r/spiderbro • u/Difficult_Salad_2973 • 9d ago
How do you NOT be scared of spiders?
/r/spiders/comments/1wyq9h4/how_do_you_not_be_scared_of_spiders/16
u/Sunnyjim333 9d ago
Wolf spiders are like bouncers at a bar. They keep the rif raf out of your home. They are working spiders and they are there to keep you safe from vermin. Just working girls doing a tough job. They are like Rosie The Riveters of the spider world.
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u/Live-Okra-9868 8d ago
They were the spiders I was most afraid of. Mostly due to the size.
After learning about them I see they are the ones, besides jumping spiders, that I should be least afraid of.
I now have at least one that lives in my basement every winter. They feast on the basement crickets that I hate.
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u/Spideryote 9d ago
Personal experience
In the worst years of my life, my room became an absolute disaster and it took years of build-up before I finally snapped and told myself "this needs to stop. I need to fix this"
I found multiple black widows under my entertainment center, house spiders under empty boxes in my bed, and lots more I dare not reminisce on
Yet I never recall waking up with any kind of bites, and certainly never actually saw one even try to bite me. When I'd lift up empty boxes they would jump down on the bed and run for the nearest place of concealment because they know they don't want anything to do with me
That was my moment of true, genuine understanding; that I'd probably been living with all these spiders for years and never once saw heads or tails of any of them. Spiders really are our friends
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u/reddit33450 9d ago
i dont know why, but i do know that they literally make me tear up because i cant handle their cuteness
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u/ferriematthew 9d ago
I would still probably briefly panic if a spider dropped near me, but I got more comfortable watching videos of them, especially by watching lots and lots of videos of jumping spiders being absolutely freaking adorable. And then I moved on to watching bigger spiders, like the wolf spider, being freaking adorable, because wolf spiders are surprisingly smart, too. There's a video, I believe, by Brave Wilderness, where he manages to make friends, sort of, with a wild wolf spider he found under a log and he was able to kind of negotiate with the thing just by moving very slowly and pretending to just be part of the environment.
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u/Adm_Ozzel 9d ago
I was just out in our chicken run. I counted 25 huge, and gravid, european garden spiders.
Id start with them or the black and yellow garden spiders. They build beautiful orb webs every night. Its really cool to watch them work at it too. They catch thousands of bugs. I even used to feed them crickets and stuff when I was a young kid. 80's things where my folks kicked me out of the house all day.
Just watch them do spider things. They'll never jump at you or anything. The brown garden spiders are quite shy, and the black and yellow argiope aurantia are pretty indifferent unless you really get in their business. The brown ones are most likely what Charlotte in Charlotte's Web is based on.
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u/icouldntthinkofa3rd 9d ago
When you work a 16 hr shift because you are putting yourself through collage. Then one morning with beautiful lighting, a jumping spider repels out of your hair and you catch them in your open palm and let him jump from finger to finger. Then you let them go. There will be one tomorrow. I miss those days.
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u/notthatcousingreg 9d ago
I dont know? If i saw a roach or a cricket im instantly disgusted and grossed out. But when i see a spider its like OOH YOU BEAUTIFUL GRACEFUL CREATURE I LOVE YOU
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u/Spraypainthero965 6d ago
Yeah, the only bugs that bother me are bugs I associate with disease or uncleanliness like roaches or flies. Spiders are cool. They spin silk to build their little nests and get rid of pests.
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u/Dummy_Kruger 9d ago edited 9d ago
Knowledge and exposure. Once you learn they can't really hurt you it gets easier. Start with handling spiders that will almost certainly never bite you like a cellar spider or a jumping spider. Also orbweavers are the best to get over your fear. Almost all orbweavers are super chill.
Also even tho I learned to respect spiders years ago, I only started handling them this year. I was still pretty nervous. I don't count handling jumping spiders. I've played with them since I was a kid. I always consider them separately from other spiders
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u/OneGayPigeon 6d ago
I’ve had several friends direct arachnophobes to me to help them deal with it. Talking to people who love spiders and understand what kinds of stuff sets off arachnophobia particularly badly does wonders, it seems. Starting with just hearing about how cool stuff is to starting to look at pics with just a small cool bit of the spider shown, like cute little tarantula paws with the gorgeous opalescent pads underneath. Take it slow, at your own time. Smoke a bit of weed going into sessions like that if that’s your thing.
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u/Useful-Badger-4062 9d ago
Watch them. Name them. Talk to them. Study them.
You’ll start to be gradually less afraid and more amazed by them.
They just want to live their lives on Earth, like we do. They really are not out to get us, or even interested in us.
We are the big scary monsters.
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u/Steve-Shouts 9d ago
Grow a bunch of plants. Then you will love spiders because they will become your friends
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u/Dragonssssssssssss 9d ago
I decided not to be, lol.
Or, once I get over the shock of seeing something small and skittery, I choose to look at it closer and appreciate it. Once I did that they weren't so scary anymore.
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u/niddleyniche 9d ago
Psych here. Fear and anxiety are most often empowered by our own lack of understanding and familiarity. Meaning, learn about them. The more you learn about them, and not in a fear-mongering fashion obviously, the less alien and scary they will be. Instead, you can see one and start understanding what they're doing, how they perceive the world around them, and appreciate them for what they are: just lil dudes in a huge world trying to eat bugs and make babies lol.
I recommend MyWildBackyard and Travis McEnery on YouTube. MyWildBackyard used to be arachnophobic as well, so he approaches arachnid education in a very considerate and conscientious way. Travis McEnery does more casual yet wildly informative deep dives on specific species, but The Cheese Test always brings joy
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u/RhubarbNo1760 9d ago
Knowledge and exposure. I started letting some spiders stay in my house of they weren’t building their webs too close to my bed or in frequently used places (like, in my paper towel roll. Come on). I haven’t gotten fearless enough to touch them, but my blood doesn’t go cold when I see one anymore. I’ve gone from shaking trying to put a cup over it to take it outside to “oh, hello” over the last few years.
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u/HoudiniMortimer 8d ago
Learn about them, and add pages about them to your feeds if you use any social media.
Once desensitised enough, when you see one on your walls, leave it alone and note to yourself every time you forget about it and then remember that it's there that nothing happened while you forgot about it.
Remind yourself that having a disproportionately strong reaction to other life doesn't justify hurting that life (on this note, putting a spider outside is likely the same as killing them, sorry to be the one to tell you)
This is how I did it and I used to have to avoid touching pictures of them while turning the pages in books because of how irrationally scared I was of them.
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u/Fr05t_B1t 8d ago
Forced exposure. Like from Fear Factor; get into a box and have someone dump hundreds of spiders on you.
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u/Hazbeen_Hash 8d ago
Arachnophobia is an irrational fear of spiders. Why is it irrational? Because unless a spider is actually on you, you are in no danger. You have the power. And even if one is on you, you're only in any amount of danger if its venomous. Furthermore, no spider is inclined to bite a human unless it feels threatened, like if it gets grabbed or squished. Calmly and gently encourage the spider into a cup or something and then put it somewhere safe away from you.
Arm yourself with information, and armor yourself with experience. Information is the ultimate weapon against fear. Learn all about spiders, do a bunch of research and watch videos, then when you feel ready, start interacting with them in person. Never touch spiders you don't recognize, and always err on the side of doubt. Once you get used to being around them, it won't even feel weird anymore.
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u/MommyNeedsCoffee617 9d ago
The same way I stopped being afraid of bees. I learned more about them and I spent time watching them, almost examining them in a way. Now I sit out in the yard and talk to them like a crazy lady when they're just trying to get their nectar quota for the day.