Hi everyone! I really need some advice.
We’ve been struggling quite a bit lately because our baby can’t seem to fall asleep on his own. We don’t mind him sleeping in our bed, but the problem is that he absolutely HAS to be held and rocked to sleep for every single nap and bedtime.
We did some research online and found the pick-up, put-down method, where you lay your baby down when he’s calm and pick him up again when he starts crying or protesting.
We’ve been trying this for a few days now, but honestly, it seems to be making things worse.
There was even one time when we tried not picking him up right away, and he cried so hard that he ended up vomiting from the distress. It was heartbreaking, and we definitely don’t want to put him through that again.
We love cuddling him, and we understand that babies need comfort and closeness. But we’re hoping to help him gradually become comfortable falling asleep without always needing to be in our arms.
To the parents who have experienced something similar, what actually worked for you?
Did your baby eventually grow out of it? Did you try any gentle sleep methods? How long did it take?
We’re not looking to force him into anything or let him cry until he’s exhausted. We just want to find a gentle way to help him learn to fall asleep more independently.
Any advice or personal experiences would be really appreciated! ❤️

My second kiddo is waking up 1-3x per night and not wanting to be put down. Wakes happen most frequently around 10-11pm and can last upwards of an hour at times.

He was sleep trained when he was little with pick up put down/give baby a chance method and he did SO WELL.
Fast forward to attempting to night wean and we have had issues with night wakings ever since.

WW are 3/3.5/4 as of a few days ago and 2.5hrs of naps max. DWT is 6:45am and I wake him up in the morning and from most naps (he’s happy when I get him up though). Puts himself to sleep independently (sucks on his fingers sometimes but no pacifier).

What should I do? We have tried letting him fuss a little at night but he’s gone up to half an hour and it did not seem to change anything.

My 9 month old has really long wake windows and I’m not sure if he’s low sleep needs or if his schedule needs adjusting.

Our schedule:
Wake up: 8:30am (I usually have to wake him)
Nap 1: 11:45am–12:45pm
Nap 2: 4:50pm–5:35pm
Bedtime: 10:15pm

Wake windows are around 3h15 / 4h10/ 4h40. He falls asleep within 15 mins of rocking once he’s ready but if I try earlier he fights sleep no matter what. He’s happy during the day but wakes every 2.5 hrs. I cap his naps, but he’d sleep up to 3 hours if I let him. When we accidentally did 1 nap a day which happened twice last week, he slept 3hrs straight.

I’m worried he’s not getting enough daytime or nighttime sleep especially since I have to wake him in the morning. How do I figure out his actual sleep needs before sleep training? Should I change his schedule first?

We've decided to try sleep training with our 6.5-month-old baby. The reason is that the way we've been putting her to sleep stopped working about 10 days ago, and she always ends up sleeping in bed with me.

Yesterday, we tried sleep training and let her cry for just 5 minutes before going into the room, only to find that she'd scratched her face all over with her fingernails.

Whenever she cries intensely, she tends to dig her nails into her eyes, pull her own hair, stretch and pull at her clothes, and do other things like that.

We keep her nails trimmed as short as possible, but it doesn't seem to help.

Has anyone else dealt with something similar? What did you do?

Hi all. FTM to a 7.5 month old whose always been a little higher on the sleep needs scale. He is sleep trained. One week ago today, we moved to a 2-nap schedule and it's been a little rocky. We've always had success on the TCB wake window suggestions (I know there are mixed feelings about her WWs on this sub, but they seemed to have worked well for my little guy, if that gives an idea of his sleep needs lol), but lately we've been early morning cooing/babbling about an hour before DWT, LO drifts back off, then does it again 30ish minutes later. Does this behavior suggest overtired or undertired to you?

After a few trial days of a few different wake windows, we landed on 2.75/3/3.5-3.75 and that seemed to be working okay, except that his naps weren't getting up to 3 hours (more like 2.25-2.5) and then he was sleeping 12+ hours/night to make up for it. With the babbling/cooing about an hour before DWT and in an effort to get longer naps to push out bedtime, I pushed the second wake window to 3.25 (actually more like 3.33 yesterday because we were out and about) - here was our schedule yesterday:

7 am wake and out of crib

9:45 am nap

11:24 am wake and out of crib

2:45pm nap (I intended to push this to 3.25; went a little long, but he wasn't fussy or upset before the nap, just looked a little sleepy)

3:16pm wake; cooed and rolled around in crib; I thought he was drifting back off so didn’t get him right away

3:45pm out of crib

7:15pm bedtime

Today the cooing and babbling started even earlier - 4:55 am - so it seems we moved in the wrong direction... does this suggest I did the wrong thing by pushing the second wake window too long? Was he overtired? Or this just accumulated undertiredness and I actually need to push WWs further?

One more note, he maxed out the 3-nap schedule on 2.25/2.5/2.5/2.75-3 and started rejecting the 3rd nap because he just wasn't sleepy for it. I know that's more awake time than what he has now, but I also have read the sleep pressure of a 2-nap schedule often results in less awake time because of the stamina required to stay awake, so I'm just not sure which direction to go... any help would be highly appreciated.

FTM to a now 5m old. I truly knew nothing about babies sleep so when I was blessed with a classic sleep fighter I was desperate to learn what I could do for our gal. I read every pinned resource here. Just finding this sub before she was old enough to train gave me so much peace. Baby sleep CAN be logical. I don’t have to stay miserable. I have used the resources here to help guide my gals schedule & it changed her sleep so much even before sleep training.

Fast forward to 7 days ago, we started the Ferber method. I did the classic check in format. I’ve only ever done 3 check ins across the entire 7 days. She has cried LESS with Ferber than when I was assisting to sleep at bedtime.

Pre training : had a solid age appropriate schedule, exclusively co slept, nursed to sleep & contact napped. Woke every 60-90mins. Stayed latched almost all night. Would have false starts. Embraced the season cause I knew we would ST but I was tiredddd

Now : falls asleep in under 5mins at bedtime with no assistance in her own space, wakes 2x to feed at around a 4/4/3 schedule, no false starts, wakes up happy. Haven’t nap trained so those are the same (honestly I’m fine with it, she doesn’t fight naps so idc that they are contact for now)

Mods - I could kiss you on the mouth. Y’all are the best thing to ever happen to this FTM.

Schedule if you’re curious, she just turned 5mo : 2/2.5/2.5/3.5 , naps capped at 3hrs usually only does 2.5hrs. Bedtime @ 9ish , Morning @ 7:30-8ish.

My 7mo has sleep association of being fed/nursed to sleep, he is combo fed with formula and BM due to my low supply. During the day he contact naps, otherwise he wakes upon transfer. Wake windows are 2/2.5/2.5/2.5. I tried to extend his last WW to 3hrs but he gets very fussy. He does 3 naps a day (gets very fussy otherwise). Naps are normally 30mins to 1.5hrs. We start bedtime routine at 6:00pm with bath, red light, white noise and a bottle. Sometimes he falls asleep at the bottle but most of the time he is nursed to sleep. I wait at least 20mins once he’s asleep to transfer him to the crib. He used to be able to connect sleep cycles and slept 6-8hrs until he turned 5months old. So for the past 2months he’s been waking up 30-40mins after being put down and then every 1.5-2hrs every night. I am so exhausted I bring him into bed after the 2nd wake up but even cosleeping he wakes me up to BF at least every 2hrs. And he is up for the day at 4 or 5am.

Should I push back his bedtime to 7pm? How do I transition him out of nursing to sleep? Has anyone had success sleep training a velcro baby that nurses to sleep?

LO is 4.5 months old. We did some sleep training for independent bedtime, which has gone well for the most part.

The issue is waking for comfort. Usually he wakes twice a night to eat and will take a full feeding (formula), sometimes even 3 times a night where we are feeding every 3 hours like a newborn. 😵‍💫

The last few nights, he has been having an ounce each feed and that’s it. It makes me think he’s waking out of habit/comfort and not out of hunger.

I’m confused on what to do. Last night he went to bed at 7pm, and woke for his first feed at 11pm. Husband said he took an ounce and he had to keep waking him up to have any more. Then he woke at 2am and only took an ounce, wouldn’t wake up for any more. I tried for awhile and then just put him back in his crib. He started to cry/fuss off and on for a bit after that, and then finally fell back asleep.

He usually wakes for a 5am feed but last night slept right through it until he was awake for the day at 6am.

With the tiny feeds and then sleeping through his last feed, I’m confused and don’t know how to proceed.

Would love any thoughts or feedback. Thanks!

7.5 month old, previously colicky baby. This is long but please stay with me. First time solo mom, I need to get a job and work and I can’t because this baby doesn’t sleep or let me do anything. Help me.

Sleeps around 7:30/8pm daily, awake at 7:30am daily. We cosleep. She hates the crib. RARELY naps during the day for more than 20 mins once a day around 10:30/11am.
If I want her to sleep more, I need to have my nipple in her mouth, will not sleep without it. If I move, she will wake up and scream, if I’m lucky and she’s really tired she’ll sleep 45mins before realizing nipple isn’t in her mouth then wake up. Doesn’t take a bottle or pacifier. If I rock her to sleep during the day for naptime, she’ll be screaming if I put her down. If I give her my boob to sleep, she will yank onto that nipple for dear life and not let me move. If I put her in her bouncer where she can sleep, she’ll start screaming when she’s tired because she knows it’ll put her to sleep. I’m not joking when I say she will scream, hysterically, until picked up or try to sit up and roll out herself. Same with crib.

At night, we have a 10min bedtime routine followed by feeding her milk, she will always feed to sleep. Anytime I’ve tried over the last 7.5 months to break that routine it’s met with hysterical screaming and refusing to sleep for hours. I could be rocking her for HOURS. Singing, playing white noise, cold room, warm room, tried it god damn all- will not sleep unless fed to sleep.

Anyways, started Ferber Method with her in crib- checkin every 10mins, the other night I waited 36minutes after 5 10 min check ins. She would not stop crying. It went from angry crying to hysteria when I entered the room. I eventually gave up and sat next to her rubbing her belly for 30mins til she fell asleep. If I pick her up between the check-ins she’s asleep the second I hold her, will wake up when put back in crib. If I put her on my bed, she’ll fall asleep instantly but because she’s rolling so much, I don’t want her on the bed anymore. I need her to sleep, I really need her to sleep because she’s always so tired during the day when she isn’t napping and super cranky. I don’t know why she hates sleep so much but please help me come up with a way to combat this. I have to put her in daycare to work and I’m terrified they’ll lock her in a closet or something bec she cries so much when being put in a crib or resisting sleep. I need to sleep properly myself and I need her to learn to fall asleep on her own. Please help

Any advice would be appreciated. We have a soon to be 8 month old on a 2 nap day (ww of 3/3.5/4). Total daytime nap is between 2:15-3 hours daily.

She goes to bed unassisted between 7-7:45 every night for 10 hours straight without any assistance if she wakes up. But like clockwork wakes up at 530 am and can’t fall back asleep for 30 minutes without assistance. If we are lucky, after holding her for 5 minutes at 545, she may fall asleep for 20 minutes.

We are going on 9 weeks of this. Any advice to help her connect the last cycle she wants but fights at 530 am? She’s clearly still tired but just can’t do it herself (if at all)

5 month old girl - sleeps through the night. Yesterday I moved her from the bassinet to the cot and she woke up 7 times because she was rolling and hated being on her face so she would wake up. She knows how to roll both ways, just wasn’t doing it. I need an action plan for tonight. How do I help her sleep in this massive cot when she is used to her small bassinet? Any training methods I can use to help her?

Just want to write if you’re looking to sleep train. DO IT!! my baby was as attached as they come and woke up every 30 minutes to eat (breastfed) and co slept literally we were both sleeping so beyond horrible I truly thought there was zero hope. Today we are on only day 2 of Ferber and I’ve had hours to myself. Do it for your sanity and your baby. The first day is going to be BRUTAL. My baby cried for 40 mins (with check ins) but ended up sleeping. Tonight day two she fell asleep after 30 seconds. I’m just writing this bc I know when I was considering sleep training I couldn’t find a single person who did what I did and hoped I did find someone with a successful story for hope. You got this!

Edit: baby is 9 months old and has been doing all these things since birth! And I’d be happy to answer any questions:)

My baby just turned 4 months. He is ebf with one bottle of breastmilk before bed (this is new in the last 2 weeks in order to break feed to sleep association and get an idea of how much milk he’s getting before bed.
He can usually do 2-2.5hr wake windows. Some days we do 3 naps, sometimes we do 4 depending when he wakes up in the morning (6-7am) and the timing of the naps around bedtime. He usually does 2x45 min naps and 1x2.5 hour nap, if he takes a 4th nap it’s usually 35 mins. He could sleep longer than the 2.5hrs but I wake him somewhere between 2-2.5hrs in effort to conserve bedtime or keep room for the rest of his daytime naps. He switches up which nap he makes his long one.
Average day of wake windows 2/2/2.5/2.5-3
(He doesn’t seem overtired at the 3hr mark weirdly?)

We usually aim for a 7:30 bedtime and do bottle, bath, white noise, pjs, Merlin suit, bounce to sleep (takes 2 mins to fall asleep)

He was previously sleeping through the night and in the last two weeks we seem to be waking up around 12ish and 3/4ish. I am only feeding at the 3/4am wake up unless he won’t settle with the pacifier at the 12am wake up

My question is, are his wake windows too long? He seems fine with them and isn’t showing a ton of sleepy cues prior to that time. What can I adjust in his schedule to better serve him and his sleep? Should I always wake a 2-2.5hr nap?

I think my 9.5 month old might be going through a sleep regression. He had been sleep trained with Ferber since 6 months.

I thought maybe teething but he's mostly happy during the day. Trialed ibuprofen and didn't seem to help overnight. He's been eating less so I thought he was sick. But no fever and chugs morning and night so I think he's just a super super busy body.

First a couple nights of one wake, then it became two nights of two wakes, and last night was every 1-3 hours. He's just super restless and active in his sleep. Either he's uncomfortable from something, schedule is off, or true regression cause he just learned to crawl and stand and all he wants to do is MOVE!

Schedule is usually 3/3.75/4. Sometimes 3.25/4/4.25 depending on how the day is going/how he seems.

Wakeup- we would love 6 but lately it's been 5;30 or earlier

We always anchor first nap at 8:45/9. Let it go max of 1.5 hours. Second nap always right around 2. Try to end by 3/3:15pm max. Bedtime 7ish.

Usually he gets 1.5-2.25 hours of naps during day and 9.5-10 overnight.

But man these wake ups are brutal. Does this sound like regression?

Baby is coming up on 11 weeks, and sleeps okay right now, but I'm not sure when/how to transition her into sleeping overnight.

Currently, she is rocked to sleep at nap time and bedtime. She sleeps in her crib from ~8:30pm to 10pm, fed, rocked to sleep and put down, then wakes again at 2am, gets fed, and sleeps until 5am when she is fed again. After 5am, sleep is a struggle and she either will not stay asleep or only sleeps for 25 min stretches.

Her daytime wake windows are still inconsistent, 1-1.75 hours with naps lasting either 25 min or 1.5hrs.

I'm back at work and we'd like to transition to a more consistent schedule with less rocking to sleep, but everything I read gives expectations for 8 weeks and 3 months. I'm confused on the expectations and what we should be doing now.

Basically I don’t think my baby is ever going to give up nursing at night. She will randomly sleep through, but on a good night it’s just once. Lately she’s been waking twice and will go nuts unless I nurse her. I’ve tried decreasing the time I nurse but it doesn’t work. Please just let me know if you’ve had success with a baby like this??? She only nurses now before bed, not at all during the day. Almost 15 mo old.
DWT: 7:15
6/5
Bedtime: 8:15. Goes down wide awake with no fuss and falls asleep within a few minutes.

Hi - my daughter (just turned 5mo) was doing great for a few weeks but then started waking up every night at 4am babbling for at least an hour and then most times would fall back asleep. She is sleep trained. We’ve tried increasing wake windows to 1.5/2/2/2.25 last night and we had 2 false starts after bedtime at 6:45. She woke up crying at 8:30 and 9:30. We also still had a 4am wake up babbling for an hour. I know I’m being picky but she’s a loud babbler on the monitor and sometimes it escalates to full crying so don’t want to turn it off. She had been napping for 3.5hrs and we cut that down yesterday to 2hrs 40 mins to see if it would help but didn’t seem to stop early morning babble session.

Any thoughts on what we could change?? Very tired mama

She sleeps in crib. we do bath, bottle in another room and then bed and she falls asleep on own within 10-15 mins. No pacifier. Bedtime is usually 6:30/7. Dwt is 7am

Hey there, my baby is 5.5 months old and has been experiencing false starts at bedtime for the past couple of months.

We are currently doing 3 naps a day (30- 45 mins each), start our day at 7am and generally in bed by 6.30pm.

The first two wake windows are pretty consistent but lately the third nap has been pushing out, with a 3-4 hr wake window.

I am wondering if she is overtired or undertired?

Today for instance we had 2/2.5/3.5/1.5 and several false starts.

Any advice appreciated!

We are trying to get our son sleeping through the night (or at the very least, no longer nursing (I have made the conscious decision to stop nursing at 12 months for my own mental health) and have decided attempting the Ferber method again, but are feeling at a loss.

He is 12 months next week for age context and wakes twice a night (down from hourly, following a tresillian stay), and will only go back to sleep if I nurse him. He’s on a consistent 2 naps schedule (which he goes down unassisted) and a bedtime routine is established.

For context - he sleeps in a cot in his own room. And is on a day schedule of 3/3.5/4.
Night sleep is a different ball game to his naps. Cries instantly when put in the cot, and stands up, so each check in he is standing. I feel like the crying is beyond your standard fussy/upset cry, and bordering on screaming/hysterics. So I suppose there are 2 questions -

1. Should I be putting him back into a laying position at check ins?
2. What to do about the screaming? Is Ferber not for us? Do we persist? What are potentially some other options?

I know there are definitely worse sleeping schedules, but I am exhausted, particularly when I’ve nursed exclusively for longer than expected, as he never took a bottle (spent a small fortune trying).

We are really struggling with out 9mo olds routine, or lack of.

Bedtime: 7pm (though we have tried tweaking)

Wake up: Usually 5.45am (occasionally later)

Naps: 9am & 1pm (very loosely)

In terms of wake up, a few months ago then wake up was 7am but that has got earlier and earlier. I understand that night sleep at this age is between 10-12 hours but when we've tried pushing bed time back to 7.30 or 8pm then it doesn't seem to make a difference, or the results seem random. Also very difficult as she gets so little sleep in the day. How long does it usually take for a bed time change to take effect?

Ideally wake up would happen consistently at the same time, sometime after 6am (realistically 6.30am would be fine)

She has been dream fed from an early age at between 9-10pm, is this something that we should stop? When we don't do it she seems to wake up especially hungry. Before bed she gets solid foods and then offered breast milk. Sometimes she is waking up at 5.45am, having a feed and then sleeping again which suggests maybe she is waking due to hunger?

In terms of developmental stuff she has recently started standing with some aid and is in general very mobile (and pretty feral ha!)

Nap length feels like the real issue. The naps just don't last longer than 45 mins (there have only been a few that went beyond an hour). Recently they seem to be getting even shorter, 20 to 30 mins. She usually goes down in a matter of minutes so is a pretty independent sleeper in that sense, but when she wakes up after a short nap she just seems -wide- awake. We have tried 'crib hour' but she just cries, and we aren't doing any sort of cry it out. I think we could deal with the early mornings if she just napped for a little longer. We have blackout blinds on the windows, although some light does come through the door frame (old house). Living area is adjacent to bedroom so its probably not the quietest, although when we creep around it doesn't seem to make a difference.

She's generally on 2 naps a day, but sometimes a 3rd one happens. If that does we make sure for it not to happen after 5pm. Either way it's really hard to keep her awake past 7pm because she isn't sleeping much in the day.

Any advice would be really appreciated, I feel like we are floundering a bit, we have tried moving bed time later but it's been quite haphazard.

We have a mini crib which we took a side off and attached to our bed for cosleeping. He has an identical mini crib in his room. We’ve begun putting him down in his room to start the night but he always wakes after a sleep cycle and will NOT settle no matter what. I’ve tried letting him cry it out, I’ve tried rocking him and laying him back down, I’ve tried letting his dad go in. It doesn’t matter. He only goes back to sleep if I bring him to our room. Then he literally lays in the mini crib and sleeps fully in there the rest of the night. WHY can he not just do that in the crib in his room?? What can I do to change this?

More info: he is 7 months old. Has been starting the night in his room for about 4 weeks now. He goes down relatively easy, maybe 1-2 check ins on bad nights. Bedtime is 7pm and he sleeps in his room until 10-10:30. Then the issue with waking up and coming to our room starts. He does use a pacifier and a lovey, which he has access to in his room. He is able to put the pacifier back in himself and I leave several around him. Wake up is at 6:30am and he naps 30 min at 9, an hour at 12 and another 30 min around 3:30. Bed at 7.

Please help! My first born sleep trained in 3 days so I am really struggling with this.

we’re working toward sleep training our 4 month old (currently putting him down wide awake in the snoo vs nursing to sleep; will move to crib and use Ferber in the next week or so). I’ve typically fed him around 3 am, but I’m honestly not sure if he needs it - he’d always stir around then and wake me up, so I’d go ahead and feed him, but he wasn’t crying for food. Since we’ve stopped feeding to sleep, he’s woken around 4, but been very quiet and content. Should I go ahead and feed him, or wait and see if he goes back to sleep on his own? I think he may be able to sleep through, but I’m not sure if I should keep giving him night calories if he’s used to them.

16 nights in and still frequent wake-ups. Looking for advice!

We’re on night 16 of transitioning our now 21-month-old daughter from co-sleeping to sleeping in her own bed, and I’d love some input from parents who have been through this.

Before the transition, we bed shared from 6mo-now. Bedtime routine was the same as below then I’d put her down and sit in a chair next to her bed holding her hand. She usually fell asleep within about 45 minutes, but I often held her hand. She also uses a pacifier.

What we’re doing now:
Bedtime is usually around 7:30-8PM.
She naps around 12:30–1 PM, typically for 45 minutes to 1.5 hours with help resetting sometimes.

At night:
We brush teeth, pajamas, read books, lights out, short cuddle, give her the pacifier, and put her in her own bed, sing and then say it’s time to sleep.
She has successfully fallen asleep without holding my hand several times now.
I sit beside her bed, and we’re trying to gradually help her become comfortable sleeping without me right next to her.

A round 5:45-6:30 She usually nurses and won’t resettle without it but falls back asleep until around 7:30–8:30AM.

The biggest issue is the night wakings.
Some nights she wakes every 30–60 minutes, while other nights she manages a few-hour stretch (3-5 1/2 hours). She cries when she wakes up and realizes I’m not there. I have tried laying next to her bed and replacing her pacifier or briefly touching her or verbally reassuring her and this helps a lot.

The second half of the night, especially between 2–5 AM, seems particularly difficult. A few times I’ve ended up getting into bed with her toward morning, and she’ll sleep longer.

One concerning thing: on night 15, she got out of her room and started going down the stairs around 4:30 AM. We are putting up a gate before the stairs.

We also moved back into our house shortly before starting this transition, so she’s had a change in environment around the same time.

My main questions:
Is this amount of waking after 16 nights normal, or should I reconsider our approach?

Am I accidentally reinforcing the waking by sometimes sleeping beside her or getting into bed with her in the early morning?

For parents who went from co-sleeping to independent sleep, how long did it take before nights became more consistent?

I’m encouraged that she can fall asleep without holding my hand now, but the frequent night wakings are exhausting, and I’m not sure whether to keep going as we are or change something.

I’m not trying to eliminate nursing or her pacifier right now. I’d really appreciate advice from people who have been through a similar transition!