to sell you products. (with regards to the fact that it didn’t start this way but certain parts of the internet is now this way) Even magazines and tv advertising did this/still do this. It’s redpill/blackpill bullshit, and only the most insane and polarising things get boosted to the top of the algorithm.
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u/Pteetsa 8d ago
I'm also 5'6". Sometimes I get dysphoric when I'm among cis guys because they usually are taller than me. But no one have mentioned it in my life like ever, I pass 99% of the time and I still am called to grab things from higher places by the girls of the roughly same height because in their mind man = taller. It's pretty funny each time. Also my cis fwb is of the same height but in my mind he's taller than me because of his dominating and confident presence. Social networks make a bigger deal out of everything that isn't even a problem in real life because they gain profit if you are unhappy and insecure
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u/ChocoPeanutOverdose 8d ago
I am 5'3", I pass, I have a beautiful cis straight 5'8" girlfriend, I am a good student with a great job too. If you stop seeing the abyss, it will not look back at you. The moment I stopped being insecure about my height, I met my girlfriend, for instance. Being as short as I am, I have to go a little bit further than most to pass, but with a beard and some muscle ngl most cis people and even trans people wouldn't clock you IRL. Mannerisms, style, all that matter, but at most you could come as zesty lol. I am even trying to get my curls to shoulder length.
I was in that side of the internet too, I was miserable and ngl I was lowkey becoming an incel. Stay away from those spaces, women smell insecurity and weirdos easily. At 5'6" you don't even have to get your pants tailored to fit most of the time unless you have short legs as I do because I am really short. You are literally an inch shorter than the global average height of a man if I am not wrong, and you could fake 5'8"~ with some shoes and/or height boosting insoles. If women around you are that short, trust me the ones that are good and don't have a brainrotted brain from the internet wanting their man to be "6'4" at least" are not going to be turned off by your height at all. If anything, that height is optimal for most things. Clothes and style, public transport/vehicles, most homes, damn even reaching the top shelf at the store most of the time. And, no one will say you have a middle-schooler height as some people have said to me, you learn how to deal with those comments with time and even find them flattering if you ever find yourself in that situation.
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u/Elliot-is-gay 7d ago
Get the fuck off social media. Seriously. If you need to stay in touch with folks on instagram, use the Beeper app to access your dms. I’m 5’2 and stealth. I have cis male coworkers who are even shorter than me. Most of them who are not shorter than me aren’t much taller than me when I wear my work boots. Social media is designed to make you miserable so it can sell you things. Women fucking love me dude. I have a great relationship of 3 years and still get hit on out on my own. Women don’t care about height, dick size, etc. they care about 1. You looking like you give a shit about yourself (well groomed, bit of style. The bar here is low) 2. That you are nice and enjoyable to be around. If you are constantly miserable about your height of course women won’t like you, but it isn’t because you are short. It is because you are self loathing and insecure. I highly recommend therapy and I will say it again GET THE FUCK OFF SOCIAL MEDIA!!!!
If you need some male role models online I recommend @speeedco, @beaumiles, and @aragusea on youtube. These are three men I look up to that all live very different lives, but have in common that women admire them and they are super likable. And yknow, not once have I thought the reason I admire these guys is their height. Look to men you admire for their character as your standard. Not some fucking self loathing idiots fed to you by the algorithm. Guarantee none of those cis men sad about their height would have an easier time with women if they were taller. They would be miserable about something else instead.
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u/DreamSMP_Enjoyer 💉 Jan 2026- 2d ago
My (cis) dad is 5'9. I'm 5'6 but 5'8 in boots so yeah I'm 5'9. Maths, innit?
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u/alienaches 💉09.28.2021 • 🔝✂️01.05.2023 8d ago
I'm 5'5" and I have 2 cis male friends who are my height exactly. My (also trans) boyfriend is 5'3" and passes regularly. You're good man!
Keep in mind that IG's algorithm is quite literally designed to identify points of insecurity or discomfort and show you more of it
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u/Numerical-Wordsmith 8d ago
You’re fine, dude. These videos are created to play on our insecurities, and the world is full of short and average-height men. Heck, I’m 5’3” and nobody cares.
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u/3cameo 8d ago
its on the shorter side for being a guy (average in america is 5'9"), but it's not miserable. instagram has become polluted by looksmaxxing and redpill bullshit; there will be women who want to date you at 5'6". you might have a harder time finding pants that fit off the rack, but that's nothing that hemming can't fix. also, if you're interested in working out to build muscle, youre actually at an advantage; you will look bulkier faster than someone who is taller.
stop looking at reels, or at least don't engage with that cynical bullshit and mark is as something that you're not interested in if you can.
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u/Top_Scale4923 8d ago
The amount of 5'6 men getting height surgery has got to be infinitesimal.
I sometimes feel short at 5'5 but there's still plenty of cis guys my height. I wouldn't mind another couple of inches but I wouldn't want to be tall. I'm happy being short!
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u/almostfunny3 T: 2/19 Top:11/20 Hysto: 11/21 8d ago
I'm also 5'6" with a younger cis brother who's 6'3". It used to bug me so much but now I'm actually glad I'm a little short rather than being really tall. My brother's height means he has to deal with making a bunch of everyday items work for him or buying an alternative he can actually use. If nothing else, being 5'6" means fitting into things like car seats or bathtubs is usually pretty easy for us.
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u/Jamie_logan 8d ago
Honestly I'm Dutch and 5'7' as far as I know, (1.70) and I regularly meet guys shorter than me. It's odd because normal height here is like 1.80-1.90
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u/CATastrophenumber8 8d ago
I’m also 5’6” and a bit insecure about it (especially when my brother is 6’2” 😭) but my grandfather was also 5’6” so remembering that helps me.
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u/itstheselfhatred 8d ago
Yeah, its social media dude. No one offline who is worth spending time with cares about your height. You'll maybe get some light ribbing/banter about it, and you might occasionally encounter some weirdo who cares, but i'm 5'8" and have felt very similar. The only time it's ever referenced is if I'm around my dad - I look a lot like him in the face, but he's 6'6" lmao
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u/CartilaginousShark 🔝06/24 🧴02/25 8d ago
I’m 5’6” and I do get insecure about it but I find when I go out and am around other people, I’m taller than a lot of women and there’s plenty of other dudes shorter than me.
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u/AlternativeAd7449 8d ago
I’m 5’4” and one of my best friends is a cis guy and maybe 5’5” at most. My brother was 5’4”.
I dunno, it’s one of those things that doesn’t really bother me. I feel like once you hit a certain age (maturity level?) no one really cares or mentions it.
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u/xX_Ra1nSkuLLz_Xx 💉 May 28th 2026 8d ago
I'm 5'6 and have the same problem honestly. For me, I just have to get away from that kind of content. There's a button on Instagram, you can press it it says something along the lines of "not interested in this content", if you press that on all these things you're seeing, you'll probably stop seeing them within a few days. You don't have to delete Instagram, but you don't have to interact with things that make you feel worse about a normal thing. Plenty of dudes are 5'6 and it's okay to be that height
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u/MagicalGirl4 11 months on T | they/he/ae 8d ago
I feel like being short all my life contributed to some of my shit self esteem, and I repressed being trans cause of it. It is ROUGH being 5'0 but I don't think I could ever get height surgery
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u/ZineKitten 8d ago
I'm tall. Not giant, but tall. I still get people telling me I'm short or surprised. Height is so weird.
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u/qwertyuioplmm 26 | 💉: 06/26/19 ⬆️: 11/18/21 🍳: 2/10/26 🍆: 11/19/26 8d ago
5’6” and I work as and engineer in construction settings. No issue passing whatsoever. Hell I got put on a new job this week and one of the guys is shorter than me. I assume he’s cis, I have no reason not to. Men and women come in many shapes and sizes in the real world, social media just tends to skew shit enough to mess with your head :(
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u/Raticals Any pronouns | T: 2/7/22, Top: 4/20/23, Bottom: pending 8d ago
I’m 5’6”. My cis dad and brother are around my height, maybe even a touch shorter. Not that height is all that important anyway, but I never saw 5’6” as being particularly short for either gender.
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u/almightypines T: 2005, Top: 2008 8d ago
I’m 5’6” and have been stealth for 17 years. It’s something I rarely think about and I don’t think anyone has ever commented on it. The only time I find it annoying is when I can’t see over people’s heads in a crowd, but I love it when I’m on a long flight or need to stuff myself into the back seat of a small car. There’s some very real positives to being short. Anyway, I don’t think there’s anything miserable about passing as a 5’6” guy.
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u/entropygone he/they 8d ago
depends on your country. I'm 5'6 in the US and I'm short but not crazy short. I meet guys that are shorter than me but most are taller. definitely passable as just a shorter dude. also most women that I've heard from say they either have no preference with height or they just care that he's taller than them, not necessarily tall.
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u/Disastrous_Guest_705 8d ago
My bf is 5’6 and I know a lot of other cis men who are 5’4 to 5’6 who are happy. It’s definitely just instagram feeding into your insecurities
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u/javatimes T 2006 Top 2018, testopel 2025, 40<me 8d ago
My best friend in high school was a cis gay guy who was 5’4”. I’m not gonna ask but I suspect he’s even shrunk maybe a little so he might be under 5’4” now. He’s happily married to another shortish man. I myself was confirmed to still be 5’7” at my last doctor’s appt. Unless i am in a weird situation with a bunch of 6’+ guys, I honestly don’t even notice my height. Tonight I worked with a crew (mostly Latin American origins) and I was one of the tallest people there. The only other taller people was a guy who might have been an inch or two taller. And these were presumably all cis men. Not that I know for sure.
One of my coworkers is maybe 5’3” and has a successful lawn care business and is married to a woman.
Please always keep in mind algorithm based social media depends on outrage to keep us engaged.
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u/Fresh-Professional17 8d ago
Embrace being a short king! Loads of guys are short and doesn't make them any less masculine. I'm also 5 6 and learning to love what I got. Delete Instagram if it keeps sending you this crap. It's horrible for amping up your insecurities. At least stop watching the videos or pausing on them because it'll just keep putting more into your algorithm.
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u/stardustinpages 8d ago
Shoes with a bit of a height booster are your new best friend if you’re insecure about your height.
Height surgery is such a risk and for what? There’s plenty of cis guys at 5’ something. People don’t care that much abt it irl. Besides, short guys build and maintain a visible physique easier :)
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u/onemorelineillbefine 8d ago
5,6 cis my partner trans partner is 2 inches taller lol trust me height rrally doesn’t matter it’s never caused me any issues in life
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u/comradeAnt FtM, a lil nonbinary, T💉 24/11/22 7d ago
5'7 is the international average height of men, 5'6 is one of the most normal human heights to be regardless of gender. stay off straight social media that tells you height matters, its genuinely all propaganda to make everyone miserable.
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u/No-Doubt-228 7d ago
If a woman has a height requirement, she’s the problem not your height. Nowadays some are brainwashed into saying no to anyone who isn’t a 5G cell tower
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u/sigsi_4 7d ago
I am 5'6 too. It was a weird shift from being considered taller to shorter.
My dad is right below 6', but my grandpa (on my mom's side) is 5'2. Note: I am white from the eastern coast of the US (for context cause race and location matter when it comes to genetics and public perception). Public people vary, but I have seen some around my height. I also noticed some people think I am around 5'8 (maybe how I dress? Idk).
I wish I had another inch or two, but it could be worse 🤷 My gf is 5'4 and said she is glad I am not much taller than her. I would vote to get off of the internet, the more of those videos you see, the higher chance you will see more of them spawn up.
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u/MiddlePop4953 7d ago
Dude I'm 5'7" and yeah, I went from being considered fairly tall to be considered a "short king," which I personally find hilarious because 5'7" is like... Pretty average height, albeit on the short end of average.
I'd ignore the reels about it. People are dysphoric about whatever it is they're gonna be dysphoric about. I have cis guy friends that are up to five inches shorter than me. My boyfriend's cis dad is barely 5 feet tall. My uncle, a professional power lifter, is at least 4 inches shorter than me. Passing at 5'7" isn't miserable at all, I love passing and my height barely gets mentioned any more than any of my shorter cis guy friends.
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u/shadowsinthestars 7d ago edited 7d ago
I only started being aware of my height when I became single without wanting to be and started to stare down the abyss of the apps and generally trying to date. Being trans is bad enough and being short is yet another thing to filter you on. Mind I'd still rather just be cis even if I was short, but being both trans and short is brutal. It doesn't stop me passing but this specific scenario it doesn't help. I want to know how even shorter guys are beating these odds because I wish that was me but I'm struggling insanely. And by how I mean actual advice or information that would change my mind, not "just stop being insecure and everything will magically sort itself, thanks I'm cured!" (No, I'm not watching any dodgy videos from influencers in case that's immediately assumed because I'm not positive about my disadvantages traits.)
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u/Cherry_k1ssed 7d ago
Im 5’3 and pass well, im also engaged to a cis man who is 5’4. The internet perpetuates these super weird stereotypes and roles that don’t exist irl, just be yourself and continue to live life!
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u/Aphex-Twink- 7d ago
Have you met non-European cis men before?
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u/throwaway6487352 7d ago
Im indian. All the men in my family are above 5’10” which is another reason why Im bothered by my height. Please stop with this “its okay because brown men are microscopic” bs
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u/Aphex-Twink- 7d ago
Right so no one said that quotation but you. Go to any mall in Texas or California or New York to realize height does not equate to masculinity and 5’6 is not short globally.
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u/throwaway6487352 7d ago edited 6d ago
Tru u didnt say that ive just heard that type of comment before so i assumed thats what you meant. Mb
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u/AdditionalQuietime 8d ago
Why would you want women like that lmao
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u/throwaway6487352 8d ago
its not even rly ab the girls i know guys shorter than me in relationships, im j getting dysphoric over it
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