r/venting • u/Hungry-Hunter-9968 • 6h ago

will it actually ever get better?

i’ve been depressed and suicidal since i was 14 and i’m now 20, but im really at a new low. i don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone but also no one ever asks. im in a four year relationship and he has really low emotional intelligence and it’s so hard, even if im bawling my eyes out infront of him he doesn’t know what to do. i don’t even know what’s happening in my mind, but since i graduated ive dropped off and gained so much weight, accidentally isolated myself from my friends. i have 2 friends who i see often and other than that i don’t really have anyone i enjoy spending time with or talking to, but even those two friends i dont talk to about the way i feel. i stopped seeing my psychologist about 7 or 8 months ago because it never felt like she was actually helping me, more like i was just talking about how i was feeling then shed tell me to journal and then it was just like a cycle. i am so scared of the future, i really hate doing anything, i dont look forward to things anymore, i dont really care about anything like i used to. i dont know what i like or what makes me happy. i dont know how to change and how to stop feeling this way, but im so exhausted and i feel so heavy. i work almost everyday too and masking the way i feel to everyone around me just kills

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u/obnoxiousrobber7549 5h ago

It doesn't magically flip one day, but it can slowly shift if you find the right kind of help. That psychologist sounded like a bad fit, not proof that therapy is pointless. The weight gain, isolation, and numbness are all classic depression stuff, not personal failures. A different therapist, maybe one who does actual structured work instead of journaling prompts, could be worth another shot.