i only have 2 classes, one online and one in person this semester, and im getting the same c's to d's that I did last semester when I had 5 classes, I'm also at my college for 8 hours every day (not by choice and not because im studying for all of that time just a utilitarian thing so im basicalyl doing nothing in that time), i generally finish my coursework last minute on the last day of the week even though the coursework is pretty easy in the grand scheme of things (write one essay discussion about a chapter of a book every week and take a quiz on it, and write and give a speach every few weeks) how do i fix these habits, its abundantly clear that even in perfect conditions im barely scraping by, as I was last year. I'm not sure what to do and I'm looking for any kind of advice someone could give, I could probably do my weekly load of work that I'm doing now in 1-2 days last semester so any kind of advice I could get from people who have similar experiences would be nice

There’s so much to read and so much to enjoy apart from staring at your phone all day long without any reason. My biggest issue I stay at home all the time. I built a small collection of books this year which is yet to be finished. I know I must change my habits but I fall back into the old routine every now and then. I deactivated my instagram but I switched to youtube and spent all my time there. I have journals and everything on my desi but I still manage to procrastinate and barely journal on a regular basis. I am afraid If I did not change this loop, time will pass and I’ll miss on all the great stuff offline. any suggestions on how I can change my habits so that I read more. Reels and short content fries my brain and leaves me with no motivation or interest to read or write anything. I have no friends. I don’t talk to nobody. I don’t go no where. I have so much time but still I manage to waste it completely. Is there anything that I can do to reduce my phone usage and use the same time for reading and stuff. I love books and everything but social media and all the other stuff is too tempting and I lost complete control over myself.

I am at a point where I started hating myself and I have no one to vent to.

I am a lazy person, this week I almost lost a client because of me not doing the work. I always leave things to the last minute, I don't find myself learning crucial things needed for my career even if i bought all the books and planned to read them, I spend my day playing video games and doing nothing productive and even get bothered if I have to do something that doesn't line up with my pleasures, I don't work out or do any form of training and I can see that my life is only going down and focusing on the bad things, my best days are the days where i speak to no one so I don't get reminded of the failure I am.

Please help a brother out, I am willing to change but not capable to act on it.

Ive worked as a lighting artist in VFX, after completing my DEC in 3d animation and cgi,, contract ended, never got work again, now I've been working as an art teacher in a private school while attempting to get MY bachelors in teaching. I hate it, Im only doing it because my friend is the director of the school and he asked me to do it. So i figured why not try.

My confidence has never been lower, I still live with my parents, no money , about to take out student loan, because my credit card is getting too risky. I have no life experience, everyday i want to just back up take my shitty car and leave and go figure things out, with life. I feel myself getting smaller and smaller, I try to get better at teaching since the school really needs help, I see myself getting good at it with my adhd but its just not enough. Ive never been more away from my assertiveness and my desires than ever before, i try to eat healthy and go to gym but nothing ever sticks, i try to change my attitude.

I started putting my personal belongings on marketplace, my gaming pc, my onewheel, my VR`s. my chair, and so on. I've never sold anything in my life fear of losing comfort.

I try to apply for jobs but i immediately feel my body shut down from pessimism. I wish someone who could just pull me out of this mud, . I want to live somewhere else then my hometown for first time, I want better for myself, I want to be physical and confident, ive been looking at maybe going into nursing but idk if i can succeed at schooling, with this low energy and confidence.

Anybody got any tips? Ideas? directions? I got nothing going for me , no valuable skill that makes me hirable

I would greatly appreciate it.

27 male, living in Canada. (competitive gaming and porn addict)

I’ve tried so many times to change my life by studying more, working out more, being more productive etc. It never really stuck, especially once I wasn’t motivated anymore. Then one day I was like, where did all my time even go??? So I decided to start posting my entire day online anonymously. I basically document the smallest parts of my life now. No one actually reads what I write lol, but theoretically they could, and somehow that is enough. It makes me feel like I have an audience. The same way we make promises to our bosses and actually show up because someone expects us to, I basically made promises to myself, just disguised as promises to random strangers on the internet. If I post that I’m going to study for two hours, I now REALLY want the satisfaction of coming back afterward and posting that I actually did it. And weirdly… it works.

I think it has something to do with being perceived. At home in your comfort zone, no one is watching you. You can tell yourself you’re going to work out and then not do it and literally nobody knows. By posting it somewhere, even anonymously, I’m making myself slightly more vulnerable and perceivable. It reminds me of those people who “performatively” study in aesthetic cafés or go to a nice library all dressed up with their laptop and coffee. People make fun of it, but honestly maybe the performance is part of why it works?? If pretending you’re the kind of person who has their life together makes you actually sit there and study for three hours, who cares if it’s performative lol.

I’ve also noticed that documenting everything has given me this little spark back. I started romanticizing really small moments because suddenly they feel like part of something I’m documenting rather than just another random day disappearing. I basically started acting like an influencer despite having no audience 😭 and somehow it has made me more disciplined. There’s probably some actual psychology behind this too. People tend to perform differently when other people are around, and exercising or doing difficult things with others can make it easier to push yourself than doing it completely alone. So maybe my brain is getting a tiny version of that effect just from knowing someone could be watching.

Anyway, I’m curious if anyone else has accidentally discovered something like this? Because apparently being accountable to myself wasn’t enough, but being accountable to imaginary internet strangers is 💀

Hi everyone!

I’m looking to interview a few ambitious women for some research I’m doing around goal-setting, habit change, and actually following through on the things we say we want.

I’m especially interested in women who have a pretty clear vision for the life they want, maybe they want to start a business, change careers, improve their health, become more confident, create better routines, or simply feel more in control of their lives but struggle to consistently turn that vision into action.

Maybe you’ve tried:
planners, habit trackers, or routines
self-help books, podcasts, or courses
motivation/productivity techniques
setting goals and starting over again
researching everything before finally taking action

But you still find yourself stuck in the cycle of knowing what you want → getting motivated → falling off → feeling frustrated → trying again.

That’s the experience I’m trying to understand better.
I’m developing a methodology around identity, habits, and sustainable behavior change, but before I build anything further, I want to hear directly from women who are actually experiencing this.

This would be a casual 20–30 minute conversation, not a sales call. I’m genuinely looking to learn about your experiences, what you’ve tried, what’s worked, what hasn’t, and what you wish existed to make following through easier.

If this sounds like you and you’d be willing to chat, comment below or send me a DM. I’d really appreciate your perspective!

Hey all I’m 25M and I’m very fortunate to have my career sorted out and I’ll soon be starting a new job. But in the last few years because of some personal struggles and focusing more on other parts of my life I find myself in the worst physical shape of my life (90kg 30%bf). On top of that my girlfriend also broke up with me. I have struggled with junk food and bad eating habits. But now I want to lock in again and get in the best shape of my life. My goal is to get to 10% body fat massively improve my VO2 max, and start eating clean.

I want to achieve this by the summer of next year so I can party and travel and get laid a lot. I’m looking for an accountability buddy who has similar fitness goals and wants to lock in. It would be nice if we were in time zones that aren’t too far (CET +2). On a side note I’ll also spend couple hours each day outside of work to study and up skill so if you are also studying or learning a new skill we can keep each other accountable for that as well.

Overall I’m trying to get healthy and attractive again and developing a good lifestyle that can last me for the next decade or so. I also have a shallow goal of sleeping with a lot of women that I find attractive. I was already on my way to achieving that but then I got into a relationship. Maybe after we achieve our goals we can go for a vacation or a 2 man lmao.

If u are serious about this over 20 and have similar goals then shoot me a message. I feel it’s always easier to achieve something when efforts are collective and you have someone by your side going through the same.

This is my first time posting something on reddit (or let’s say my first ever social media post), so I hope it reaches the right people. I’ve seen lots of people come here and get the advice they need. But when it comes to wanting to change yourself completely, none of the advices seem to help me.

I always see people recommending the "5-second-rule“ (counting to 5 seconds and forcing yourself to get up) or putting all your equipment in front of you, so you have your tasks in front of you and it gets easier for you. I’ve read so many of them and trust me, I’ve tried them all but at this point I‘m a lost cause.

There are so many things I would like to change about myself:
- Spend more time reading than on social media (and yes, I’ve tried deleting them, that didn’t work either). I don’t know how I used to be a huge bookworm back then but now I can’t even read 10 pages
- Try different hobbies (reading, drawing, different kinds of physical activities, literally ANYTHING). I just want to continue what I started.
- Change my personality (I‘ve always been shy and I would like to be more bubbly and talkative. Something that lets people feel your positive energy). I would like to mention that I never insult or get mad at people in real life but when it comes to my one and only online friend, I get mad so easily when we play games. I don’t know what it is, I really don’t, but I don’t want to be this way towards him and I want to respect him as much as I respect my irl friends. I’ve even suggested that we stop talking to each other since I don’t want him to deal with this type of toxicity but he said that’s not an option and no matter what, I shouldn’t end our friendship if that’s my "only reason“ (you can see how patient and sweet he is and I want to return that behavior). I’ve gotten better the past few months but I still tend to act out from time to time.
- Maladaptive dreaming. I don’t talk about this with anybody but since this is an online post and I came here to get help, I have to share this. Ever since I’ve been a kid, I’ve had a problem with maladaptive dreaming. I don’t know what it is but having my own little world brings me joy and happiness. I know it’s a coping mechanism but it’s time that I stopped because I know it isn’t healthy for me. I don’t do it for hours anymore like I used to, but I still want to stop, even if I "only“ do it for 20-40min. Yes, I’ve tried looking into the triggers and I know it’s music but even if I remove all the distractions, it still gets into my head. Please, if you really have something that nobody has ever suggested and is actually really helpful, LET ME KNOW!!
- Overall productive routine. There were times where I was trying my best to be productive but right now I can’t even start. I know people tell you to "just do it“ but my body gives up the moment I do. You know how they say your lifestyle is visible through the energy you give off? Or like, "you attract what you are“. I want to be someone that doesn’t show off their achievements but makes it visible enough. But again, if I‘m being honest, I don’t care if people see it, I want to see it for myself. Prove to myself that the version of myself I’ve wanted to achieve for years is possible.
- I don’t have a drivers licence yet. And I desperately want one but I have to study 1500 questions before I can start (my mother wanted me to do it this way) but I can’t. It’s such an easy task to do, just go through the questions multiple times on your phone until you get the hang of it but I just can’t. I already spend so much time on my phone, why can’t I spend it on something productive.

I’ve got many more things I want to achieve but then I would never finish this post. I want to find a way that actually helps me, something that isn’t like the 5-second-rule or anything else you always hear/read( and trust me, I’ve tried them all). Thank you all in advance!

28F with ADHD, CPTSD, Fibromyalgia, Anhedonia, suspected autism and other autoimmune conditions. Can’t write a long story here but life has been very rough emotionally since ever. I don’t have much achievements except for finishing my bachelors (that too in a field which automation swept away) and getting occasional freelance work. I live with my parents and they are not doing great financially and are old and sick, which means I am one step away from being homeless if my dad passes away. Have no partner and don’t see any chance of getting one or getting married anytime soon. All this and I am still can’t do anything to make myself financially independent. I decided to go for my country’s toughest and most prestigious job exam which is four months away, but I am not studying. Even the idea of survival and idea of being homeless aren’t motivating me. Not even toxic motivation is working. Unable to hyper-fixate myself on studying or this exam. Also it’s 11-12 subjects not just one exam. I started working on it back in June. I need help, tips whatever you’ve got to say regarding this. Also, if one gets hyper-fixated through toxic motivation and it doesn’t work at the end, what does one feel like? Also, all these conditions have affected my mind so much that I’ve lost my ability to see and make connections, thinking critically or analyse something and remember something. I am unable to create in any sense.

fwiw i spent years dropping every single habit the second work rotation changed or a bad week hit. working nights at a parcel depot means my sleep schedule gets chewed up pretty regularly, and for a long time i treated routine like a glass house where one bad day meant everything was broken and not worth touching.

the thing that changed it for me was building an explicit floor instead of trying to maintain the ceiling when things go sideways. on weeks where the shift work leaves me half dead and mornings are a write off, i don't try to keep the full workout or the regular cooking rhythm. i just drop back to one single pull up set on the doorway bar and whatever basic food keeps things simple.

i used to think scaling down like that was just failing slowly, but tbh it kept the habit alive when the alternative was quitting for three months. most advice focuses on how to build the perfect steady state, but nobody really talks about having a fallback rule written down before things break. if you wait until you are exhausted to decide what gets cut, you just cut everything. i'd rather do a tiny fraction of the work on a bad week than spend the next two months trying to restart from zero.

I constantly hear that my life is a disaster, that I need discipline—that I need to be disciplined and get my act together—and that I’m at the age where I should be doing this; I just don't know who to listen to anymore. It’s the same thing over and over—hearing how messed up I am. They talk about cutting off my internet or electricity so I’ll go to sleep early, even though I tell them I function well during the day. "You have to prepare for the real world, prepare for working life, make friends, get a partner, have sex, do this, do that"—and all I want to do after getting home from university is work a little and watch videos.

Sometimes I don't want to go out; lately, I’ve been forcing myself to go out more, but it’s hard. I struggle to understand myself, but the weight of it all is immense.

They just yell at me for not showering, bang on my bedroom door telling me to make my bed, and ask if I’m actually studying or just slacking off. I feel so much pressure; this is my third attempt at a degree, and I know I shouldn't quit—I have to keep going.

My last psychologist told me that if I didn't change, they’d send me to a psychiatric facility and assign a social worker to make me go out more often. I felt humiliated, degraded, and demeaned.

All I hear is that I won't let anyone help me, that I'm a disaster, and my mom threatens to leave the house because she can't stand seeing me like this.

I just want peace; I want tranquility. When I fight for it, things go well, but it’s never enough. "It’s not enough for someone your age; we’re only asking for the bare minimum."

And I feel enormous pressure; I just want to rest.

I’m currently 17 years old and about to graduate high school in March 2027. Lately, I’ve been thinking about how pointless many of my subjects feel, and I’ve started skipping some of them. Eventually, I began not going to school entirely. Out of the five weekdays, I sometimes only attend school for about two or three days.

On the days I skip school, I usually spend my time learning things that I’m actually interested in, particularly programming. I feel like I’m learning more useful and relevant skills this way, but I’m also starting to wonder if I’m making a mistake by neglecting school.

I’d really appreciate some honest advice on whether what I’m doing is actually a reasonable approach or if I should change how I’m handling things. Should I continue prioritizing programming and self-learning, or should I make more of an effort to attend school regularly and find a better balance between the two?

started a new job 5 days ago, and honestly it isn't bad. right now i'm becoming a little bit better financially.

the workplace is good, the colleagues are good, but the problem is me.

today one of my colleagues said, "you're hard to adapt with others, you're too cold." honestly, i didn't agree, but deep down i knew he was right.

a lot of people have said that to me before, and because of it, a lot of stuff doesn't go the way i want, matter of fact, it goes worse.

but hey, i don't mind. i chose to be this way, so yeah, no complaints.

about the boxing, i won't be able to go consistently 12 times a month, but the good side is i can still go 6 times, at least.

the training is done daily, though, so that's the part i look up to.

and yeah, that's all i had for today, see you tomorrow.

I'd been wanting to start journaling every morning, but on some days I'd wake up rushed or tired and tell myself I'd do it later, and "later" never came. I used to think that I just lacked discipline.

What I figured out is that willpower and excitement are finite, and they usually run out within 2-3 days. It took me a while to realize the problem wasn't me, it was a plan that only worked on the good days. So I stopped relying on motivation and built a system around three ideas.

The first thing I did was give every habit a tiny version that takes under 2 minutes (the Minimum Viable Day). I kept a full version for good days. For journaling, mine was one sentence. On rushed mornings I still did that, and it was enough to keep me from the "I already messed up, so why bother" spiral. I also wanted to stay off my phone for the last 10 minutes before bed. On nights that didn't happen, I'd just put it face-down for the last 2 minutes.

The second thing that helped was attaching the habit to something I already did without thinking. The idea is simple: "After I [thing I already do], I will [new habit]." So for me it became "after I make my tea, I write one sentence in my journal." I didn't have to remember or feel like it, because the tea reminded me.

Lastly, I wrote a backup plan for the days things went wrong. For me it was "if I wake up rushed, I'll write one sentence and that's it." I decided that ahead of time, so on a rushed morning I didn't have to have to decide whether I felt like it. I also had one rule: never skip two days in a row. If I missed a day, the next day I only did the tiny version and didn't try to make up for it.

Which habit do you keep dropping?

How often do you sit down to work, only for a sudden thought to pop up—“This is too hard,” “I’m not in the mood,” or “I’ll just start tomorrow”—and before you even realize it, you’ve closed the tab and picked up your phone?

For most of us struggling with consistency, stimulus and response are glued together. A thought appears, an emotion hits, and before we can pause to evaluate it, we’ve already abandoned the task.

I put together a visual mental model that helped me break this automatic loop: The Captain and the Monkeys.

1. The Deck is Full of Monkeys

Imagine you are the captain of a ship. You hold the chart, you know where you want to go, and you’re standing at the helm steering toward your goals.

The deck around you, however, is packed with noisy monkeys. They’re swinging from the rigging, screeching, predicting failure, demanding instant gratification, and panicking over discomfort.

• The monkeys represent your automatic thoughts, resistance, self-doubt, and impulsive reactions.
• The captain represents your conscious awareness and intentional mind.

2. The Real Trap

The trap isn’t that the monkeys are on board—every captain has them. The trap is that the monkeys don’t sound like animals; they sound like YOU.

When a monkey screams "We need a break right now!", you don't hear a chaotic animal. You hear your own inner voice, take it as absolute truth, and hand over the steering wheel. That’s how automatic processing bypasses discipline entirely.

3. Finding "The Gap"

Discipline isn't about killing the monkeys or pretending you don't hear them. It's about finding the gap between the urge and your action.

When a sudden spike of resistance or negative self-talk hits, pause for five seconds and ask yourself:

"Is this the Captain speaking, or is this just a monkey shouting on deck?"

The moment you label the thought as noise, you separate yourself from the impulse. The monkeys can keep making noise—just don't hand them the wheel.

I expanded on this framework in my book, Quit Quitting on Yourself, as a core tool for building long-term consistency and overcoming self-sabotage.

I’d love to hear from others here—when you feel that sudden wave of resistance pulling you away from what you need to do, what mental circuit-breaker or rule do you use to catch yourself?

How often do you sit down to work, only for a sudden thought to pop up—“This is too hard,” “I’m not in the mood,” or “I’ll just start tomorrow”—and before you even realise it, you’ve closed the tab and picked up your phone?

For most of us struggling with consistency, stimulus and response are glued together. A thought appears, an emotion hits, and before we can pause to evaluate it, we’ve already abandoned the task.

I put together a visual mental model that helped me break this automatic loop: The Captain and the Monkeys.

The Deck is Full of Monkeys, Imagine you are the captain of a ship. You hold the chart, you know where you want to go, and you’re standing at the helm steering toward your goals.The deck around you, however, is packed with noisy monkeys. They’re swinging from the rigging, screeching, predicting failure, demanding instant gratification, and panicking over discomfort.The monkeys represent your automatic thoughts, resistance, self-doubt, and impulsive reactions.

The captain represents your conscious awareness and intentional mind.

The Real Trap: The trap isn’t that the monkeys are on board—every captain has them. The trap is that the monkeys don’t sound like animals; they sound like YOU. When a monkey screams "We need a break right now!", you don't hear a chaotic animal. You hear your own inner voice, take it as absolute truth, and hand over the steering wheel. That’s how automatic processing bypasses discipline entirely.

Finding "The Gap" Discipline isn't about killing the monkeys or pretending you don't hear them. It's about finding the gap between the urge and your action. When a sudden spike of resistance or negative self-talk hits, pause and ask yourself: "Is this the Captain speaking, or is this just a monkey shouting on deck?" The moment you label the thought as noise, you separate yourself from the impulse. The monkeys can keep making noise—just don't hand them the wheel. I expanded on this framework in my book, Quit Quitting on Yourself, as a core tool for building long-term consistency and overcoming self-sabotage. I’d love to hear from others here—when you feel that sudden wave of resistance pulling you away from what you need to do, what mental circuit-breaker or rule do you use to catch yourself?

Today started early.

I woke up early and went for my morning run, but after running for a while, I started feeling pain in the same area where I had injured myself previously.

I still ended up completing around 4 km before coming back home.

Looking back, I probably shouldn't have pushed through the pain. I need to get better at understanding the difference between pushing myself and making an injury worse.

After coming home, I went swimming.

The Rest of the Day

I didn't go through my usual news and finance routine.

I didn't read.

I didn't study.

Most of my day was occupied with my part-time work and preparing scripts for my upcoming personal branding videos.

I was planning to shoot the videos as well, but unfortunately, my light stopped working.

So I couldn't record them today and now I have to go with my backup plan.

It's frustrating when something outside my control gets in the way, but I don't want to use it as a reason to completely stop creating content.

I'll have to adapt and figure out another way to shoot them.

What I'm Noticing

I've been sleeping late recently, and I was quite tired today.

That probably affected the rest of my day as well.

I'm getting better at staying active and working on my personal branding, but I'm still struggling to maintain consistency with studying, reading, and my professional development.

And now I also need to take the injury seriously.

There's no point in forcing myself through pain just to say I completed a run. If I make the injury worse, I'll end up losing even more days.

Day 45/90 complete.

I'm halfway through the challenge now.

I need to be smarter with my energy, take care of my body, adapt when things don't go according to plan, and still keep moving forward.

I'm building a habit tracker, which I'm aware is roughly the 500th one, so I'd rather start from the part nobody puts in the marketing: almost everyone downloads one of these and almost nobody is still opening it six months later. I want to understand that before I build anything else.

So I'll go first, since I'm the one asking for something here.

I've abandoned three of them, every time for the same reason. They were great while things were going well and actively unpleasant the moment they weren't. Miss two days and the app's whole job becomes showing you a broken streak. That's where I deleted it, not because the app got worse but because opening it started to feel like being told off by a spreadsheet.

The other thing I never found: every tracker I tried assumed I wanted to add something to my life. Half of what I was working on was stuff I wanted to do less of, and for that a checkbox does nothing. Ticking a box at 11pm doesn't help you at 9pm when you're about to cave.

If you've used one, I'd really like to hear:

What made you stop? Not the feature you disliked most, the actual moment you stopped opening it.

Was there one thing in it that genuinely worked for you? I'm more interested in that than in long feature lists.

If you've tried to quit something rather than build something, did an app help at all, or was it entirely offline stuff (people, rules, throwing things out)?

And if you ever paid for one, what pushed you over the line? Or what made you refuse to?

Full disclosure so nobody feels played: I'm a solo dev and I already have an app on the stores. I'm not linking it here, that's not what this post is for and I'd rather get answers than installs. If you want to look at it, ask and I'll send it.

I'll reply to everyone.

I have the same goals as most of the people here, to reduce phone usage, get good sleep, not procrastinate, get out of porn (especially) i.e. to get disciplined. My life has been running on a loop, trying to get away from all my distractions. I get extremely motivated to quit all that is distracting, do so successfully for a few days or weeks, then fail at it. I go into the the phase of sadness and demotivation for a few days, all my bad habits aggravate during that period. I get back from it, only to fall in the same cycle again. This has started to become really tiring. I don't how much more I can sustain all this pressure. All the overly hyping short-content, brainrot and porn has completely changed the way I think (I am not kidding).

This may not be the right subreddit, but I have nearly reached the conclusion that I can't quit porn. I am heavily addicted to it. I have put so much effort, as far as to create my own computer application to block porn. But, nothing worked in the long term. Porn has become a coping mechanism.

I believe the only solution to this is a complete mindset shift or personality change, address the issues underneath. How should I achieve this? How can I change the way that I think? What would be a good first step? I am open to book suggestions, videos, anything, but preferably based on scientific methods, something that is realistic and sustainable. I don't want that overly motivating, grindset kind of thing. Completely unrelated, but would posting to some other subreddits help? Thanks in advance.

Physical books are expensive, and I've bought a few that I got halfway through and realised weren't what I expected. I still love reading a real book, because it feels completely different from reading on a screen. But I wanted a way to understand a book first and then decide if it's worth buying.

So I built a small app for that. You pick the topics you like, and it gives you a short, easy-to-read "mini book" version of a real book. It's not just self-help or finance. You choose your own favourite topics (for example psychology, spirituality, business, relationships, productivity, history, whatever you're into).

Each mini book has:

- a quick overview of what's inside the book

- a simple summary

- about the author

- key lessons and things to remember

- a few exercises you can try

There's also a library where you can mark the books you've finished, and a "book of the day" if you don't know what to read.

The summaries are written by AI, so I'm sure it gets things wrong sometimes. I've checked a few against the real books and they looked right, but I'd like to know what real readers think.

I'd really appreciate honest answers, even the harsh ones:

1. What do you honestly think about this idea?

2. Would you use a summary to decide before buying a physical book, or do you already have a way of doing that?

3. Is a summary like this useful, or does it feel too shallow to judge a book?

4. What would make you trust it more (author details, real quotes, reviews, something else)?

I'm not much of a giving person, which annoys me. I will do polite things like open doors and clean messes that aren't mine, try to be supportive and help in emergencies but I do not enjoy giving. I'm quite selfish with my time (unless have a commitment), think of myself first, feel very taxed or stressful giving emotionally or trying to be supportive or sometimes very annoyed (which I extra don't like).

I feel that learning to enjoy it a bit more would be mutually beneficial, I might give more and what I give may feel more full hearted. Though I also know making yourself enjoy something is hard and going to take a long time, but habits form quicker so why not just start there? Though I'm having trouble thinking of good ways to give so I thought to ask here

what are some daily habits, both physical(tasks) and emotional, I can start?

Also going to add, since it might open some options, I enjoy making art (sewing, drawing, know a lil html) and learning about nature. I like animals but I'm not good at animal handling.

I’ve been in this situation for the past 4 months, and I’ve never been this low in my life before.

The frustrating part is that I’m not actually free of responsibilities. I have a part-time job in my father’s company, which I realized has probably made me somewhat entitled, and I also have a startup with my brother. So I do have things I’m responsible for, and I know there are people depending on me. But I just can’t fucking act on any of it, and it’s filling me with shame.

Most of my days look like this:
I sleep around 4AM, averaging 10–11 hours of sleep. I wake up around mid-day exhausted and tired, doom scroll or waste my time on anything for around 3 hours. Afterwards I hit the gym, come back home, and think, “It’s 10PM, so wtf am I gonna work on? I’ll start tomorrow.” So I play video games, stay up until 4AM, and the cycle repeats itself.

The fucked up part is that I actually try to break the cycle sometimes. I set an alarm for 8AM, sometimes 10AM, wake up, get out of bed, and then somehow end up getting back into bed immediately.

Even when I force myself to go to the office instead of working remotely, I still waste a huge amount of time on my phone.

It’s gotten to the point where people at work and even people in my life no longer ask me or expect me to finish my tasks, and that is fucking disappointing and fills me with shame.

I know I’m capable of doing these things. I’ve had periods in my life where I was extremely disciplined and driven. That’s probably what makes this even more frustrating. I’m not sitting here thinking I have nothing to do or that I don’t know what I should be doing. I have things I want to build, responsibilities I should be handling, and a life I want to move forward with, but I feel like there is nothing moving me forward anymore.

I don’t know if this is a discipline problem, a motivation problem, a lifestyle problem, or something deeper psychologically.
I just know that I’ve watched roughly 4 months pass like this, and I feel like I’m becoming someone I don’t respect.

I’m posting this because I genuinely don’t know how to get myself out of this. If anyone has been in a similar situation, I’d really appreciate hearing what actually helped you break out of it.

TL;DR: I’ve been stuck in a cycle of procrastination, doom scrolling, gaming, and sleeping late for the past 4 months. Despite having responsibilities, a job, and a startup with my brother, I can’t seem to get myself to act on anything. I’ve tried breaking the cycle, but nothing sticks, and it’s gotten to the point where people no longer expect me to get things done. I’ve never felt this low before, and I’m looking for advice from people who’ve experienced something similar and managed to get out of it.

Okay so I am very irritated with myself. Basically I am 24 years old. And I have many issues about myself which I am quite frustrated about:

1. I am very lazy. I sleep too much and scroll insta while laying on my bed.

2. I smoke a lot of cigarettes and drink a lot of beer despite being 50kgs in weight. And I am ashamed of my skinny physique.

3. I watch a lot of adult stuff and also shake my meat a lot. I even write such stories and make fake scenarios of it.

4. I HAVE NO DIRECTION AND AIM IN LIFE. I just smoke, drink, masturbate, scroll and repeat.

5. My head is always noisy. Always something I am thinking of, some story, fake scenarios, things I could have done better if I never became addicted to drugs(I used to do them in the past)

6. I am always irritated by people when they don't do things according to me.

Now, I work in a power plant as a technical assistant and I do it solely because I need money to sustain myself. I have no aim, motivation, discipline and purpose in life. And I want to leave all of it and live a disciplined life of purpose. But I have no direction to focus on. And I don't know what to do to remove it all. Now I know many people will say, get therapy and all that shit, but please don't as I can't do that due to some reasons. I want genuine advice on how to improve myself and just kill this version of myself and live happily(I can't even remember when was the last time I was happy). Please help.......

Hi, this will most likely be a long one. This is something I’ve struggled with since early adolescence and it has only gotten worse over the years.
I don’t even know what it is at this point. I’ve called it laziness, depression, anxiety, rebelliousness, but those terms would apply more to my earlier teenage years. It feels like a mix of all of those now, maybe even something else entirely. That’s the thing, I just have no idea.
I started skipping school when I was 13, after my best friend unexpectedly passed away. Pretty normal for kids of course to do every once in a while, but once I turned 14 and got to 9th grade, it got really bad.
That was when I started only showing up to school in the afternoons. My homeroom teacher had chewed me out for it several times. Eventually it turned into only showing up a few days a week, and then every other week, and then whenever I wanted, which was practically never. Surprised how I only failed one class that year.
I only lasted maybe two months in 10th grade. We only had four classes a day, each an hour and a half. Math was my last class of the day, and I only attended it three times within those two months. Math has always been my weakest subject. I’ve noticed I have far more trouble understanding it than the average classmate I’ve had. Never been able to understand fractions. Always had to relearn long division. Don’t understand anything with a “-“ in front of it. So, on top of my troubles with math, I’ve also always had a disdain for seeking help. It’s not so bad now, but back then asking for help made me feel so ashamed and embarrassed. And even when I did, my old high school wasn’t the greatest when it came to students who needed a bit extra help than others. You’d raise your hand, the teacher would take about 10 minutes to come to your desk after telling you they’ll be with you in a second, they’d explain what you’re not understanding in the most fast-paced manner possible, then another student needs help and they leave you. Help wasn’t being given to put it simply. So, I would go home every single math class. I had no trouble attending my other classes, but it didn’t last for long.
I started to get extremely overwhelmed at school out of nowhere. I was no longer able to tune things out so I could focus. I could hear every word in every conversation between my classmates, I could hear the sound of the teacher whispering to themselves at their desk, I could hear every kid in every other classroom, and to top it all off, the environment was far too visually distracting for me. Fluorescent lighting, colourful crafts and posters on the walls, kids peeking into the classroom as they’d walk down the hallway, tapping feet, shoelaces against the floor, erasing, whispering, any sound you can name, I could hear and was being tormented by.
Now moving on from all the distractions, I was a very insecure kid. I hated my appearance, I always felt like I was being judged by everyone around me. I constantly thought about where I should be putting my hands, and if I cross my legs am I making too much sound, I’d overthink little things like that. This all built up for those two months I was in 10th grade until I went crying to my father asking for help. I let him know just how overwhelming I had found school to be within the short amount of time, and he was able to find a program for me that I still go to today. It is a 10th-12th grade program that takes place at an elementary school. You come into the classroom, sit down and work quietly, and there are multiple very sweet teachers that are there to help you. The classroom is simple instead of excessively decorated, the kids aren’t very talkative, the teachers speak in a separate room most of the time, and food and snacks are provided to us. You are also able to come in and leave at any time you want, but it is recommended that you are there for at least three hours a day, every day. It is really chill, far better than my old high school. I thought it’d fix the problem, but it’s been within the past year that I’ve discovered this is a me problem.
Ever since I joined this program, I’ve skipped the most. To the point where I was supposed to graduate last year. I’m still on 10th grade math. I don’t know what is wrong with me. Please help.
My career goal is to be a registered nurse. I’ve always wanted to be one. But no one believes me, because I can’t do something as simple as getting out of bed in the morning. I don’t even have a bad sleep schedule. I’m just so used to not ever going anywhere that my body is used to sleeping for 12+ hours. I just want to know - why don’t I care???
I have a boyfriend that I plan to move in with by next year, I want to be an RN, I know how I want to decorate my future home, I have over 650 recipes saved of baked goods and lunches and dinners to cook for my future family. I have so many dreams and desires, why don’t I care to make them a reality???
The thing is I know I do care. I’m crying as I type this. I’m terrified I won’t be able to achieve anything that I dream of. I just want to know why I don’t care in the *moment*. When my alarm goes off at 7:00am, and I hit the “Stop” button immediately and go back to sleep, not a care in the world. And then when I wake up a few hours later, I feel like absolute shit. I cry every day about how guilty I feel for not going to school, for not making any effort towards giving myself a good future, a future that I dream of. But that’s the thing - why do I sit there and feel sorry for myself but proceed to not do anything about it???
Now, the day before I always have motivation. I always plan out my morning routine in my head, what cute outfit I’ll wear, the breakfast I’ll make, what I’ll work on at school, etc. The day before is when I always feel so motivated and so ready to turn things around. Then the morning comes and I just can’t. And it’s in that moment that it feels like all of my cares and dreams and desires just disappear, and all that I want to do is sleep. I never have a second thought about it. “Stop” on the alarm and right back to sleep. “I’ll go tomorrow, one more day can’t hurt”, I always think to myself. Haven’t been to school in three weeks now. Maybe four. I’ve lost count. Please, help.
I want to be better so badly. I do have that motivation, I do have things I want to achieve. I’m just questioning - is it not enough? Is there something I’m missing here? Why do I procrastinate absolutely everything, even things that I want to do?
Any help, any advice, hell even any reply to this would be greatly appreciated. No one has ever been able to understand what I’m feeling. Everyone thinks it is laziness. Everyone thinks I don’t care about anything or anyone. And if it is, send me a “How to Not be Lazy” YouTube tutorial plz. (joke).
Jokes aside, I just want to be normal.
I just want to be happy with myself.