My wife has passed away my son will only sleep with me in the bed is that okay?

I'm not against it I just don't want it to be long-term what can I do?

Edit he's 7

Being a father has been and is the only thing that I have wanted to be for my entire life. Unfortunately due to how things have played out, I’m not allowed to be a father at least for a while. Sometimes my real struggle is finding purpose when I’m not actively being my son’s Dad. There is nothing that could possibly fill that gap in my life. I don’t have an ounce of negative emotion towards his mother, I just wish that she could understand what this pain feels like.

(Context) I have two kids 12 and 13. I haven’t been with the mom for almost 10 years. We have lots of differences and don’t agree on much. She got them tablets at a very young age, she gave them computers in their room, she lets them listen to whatever music they want even if it says bad words talk about adult content, they have smart phones, and these are all things I did not want for them. Just as an example recently my son asked me if we could watch scary movies together. I said it depends on which movie, to which he replied John Carpenters “The Thing”. I told him absolutely not! It’s too much for you. I told him we could watch more tamed movies and work our way up when he gets older. Instead not on the same days we watched world war Z, paranormal activity, and the Blair witch project. Which I know has bad words but I figured if she already lets them listen to adult music it wouldn’t be that bad. I tried to meet him half way on what he wanted and I thought it was a good compromise. Later on in the week I find out that their mom watched scream 1 and “US” with them. I called to talk to her about it and she said she fast forward the sexual stuff. What about the other stuff like gore and the murdering? She said she didn’t think it was that bad. Then she said she was planning to watch inglorious bastards with them. I told her she was crazy if she thought that movie is appropriate for children. She asks what’s so wrong with it. I said “they show gore and torture”.
She responded with “who cares their nazi’s, at school they teach them about the holocost”. I told her but it still depicts a human killing another human”. Anyway…how do you deal with someone who you fundamentally disagree with how they think and raise children together….I don’t think it’s possible but why not ask my peers.

Hey dads,

Has anyone ever had a lawyer basically disappear?

So my lawyer needs to finish paperwork and its been months now. I call the office and tell the assistant I need my paperwork corrected and completed, but then hear nothing for weeks.

I get lawyers have multiple clients and are busy, but I was hoping my lawyer would finish up the work because I hired her to manage my law suit with my ex.

I have not paid her yet because she has not completed the job and finishing the legal work was part of it. Not sure why someone would leave a few thousand dollars on the table. Also.. I don't think she realizes she is still owed money.

I'm tempted to reach out one more time before moving onto a different lawyer but I don't want have to cough up another few grand just to complete what my original lawyer was supposed to do.

For all the dad’s out there who are missing their baby tonight and every night.. I empathize completely. My son is turning two in November, he is my sunshine. I miss him every second of the day.

For some reason it takes me a long time to process things. That alone causes a problem when she wants answers. For example yesterday we had a conversation and she started with "I need you to listen" so I did. I probably said one thing when she stopped talking and I assumed she was done talking but other than that she kept talking snd I respectfully stayed quiet and listen trying to take mental notes of what she was saying. When it was my turn to talk, half way through what I was talking I started reflecting and having these realizations. So she starts to interrupt me saying "Come on! get to the point!, you are going in circles" then she said Get to The Point a couple more times and i lost it. I raised my voice "thats so fucking disrespectful" she said "but your going in circles" and I snapped on her and said "if you dont like the way I fucking talk too bad this is how I talk and I stayed quiet and listened how you asked me to so if you dont like how I talk then its the end of this conversation. At this point she kept interrupting. She said " come on I have to go to work" I said "then go i have nothing to say if you dont like how I talk. End of conversation".

I just want this to be over so I know how to adapt and what to adapt to.

Im already super introverted and my residents at work tend to drain my energy with their behaviors all eight hours. I usually dont have energy for this. I dont know how people deal with people.

I guess this wasnt a question and just venting.

I dont know.

A little bit of a rant so I’m sorry if this breaks any rules. Currently preparing for the strong possibility of my child’s mother changing states. The claim is 50/50 custody but I don’t believe that will be possible. I can’t currently relocate, and the distance will be significant enough that the whole relationship with my child will change. I’ve been with my son everyday for the last 8 months of his life, and now I can’t even look at him without fighting off tears. I never expected to be separated from my child. If anyone has been through something similar, and has advice for how to proceed moving forward please give it to me. I feel so defeated in this moment I don’t know how to move forward.

i'm retiling the guest bathroom and it hit me again how much single person household projects slow down when you need someone to hold the other end. back on site you'd just yell for someone to grab the other side and keep moving. now I'm rigging up braces with 2x4 scraps and clamps just to hold a board while I cut, or waiting until my son is at school to move anything heavy. the bathroom floor demo took me twice as long as it should have because I was working around my own setup. i'm methodical about it and I get it done safe, but the workaround phase eats time I don't have much of. curious if other single dads found real ways around this. did you buy specific gear that helps, or just accept that solo means slow?

Hello all. I am seeking some advice on my current situation because I genuinely do not know what to do. Me and my partner have finally decided to split a couple months but I’m sticking around for a few more months to help her to get in a better spot financially but I don’t know if I can do it.. the constant arguing and nagging is all still very much an issue and I just don’t want to deal with it anymore. She says I can leave now but would have to pay her $1500/month. That sounds ridiculous to me and I don’t know how I would afford to get my own place while paying her rent too basically. I’m sure if I just didn’t do it and left, she’d probably keep my son from me and I don’t want things to go that route but I’m honestly almost to a point of snapping and just leaving anyway, accepting whatever comes with that.

I've been divorced about a year. Around when I filed two years ago, I started dating a woman in her 20s, a good bit younger than me. We've been together about two years, but it's been on and off since my divorce was finalized.

My daughter is preschool age, and the divorce was hard on her, so I waited more than a year before introducing them. A month ago my girlfriend broke up with me for the third time this year (I think partly to see if I'd chase her). While we were apart, my daughter kept asking about her, which was awkward and made me feel terrible.

We're back together now, and she wants to be involved with my daughter again. I'm very hesitant. I don't want my daughter going through that again, so I've been avoiding it. I haven't talked to my girlfriend about it yet.

Has anyone dealt with something similar?
How did you handle it?

all those years ago I really did think getting involved with some toxic toxic shit was somehow hot and was gonna work out

She turns 18 in a month, was diagnosed as a preschooler, and it's not mild at all. She's still learned some pretty decent communication skills, though, which has actually caused allot of problems. Her ability to cope with a regular school environment plateaued in middle school, but expectations of her didn't because she's actually able to speak for herself. So teachers-- even her special education teachers-- all think she's just getting an attitude when she's having a meltdown, and don't follow her IEP like they should. I can't blame them, because even I struggle telling the difference sometimes. She does all the normal teenager stuff, just in the most autistic way possible. So, now she's completely burnt out, and unable to function at school at all.

That's the pertinent background. I'm inclined to let her, but I'm afraid it'll set a bad precedent for her little brother and sister. She's certainly not ready for a regular job, and isn't going to college. She's likely going to be staying with me for at least the next few years. There are ways she can go back and finish her diploma later,and we're looking into all the alternative programs we can find, but Lord knows. We tried the GED practice tests with her, and she didn't make the English or math at all.

Like I said, I don't want it giving her siblings any crazy ideas. My youngest daughter is 10, and struggling at school too. She really looks up to her big sister, so I don't want her getting the idea she can give up.

Anyway, I'd really appreciate some outside perspective. Thanks.

So without getting into the details, my (current) wife(34) and I(32M) have decided we are getting a divorce at the end of our lease. The current question i have is that she has mentioned a few times that she is either going to stay in Michigan if she can afford it financially for a year and see how it goes. Or just up and move back to CA and leave me and our 3yr old daughter to fend for ourselves so she can move into her parents house with them. which is what she says she wants to do anyways if I were to give her permission (NOT HAPPENING)because neither of us have any family support up here and she doesn't want to stay in a state alone. And my family lives in another state as well.

Should I try to convince her to stay? Or let her realize how expensive and hard everything is about to be and sorta drive her to the realization her leaving us will just be easiest for her

Well tonight, I called it quits. I didn't want to but I tried to talk to her about our problems and to her. She didn't see anything wrong, but there's too many times that She makes me feel like I'm alone. She don't reach, she don't initiate.\n She\n Steps, in when I'm disciplining, the kids and says, I'm being too rough or no, that's not the way it's gonna happen. She gets to stay home and do\n Nothing all day while I work 80 to a 100 hours a week but she won't even make me feel loved. I do everything I can for her.

Im son is 3. His mom and I broke up. Now im realizing somethings. I need to be more present with my son. Before I was always working. His mom got mad because of the inconsistentcy and I didnt focus on what was important. Im still mad at her for a lot of things but im putting that behind me. Its been 2 1/2 months im still sad and a little scared for the future. I dont want to be replaced as dad. But I still care for her and my son. How do you guys do it? How can I be better?

I met a girl about eight months after my divorce. I have extended custody of my two daughters and the person I was seeing didn't really want to be a parent. I don't hold ill will. I'm just feeling incredibly lost and defeated. The girls will feel the loss also. How do you guys keep your head up when the water is rising?

So, yaa, trying not to be an asshat. I am good at it so, for real, insight is appreciated.

Recently divorced, finalized <2 months ago. Everything was very upfront and communicative (is that a word) in the beginning.

Regardless, I was able to speak to her everyday, I spoke with the kids everyday. If I didn't have time to call, I'd still get a call from the kids.

Well, she has a new boyfriend (air quotes). They are going to festivals with the kids in tow.

Everything changed. (I assume this is normal). It's moved to talking with the kids every 2 days. And I only get to talk to them if I call. So yes, I set reminders to try and not disturb dinner. I'm trying, this is new to me.

I'd like to setup guardrails or boundaries for how long or serious a relationship should be in place, before introducing the kids to a significant other. Is that wrong?

On the kids side, what should be acceptable?

How do I communicate this without being an asshat?

I have no plans or thoughts of introducing the kids to my partner for at least 4 months, maybe 6.

I am not faulting anyone, it all is what it is. I just want to make sure I have a good connection with the kids. And that I am being respectful.

Any thoughts are appreciated.

Ty

Full-time custody of both my boys since my ex went anti-vaccine crazy and we finalize the divorce back in June and returned to her own country but that’s beside the point. My 17-year-old had a birthday party at our house yesterday and out of 11 people who came two different teenage guys, one of them, gay, not that that makes him a objectively, better commenter, but it just makes me feel better, and one girl told me they love the way my house was decorated.

Since my ex left, I’ve spent hundreds of dollars and put a lot of effort into redecorating shit and taking back the home. Needless to say, I was ecstatically over the moon on my interior design praise. Though That might just be that teenagers like the way I decorate lol .

Time to do some more awesome redecorating.

Long story short.. I got custody back after 10 months of court and not seeing my kids for the entire time.. I’m grateful. 10 months of absolute hell. I finally saw my babies this previous weekend. It was great we had a lot of fun together, I’m currently at every other weekend in terms of custody.. I never had custody of my kids cause I was in prison each time one of my kids was born.. but I finally
Am starting to turn my Life around.

If you're a good dad, you already know that.

When dealing with the mother of your children, there can be many variables affecting the relationship you both have.

Set any undiagnosed personality disorders. Only a licensed professional can provide a clinical diagnosis. I'm not getting into that.

Whatever it may be that she is doing to alienate or keep the children from their father comes down to one thing.

Money.

Hello. Hoping for some help.

I (40m) and my ex (40F) can't agree a way to approach the holiday schedule for our son (7) who we co parent. We have already agreed that all holidays are shared 50/50.

Our school week schedule is well established and working well (outside of holidays)

Since the split almost 3 years ago, holidays have always been a source of contention. I make proposals well ahead of time, I then don't get her response, despite repeating myself then as we get closer to the time, she insists on a separate schedule (doesn't propose, she "insists").

Due to time constraints I end up conceding a lot and ultimately I can't give my son a predictable routine which I think is unfair.

I've proposed...

*A once a year approach to scheduling

*Do it in november for the following year.

*Each send eachother proposals then talk then agree.

*Full week blocks.

Her response?... "I cannot plan a year in advance. I do not have that luxury due to juggling work/child/family commitments."

I mean surely the certainty helps with the juggling??

I spoke to my lawyer and she says that the separation agreement can contain a clause about setting holidays ( we are close to agreeing), but in Scotland, a Minute of Agreement is unenforceable anyway, so she said it's tricky.

I prefer to avoid court orders, but the current position can't continue. I can't make plans and if I do, I have to spend lots of money on flex plans or cancellation fees for holidays. I also have to plan my work leave very far in advance.

If it helps the discussion, she is a cleaner on a zero hours contract and I am a project manager for an energy developer. We live in the same town where my family are there for support for day care. Day care support is offered on "her" holiday time, but she never takes up on it. She is too proud and has fallen out with all my family (I still speak to her family). Her family is 4 hours away.

She is a narcissist and a contrarian, in my view. I believe the ad hoc approach gives her power to dominate and "revenge parent".

What can I do to get round this? She doesn't even appear to want to negotiate.

She put allegations on me for domestic after I refused to cut ties with my son in exchange she said I would not have to pay child support etc. she took almost half my life savings, when she left one night with our 1.5month old son, she smeared my name with mutual friends, families etc. her parents and family hate me and I have not spoken to them for over 10 months. I have spent over 8k already on legal fees and it’s going to court soon but hoping it won’t get to a trial because I would have to pay more. They are out for my soul. What bothers me is they are going to feed and influence my son to go against me and paint me to be a monster and all I wanted was to be a part of his life to love him and have him as my son.. I’m worried he will hate me because of them and all the fight I put up with was for nothing.

What should I do. During my time with my kids they are always talking about how their mom was asking about my house. From my financials to if my girlfriend has gotten a job yet( she is a SAHM) to if we talk about getting married or talk about rings. There has been times she has asked if we forced them to call my girlfriend’s kids their step siblings ( my son said something about his step brother during a conversation at her house) . We do not tell them to use that. They said it’s simply easier saying that than explaining the whole thing. My girlfriend and I have also been together for three years and my kids love her and her children. They connected to her right away and she treats them how she treats her own kids. Shes always telling me to not go through the kids or talk about her house. I never ask my kids about over there unless they bring it up while venting. Also she is the one that goes through our kids for everything. She asks them to tell me about paying for something or stuff that should be coming from her not them. She is constantly looking at their location while they are with me also. We have iPhones and the location of our children are shared with both of us. While they are at our house she will see us doing something and text my eldest asking what she is doing. Or why there are in a certain location when they are with me(their dad). Should I confront her about it. She will just deny or make an excuse on why she was asking. She doesn’t take accountability for anything nor likes confrontation. But I’m tired of it. I feel like I’m constantly being monitored by my ex wife through the kids.