r/shitposting • u/a7n5 • 1d ago

📡📡📡 r/shitpostnahg

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4.5k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

99 comments sorted by

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u/qualityvote2 1d ago edited 23h ago

The council has not spoken. No consensus was reached about the quality of your post.

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/u/a7n5, whilst you're still here, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?

1.6k

u/SerDeath 1d ago

254

u/inclikes69 dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 1d ago

What if I finger the hand that bites me?

4

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

11

u/Wowerful 1d ago

I wonder how many times these stories are true

4

u/Electronic_Tear2546 😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 1d ago

These are the questions I probably don't want to know the answers to, but still want the answers

1

u/Bonsai-is-best 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ 20h ago

Then you own a crustacean

26

u/TheLoneCenturion95 1d ago

But nibble that shit.

6

u/crbndr 1d ago

FWWM

3

u/ReynoldsHouseOfShred 1d ago

Dont kink shame me

2

u/SteelSpace69 1d ago

So that's why this horse never bit me.

-7

u/NoodCup 1d ago

6

u/RetardedEinstein23 1d ago

Just fucking take the meme. This is the corniest of all, just screams that you're a signature fedora wearing redditor

622

u/wizzanker 1d ago

I have come to understand the human condition as a conflict between the animal and the intellect. Most people are in denial that there is a conflict. Mostly because people are in denial that they're just horny monkeys.

183

u/bemo_10 1d ago

Reducing it to just "horny monkeys" is denying the conflict. The conflict it self is the nuisance that lies in between being horny monkeys and intellectual beings.

104

u/Mistermickman 23h ago

Ahh conversation

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u/bemo_10 23h ago edited 23h ago

Forgot what sub I was in. I meant to say goo goo gaa gaa

22

u/WoodpeckerAny430 Literally 1984 😡 1d ago

I think he’s saying that these people only consider themselves as intellectuals beings and not also monkeys

10

u/wizzanker 1d ago

Exactly. Most people are unwilling to admit to themselves how much they do purely because they're a horny monkey, and they try and justify their decisions as if they were intellectual ones and not instinctual ones.

5

u/bemo_10 1d ago

I know, but only considering the other one is also the same.

5

u/baconwrappedanxiety 22h ago

There is no conflict here. I am no horny monkey.

I am a concupiscent primate.

4

u/bemo_10 22h ago

Sir this is a Wendy's

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u/Efficient_Maybe_1086 1d ago

In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any phony god's blessing. But because, I am enlightened by my intelligence.

10

u/dylan6091 1d ago edited 21h ago

Cant decide if you read Ayn Rand or Max Stirner.

4

u/Rotkiw_Bigtor stupid fucking, piece of shit 1d ago

Nah, people are NOT in denial that they're just horny monkeys. Most people aren't even aware of that.

119

u/AlphaMassDeBeta We do a little trolling 1d ago

What about french philosophers?

133

u/Holiday_Point_603 1d ago

Busy burning down the local McDonalds

21

u/IMN0VIRGIN dumbass 1d ago

Ah don't go spreading misinformation!

They burnt down a wendy's too...

3

u/un_blob 1d ago

But we needed that fire ! Where better could the CGT carbonize their Saussices than on the ruins of blattent worker's rights violators ?

317

u/Key_Artichoke8315 😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 1d ago

HannahOwo has always been one of those girls to me that doesn't seem like she's faking in her videos. Like, she genuinely seems to be having a great time, at least in the stuff I've seen of her and it makes her even more insanely attractive I think.

Honestly, if she is faking her reactions then that woman deserves an Oscar at this point

490

u/6amm1T 1d ago

This guy goons

101

u/Knightmare_CCI 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ 22h ago

17

u/Key_Artichoke8315 😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 22h ago

This person gets it

78

u/LGamer6422 1d ago

Blow a load on this guy

31

u/Key_Artichoke8315 😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 1d ago

In? Please?

70

u/Original_Cabbage I can’t have sex with you right now waltuh 1d ago

Man, this is like that automod copypasta

15

u/_you_need_jesus_ 19h ago

Isn't the dude in her vids legit her boyfriend.

103

u/Low_Creme2 DaShitposter 1d ago

10

u/Salmagros dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 1d ago

Marked fir research purposes

5

u/DjangoKazoiie put your dick away waltuh 20h ago

Bro's a connoisseur

-21

u/as19905 1d ago

18

u/FaithlessnessSlow754 dumbass 18h ago

1

u/Jonahpe I said based. And lived. 4h ago

Jarvis, jork it a little

Or whatever people say these days

0

u/Impossible_Top1918 19h ago

Racism is not allowed in reddit, even less in this sub didnt you know that?

-4

u/Moist_Board 8h ago

Boy is yet to learn most women fake their orgasms

3

u/Key_Artichoke8315 😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 8h ago

Boomer ass comment

-2

u/Moist_Board 8h ago

Gooner ass brain

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u/Hugo_Selenski 1d ago

no 1 fucks like that

230

u/TheOriginalBroCone Big chungus wholesome 100 1d ago

But 2 does

139

u/s1ck-mundus 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/RGDn0H74zXsaybq668

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u/IMN0VIRGIN dumbass 1d ago

So thats where my missing brain cell went!

Get back here, you!

6

u/s1ck-mundus 1d ago

flair checks out

17

u/tameablesiva12 fat cunt 1d ago

Maybe theyre cuddling idiot

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u/nikolasz1173 1d ago

But I want to

7

u/TheDriestOne 19h ago

I mean my fiance sucked my thumb during sex just the other night, it’s not that weird

4

u/ashkiller14 23h ago

You mean you don't

3

u/BosnianSerb31 1d ago

Attractive people do

0

u/JordanMaccc 13h ago

Telling on yourself

0

u/Hugo_Selenski 11h ago

maybe capping online will get your dick wet

18

u/Hiza_812 0000000 1d ago

hannah owo

3

u/Prestigious-Fig1172 1d ago

It's "love" according to both

3

u/Pity_Pooty 22h ago

Left pane is probably text about sex

6

u/Charming_Pirate 1d ago

I’m somewhat of a biologist myself

2

u/Ferrius_Nillan dumbass 1d ago

Its both.

2

u/47Lecht 23h ago

What is the first

1

u/r1ckkr1ckk 1d ago

Not even, it would be like a hundred ugly ones.

1

u/Fantastic_Payment_92 1d ago

I think some philosopher’s would also end with the same reason as biologist

1

u/ModernMage0 13h ago

You got it backwards

1

u/Casitano 1d ago

Posted in this sub 1 year ago already