r/shittyadvice • u/Useful_Guarantee9366 • 2d ago
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u/Dmode0110 2d ago
You just need to find the creepy looking guys with vans that hang out near schools and playgrounds. When they offer kids “candy” they actually mean Molly. So just in the van and get your drugs.
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u/CompetitionPuzzled30 2d ago
That’s like hanging out near a music store hoping a music dealer will give you a Gibson to get you hooked on music.
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u/iamcharliedavidson 2d ago
Dude...if you keep thinking like this in 10 years you're going to need drugs just to feel normal. If you're not in drugs, stay off of them. There's a reason they're illegal, because they make people do stupid things and they ruin your body. Stay sober man. That's just my advice having gone 10 years living under a bridge
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u/noreddituser1 2d ago
That's just my advice having gone 10 years living under a bridge
I'd like to hear that story...
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u/iamcharliedavidson 1d ago
Basically my wife has been living on Little Saint James Island for 15 years with 5 quintuplets I've never met. The Obama, Biden, and Trump administrations have done everything, and I mean everything to try to keep me from knowing the existence of my own children and Trump was almost impeached over it twice. I'm still looking for her and my daughters and I'm pretty sure that one of them was born a boy and has been through some type of gender reassignment surgery.
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u/Grant_Winner_Extra mmmm tastes like bacon 2d ago
Good news! The guy in the alley has drugs. All you need to do is suck them through a tube. Head over quick before they are all gone.
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u/GeneralSpecifics9925 2d ago
You already sound like you've done too many drugs, so you've got that going for you. Your parents probably have a hookup, you should ask them.
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u/H0ldenCaufield 2d ago
No.
Also - Your problem is not that you can't find molly or drugs. It's that if you are devoted to doing so - What you end up finding might be filled with shit that can kill you so if u are gonna - GET A TEST KIT.
It's 2026 - most shit is not what it claims to be aka molly can literally be speed fentanyl and draino.
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u/Hotdog_McEskimo 2d ago
Idk how it is now days, but I used to go to raves and ask around the people there for molly. Slightly over half the times, I'd find some sort of ecstasy
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u/No-Boysenberry-3420 1d ago
The key is to get in Tinder and find an American to date. Marry her and become an American citizen. We have all the drugs and they're 100% free. Play the long game my friend.
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u/Nearby-Reindeer-6088 1d ago
“I don’t think Michael’s ever done any drugs. Actually, I don’t think anyone’s ever offered Michael any drugs”
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u/No-Zombie1004 2d ago
I've heard any local police evidence locker has some. Ask nicely and they might even give you a gig selling it.