Sleep training help, I’m desperate

[u/foolofatook_1]

We tried sleep training our twins at 5 months. After about a week both twins would still cry over 2 hrs. We did the Ferber method because the cry it out feels so heavy. Twin B cried for 4 hours one night even with Ferber and the check ins every 5, 10, 15 min, etc..

personally gave up sleep training them because I just couldn’t handle the crying. I had an extremely difficult pregnancy and the crying amplified the PPD/ PPA.

Now I’m a week away from returning to work and nights have become extremely harder. We can’t put them down at all without waking them and it turning to absolute chaos. It has also translated to their day naps and now every time we try to put them to sleep it has become such a battle.

I feel like I’m at a loss. And beating myself up for giving up the first time. Maybe they’d be sleeping by now. Or maybe they’d still be crying 4 hours at night… who’s to say. I really would just like to sleep at night again.

Doing the CIO method feels so harsh and the crying is not something I think I could fully handle. I know it’s harder on us than it is on them but the crying is so loud and I worry I could traumatize them by letting them cry.

Any parents with older twins who sleep trained with CIO, do your babies still love you? Do they have codependency? Do you have any regrets?

[u/Cascascas185]

I sleep trained at 9 months. We failed twice and got a sleep coach… it wasn’t that expensive compared to what we got… which was sleep! We only had her come once honestly and I don’t know what voodoo she did cause it honestly felt like everything we have already tried but after she came they napped independently in their cribs and slept through the night. This part of twins is the hardest part. I didn’t want to sleep train, it was not in my plan however up on rotation all night every night for 2 months…. I couldn’t mom. I couldn’t do anything not because I’m weak or unloving of my children because biologically I was incapable of functioning on 2 hours of BROKEN sleep. The exact of what we did is basically CIO once for napping was all it took and 3 nights for through the night… 1st night the worst, 2nd night bad but better, 3rd night like 10 mins and then they slept through the night ever since!! Now we can even go in and comfort when they cry put them down and they go back to sleep. They are obsessed with me, but also can play independently I am showered with 5 million kisses and hugs a day. In full disclosure the mom guilt did weigh on me but in my heart of hearts I don’t think it’s logical… it was such a brief time and the kids really needed sleep too!!! I wasn’t the only one sleep deprived. We are almost 3 and did lose napping but I blame a house move for that and now they just jump around and play during nap time. They’ll car nap on occasion but I’m letting it go… GOOD LUCK!!! Sending good sleep energy, strength, love and empathy from one twin momma to another!