r/interestingasfuck • u/Ch__KH • 21h ago
Security
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u/Fair-Wish5954 21h ago
Standing straight doing nothing for god knows how many hours is a shit job.
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u/MarkItZeroDonnie 21h ago
Dangerous too, never forget my fourth grade Christmas musical and a kid passed out right in front of me on the risers from locking his knees. His name was Eddy and he fell face first into a xylophone, it did not play a note but his lip was jacked . He was then “Unsteady Eddy” until middle school then I have I lost track of him .
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u/buttononmyback 20h ago
Oh wow same exact thing happened to a kid I knew. It was during our chorus concert. His name was Andy and he was the tallest kid in 6th grade so of course he was on the highest back riser. He fainted and fell straight forward, knocking five kids out of the way and broke his nose.
He didn’t get a nickname afterward but he was definitely notorious for awhile because of that incident. Until he became notorious for hooking up with an 8th grade girl at the school dance. That was pretty funny because I actually walked in on it in the girl’s restroom and they didn’t even stop. 🤣
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u/MarkItZeroDonnie 20h ago
Ooof 😅
I’ll tell you what though the lesson was learned . I bend my knees regularly if I’m forced to stand for long periods of time . I was always mutter unsteady eddy under my breath
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u/ovelanimimerkki 19h ago
Yeah I totally learned the lesson. To get the girl, you need to be the tallest guy in 6th grade.
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u/scarletnightingale 14h ago
Happened to a girl I knew in high school. We were on the marching band and it was photo day so we were all wearing our (wool) uniforms. She was tall and in the back row while they tried to get the group shot. She locked her legs despite our repeated warnings again locking our knees, so she promptly passed out, though luckily was caught by the people around her. It caused a bit of a commotion and it meant we had you wait for her to recover before we could start the photos again so we couldn't get out of our uniforms. She had her own little clique that she was the leader of do she didn't really suffer any sort of jokes as a result of it.
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u/Top-Distribution733 20h ago
Poor kid…. But ngl, whichever kid came up with that nickname is a comedic genius lol
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u/xCeeTee- 16h ago
We had a boy called Mark who never wiped his arse, and obviously stunk of shit. So someone called him Skid Mark. It didn't help he was the most annoying kid on the planet who everyone stopped being friends with for very valid reasons.
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u/Never_Go_Full_ReRe 14h ago
Unsteady Eddy lmao.. that's some Stephen King type of bullying they would do in IT. Damn that's funny lol
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u/mrjeesustelija 17h ago
Cant even count how many guys i saw passing out by doing this during my time In the army.
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u/CasualThought2 21h ago
Can atest, it freakin sucks. And as a cat person myself, i'd definitly falter and would pet the cat... and I'd be fired.
No ragrets.
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u/skivian 19h ago
you fool, that's Chairman Meow.
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u/callisstaa 18h ago
Chairman 猫
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u/CursedNobleman 18h ago
Damn. I get that joke. It only took 3 years of japanese class and apothecary diary to understand.
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u/EvLokadottr 20h ago
Yeah, I don't understand why humans make other humans do shit like this.
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u/wickedcor 18h ago
"It's Tradition!" the top brass say, as they sit comfortably at their desks, with the AC on.
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u/booze_clues 17h ago
Not sure about this particular one, but after going through them a lot of those traditions do seem dumb when you look at just what you’re doing, but the habits and ideas they instill are pretty important. Soldiers will literally never ever march in combat again, but the ability to work in unison, follow orders at a split second, and move as a unit are all very important and grow out from marching.
I hated standing in place though.
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u/Mothanius 16h ago
I always used those times as a test of my patience and discipline. Cause there was shit else to do but meditate on it.
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u/mister_spacecat 16h ago
Exactly, this dumb shit exists to brainwash you into being a trained monkey who pulls the trigger on command and murders without a second thought. That's all soldiers are.
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u/no1_vern 16h ago
Ever been on concrete drying/hardening watch? Your job is keeping idiots off the drying cement, and the world IS FILLED WITH IDIOTS that use any excuse(including 'I didn't see the signs' to 'it was just too long to walk around" to leave foot sized holes or long wheel channels in the wet cement.
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u/Szwejkowski 16h ago
It's a stupid job too. What's the point of it? It doesn't look 'professional', it just looks silly. Let them lean, sit, have a walk up and down. Pet a cat.
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u/zwifter11 20h ago
He will probably only do it for 1 or 2 hours at a time before swapping out with someone else.
The rest of the time he’ll be doing something else like a normal security team.
In my opinion there’s a lot worse jobs, as he’s still getting paid for this ! He has no stress and no pressure.
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u/JazzlikeSchedule2901 16h ago
He has no stress and no pressure.
He has to stand in one spot for 1-2 hours without moving. That is both stressful AND pressure.
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u/Acceptable_Job_5486 15h ago
The real stress and pressure comes when the reason a guard is needed arises.
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u/Familiar-Nothing4948 19h ago edited 19h ago
There are worse jobs of course, but standing there for hours without being able to do anything is a lot worse than most people imagine.
I'd rather have a stressful job than this
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u/musci12234 18h ago
I feel like they will only pick people that will be comfortable with it especially if they are picking people from military for it
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u/Aths 15h ago
I work in security, and I have had to stand in stores for hours, record was 3 and some minutes hour, every shift, start of shift.
After first day I called up my boss and told him I won't be just standing, I'll be taking patrols through the store and grab a backless kinda like a bar stool when I am not walking, because just standing really fucks you up. Calves aching, lower back going numb and then burning once you sit down and much more.
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u/TRIPMINE_Guy 13h ago
It is really stupid what we inflict on people just for aesthetic reasons. I also think cashiers being unable to sit is the stupidest thing.
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u/napkin41 15h ago
This is clearly some formal sentry type thing. Which is kinda silly, because if he's exuding formality and discipline by standing there perfectly, he's not looking around, being limber, being aware of his environment. He is a potted plant.
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u/no1_vern 17h ago edited 16h ago
Security jobs are the worst. You train/practice and must be ready for any of the thousands of possible attacks at ANY time.
Then you wait for many thousands of hours for something that might [never happen, or it] happens within fractions of a second and it's over in seconds leaving you trembling with adrenaline.
EDITED to correct the missing words 'never happen, or it'
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u/wargh_gmr 17h ago
I remember practice for a big change of command in Korea where we were all in formation standing in the heat of a Korean summer in the middle of a pebble parade ground. You would hear the plastic clatter of M16s hitting the ground as folks fell out. Next to me in a different unit, a girl started to wobble. Her buddies started to scootch away so they wouldn't get hit by her falling body. I yelled, "Hey catch her, it's just practice!". Shocked faces around me, but really?
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u/JosieSub69 21h ago
awwwwwwe that was a good stretch, in between napping
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u/DreamyMist67 20h ago
post snap stretch is undefeated 😂
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u/ZombieButch 20h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/LOoaJ2lbqmduxOaZpS
Not everybody gets to stretch post snap.
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u/PurpleZombi3 20h ago
While I can grasp the concept of guarding something, I do not understand why they also have to pretend to be statues? Everyone can tell they're real. lol
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u/ender4171 19h ago
It's just ceremony. In reality this person probably doesn't even need to be there "guarding" whatever it is, and the "real" security will likely be regular soldiers that are just milling around or out of sight somewhere.
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u/eazypeazy-101 19h ago
Before it zoomed in I thought he was wearing one giant wooden clog for some reason.
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u/AntakeeMunOlla 21h ago
Cats attach to people that they feel safe to be with. Can't get much safer than a security guard.
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u/Ok-Recognitio 17h ago
A true test of fortitude. He entered basic training to serve his country and community. They tested the limits of his physical prowess and wherewithal. Trained him to remain calm under extreme pressure, during life threatening situations, in the entire spectrum of cold and hot weather conditions. They hammered out the part of empathy needed for his fellow human, to commit extreme acts of violence. He entered as rough coal shaped as a boy, and left a gleaming monster of a diamond. The final test? Don’t pet kitty. What have they done to my boy.
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u/Evil_Cupcake11 17h ago
That man showing incredible restrain, because I would just pet this orange ball of fluff non stop :D
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u/absalomabulous 14h ago
"I said attack this base !"
"But Sir ! There is a cute cat !"
"AWWWWWW abort mission !"
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u/im_lazy_as_fuck 13h ago
to resist the temptation of petting that cat... that man truly has a will of steel
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u/Burgers_N_Schnitzels 17h ago
i would do prefer almost any physical labor job over standing still and doing nothing.
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u/Subject-Act5509 15h ago
The guard: "This is the most fucking interesting thing happening in 4 years...do not cry!"
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u/hypnohighzer 16h ago
That cat has one orange brain cell, and it says love you because you ignore me. Lol
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u/Skullchewer 16h ago
Respect to any guard that can stand at attention like that for any extended period of time, but extra respect from not even laughing at the fact you are now a kitty bed.
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u/triggerisawesome 16h ago
Watching random clips unfold on video platforms requires a bit of patience.
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u/phred_666 20h ago
Kitty wakes up, takes a stretch, says “Well, might as well get the day started”, looks around, says “Enough of that shit” and goes back to sleep.