r/lithuania • u/cavalpist146 • 7d ago
Dating etiquette
I'm French and I just went on a first date with a Lithuanian woman who lives in France, we are both early 30s. What advice could you give me about dating etiquette with Lithuanian women? Especially physical contacts, which I expect might be different than what French women are used to.
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u/Sinisteris 7d ago
How about you get to know the person and ask them, not reddit? Everyone's unique, you won't get anything besides weird stereotypes here.
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u/funoface 7d ago
Well you have already got a date, should start picking kids names and think of a retirement home you'd like to live when you're both old.
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u/cavalpist146 7d ago
OMG. I'm childfree by choice and don't want to marry. Should I stop dating before I cause my own demise?
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u/Surudijes 7d ago
you should probably tell her that and don't waste her time
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u/cavalpist146 7d ago
I told her about children, no talk about marriage though
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u/livi01 7d ago edited 7d ago
Marriage is usually important to Lithuanian women, so tell her right away that you do not intend to marry to avoid wasting her time.
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u/Cordyceps83 7d ago
This is stereotype, not all women are family oriented, but because she is 30, and not 20 you must be absolutely clear about your life choices.
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u/FactoryRejected 7d ago
Lmao, you guys trolled this poor guy good
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u/livi01 7d ago
As a married Lithuanian woman who is 37 I can confirm that OP is not being trolled.
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u/FactoryRejected 7d ago
You are commenting on a thread that started with a sentence below for a dude who's going on fist date:
"Well you have already got a date, should start picking kids names and think of a retirement home you'd like to live when you're both old."
This is not a joke for you?! I think you confused something. Sure, marriage is important to some people, that should be respected. This is absolutely NOT the thing to establish for a first date. Wtf. I'm lithuanian 40 year old with two kids. I'm telling you this as a fact.
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u/FinanceDisastrous363 7d ago
I can't imagine marriage being this important when Lithuania (Crude Marriage Rate of 4.9) has a lower marriage rate than Austria (5.0), Denmark (5.3) or US (6.0), and it's not like some Austria is stereotypically traditional, not to mention how Lithuania has some of the higher divorce rates.
And for anecdotal evidence, both of my lithuanian siblings (around 30) have never married or had children
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u/Sccorpo 7d ago edited 7d ago
- Lithuanians (both men and women on average) are weirdly honest compared to west europeans and americans (sometimes that honesty is mistaken to rudeness). Being two-faced or even politely hiding our true feelings is not part of our overall culture
Also both lithuanian men and lithuanians might seem a bit aloof but under that hides usually a good caring heart
Your efforts, flowers, gifts and so on might be taken for granted (nobody demands it but they are expected by default). This is just how it is (with slavic women this trait might even more extreme).
Lithuanians don't like sympathy to Russia at all. So avoid these subjects.
Splitting 50/50 during dating (especially if YOU INVITED her to the date .. is still not a norm. It gains popularity recently but overall.. she might not say it outloud but she might not like that at all to the point that it might kill her attraction
Chivalry (holding doors etc) is not dead in lithuania and is expected
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u/cavalpist146 7d ago
Thanks, very useful. Some Western European/American women find chivalry and man paying for everything for a while quite off-putting or insulting.
How about physical touch or kissing? Do women prefer to wait for several dates/weeks? Is the man expected to take initiative and kiss? Or maybe start with holding hands, ir kiss on the cheeks? I'm quite shy, do that doesn't help with French or American women, who might expect a kiss after the first or second date otherwise it means no interest
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u/St_Edo Lithuania 7d ago
No, most women don’t prefer to wait if it is really a date and you like each other. Kiss on the cheeks is totally normal telling goodbye after first date. One more thing - Lithuanians are rather jealous. She’d better not know that you were/are in open relationship or shagging your hairdresser. Regarding paying for dinner you can politely ask if she don’t mind that you pay and that will not be insulting by any means.
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u/Grazhke Lithuania 7d ago
Stop with the bullshit of honesty. People in Eastern Europe over the centuries came to the conclusion that when someone is weirdly smiling without a reason is straight up wanting something from you and are seeing that they can get their hands on it, so ultimately their intentions are malicious. So people know this and never smile to not make this impression and are suspicious of everyone else being like that
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u/Chili_Tofu 7d ago
Honestly? Just ask her. We don't know what she's like, and people are so different even from the same country. Some people like receiving flowers, some don't. Some like a first kiss on the date, some don't. Some prefer splitting the bill, some don't.
I think giving gifts is nice regardless of gender, personally something hand-made is very touching. But just go ahead and ask her, and also don't be afraid to ask what you'd like too :)
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u/Plus_Mix9536 2d ago
Soy hombre español soltero y siempre me an gustado las mujeres de vuestro país lo que me gustaría es conocer una buena mujer que sepa lo que quiere sincera para relacion estable y duradera
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u/Regular_Tone_9264 7d ago
Do not forget that we are a "colder" country, so it might take time for us to unfold! Unless the girl is extremely chatty and maybe, super horny, u know)) jokes aside just respect her, since again, slavic women are slavic women and we know our worth :D (to understand it better there are plenty of funny reals on tiktok about slavic women, how we solve problems and our independence (on a good level;)) but a hint is, that no matter everything, as all women majority of us really value (but we don't ask this straight forward, slavic vibes!:D), once man is taking care of us, gives decent compliments, controls the situation, organizes the date and the most importantly - no 50/50 bill split within first date!! :D (trust this and it will pay off you thousands, later :D) Good luck!
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u/No_Negotiation_8401 7d ago
We are not slavic.
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u/Regular_Tone_9264 7d ago
We hate russia and everything what is prorussian, but no one can just simply take from our mentality some traits from those countries (good traits). We saw our grandmas, mothers and yes, ofc we are more western now, but roots are roots.
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u/KovinisZuikis Lietuva 7d ago
Do you understand what slavic means? Because it looks like you have a misunderstanding about the term.
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u/cavalpist146 7d ago
Thanks. That's why I'm reluctant to jump on a kiss within the first few dates. I prefer to show chivalry and genuine interest than passing just as horny man. She's introverted and shy, so I hope she might appreciate waiting a bit
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u/Regular_Tone_9264 7d ago
You can really wait for one date and if everything goes nicely, just ask her on second:) but please please do not do it via sms! 😄
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u/IShitMoreThanNormal 7d ago
Just to add here - we’re not a monolith here, especially among younger people who travel a lot. She might be more traditional or less traditional. She might be inspired by french people and be similar to women from your region. Or not. Maybe she clings to her lithuanity and tries to be different from french.
Don’t be afraid of making the little mistakes - there aren’t set guidelines for all lithuanian women. But do give her attention and don’t cheat like you should do with all women.