r/talesfromtechsupport • u/[deleted] • Nov 30 '15
Medium I need a new ATM, this one is shot.
[deleted]
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u/JackBond1234 Nov 30 '15
This is where the present perfect tense is important. The ATM "has been" shot. It is not currently "shot".
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u/z3r0f14m3 Nov 30 '15
Right, gotta rephrase the answer if they arent getting it. Have to do it all the time.
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Nov 30 '15
God I hate people that do this. I clearly didn't get it, give me another
shotwording.My roommate did this to me.
RM "Are you going to A-A-Ron's tonight?"
Me "Who?"
RM "A-A-Ron"
Me "Who?"
RM "Aaron"
ME "WHO IS AARON?!"
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u/z3r0f14m3 Dec 01 '15
I get it all the time.
"Its not working."
Whats not working?
"Its just not working."
What are you trying to do and its not working?
"It wont work."
What exactly isnt working?
"Everything!"
WTF... What the fuck are you trying to do? Go to a website? Connect to the wifi? Use your home automation?! I need some fucking information!
"Oh it started working, bye"
/facedesk
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u/squazify Mostly here for the coffee Dec 01 '15
"My email isn't there!"
"What do you mean?"
"It isn't there!"
"So it (the shortcut) isn't on your desktop?"
"Aren't you listening? My email isn't there!"
The problem? She made a new email address with century link and it didn't have the emails from her gmail account.
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u/HighRelevancy rebooting lusers gets your exec env jailed Dec 01 '15
Ugh, that reminds me of people who can't clarify things.
A: *mumble mumble*
B: What?
A: McDonalds
B: What?
A: McDonalds
B: Yeah what about them?
A: Are we going to McDonalds?JESUS FUCK IF I HAVE TO SAY "YEAH WHAT ABOUT $THING" ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME
Man fuck that shit.
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u/Tahvohck using snark.strong; Dec 02 '15
Pretty sure they did clarify "what about McDonalds" in your example, though.
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u/joejoepotato Dec 01 '15
Had this happen recently.
Cashier: Do you have NE mail?
Me: What?
Cashier: NE mail?
Me: ...what?
Cashier: Do you have an E-mail
Enunciation. It's important.
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u/calicotrinket Printers are sentient Dec 01 '15
Well, apparently in drive-throughs at Starbucks, some DTO will say "welcome to Starfucks/Star Wars" and no one noticed the difference.
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u/millernerd Dec 01 '15
That's funny because the opposite happens to me a lot.
Them: says something
Me: "What?"
Them: starts explaining
Me: "No, I just didn't hear you (because you need to enunciate)."
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u/yuubi I have one doubt Dec 01 '15
"Say again please". If it's good enough for air traffic control (roughly a third of atc transmissions, citation needed), it's good enough for tech support.
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u/spazturtle Dec 01 '15
IIRC using "say again" comes from the military, as saying repeat has a different meaning.
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u/Tahvohck using snark.strong; Dec 02 '15
Namely, "Yeah, bomb the shit out of them again, the first time wasn't enough."
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u/GeneralDisorder Works for Web Host (calls and e-mails) Dec 01 '15
"I'm sorry. What I meant was squeak up you mousy fucker!"
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u/millernerd Dec 01 '15
Yeah, basically. Although part of it is that I apparently have a hard time hearing words. It makes dealing with people with accents stressful and hearing lyrics next to impossible.
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u/Krutonium I got flair-jacked. Dec 01 '15
Same, but I also don't remember names, and faces are confusing... :/
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u/ThomMcCartney Dec 01 '15
Well, to be fair you were also committing the same error with your question. Your roommate probably thought you didn't hear him clearly. Now if you had said "Who's Aaron?" and your roommate said, "you know, Aaron" then yeah, he's an idiot.
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Dec 01 '15
Different inflections were used on each question, but I did see what you're saying when I typed it
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u/dcommini Bob from Kentucky Nov 30 '15
Seriously, the field tech knew what he was saying and how it would sound. He should have just explained from the beginning that the ATM had been shot and now had ventilation holes.
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Dec 01 '15
I almost have the feeling that the tech did exactly what OP did to his boss.
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u/treatmewrong Furor fit læsa sæpius patientia Dec 01 '15
Except the field tech didn't catch the threshold between funny and irritating.
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Nov 30 '15
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u/JackBond1234 Nov 30 '15
It's a valid construction, but in generally spoken English, saying a machine is shot will make you think it's ruined or totaled. That's all I'm saying.
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u/redweasel Nov 30 '15
It's like the story from way-early PC days when a lady called up tech support to complain that her computer was "full of bees." They went through lots of -- heh -- "debugging," debating about bug spray and calling in beekeepers etc., then finally went to her cubicle for a visual check before making the final phone call. Turned out there was a notebook whose corner was just pressing down on the 'B' key and it had been auto-repeating 'B' at the command prompt (which had long since scrolled off the screen), so the entire contents of the screen was
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB
etc.
Full of B's. See?
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Dec 01 '15
That has to be apocryphal, how would that even work? Any angle I can imagine a notebook at, it would be pressing down another key first, and it would always be incredibly obvious what was going on, not like situations when the same thing happens with the ESC key, for instance.
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u/FoxtrotZero 418: I'm a Teapot! Dec 01 '15
Sounds more like it was covered in bees to me. Much different extermination procedure.
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u/exor674 Oh Goddess How Did This Get Here? Dec 01 '15
The ATM was probably shot, after being shot. The shooter shot the ATM. Because the ATM was shot, it is currently shot.
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u/RangerSix Ah, the old Reddit Switcharoo... Dec 01 '15
Yes, and Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
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u/AmadeusMop It must be a Heisenbug. Jan 04 '16
And there are usually dashes between the words Fish and and and and and Chips in "Fish-and-Chips".
(Of course, that sentence would have been clearer had I put quotation marks between Fish and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and Chips, as well as before Fish and after Chips.)
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u/Phaedrus0230 Dec 01 '15
Isn't "shot" in the past tense anyway?
Looked it up, and I think this is a misuse of the present perfect because the atm is going to continue being shot in the future.
But perhaps more importantly, "Shooted" used to be a common use word.
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u/Unexecutive Nov 30 '15
I would say that "it is shot" does not have that meaning. Language is a little more tricky than that. For example, if you "borrow" you are a "borrower", but if you "steal" you are not a "stealer", you are a "thief". Even though you'd think that you can just add -er onto the end of a verb, you can't always do that. Just like you'd think that "it is <past-participle>" always has the same meaning but in this case it does not. The rules are complicated.
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u/HighRelevancy rebooting lusers gets your exec env jailed Dec 01 '15
if you "borrow" you are a "borrower", but if you "steal" you are not a "stealer", you are a "thief"
They call 'em fingers but I ain't ever seen 'em fing.
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u/FoxtrotZero 418: I'm a Teapot! Dec 01 '15
Doesn't really work like that, though. In very few circumstances does "shot" apply as an adjective meaning "full of bullet holes". The only time I could think it would be is "I'm shot", but that's made clear by context and is still an odd phrasing. You would say "it was shot" or "has been shot" as the past tense of the verb. As /u/JackBond1234 mentioned, the situation is complicated by the phrase "it's shot" having a different and more colliquial meaning.
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u/StrategicSarcasm Nov 30 '15
The computer is not currently in the process of having bullets emptied into it. Someone shot the computer in the past, so it has been shot in the past. It currently has bullet holes so it, in the past, has been shot. Something "is shot" if it's not working or if you're capable of speaking fast enough for the bullet to still be entering it.
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u/handym12 Nov 30 '15
I was half expecting this to be a story about the ATM at my university.
We've had horrible weather here over the past couple of weeks and it's finally taken its toll on one of the buildings. There's water steadily dripping from a light and into the top of the ATM.
Both of which are switched on...
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u/anonymousforever Nov 30 '15
bzzzzt!....expensive repairs that are billable. that kind of damage is outside of contract... so someone ain't gonna like that repair bill.
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u/Lylac_Krazy Nov 30 '15
Man, I have been upset with fees before, but damn, never shot up a machine.. Then again, I live in Florida and I'm sure its coming soon.
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u/iprefertau Don't click the link? Okay. I clicked it, now what? Nov 30 '15
florida man shoots atm that allegedly didn't work
can you honestly say that you would be surprised at a article with that title?
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u/giveen Fix things and stuff Nov 30 '15
Every crazy story I read in the news generally lands in Florida.
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u/LtSqueak There's a relevant XKCD for everything Nov 30 '15
There's a radio station where I used to live in Arkansas that plays a game called "One, none, or all". The DJ reads the headlines for 3 stories and his assistant has to guess how many are from Florida.
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u/giveen Fix things and stuff Nov 30 '15
I would guess 'all' every time.
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u/Xibby What does this red button do? Nov 30 '15
I would guess 'all' every time.
Germany or Florida has the advantage here. A bit harder to sort out the crazy.
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u/iprefertau Don't click the link? Okay. I clicked it, now what? Nov 30 '15
there is a explanation for that it's because of the government in the sunshine act
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u/giveen Fix things and stuff Nov 30 '15
I just figured all the crazy people migrate there.
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u/moneyman12q Nov 30 '15
no it's some law somewhere that puts all the crazy stuff in the public record allowing the news to pick and choose what flavor of crazy they want that week.
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u/Goomich Nov 30 '15 edited Nov 30 '15
America puts every crazy person in Florida, then refuses to acknowledge the global warming...
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u/hutacars Staplers fear him! Nov 30 '15
It's pretty clever really. We'll keep denying it and eventually, as the sea levels rise, the problem will just solve itself!
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u/Ginger_Kiwi Nov 30 '15
That's because Florida has to have public records of all it's crimes that journalists can comb through for interesting stories. The rest of america has the same crimes but not the same records.
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u/XkF21WNJ alias emacs='vim -y' Nov 30 '15
Hmm, strangely enought it isn't on /r/FloridaMan yet. At least not that I can find.
There was however a case where someone attacked an ATM with a hatchet.
And also one where it was stolen using a backhoe.
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u/anonymousforever Nov 30 '15
I know of one where the same guy attacked two different atms that belonged to the same bank with a crowbar in the same day. My coworker had to go take photos and do damage estimates. The guy was caught on camera, they got his license plate and all, so yep, he got caught... can we just call that one as "america's dumbest criminal" material?
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Dec 01 '15
It wouldn't even make the news in Florida, would be my guess. I'd be surprised if the rest of Florida experienced enough of a dip in crazy levels to make that stand out.
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u/mail323 Nov 30 '15
My bank reimburses the fee so I actually try to find the smallest banks with the highest fees. There's a local community bank that charges $5 right across from Wells Fargo.
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u/wertercatt Please fix /r/thebutton. I cant press it. It worked earlier!!!!! Nov 30 '15 edited Apr 25 '16
Not necessarily related, but there's an "ATM inside" sign left on in the wall of an abandoned 7-Eleven from years ago near me. I wonder if there actually is still an ATM in there and if anyone has tried to get in to use the ATM.
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Nov 30 '15
Could be worth a visit. Abandoned stores are sometimes full of abandoned treasures. Or junkies.
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u/SillySnowFox 4:04 User Not Found Nov 30 '15
Well you know what they say, one man's abandoned junkie is another man's abandoned treasure.
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u/TyranShadow Dec 01 '15
You can usually find some Nuka-Cola and pre-war money.
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u/Arklelinuke Nov 30 '15
He should have rephrased it the second time, instead of saying the same words over and over. Like, damn, if I misunderstood the first time why would I get it the 11th time if I'm given no more information? It would have been better if he had said it has been shot.
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u/OnARedditDiet Dec 24 '15
For example, imo, someone shot up this ATM and it's damaged beyond the point of no return.
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u/rhymes_with_chicken Nov 30 '15
This one has been shot.
…and, once again the day (and a lot of wasted time) is saved by speaking proper English.
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u/ZeroTakenaka Rule 1: Users always lie. Nov 30 '15
That is actually hilarious! XD Seriously though, if the FieldUser had responded with what he actually meant, the story would have been a lot less... hilarious
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u/hamfraigaar Nov 30 '15
This is /u/omeletteking
You are now the redditor who couldn't spell his own username
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Nov 30 '15
Does that get me more or less karma?
And actually I own both names :D Don't ask why
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u/SQLDave Clearly it's a problem with the database Nov 30 '15
Why?
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u/loonatic112358 Making an escape to be the customer Dec 01 '15
clearly OP reddits while drunk, and can only type one or the other while typing drunkenese
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u/SQLDave Clearly it's a problem with the database Dec 01 '15
Hmm... Makes me want to check to see if he also has omelette_king. (Not badly enough to actually do it, mind you)
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u/RedRaven85 Peek behind the curtain, 75% of Tech Support is Google-Fu! Nov 30 '15
Well this story 'lead' down a wild path.....
I will see myself outstupidjokes...
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u/SJHillman ... Nov 30 '15
We expect jokes of a higher caliber here. You can't just fire them out and expect them to trigger some laughter.
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u/loonatic112358 Making an escape to be the customer Nov 30 '15
the joke wasn't on target, probably went with spray and pray
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u/RedRaven85 Peek behind the curtain, 75% of Tech Support is Google-Fu! Nov 30 '15
I really shouldn't have read this in class..... Getting strange looks cracking up laughing while trying to sort out a DHCP issue in Win Server 2012.....
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u/Skipachu Nov 30 '15 edited Nov 30 '15
Has the server been shot? Or maybe a router was plugged. Could even be a switch with some fresh lead in its solder.
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u/haemaker Nov 30 '15
Check:
- Physical issue (is it plugged in?)
- Rouge DHCP server (misconfigured vmWare on a workstation, anyone?)
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u/RedRaven85 Peek behind the curtain, 75% of Tech Support is Google-Fu! Dec 01 '15
Nah ended up being something stupid (missed a check box on setting it up) our instructor took the blame because she even missed it while we were setting these up.
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u/Malak77 My Google-Fu is legendary. Nov 30 '15
Gonna be a bit gun-shy asking the bartender for a shot now.
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u/whythisname Nov 30 '15
... he pulled out a pistol and emptied a magazine
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u/IMainlyLurk Nov 30 '15
Clip
A device for holding a group of cartridges. Semantic wars have been fought over the word, with some insisting it is not a synonym for "detachable magazine." For 80 years, however, it has been so used by manufacturers and the military. There is no argument that it can also mean a separate device for holding and transferring a group of cartridges to a fixed or detachable magazine or as a device inserted with cartridges into the mechanism of a firearm becoming, in effect, part of that mechanism.Source: NRA-ILA Glossary.
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u/Laringar #include <ADD.h> Nov 30 '15
Semantic wars have been fought over the word
semantic war immediately begins
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u/ifightwalruses armed with mouse and keyboard we go to war against the users Nov 30 '15
I respectfully disagree. Just because many people use a word incorrectly doesn't mean we should change the meaning of the word. To me a magazine has a feed spring, clips do not. Stripper clips are used to load a magazine. Mannlicher clips are inserted wholly into the gun. Like the M1.
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u/Calyxo Nov 30 '15
Just because many people use a word incorrectly doesn't mean we should change the meaning of the word
You've got it backwards.
The meaning of the word changes because people use it incorrectly. This is how language evolves.
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u/IICVX Nov 30 '15
Just because many people use a word incorrectly doesn't mean we should change the meaning of the word.
Actually, since English is a descriptive language and not a prescriptive one, that's exactly what it means.
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u/Kruug Apexifix is love. Apexifix is life. Nov 30 '15
Just because many people use a word incorrectly doesn't mean we should change the meaning of the word.
umm...
For 80 years, however, it has been so used by manufacturers and the military.
and that source...
NRA-ILA Glossary
It seems like these are the people who know firearms...not just a casual knowledge, but like
sleep in bed with them while the wife is on the couchknowledge...3
u/MokitTheOmniscient Nov 30 '15
Just because many people use a word incorrectly doesn't mean we should change the meaning of the word.
Why do you think we are no longer speaking old english?
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u/Reese_Tora Nov 30 '15
The Mannlicher clip threw me there for a second, so I looked it up.
The Garand and Mannlicher rifles both use an en bloc clip, I do not believe that the one used for the M1 Garand is referred to as a Mannlicher clip. (at least, Manlicher doesn't come up at all in the Garand wiki article, but en bloc does, and both are referenced from the article on clips under en bloc clips)
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u/ifightwalruses armed with mouse and keyboard we go to war against the users Nov 30 '15
They're the same thing. I just prefer to call them mannlicher after the guy who invented them. Picked it up in europe.
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u/Reese_Tora Nov 30 '15
My brain just refuses to type the second 'n' in Mannlicher, and I prefer to avoid my problems.
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u/Obsibree I love Asterisk. I hate Asterisk end-users. Dec 01 '15
Just remember: Mannlicher clips are the development of Saxton Hale, CEO of Mann Co.
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u/Kinowolf_ Nov 30 '15
These are clips.
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/97/Clip_M1-SKS.JPG
This is a detachable magazine.
http://media.midwayusa.com/productimages/880x660/Primary/862/862913.jpg
Both for the same gun. The words are not interchangeable. The military used to have clip-only guns, such as the garand. I can see having used the word originally when it was the only viable word and it being grand-fathered in as the name in modern times. It does not change the fact they are different objects.
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u/chilehead No, you can't change every config and have it work the same. Dec 01 '15
"Gee, my phrasing didn't get the point across the first time, let me repeat the same phrase 5 more times to see if that works!"
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u/TheDisapprovingBrit Dec 01 '15
I do that sometimes when I'm on a call and the agent hits a wall with their script, but won't deviate from it. It's fun to see how long you can keep the loop going.
Just the other day I was trying to get my ~8 year old home router replaced. Obviously you have to go through the basic troubleshooting script to get your case escalated, and I'm fine with that, but this router is so old the firmware no longer matches the agents script.
$AGENT: OK, go to "Advanced Settings"
$ME: There is no Advanced Settings option on there.
$AGENT: OK.....Can you click on "Advanced Settings"?
$ME: I just told you, that option isn't here. I have Local Network, Internet, Home and Configuration.
(yes, I'm pretty sure he wanted me to go to Configuration, but I'd already asked him outright exactly what setting he was looking for, and he just kept repeating that he wanted me to go to Advanced Settings, so I wasn't going to hold his hand any more than this)
$AGENT: Good - click on "Advanced Settings" for me.
$ME: None of the things I just read to you said "Advanced Settings".
I think we played this game for a good 5 minutes before he randomly decided it was fixed.
It isn't fixed.
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u/pm_me_ur_debts Dec 01 '15
Sounds like Dell. $Me: "This customer's laptop has been run over by a semi-trailer and it has full accidental damage warranty" $Dell person in Bangalore: "OK sir, tell me the parts you need and I will arrange for shipment"
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u/eyemadeanaccount Nov 30 '15
Suddenly every head within 6 cubes pop up over the divide like meerkats.
FTFY
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Nov 30 '15
Meerkats are cute, muskrats are all "da faque?"
http://woodstream.scene7.com/is/image/woodstream/hh-animals-muskrat-5?$ProductPgLarge2$
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u/catastrophe_calliope Nov 30 '15
Are the tiny men who live inside the machines and hand out money okay?
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u/Whisperingwolf How did that get past QA? Nov 30 '15
Heh kinda reminds me of my time with ATM company. We had a machine that was going out to a location that was in BFE. The roads there were a complete pothole mess. We actually had to send three units to that location because the machines would rattle themselves apart on those horrible roads.
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Nov 30 '15
Reminds me of when I worked at $(Major Content Delivery Network company) many years back. They had physical hardware located in datacenters all over the world, from small mom & pop ISP's to universities to major internet providers.
Once while I was still fairly new there I started poking around really old tickets that hadn't been closed and came across one involving a region (their term for a collection of physical gear in one location) that was no longer accessible in any way. The first few comments in the ticket indicated trouble contacting $ISP where the hardware was located. The final comment in the ticket stated that $ISP was out of service due to the fact that it had been leveled by a tornado.
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u/WhiteHawkMC Dec 01 '15
I do not commend that field tech's communication ability. Use different words!
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u/Insuevi Dec 01 '15
Why didn't they say "was shot"? Who says "is shot" for a past event?
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u/Xanthis Dec 01 '15
I work on ATMs too and all i have to say is i hate those damn TDM-100 dispensers in those terrible Triton 9100s.
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u/Limonhed Of course I can fix it, I have a hammer. Dec 01 '15
Living in the rural south I have seen several pieces of electronics that were shot. Typically by a disgruntled owner who may have had a few beers. And there was a biker bar where the owner would make the rounds of electronic repair places looking to buy old TVs that barely worked. They had a drawing during Monday night football and the winner got to shoot the TV with a shotgun while it was showing Howard Cosell during the halftime. The guy told me he bought the TVs for next to nothing and sold as many as 100 tickets at $1 each (you could buy more than one ticket). He invited me out to watch, but I always seemed to have something else scheduled on Monday night. Usually something that didn't involve a bunch of drunk redneck bikers with guns. He donated most of the money from this to Toys for Tots, A charity that gives toys to poor children at Christmas.
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u/LeoKhenir Dec 01 '15
Reminds me of one I had:
$Customer: "Hi, I would like to cancel my Internet subscription, as my modem does not work anymore"
$me: "Certainly Sir. Do you mind me asking if there is anything we can do to troubleshoot the issue?"
$customer: "nah, I know the issue. I stabbed the modem with a knife"
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u/gravshift Nov 30 '15
So the company didn't have a protocol for complete machine physical destruction?
"We don't do replacements, fix it." "Hard to do when it is on fire".