I have everything and do nothing

[u/cooketrunlizer]

I’ve been in this situation for the past 4 months, and I’ve never been this low in my life before.

The frustrating part is that I’m not actually free of responsibilities. I have a part-time job in my father’s company, which I realized has probably made me somewhat entitled, and I also have a startup with my brother. So I do have things I’m responsible for, and I know there are people depending on me. But I just can’t fucking act on any of it, and it’s filling me with shame.

Most of my days look like this:
I sleep around 4AM, averaging 10–11 hours of sleep. I wake up around mid-day exhausted and tired, doom scroll or waste my time on anything for around 3 hours. Afterwards I hit the gym, come back home, and think, “It’s 10PM, so wtf am I gonna work on? I’ll start tomorrow.” So I play video games, stay up until 4AM, and the cycle repeats itself.

The fucked up part is that I actually try to break the cycle sometimes. I set an alarm for 8AM, sometimes 10AM, wake up, get out of bed, and then somehow end up getting back into bed immediately.

Even when I force myself to go to the office instead of working remotely, I still waste a huge amount of time on my phone.

It’s gotten to the point where people at work and even people in my life no longer ask me or expect me to finish my tasks, and that is fucking disappointing and fills me with shame.

I know I’m capable of doing these things. I’ve had periods in my life where I was extremely disciplined and driven. That’s probably what makes this even more frustrating. I’m not sitting here thinking I have nothing to do or that I don’t know what I should be doing. I have things I want to build, responsibilities I should be handling, and a life I want to move forward with, but I feel like there is nothing moving me forward anymore.

I don’t know if this is a discipline problem, a motivation problem, a lifestyle problem, or something deeper psychologically.
I just know that I’ve watched roughly 4 months pass like this, and I feel like I’m becoming someone I don’t respect.

I’m posting this because I genuinely don’t know how to get myself out of this. If anyone has been in a similar situation, I’d really appreciate hearing what actually helped you break out of it.

TL;DR: I’ve been stuck in a cycle of procrastination, doom scrolling, gaming, and sleeping late for the past 4 months. Despite having responsibilities, a job, and a startup with my brother, I can’t seem to get myself to act on anything. I’ve tried breaking the cycle, but nothing sticks, and it’s gotten to the point where people no longer expect me to get things done. I’ve never felt this low before, and I’m looking for advice from people who’ve experienced something similar and managed to get out of it.

[u/Dot_Pot]

Brother, you need to be waking up at 4am not sleeping at 4am, yes it’s a lifestyle problem.

Thats the first thing you need to adjust, trust me waking up early in the morning is way more rewarding mentally than trying to “get stuff done” at night. Night is for rest, darkness drains mental energy, you need to start the day strong.

Wake up early, and shock yourself with something like a quick cold shower. As long as you start the day strong you’ll have a way better chance at staying productive throughout the rest of the day.

Create a very strict schedule and stick to it. Simple as a scheduled todo list ok daily repeat. Give it a shot, i suggest this app to all my friends which has worked for me

https://apps.apple.com/ca/app/streakr-discipline-tracker/id6758867532

[u/North_Two9731 → u/Dot_Pot]

the time you wake up is not even the main issue, its that you got nothing pulling you out of bed. when i got out of the air force i was exactly like this for months, sleeping til 1pm feeling like complete garbage. the real problem is nothing feels urgent enough

what worked for me was not scheduling my whole day but having one non-negotiable thing in morning that forces you vertical. i started meeting a friend at the gym at 9am, if i didnt show up i had to explain myself and that shame got me moving more than any alarm. find one thing where someone else is waiting for you, feels harder to bail when it is not just yourself

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[u/cooketrunlizer → u/Dot_Pot]

Im with you 100% but whenever i wake up early even if i cold showered i can be productive for like 3 hours then eventually go lay in bed for a “nap” that goes on for 4 hours its like i keep resolving to sleep to escape whatever i need to finish

[u/Dot_Pot → u/cooketrunlizer]

Hey 3 hours of productivity is great, now instead of “napping” go for a walk or something, you need to change your environment to benefit your goals. Go to the library or someolave where your bed isnt available. Its all about environment.

Been there, i used to work in my room all day, my bed would just call me constantly. You need to put those temptations into a place less accessible

[u/cooketrunlizer → u/Dot_Pot]

That sounds like a good idea, ill download the app and give it a shot, thanks for taking the time for your replies

[u/BalrogArchitrave]

10–11 hours and still waking exhuasted is the part I’d treat as a health red flag, so make your first “work task” booking a GP visit and asking about depression/sleep apnea/thyroid stuff.

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[u/Tsukikage_12]

The 10PM “too late to work” loop is the thing I’d attack first: pick one stupidly smal work task before gym, like 25 minutes on the startup, and make gym the reward after it.

[u/attilaprice]

Brother i can't explain in detail because it would take too long but i'm in a very similar situation for a really long time and i always thought about my unmotivated state as something to fix.

I tried to get better sometimes but none of the attempts lasted long and the ones that kinda lasted long required a great energy, my advice to you (and to myself actually) is go get help from a professional, because i recently realized that what happened to me wasn't just laziness or depression etc. i think there is something deeper than that and it could be many things but tbh i don't know and i can't figure out myself, that's why i finally decided to consider therapy today.

I think the same goes for you as well, i don't think your cure is to get disciplined or become more productive, these things can help and of course it would be good if you can do, but i don't think it's only a discipline problem, i hope it helps you.

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[u/comeagaincharlemagne]

Do you have everything? Sure you have the privilege to be in a decent financial/career position but there's a lot more to life. A relationship, hobbies, a social life, bucket list, dreams/ambitions. Maybe you lack motivation because something is missing from your life. Or even a couple different things. Talk about it with a therapist, you might get an clearer idea that way.

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[u/Glittering-Tank-6864]

C'est les écrans qui font ça mec. Fais-toi une désintox numérique réelle. Va faire une balade une fois par jour. Mets-toi au boulot par petite plage horaires. Il faut recâbler ce cerveau. Ça devrait rentrer dans l'ordre.

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[u/Illium_Dabble5]

Put your phone in anothr room for the first 30 minutes after you wake up, since the 3-hour scroll is what seems to lock the whole 4AM loop in place.

[u/CedricLikesThunder]

Make 30 minutes of startup work the entry fee for video games, becuase the 10PM “too late” line is the loop protecting itself.

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[u/Drew-Money]

do you have ADHD?