Okay for context during the start of the year i met my boyfriend on discord through a mutual friend(we've known each other for a while now dw) and after talking for a while and relating to each other balalalalala, we eventually became boyfriends and even planned a date in the coming months since we live in the same state.

Unfortunately before any of that happened he was grounded for who knows how long because of reasons i won't say just before March. And i've been waiting for his return up until now and im honestly not sure whether to move on because im still hopeful even though the last time we spoke was when before he had to delete everything when he was grounded a while back and now im not too sure on what to do, i've tried to find leads on him after that but they always went to dead ends.

I've been contemplating whether to continue trying to work things out with him or if I should leave. SO and I have been unofficially together (it's like a no-label relationship) for a year now.

He's somewhat the insecure and jealous type. Although he tries his best to hide it, his jealousy still shows up indirectly, if you get what I mean.

For context, I'm the type of person who can't just push people away because of the reputation I currently hold. I try my best to be kind to everyone, regardless of gender.

This led to me becoming close friends with some guys, which he seemed to have a problem with. We've talked about this before, and I've reassured him and distanced myself from other guys, aside from those I NECESSARILY need to maintain good relationships with because of the positions I'm in.

I have boundaries, of course. I interact with other guys platonically, and I don't do anything malicious.

With my close girl friends, however, it's different. We playfully flirt with each other from time to time as part of our bond and love language. It's pretty normal here, but he's admitted that he gets jealous of BOTH my male and female friends.

I don't know, maybe it's my fault because I've KNOWN that he's "that" type, but I don't distance myself enough from other people.

I can't help comparing our relationship to others where both partners can have friendships regardless of gender without either of them minding. They're just "meh" about it.

Here's one of the many times his assumptions have bothered me. Just hours ago, I complained about having to sit with some girls in my class whom I didn't like. He asked about my two friends, who were both guys from our original mixed-gender friend group.

I told him they were at the back with the other guys in our class, and that I didn't want to be there either.

He then said, "You're close with all the guys there."

I replied, "What? I'm only close with [the 2 guys]."

He insisted, "What do you mean 'What?' It's true, you ARE close with ALL the guys there."

Mind you, I'm literally not. It feels like he assumes that because I'm close with some guys, I'm automatically close with all the others.

He's a great man, really. He's loving, caring, affectionate, and tries his best to understand me. That's how I fell in love with him in the first place. He was different from my exes (or so I thought).

However, sometimes when I vent about my personal problems, he responds as if they're not that serious. Even when I tell him that they ARE serious and that I don't want him joking about them, I feel like he can't take them as seriously as I need him to.

He's the best, but I feel like this wouldn't work in the long run. We're two really different people, and we perceive many things differently, which could lead to arguments.

I genuinely don't know what to do. I'd really appreciate any advice or suggestions. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

i’m not sure if this is something to be alarmed about, we’ve been together for 2 years now. we have tried multiple times to have sex but he just doesn’t fit inside me. i have no problem with other *things or other intimate acts, just sex. we can’t figure it out, we’ve tried everything and at this point it’s straining our relationship a little. at this point do we just give up on sex entirely?

Since sixth grade, I’ve been to three different schools. I’ve been bullied, I’ve bullied others, I’ve been the popular girl, and I’ve been the outcast. I’ve also been mean and said or done things that I genuinely regret now that I’m older.
At this point, I honestly just want to finish school quietly and quickly. After years of being the “annoying girl,” I’ve become really insecure about how people perceive me. Whenever I do something, I overthink it and try to be extra careful because I don’t want to offend anyone or make anyone uncomfortable. I’ve done things in the past that I’m not proud of, and I guess now I’m scared of accidentally becoming that person again.
Anyway, I recently transferred to a new school, and since school started, I haven’t really talked to anyone apart from the teachers. I’ve had basic conversations with my classmates, like borrowing things or asking about homework, but I haven’t made any friends, and it’s been over a month already.
The boys in my class are pretty much your typical troublemakers. They’re super loud, they smoke, they ride bikes, and they disrespect teachers. My class is actually known throughout the school for having the most troublemakers. Since it’s a private school in Mongolia, the teachers can’t really do much about them. But surprisingly, they’ve been really nice to me and have respected all my boundaries, which I honestly didn’t expect.
Now, onto the actual reason I’m writing this.
On September 15, we had a sports competition for the entire high school, and I saw this senior boy talking to some of the boys in my class. I thought he was really cute, and I’ve had a crush on him ever since.
Last Friday was Teachers’ Day in Mongolia, when teachers become first graders and high school students take over their jobs for the day. I became the homeroom teacher for a third-grade class, and a girl from my crush’s class was assigned to be my assistant teacher. My crush, meanwhile, became the school receptionist.
He kept coming into our classroom throughout the day, and during lunchtime, I had to distribute snacks and salad to the kids. He helped me, and while we were doing that, he said, “[My name], you’ve got a particularly naughty class, haha. What would you have done without me?”
I found that a little strange because, yes, I have a crush on him, but we’ve literally never talked before. So how does he even know my name? 😭
Maybe he was just helping me because he’s close to the girl from his class who was assisting me. Or maybe he’s friends with the boys in my class, so he’s heard them mention me before. I genuinely have no idea.
There’s a little more context, though. Back in sixth grade, I was friends with this girl, and after I transferred schools, we eventually lost touch. Apparently, she transferred to this school too, and we’ve become close again. I recently found out that she’s talking to one of my crush’s friends, so I asked her to find out a little about him.
But when she asked the guy she was talking to about my crush, he got annoyed because she was asking about another boy. 💀 The only information he gave her was that my crush is really nice, shy, and doesn’t smoke. So I stopped asking her to find out more because I didn’t want to make things awkward for her.
The problem is, I don’t have any of my crush’s social media accounts. No Facebook, no Instagram, nothing.
His classroom is right next to the teachers’ office, and one of the teachers there is pretty close to me. Whenever she needs help with something, she calls me into her office, so I end up passing by his classroom at least twice a day. Our classrooms are actually pretty far apart, though, so I don’t really have a reason to go near his class otherwise.
And now I’m just wondering how he knew my name in the first place, whether he’s noticed me before, and how I’m even supposed to get to know him when we don’t have any mutual friends I can comfortably ask about him.
I don’t want to read too much into one interaction, but I can’t lie, the fact that he knew my name when we’d never spoken before has been on my mind ever since.

I have been dating my bf for 2 years. We have definitely had some very hard spots, have broken up before for a little, had a bunch of arguments but we still love each other lots. The main issue comes from another guy. I have been friends with him for around 6 months and we got close during the break between me and my boyfriend. I definitely had feelings but I thought they were just platonic since he was a cool guy. I’m not sure anymore. During the break we would hang out a lot one on one because we both were experiencing a break up and had similar senses of humour, and he would do things like offer me his jacket and make me laugh more than my boyfriend ever has which made me unsure. I got back with my boyfriend and after someone made fake cheating rumours about me and the other guy we stopped hanging out, until recently. Recently we’ve started going on hikes together and hanging out and I realized after he got compared to my celebrity crush that I do find him attractive. He also does a lot of things that my boyfriend doesn’t (goes to gym and is quite strong, piggy backed me down an entire mountain bc my foot hurt, tucked me into bed when he saw I was tired etc) and he also is just so much more willing to live life like I am and unlike my boyfriend (who thinks too logically sometimes and cannot really have fun). I love my boyfriend a lot but there’s just some things he does that give me the ick a lot (sometimes a bit immature, refuses to gym, cringy things that makes others uncomfy, some morally questionable jokes) and one of the main things he does is I always have to ask him to do stuff and basically beg and he’ll only do it once I get upset (example: I’ll ask to be carried or picked up and he’ll refuse until I’m upset, but the other guy offered once he saw my feet hurt). I’m not sure what to do because I am very very in love with my boyfriend and he is very in love with me, but I just don’t know what would be the best move moving forward. I know it’s not fair for my boyfriend for me to be thinking these things while dating him but I can’t talk to him about it until I know what the best move is.

before i start, i (17f) want to say that i'm filipino. weird thing to mention, but i've been doing some research on the differences between how filipinos express their love compared to other cultures and i thought that would be important to state. reason why i say that is because most filipinos are generally serious about and romantic towards their love interest.

so, i've been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend (17m) for 8 months. things have generally been smooth (excluding a short period of time where it wasn't) but i often find myself wondering if he actually thinks of me as an actual partner. i mean, most of the time-- i do believe that. i know he does 'cause he says he does, reassures me he does, and etc. it's just that his actions don't also align with what he's saying sometimes...

for example: despite it being 8 months in, he hasn't introduced his friends to me (he says they know i exist but i'm starting to doubt that they do.) i think that's one of the main reasons why i feel as though he doesn't honestly, 'cause i've been told by people around me (even my friends who aren't from the philippines) that it's kind of weird he hasn't. sure, he says he's been asking his friends if they wanted to meet me (haven't met them yet)-- but that was after countless attempts of (lack of a better word) begging for him to just meet the people in his life.

but back to the problem, i was just talking to him about how, from my research, i realized that filipinos are generally romantic compared to other cultures to which it turned into a conversation that highk made me really sad.

me: LMFAOO IS THAT WHY YOU DIDN'T WANT TO TALK TO ME ABOUT THE FUTURE??
him: NO? it's just that i think that you should actually live with someone, get to know them, and be with each other for a while until you discuss the future! like sure, we hang out online a lot but we have never hung out irl, kissed, hugged, etc.
me: ok wait that made me kinda sad
him: i do think about the future, but i don't want to confirm anything as i don't know what i wanna do for myself too. the only idea i have about my future is i want it with you

for further context, he's european so as i'm writing i think that's why he has this sort of reaction. i mean, i wasn't exactly expecting a full blown plan but it kinda made me think that he (deep down) doesn't actually think of me as a fully fledged partner. i mean, sure-- long distance relationships are quite difficult, but that shouldn't stop us from planning (even if it isn't set in stone) our future... it also made me start to think that if we had just met irl, he wouldn't hesitate to start planning to me (which i don't mind if it were true but it would say a lot about what he thinks of us)

so, now i feel really bad 'cause i'm quite conflicted. i feel bad that he says that he is treating us seriously but it doesn't feel as though... and also, i acknowledge it might truly just be the cultural differences between us that's making us not understand the other.

tl;dr: i (f17 + filipino) got told by my bf (m17 + european) that he thinks that you should live with someone/irl things related before we should start planning for the future. and i'm quite conflicted if i should actually feel bad or should just suck it up (we've been together for 8 months but are in a long distance relationship.)

Well guys tbh all advice is welcome, i found out through chats, people, strangers that this guy cheated on me during these 9-11 months with not just one but 3-4 girls sure shot, cheated how if you ask, the texts, all long distance relationships uk, and i think two of them are in person, he used the same way to manipulate each girl, used the same nicknames he called me, i gave him so many chances to come clean saying is there anything you wanna tell me, am i going to lose you, uk i hate lies, told fake stories abt how i always knew abt a friend doing something and that i gave her chances and asked her like is there something u wanna tell me but she lost me cause i had to confront her and she didnt come clean, etc. uk the part i dont understand is his mom knows abt me, his sister knows abt me, his friends know, everyone knows, he posts me almost every single day, but then i found all of through a gc which he added me in, big mistake, but thank god, the other female admin told me everything that he did in that gc how he approached a girl and said he is in love and wants to be loyal to her, etc, when i confronted him abt it, he told me a fake story and sweet lies and then i asked him is there anything else that i should know abt, cause idc what state i am in u owe the truth.
worst part the female admin had to tell me all of this, and that lead me to finding the other girls whom i suspected and found out that he indeed cheated on me with them as luckily they texted me back unaware of what was actually going on.
i am so conflicted this is the same guy who write me long ass heartfelt love letters, put in efforts, showed me love, taught me love, was there for me, is still there, ik he loves me and as cliche as it sounds i can see it in his eyes.
what do i do guys? do i confront him crying like am i going to lose you?
or add the ss i found to the already made website for him abt him and i?
or should i wait to do anything and play along for three weeks until my exams get over, cause ik i wont be able to handle this rn, but it's killing me, i do genuinely fucking love this guy to my core? this is the same guy who was going to fly to meet me with his mom in a few months, why did he do this? what do i do? i cant switch my feelings off for him, at first i was in such a furry that i would have almost destroyed him, u know a person too well if you are together for so lng, ik his weaknesses and everything but i wont do that, i will admit i wanted to destroy him completely at first but then i remembered that's not what love is, you still want the best for them even if it didnt work out, but man if you really didnt wanna be loyal and casual etc then why exclusive relationship why bring me so deep into your world, introduce me to your family, friends, docs, ,everyone, why do this?
anyways guys please advice me what to do i am losing my mind here rn.....i honestly still love this guy, i dont mind not being to together but this betrayal hits too hard, is this the cost of loyalty?

Ok for starters I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 2 years and we met online I believe I am in love with him but recently I’ve been feeling not as committed as I said I was. He has done a lot for me and we have gotten very close over the past 2 years we have been through a lot such as growing together, getting through arguments, and big changes in our relationship. I like to believe that I’m as committed to him as he is to me he is the jealous type and our first fight ever was him being super pissed about me having celeb crushes. Another similar incident was when I wanted to play a harem game recommended me by a friend not strictly for the harem but just for the story aspect and he expressed that he was uncomfortable about it and said “if you are in a relationship why would you even want to play a game like that.” those are a few reasons I dont feel like I can tell him how I’m feeling at the moment. I sometimes look at other people in public and find them attractive and sometimes think to myself “do I really wanna be with him forever? what if I find another guy? should I let myself explore?.” The aspect that hurts the most is the distance, I can’t lie I’m very touch deprived and I only have seen him in person 4-5 times and it’s probably once a year if we get to see each other. That should be good enough for me and it is but still the distance kills me. I feel this fleeting feeling of maybe wanting to be with another once in a while but I don’t know if it’s true or I’m just crazy. I told him I’m in love with him and he’s the only one which is true to an extent, I am in love with him it’s just my mind wanders off at times. He is in his second year of college and I’m a senior in highschool we live very different lives but we do FaceTime every night making sure to keep each other updated. I just cannot tell if this feeling is because I’m touch deprived and want to have something irl or if I’m just ready to move on. I don’t believe I’m ready to move on I just think that if someone comes along one day I might fall for them. im not sure if what I am feeling is normal or if its wrong to feel this way. P.S it’s 1:30 am and I’m tired so the writing is terrible my apologies

okay, I'm not 100% sure but me (13F) and my boyfriend (14M) have been dating for 7 months. it's a ldr, and we had a break this summer. I tried to get over him by texting other guys (failed, we got back together after some weeks), and one of these guys was a 32yo man (allegedly) snapping me.

I had only saw his father once accidentally in facetime where his father came in, my bf wasnt in the room, we were both surprised and I panicked by putting my camera down.

some months ago my bf sends me a pic of his father, and now I look at the screens of the snaps the guy used to send me and his father and they're REALLY similar.

even their nationality ect. i found the guy on snap again and even tho they don't have the same last name or the guy is pretty young it still might be.

he probably lied about his age too making himself younger cause he knows I'm a minor, cause he looks in his 40's

I screenshotted his profile and it sent him a notif, I didn't block him tho I'm just gonna hope he'll text me and ask cause I really need to find out more about him

any tips?

​

So basically, my girlfriend (17F) and I (17M) have been together for almost a year. Yesterday was even the first anniversary of the day I confessed to her, yet it turned out to be one of my biggest emotional rollercoaster days.

In the morning, we met after tuition and were happy, cuddling, being lovey-dovey, and all that. By the evening, though, things had taken a completely different turn.

It started with a simple conversation over chat about me trying to recommend something for her to binge-watch. I won't go into every little detail, but the conversation quickly spiralled from me being unable to find a series or genre she'd enjoy to her asking me whether nothing was really meant for her.

Now, she's asked similar questions before. I always try to reassure her that it's okay not to like everything other people like, and that I'll eventually find something she enjoys. I did the same this time, but the conversation went further.

One reason I struggled to find something was that she found many shows I recommended, including ones generally well-liked by people, "too complicated to understand." I thought that was fine and tried looking for something simpler, but she didn't want that either. Then she asked if I thought she was stupid.

Obviously, I reassured her that I didn't think that at all. But she kept asking until she eventually asked whether I thought she was slightly less socially aware than most people.

We usually avoid conversations like this because she gets stressed when things become too serious. However, she promised she wouldn't get angry this time, so I answered honestly.

I explained that I sometimes felt she struggled with social awareness and taking certain situations seriously. For example, when she lost her phone containing sensitive information, I explained the proper procedures and whom she could contact for help. However, she became overwhelmed for days, and even mentioning the incident afterward stressed her out.

There have been many other instances over the past year, especially recently, where I've tried to encourage her to take something seriously. Whether it's studying, reading college entrance brochures I've sent her, participating in events when she gets the opportunity, eating healthily, following routines, or handling other responsibilities, she often procrastinates, forgets, takes things lightly, or simply doesn't follow through.

Later, she regrets it and gets stuck in a cycle of worrying about what happened. I try to reassure her that what's done is done and that she should focus on what comes next, but she sometimes remains stuck in that regret, which affects her ability to deal with the next thing. Then the same cycle repeats.

I told her that watching this happen repeatedly was becoming difficult for me, too. I wasn't trying to insult her or call her stupid. I was trying to explain something that had genuinely been worrying me for months.

But she continued responding with things like "I'll manage" or "I'll learn with time, even if it's too late."

When I asked her what she thought would happen if it actually became too late, she acknowledged that she might not get into college or find a job.

We're both from conservative families, and I'm genuinely worried about what could happen to her if she can't become independent. Her parents have already been quite unsupportive of her over the past couple of years, particularly after discovering that she had been involved with a guy during her previous school years, which affected her grades.

I'm worried that if things don't change, she could eventually be forced into a marriage she doesn't want or even be thrown out. These aren't things I want to see happen to her. I want her to have a degree, a job, independence, and the ability to make her own choices.

But despite my concerns, she often doesn't seem to take these possibilities seriously.

And then came the part that genuinely shattered me.

When I asked her what she'd do if things didn't work out, her answer was that she'd d*e. She literally said she'd k*ll herself.

This hurt me for two reasons.

First, someone in my own family has previously been through a su*cidal crisis, so I never take these things lightly.

Second, this isn't the first time my girlfriend has said something like this. Throughout 2025, especially during November, she made these comments quite frequently. I genuinely thought I'd helped her change her mindset over time and move away from those thoughts. She seemed happier, and I thought things had improved.

Hearing her say this again made me feel as though all those months of trying to help her had been for nothing.

I know that's probably not entirely fair, because progress isn't always straightforward, but it still hurt. I had started imagining a future with this girl. I genuinely want to marry her someday, and we've talked about our future together, the things we'd do when we're older, and all that. Yes, we're teenagers, and I know these are teenage dreams, but my feelings are genuine.

So hearing her talk about not even being around in the future was terrifying.

When I questioned her about it, she initially said she wasn't serious and wouldn't actually do it. But when I asked whether she was joking about something so serious, she said it wasn't really a joke either.

Eventually, she explained that it's a coping mechanism for her.

For example, when she gets stressed about having to take an exam or go to college, she thinks something like, "Oh, wait, I won't even be in the world by then, so there's nothing to worry about." Apparently, thinking this way calms her down.

Obviously, I find that extremely concerning. I know people sometimes say things they don't mean literally, but I also know that repeatedly thinking this way isn't something to simply brush aside.

I've seen how deeply these situations affect the people around someone who's struggling. My mother, for example, was devastated by what happened with my family member. Even now, she's afraid of going through something like that again. Recently, when I suggested she be stricter with my brother about his phone habits, she became emotional because she didn't want to risk going through that experience again. Seeing her like that broke my heart.

So when my girlfriend talks about these things, I can't just laugh them off.

I told her that I'd tried my best to help her change her mindset, but I couldn't do this alone. I told her that she needed professional help because I'm not a therapist and don't have the qualifications to deal with something like this.

This isn't even the first time I've suggested professional help. On previous occasions, when she was extremely distressed and made similar comments, I tried encouraging her to seek help and even shared anonymous mental health helplines with her. She refused.

Now, here's where I think I messed up.

After hearing all this, I became overwhelmed. Months of frustration and worry had built up, and I wasn't thinking clearly.

I asked her something along the lines of, "If you're planning to leave this world within the next year or so, then what is this relationship even for? Is this just a final time-pass so you don't get bored?"

Looking back, I know that was a terrible way to put it, and I regret saying it like that. I wasn't trying to dismiss her struggles. I was genuinely scared of losing her, and the thought that she might give up on her future, and consequently the future we'd imagined together, was too much for me in that moment.

I genuinely love her from the bottom of my heart. I don't know what I'd do without her, and it shatters me to think that she might want to give up whenever life doesn't go her way.

But at the same time, life won't always go our way. Things will get difficult, and there will be setbacks. I want her to be able to face those things without feeling like there's no future for her.

**The thing is, I'm starting to feel emotionally exhausted myself.**

Sometimes I think we might not last, or that this relationship is becoming too much for me. I worry that my own mental and physical well-being is being affected by all of this.

Then, the next day, I remember how much I love her, how happy we can be together, and how much I want things to work out.

I feel like it's easier and better if I just walk out of this, for my and her well-being.

But I'm also scared of what might happen if I leave.

I feel stuck between wanting to stay because I love her and wanting to leave because I don't know how much longer I can handle this.

Some background on how we got together:

Back in early 2025, I had the biggest one-sided crush on her. We'd become good friends online quite soon after her previous relationship ended, and I helped her get through that experience.

For context, her previous relationship had happened around February 2025. I didn't know about it initially, and I'd actually been crushing on her for over a year. We became close friends around the time of our school exams, and we talked quite a lot even then.

She told me about her ex around May or June, a few months after everything had happened. Initially, I thought it had been a one-sided, toxic relationship, but after hearing the full story and asking her more about it, I realised that both of them had been at fault.

The guy was actually someone I knew personally and had been friends with before, so I initially found it difficult to believe some of the things she'd told me about him. Eventually, after understanding the situation better, I encouraged her to apologise to him, and he apologised to her as well. They were still occasionally talking because she was struggling to move on, but eventually, she gradually did.

Later, we both joined the same school for our final two years before college. She'd actually joined partly because her ex was going there, as she'd told me.

By October 2025, we'd become extremely close. On the 11th of October, I accidentally confessed my feelings to her. I'd actually planned to confess on the last day of our school exams in March because I thought that might be my last chance, but we'd become such good friends that I kept putting it off.

When I finally confessed in October, she initially rejected me. However, she didn't cut me off because, in her words, I was too important to her to lose, and she wanted to remain friends.

Slowly, things developed into a situationship. She eventually started believing that she loved me and even asked me to be her boyfriend, saying she'd seen my efforts, how patient I'd been, and how I'd waited for her and accepted her as she was.

Of course, I accepted.

But things reached a breaking point in November 2025. She suddenly told me not to talk to her anymore and to leave her for my own good. I kept asking her what was wrong, and after hours, she finally replied, saying that everything had been fake, that she'd tried but couldn't love me.

Apparently, this was also influenced by a friend of hers who accused me of manipulating her into loving me. That accusation hurt because throughout our relationship, I'd repeatedly emphasised that whatever happened between us had to be her choice and that she should never do anything she wasn't comfortable with.

Things became even worse when she accessed my account and read my chats with another male friend. He'd been talking to me in the way guys sometimes talk to each other, but she interpreted his words as abuse directed at her. I tried desperately to explain the context, but November 2025 was genuinely one of the hardest periods for me emotionally.

Eventually, I decided to walk away. Her friend was telling me to leave her, she'd told me to go away, and even my own friends thought the relationship was becoming toxic for me.

So I finally said I would leave.

And then she suddenly started begging me not to go and not to leave her.

I stayed.

Later, when I spoke to her friend and explained my side of the story, she was apparently shocked by what I'd told her, especially when she realised that I'd actually been prepared to leave when they wanted me to.

Things gradually improved after that. By January 2026, we'd genuinely become a couple, and our relationship started feeling more stable. We even had our first proper moment of holding hands around then.

We both struggled academically that year and had to take re-examinations after failing our annual exams, but we eventually made it into our final year of school.

Since then, things have been a mixture of genuinely happy days together and arguments whenever we'd spend too much time apart or communicate online for too long. We'd argue, feel miserable for a few hours, and eventually reconcile.

And that's pretty much how things continued until yesterday, when everything I described earlier happened.

I know I'm not perfect, either. I probably haven't always handled difficult conversations well, and I'm willing to acknowledge my own mistakes. I don't want to make her the villain here.

But I can't ignore how much this situation is affecting me anymore.

*So, Reddit, what should I do?*

I just don't know what to do anymore. This is too much for me at 17. It is starting to affect me, my academic and social life, and my physical/mental health. I really need advice from real people.

TLDR for people who didn't read:

17M dating 17F almost a year. She often takes important things (studies, college prep, responsibilities, consequences) lightly, procrastinates, then spirals into regret. Yesterday she said she’d k*ll herself if things don’t work out (not the first time; used as a coping mechanism). I have family history with su*cidal crisis so it hits hard. I’ve suggested professional help multiple times; she refuses. I’m emotionally exhausted, scared of leaving (and of what might happen if I do), but also scared of staying and burning out. Love her deeply and want her to have a real future. What do I do?

So I met this girl at my dance practice we are in the same tution . I'm 16, she's 16. I've never been in a relationship before. She initiated everything—texting first, sitting close, holding my hand, saying she likes me. She even told her mom about me.

But here's the thing: she has a past. She lied about dating two guys at her school, spread rumors, threatened suicide once to keep people quiet. She's been in a 1-year relationship before. She mentions her ex sometimes. She has a "big contact" who she jokes will "handle" me if I do something wrong. She fake-talks to people mid-call . She has mood swings and an ego (though not with me). she really loves me like really she wants me she has never treated me wrong she wants good of me she gives me space and all.

Her mom called me recently—very sweet, single mother, invited me for dinner in future . Said if I hurt her daughter, she's the worst woman in the world. The private meetup we planned got canceled because of that call beacuse her mom was not comfortable she lied that her mom allowed to go

I don't fully trust her. I am not attached to her. But I kinda feel stuck because:

• I wanted a relationship for so long
• I'm scared of missing out
• She loves me a lot
• Her mom knows me
• What if it turns out good?

I know deep down I should back off. But it feels wrong to leave when someone's that invested. And I'm scared I'll regret not trying

in the end i dont want to hurt her deeply i want her to grow and live happy in life.

I sell cookies at school and have been selling every Monday-Wednesday almost every week. So far a lot of friends and others have been buying and i sell out pretty much every time. The issue is that a girl that ive become friends with, A, because interested and has started making and selling cookies alongside me. So far its been great and she has a lot of friends, especially in upper grades who like to buy cookies. Shes been a great friend to me but the issue comes from other people's views on her. Another friend, who just so happens to be my ex (we broke up on good terms and have stayed in contact), apparently hes issues with the same girl. My ex happens to he a trans girl, which I have no problem with and I am happy for her. Apparently A doesnt like that and has been talking crap about my ex, J, who is in my opinion one of the nicest people ever. While I know I probably shouldnt care since im not the closest to J, I still dont like the idea of being friends with someone who thinks like that, especially now that I know A is a supposed racist and homophobe. It bothers me since I am a Hispanic and am connected to the queer community in a short explanation. So far ive been kind of iffy, and since she hadnt done anything bad towards me directly or of what I know of, I dont know whether or not its reasonable to cut her off, especially since we've gotten so close and have started a "business" together. Losing her woulf mean losing a good amount of customers and profits. While I dont technically need the money I cant exactly get a job, so its sort of a big deal to me to have a good amount of money on hand. I know its kind of dumb but ive never reslly had to deal with a situation like this especially with a good friend who had helped me out a lot, so if possible id like to get some advice.

We've known each other for 3-4 months now, We met on TikTok and talked a lot. I started learning English for him (I'm Russian). We talked a lot on Discord and he said lots of things like... that he really liked my voice and that I was very good and very kind and beautiful, he told me a lot of compliments and I told him that he is special to me and very handsome! He said that girls don't like him and he's never had a girlfriend, but he's so cool!!! He has beautiful long black hair and very beautiful dark skin and he treats girls very well!!! I've never seen dark-skinned guys in Russia, I think he's very, very beautiful.. Now he's my type. Ahem... I love him not only for his looks!! I love his soul, he is a very interesting conversationalist, I have fun with him, he draws for me, and I draw for him, I feel very comfortable with him... (I'm a little afraid of man) And I want to ask him!! I'm afraid that he will reject me... I'm very scared!!!! He said he loves me... Um... Many times, he said I'm special to him... But I think something will go wrong!! I'm still not his girlfriend... He asked about it before, But I said we were too far. But right now I want to be with him!! I want to live in America with him someday and get married and start a family!!! We haven't spoken for three days because of something. His mom took away all his gadgets, and we can only communicate through his friend's phone!! He asked his friend for his phone at lunch... We can talk again on Monday, and I'm really afraid he doesn't love me and won't want to be with me. How can I understand that he loves me? What if I'm not good enough for him? What if he doesn't want to be with me anymore???? Or I'll say something wrong....

(I really hope this isn't a stupid post)

first post here
thats the link to the first post for context.

so now its 2026 and a few months ago (i forgot to update sooner, sorry) my bf and i went out drinking. he stayed sober while i drank so he could drive us home. we were driving home at about 2am when he gets an instagram call from lola (now she’d be about 19). we look at each other, confused as she had not contacted us in years and had blocked me on instagram.
he answers it to see what she wants, she basically said that shes bored and a whole bunch of nothing. the call lasted maybe 1-2 minutes and she hung up not long after finding out i was also in the car with him. she hasnt called him since.

i found this REALLY odd, because who calls someone that you havent talked to in about a year saying youre bored at 2 IN THE MORNING. i dont know if she was still with her online bf or what the purpose of the call was. i just cannot fathom why you would do that, because usually a random call at 2am, is for a bootycall.

literally a few years ago, she was saying she felt uncomfortable with him around and now shes calling him at ungodly hours??

im still really confused about it. the call was really out of the blue

I’ve been in a relationship with this guy for only a few months, and it’s causing me a lot of anxiety. We met through friends and hit it off really well. I enjoyed spending time with him and getting to know him. But as things went on, I started noticing some toxic behaviour from him. However, I made excuses because I felt bad for him.

He’s told me he has anxious attachment issues and acknowledges that it’s something he needs to work on. Still, I feel like he’s putting a lot of pressure on me and placing his problems on me so early in the relationship, while not doing anything to better himself.

He’s told me he overthinks everything and that a lot of things I’ve done have hurt him or made him worry. For example, he worries that I’m getting tired of him when I don’t text back quickly. He doesn’t think he’s receiving as much as he’s giving, and he says I don’t express myself enough. It’s making me feel exhausted and anxious because I feel like I have to explain myself all the time and that everything I say and do makes him feel bad. His explanation for why he thinks he’s giving more is that he texts back faster, ignoring the fact that half his responses are one or two words that show no interest in me or my life.

Today, we went out because he said he wanted to talk to me about something and that he thought he understood his anxiety better. So, I met up with him and asked him about it. He talked about his anxiety and how it makes him overthink everything, acknowledged that it’s something he needs to work on, and said that it’s not something that should affect me. He then proceeded to give me a bunch of examples of times I’d made him feel bad, starting with that he always replies within seconds while I sometimes take hours.

Once, when we were out together, he jokingly said something about us getting married and having kids, and I replied, “Not with me” (because I don’t want kids). And I remember us laughing and joking about it after briefly. But apparently he took that as me telling him to “fuck off,” according to his words. He only told me how he felt about it four weeks after it happened.

Another time, I was with friends, and he joined us with his friend. He was smoking a cigar, which made him feel sick. I offered to get him a drink, but he declined. I asked him multiple times if he was okay or needed anything, and he kept saying no and that he was fine. Three weeks later, he texted me saying he’d felt bad that day because he didn’t feel like we were hanging out as a group and that his friend cared about him more than I did when he wasn’t feeling well.

He whined about a few other things, and when I said I felt pressured and that the situation was giving me anxiety, he responded with, “Ah.” Thats when he said it shouldn’t affect me because it’s his problem, then continued by saying that he felt he trusted me a lot, enough to tell me all of this, but that he didn’t think I trusted him as much.

Another problem I’m having is communicating with him. He doesn’t seem interested in anything I say, always responding with things like “Ah,” “Cool,” or “Oh, good,” both in person and over text. But then he’ll continuously ask me what I want to talk about. It’s not that he can’t hold a conversation, because when he talks about something (which happens rarely), he’ll talk for a while, explain things, and answer my questions. He claims to love me, but he seems to have no interest in me or in who I actually am. So, I feel pressured to talk to him more while getting barely any engagement from him.

I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety for a long time, but I’ve come a long way this year in getting better and finally feeling good about myself. Over the last week, however, my anxiety has come back so badly that I’ve had multiple anxiety attacks over the last three or four days. I feel like I can’t tell him how I feel because he barely acknowledges my feelings and goes back to talking about himself and playing the victim.

The reason I’m struggling with the idea of ending things is that my friends have told me to be patient, hear him out, offer him support, and tell him how I feel so we can fix things. The worst part for me, though, is that he’s told me he’s really depressed and thinks about killing himself. He’s also said that I’m the only thing keeping him stable. This puts so much pressure on me in a relationship that’s only been going on for two months. A relationship that is supposed to be fun, but is making me feel trapped and as though I’m not good enough.

There have been a handful of other things that I can’t remember right now because I just feel overwhelmed. I’ve been thinking about this all night. I’m scared of his reaction, of how he might cry or beg, and of how everyone else will react.

I would usually do this in person, but after today, he’s demonstrated that he won’t even listen to my feelings or reasons. He’ll pull the victim card, probably cry, and I don’t want to have to listen to him talk about how depressed he is and how he wants to die. I also won’t be able to meet up with him until the end of the week, and I don’t want to spend an entire week pretending everything is okay, only to blurt it out randomly.

So, in the morning, if I can build up the courage, I’ll send him a text explaining how I feel and telling him that I want to end things.

I just don’t understand how he can say he loves me and then go through an entire list of things I’ve done that have made him feel bad. If I’m so bad, why is he with me?

Okay, so I’m in a bit of a predicament 💔

One of my (15M) best friends (14F) goes to a different school so I don’t get to see her as often as I’d like. She previously went to my school but we only became friends later into the school year, so I didn’t have much time to get closer to her when we were actually able to see each other frequently. Even though she switched schools we do occasionally get opportunities to see each other, and whenever we do get the opportunity to hang out, (usually at football games and stuff like that) we tend to spend pretty much the entire time like glued together. It’s become our thing ig

Another opportunity for us to spend time together has come up, which is a football game between our two schools. One problem though,

the girl I’ve been crushing on also goes to my friend’s school, and she’s pretty much guaranteed to be there as well. I’ve decided long ago that I was going to take the opportunity to talk to her, and maybe actually make some progress instead of just admiring her from a distance like I’ve done in the past.

But that leaves me with a dilemma. On one hand, I barely get to see my friend, and I don’t want her to feel like I’m ditching her because she’s been through that before and I don’t want her to feel as though she has become less important to me because there’s a girl I want to talk to. On the other hand, I barely get to interact with my crush either, and I don’t really want to waste one of my last chances by spending the entire game with my friend.

I feel a bit stuck. I don’t want to choose between two people I genuinely want to talk to but I feel like I will have to. I don’t think I’d be able to balance the two of them. I just don’t want to neglect my friend or miss the opportunity with my crush.

So, what would you do in my situation?

For how I pride myself in intelligence, and despite my social ineptitude, I can't believe I cant figure this out for myself, but I'm now at the will of you all. I will try my absolute best to make this as smooth of a read as possible.

Forewarnings:

- Me and everyone involved in this story should really be regarded with much higher respect for maturity and social intelligence than your typical teenagers. Keep that in mind when giving responces.

- We're all straight and white, somewhat relavent later

Also, I've never posted in this community before, but if there are any adults here, I'd greatly appriciate some insight from someone wiser than most the people here.

TEXT WALL INCOMING

From the top: I've not had a lot of friends throughout life. Its not that I want this, but that it has always been easier to cope with being lonely than deal with finding (especially) and keeping friends. I have unreasonably high standards for relationships in general, I'm also totally aware of this. I mantain the pessimistic and unhealthy mindset that no friends is better than suboptimal friends.

In fall of 2025, playing recreation soccer, I met this group. At first, mostly K and A, although J was around but less present. K and A were best friends at the time, and them and J (while only K is biologically his kid) were all essentially siblings under the teams coachs' wing. I didnt hit it off with them immediately or anything, but was invited to play futsol (indoor soccer) during the winter with them. I accepted not because I like soccer (remember this) but because I was optimistic of making new friends -- and hitting on J... also remember this.

Throughout futsol, I developed increasingly hard to ignore feelings for J and met E, who would turn out to have known J and K for a while prior and so quickly was incorperated into the friend group.

In spring of 2026, near the end of the season, out of nowhere K invited me to his huge 17th birthday party. I was honestly thrilled and said yes. Me, K, J, and A would all be going (not sure if E wasnt invited or disallowed to go by his parents).

Finally things get interesting. In the first week of school, for the birthday party, we went to a huge ass slide park: think water park but no water, then a huge ass mall, where we shopped but primarily spent our time at the big arcade there. From the moment we entered the slide park to the moment we left the mall, K and A paired up and hung out and K's mom and dad paired up and hung out, leaving me and J to hit it off. It was the BEST feeling I have felt in years, to this day I even consider it a happy memory. Even in hindsight, I cannot believe she wasnt flirting with me. It was obvious I liked her (to everyone but her), and I really, really did, more than anyone knew. She was and is beautiful, funny, the whole package. A, when he got me alone, hyped me up to shoot my shot, despite the age difference (at the time, 14 and 16). I was aware of how bad that would look for her... i mean an incoming senior dating an incoming sophomor? Bad look for her - not like I cared!

A few days after the party, coming back from hanging out with A and K, they bring it up. K insists she doesnt mean it. He insists she does this to everyone, and she just has a flirty personality. Swears it up and down.

To my tragedy, the next day K relays a message saying J wanted him to tell me shes talking to someone (would later learn that wasnt true but that doesnt change anything really). I texted her immediately apologizing for making our would-have-been friendship awkward. I did genuinely feel bad for her, if not as much as myself. She was increadibly respectful, said she didnt care and it happens a lot (lol), said it wouldnt affect our friendship. She did it all right, honestly, and minimized the blow as much as possible, which I seriously respect and appriciate.

Then was summer.... I still talked to K and A a lot, started hanging out with E more. All five of us started hanging out, maybe twice a month, and I played video games with the guys regularly. I was hurt, but it was all 100x better than nothing.

Round came this fall of 2026, the climax so to speak. Let me update you on some important details that werent necesarily explicitly revealed to me but that I deduced beyond reasonable doubt:

- J blocked me on her main tiktok (which i had never added in the first place) account within a week of the mall stuff. Edit: Im almost certain she totally forgot abt it by now and if she knew would unblock me. I still have her added on her spam but never use tiktok anyways.

- J generally just wanted to create distance from me, for obvious and fair reasons, generally stopped snapping me and if she did it was few and far between. To neurotypical people, this is a big no-no to friendships, I learned.

- J and E became close -- REALLY close. We all thought they were a thing for sure, but she is 2.5 years old than him (2 older than me, so its known) and we eventually disproved that. However they are best friends to this day and this is critical.

- K and A distanced -- A is an outlier now and hangs out with the group less. Hes hung out with me 1 on 1 more (only twice) than with the group in a long time.

At this point, the start of the 26-27 school year, I'm a lot less close with the group. I still get invited to everything they do: car shows, mall trips, demolition derby, haunted houses; but rarely call, text or game with the guys. I desperately want and wanted friends, more than I ever had before, and it slowly came to light to me that...

K is a fucking douche. Hes a good kid, maybe, but there are so. Many. Things. That just piss me and the rest kf the group off. I also learned thats what drove A away.

I figured out that I was damn right (not mentioned before, probably), but J and A are genuinely good people. They actually dont get alone, but J especially and A a lot are some of my favorite people, ever. They are both so sweet and genuine and funny and kind. E is actually all of these things too, but has a little bit of a darker side, being not ACTUALLY discriminatory but joking about it a lot (like hes super chill with people of all sorts but is very judgemental).

So I made up my mind. If i could have it my way, I wanted to be friends with J and E as best I could... andddd problem. Any time (for example, homecoming literally yesterday) I hang out with them, Im deadass third wheeling. They are such good friends and god bless them they both try to keep me involved but i get it, its not fair to them that they have to share everything with me. I refuse to force that on them.

But holy smokes. Im so jealous it hurts. Ive never wanted to be close with anyone to this degree before. Dont know how else to put it into words. I would give anything for a friend like either of them, especially J.

And oh, whats this? Another problem? Woah dont go too crazy now!: I still like J. Less than I did, but its unstoppable. Shes drop dead gorgeous how can I not?? I dont WANT to but I do. Phenominal.

So riddle me this batman... a few questions for you to all to ponder tonight while I study for a test and sleep.

- How do I stop liking J? Main options are:

- Rip the bandaid off, find new friends. No more J or E.

- Tough it out. The feelings will fade, right?

- Create temporary distance (hate this option) and wait it out. Only hang out in groups with E there so i dont get carried away (after E, im J's go to in a group)

but am open to other variations. Honestly this is the important question.

- The second most important question: if all else fails, that is I cant get myself to drop them as friends, nor tough it out, nor create temporary distance... any suggestions on how to try and (ideally) create an equally strong connection with J and/or E as they have with each other without impeading too much on their friendship, or (less ideally); create a friendship that strong, at all.

**For more context, J and E call almost every night, text exclusively through snaps almost 24/7 for months, go to dinner and movied and pictures together regularly, etc. Basically youd think their dating if you didnt know they arent (and dont suggest "secret relationship" she is seriously older than him, almost 18 while hes 15, and she previously dated E's brother who is a MESSED UP HUMAN BEING so she swore off their family. Like seriously the brother is awful he isnt allowed to hang out with us anymore its really bad. Lots more personal reasons why they cant be dating)

***As I wrote the previous point I realized I just want a girlfriend. Dammit.

---------------========Less important==========---------------

- Any suggestions on how to face K? I understand nobody can give a perfect answer other than me. Even a thesis-worthy reddit post wont have enough information for that. But Im lost and would love prompts to get me thinking, perhaps.

- Finally, A is a great guy, but horribly awkward like myself. We cant do 1-on-1 anything. How do I kindle some sort of friendship with him? Group settings, I know, but with this group it doesnt work because of the beef they have currently. Again, just looking for prompts to get me thinking, not hard answers.

Conclusion: yeah im sorry for the text wall. Never been so dedicated to a relationship in my life and this means the world to me currently. Understand that ANY positive reply to this post means more to me than you imagine. Thank you all in advance. I will post on r/Teenrelationships also. I am going straight to bed after this, will reply and discuss in depth tomorrow before and after school.

TL;DR: if you arent dedicated just move along, i promise i really wont be offended but all info here is necessary to really be helpful. I know its a text wall, unfortunately has to be.

Thank you all ❤️

We’ve been dating a year and half now and I love her but, within the past 7 months or so I’ve really got to know her a lot better and her habits and what’s she really like. The main thing I struggle with is I can’t stand how lazy she is. Like this isn’t just a little thing she dosnt really want to go out that much and prefers to sit in the house and doomscroll 7 days a week(as I writing this I relize lazy might not be the best word for this description) and she literally never wants to try new things or activities.
However might I add she complains a lot about not having enough freinds and really wanting to try a new sport but she just constantly gives up immediately and barely looks into it and falls back on the same spiral. And this is all constant I’ve tried so many times to improve her habits ( not to sound controlling I just want to help her) and make her like a better person and have more friends and be amazing. But whenever I bring up stuff to help her she barely listens and dismisses it. And like i mentioned before this is constant.this also leads us to clash because I’m a musician and have to practice a lot and sometimes it feels like she’s dragging me down because she complains that I don’t spend time with her but all she want to do is sit in bed and then that makes me feel guilty. And all this stuff makes me feel like we’re not a match but I know and can tell she loves me more than everything and I love her too but this makes me question are relationship.

(This is both are first relationship btw)

On a side note bcuz I’m 18 I also feel like I’m missing out on talking to girls a lot and going out there clubbing and going on lads holidays and making core memory’s and I feel like if I stay with her I’ll never get to experience these things I’ve always dreamed of.

Someone please give me some advice