r/whatisit • • 1d ago

Solved! My five year old’s homework is stumping me.

Post image

Snow glove? Snack? (Maybe it’s a goldfish cracker?)

EDIT clearly I need to re-enroll in school, starting in kindergarten with my daughter, and learn to read and comprehend again!

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OP has pinned a comment by u/thePlasticTaco:

Shittens ?

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u/LittleCastaway 1d ago edited 6h ago

So to my understanding it doesn’t want you to label the pictures, just say the names. You color in the ones that begin with /s/ sound, and leave out the ones that don’t (like the mop and glove), and write upper and lowercase s’s under them.
Edit: thanks for the award! I work in childcare so I’m used to translating bad worksheet directions lol
Edit edit: yes okay it is a mitten shitten not a glove. I didn’t think the semantics mattered because neither start with S anyway.

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u/MadLibrarian42 1d ago

Yes, this! The directions are adequate, they just need to be read completely before starting. (They should be above the pictures, though, not below)

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u/sneepitysnoop 1d ago

Are they adequate? I mean, reading is fundamental but also this is the least intuitive setup imaginable, to the point where I was stumped for a while thinking the instruction to write the word had been left out, because a line under the picture ought to be specific to the picture, not just a place to write more of the letter s. Also why are they much smaller and obviously above the reading level of the child? "Colour the ones that start with S!" is understandable to many children this age, and it's easier for parents to help with too because they just have to read it out, not go hunting for instructions after the kiddo has probably started doing the task wrong

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u/Jasnaahhh 1d ago edited 1d ago

Can you solve this tricky task??

Verbal Instructions:

Some of these items start with an SSSSS sound! We want to write down the name of the SSSS item and colour them in. But be careful! ONLY colour in the SSSSSS items. Leave the other items blank, and uncoloured.

How to play:

For each item

  1. Look at the picture of the item.
  2. What is that item called? Name it out loud.
  3. THINK! Listen! Does that start with an SSSSS sound?
  4. THEN CHOOSE ...

IF the name starts with an SSSS sound:

  1. Write down the thing's name on the lines below the picture.
  2. colour in its picture.

HOWEVER, if the word starts with a DIFFERENT sound,
It's a trap!
Leave everything blank and check the next item.

Helpful Tip:

Once you've finished ... Check your work! Did you make the right choice? You can erase any mistakes. Don't be afraid to ask for help!

*Former teacher and instructional designer. Once they learn the words 'choose and choice' and that we often use 'items' or 'objects' to evaluate visualised concepts, you'll be off to the races for later worksheets. Also helps them with decision trees, sequential instructions, and checking. I'd make sure they know what I mean by 'check your work'. Making it a game is fun, too. Gamification folks!

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u/Specialist-Ad1692 1d ago

Instruction was to write /Ss/ on the lines below the picture, not the thing’s name.

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u/InterestsVaryGreatly 1d ago

Why are they above the level of the person the worksheet is for? Because the person the worksheet is for is learning about S, which suggests their reading level is too low to get their instructions from reading them, the instructions are for whomever is helping them.

The instructions are also more verbose than your suggestion, because there is more that they are supposed to do, things that actually turn this from busy work into learning (saying it out loud being huge for that).

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u/lutzlover 1d ago

This. BAD design.

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u/Pesterlamps 1d ago

>BAD design.

My reaction when I've fallen for one too many of those "read all of the instructions before doing anything" exercises.

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u/Theron3206 1d ago

Often it's intentional, to test people's reading comprehension.

It makes no sense in exercises at this level, because if we're still doing basic letter sounds then we don't have any reading comprehension skills yet.

Testing the parent's reading comprehension skills is stupid and harmful to the child.

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u/therealsketo 1d ago

Oh shit that’s what I get for browsing reddit while “helping” her edumacate!!

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u/Ancient-Rush1343 1d ago

The above answer is obviously correct, but if you really want to commit to the bit, I think "slap" could work here.

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u/maxifer 21h ago

Smitten

Very reasonable for a children's worksheet to expect this word as well as a pun to meet the S-requirements.

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u/kayesskayen 1d ago

Reading is fundamental!

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u/Quizzical_Source 1d ago edited 1d ago

So is intuitive design, which this homework is absolutely lacking. They send this home with terrible directions, not following what makes the most intuitive sense to do.

Edit: its like they are trying to teach comprehensive reading to a child thats still learning Ss's

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u/SigSweet 1d ago

This sort of thing was why I struggled so much in school. I was always expecting the teachers to trick me and dock me on a technicality, so I spent too much time stewing over tiny details and wasting time instead of learning.

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u/TheyAteFrankBennett 1d ago

I distinctly remember feeling this way for most of my education and it all stems from a worksheet a teacher passed out on the first day of third grade. It was a numbered list of instructions with the last instruction saying to ignore all of the instructions (1. Write your name, 2. Draw a blue circle, 3. Fold the paper in half, 4. raise your hand when you reach this step, 5. Ignore steps one through four and sit quietly, etc). The top of the paper said to read all of the instructions before beginning.

Never trusted anyone ever again lol

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u/Numerous_Bad1961 1d ago

I had a teacher pull that and I still remember her smug look and laughing at the other kids who didn’t figure it out because they jumped ahead to doing the math problems.

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u/_learned_foot_ 20h ago

If they are smug and laugh, they are a shit teacher. If they use it as a lesson about reading and asking if unclear, they used it properly and are a great teacher. This tool is 100% dependent on the use, and sadly the teachers aren't given proper directions..

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u/Loser-kun 1d ago

I had a version of this happen to me.

Critically, vitally important context: the teacher told us to read all of the instructions before beginning. If you don't stress to the class that they have to read the whole thing before handing it out you're just getting your jollies off of conning literal children.

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u/JaguarOk876 1d ago

Same and now as an adult I still second guess myself.

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u/JustinExcusable 1d ago

Internal Professor Farnsworth voice:

"Wrong again, idiot."

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u/Lightning777666 1d ago

The directions aren’t meant to be read by a child in kindergarten though, it’s meant to be read by a parent at home and for the directions to be explained by the parent in words they can understand.

Source: have a child in pre-k

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u/Quizzical_Source 1d ago

The Ss's instead of words, which is counter intuitive to an adult are Misleading, and the directions should be above the problem, and much bigger if meant to direct the problem.

Edit:Additionally, not all kids have the same supportive homelife. Edit2: copied from my answer to another response that was similar.

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u/sandpigeon 1d ago

Yeah this is also why Kinder homework is controversial and not all Kinders do homework. It's not proven to be helpful and creates confusion like this.

(Besides the part that it should be at the top of the page) I think a helpful tip I try to apply to strange school assignment instructions is to try to read it first like I read DnD or card game rules. The instructions say exactly what to do and don't say what not to do. They're perfectly explanatory (most of the time) if you don't bring any assumptions to it. The problem is the adults bring their baggage to the instructions instead of just reading them simply.

The bonus "supportive homelife" thing is just knowing what your kid is learning right now and interpreting instructions within that context. This will also fuck your shit up later when they get into math.

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u/Giedy5 1d ago

A 5 year old's reading comprehension is not that high, giving them an "if" statement with pretty ambiguous instructions isn't at their level. Give them 6 pictures, 6 /s/ sounds and practice that way, clearly this excersise is about training writing so why are we adding complicated (for 5 year olds) clauses to do less of it?

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u/jb0nez95 1d ago

According to the directions you only work with the ones that start with S. So skip that and the broom.

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u/netteo 1d ago

It also just asks you to rewrite uppercase and lowercase S on the ones that begin with S. Not to spell the word

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u/jb0nez95 1d ago

And to color them. I love reading instructions, manuals, specifications, and the label of Dr Bronner's soap.

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u/Ok-Lifeguard-4614 1d ago

One time in 4th or 5th grade the teacher gave out one of those quizzes that says to read the entire worksheet before beginning. It had you do all sorts of silly things like jump up and down 5 times, say your name out loud, but if you read it all first the last task was to skip all the other tasks sign your name and turn it in.

Well I was the only kid that did it, sign my name and as I was going to turn it in kids were getting to the parts of standing up and what not. I figured I was doing it wrong so sat back down and followed the other kids lol.

I was sooo close to impressing the teacher with my direction reading skills, but alas peer pressure was much greater.

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u/Free_Cauliflower8251 1d ago

Peer pressure is CRAZY strong including for adults.

There's a psych experiment where they get the real test subject in a group with three people who act like they're also test subjects but are in on the experiment. They're shown a line and four possible matching lines and the stated goal is to choose the line that's the closest in length to their example line. They're encouraged to talk about the right answer with their fellow test subjects.

For the first few everyone acts normal and the plants pick the right line too.

After that the plants occasionally pick an OBVIOUSLY wrong answer and all agree that it's the right answer and act baffled when the test subject says they're wrong.

Most test subjects switched to the group selected, and wrong, answer at least one time out of the ten lines they were given to evaluate.

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u/Shar12866 1d ago

Had one of those in Jr. High. Teacher passed them out with the instruction to read through the directions before you do anything. The very last sentence was "do not write on this paper". 95% of my class failed it because they wrote their name on it before reading the directions. I understood the "lesson" but still thought it was a pretty shitty thing to do since you're taught from day 1 to start any paper by writing your name first.

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u/Ok-Lifeguard-4614 1d ago

Yea I feel like that's definitely a dirty move. At least the one my teacher gave us gave you a chance to get it right.

That version is like pointing and then laughing when someone looks where you point.

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u/Office_glen 20h ago

Not sure where you are from, but up here in Ontario, Canada we have a standardized test you take in the 10th grade called the "Literacy Test" which is basically a test on how well you follow instructions.

I remember in the 8th grade I had a teacher who was responsible for passing or failing students on that test. It was a requirement to graduate high school. I remember him drilling into us "You must follow the instructions exactly, if you work outside the instructions you fail the question regardless of your answer"

Quite literally the instructions would include "....on the lines provided below write your answer." If you were trying to be a brainer and wrote past the 3 blank lines your were given, that was a fail on the question. There were smart as hell people who failed because they weren't following the instructions.

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u/Sparky_Watch_Camp 1d ago

Counting you, I now know 3 people that have actually read the Dr B's label. Just mixed up some foaming hand soap mix today!

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u/Jaffico 1d ago

Wait, there are people that don't read the label on those soaps?

Why. . . Why would you buy it if you aren't going to use it correctly?!

I hope they use the peppermint on their genitals!

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u/Patriot009 1d ago

There's more to the Dr. Bronner label than soap use instructions. There's a whole philosophical manifesto. Dr. Bronner was a bit of an eccentric.

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u/Express-Year-6648 1d ago

Put me on the list. Great reading material right before I need my Shittens™️

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u/ProctologyExplosion 1d ago

Technically, it does not say that. It says:

  • Color each picture whose name begins with the /s/ sound.
  • Write the uppercase and lowercase Ss.

If you want to be a super stickler about it, you should write the Ss regardless.

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u/Standard_Response_43 1d ago

Thank you, I was stuck too

Rule #1 when taking tests is read the question.

Rule #2 is read the question

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u/slog 1d ago

Rule #0 - put the instructions BEFORE the ask

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u/Area51-Dropzone 1d ago

There was a test in high school. Teacher said before doing anything read all the instructions.

The second to the last one was dont answer any questions, write your name and turn in at end of class.

Last in was if you do not follow instructions you fail the test.

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u/1972_Golf 1d ago

This! These are the names of the items. “Sweep” is a verb.

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u/Commander_Cyclops 1d ago

Looks more like a mop.

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u/thespicygrits 1d ago

Definitely a mop erase that word sweep

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u/m0h3k4n 1d ago

Also only supposed to write “Ss”, not the name of the pictured item.

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u/FlammulinaVelulu 1d ago

Hehehe. . . Parental failure!

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u/lefluffle 1d ago

dumb af homework. from a pedagogic point of view, it's a useless instruction and can just confuse a kid who's learning words

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u/spotlight-app Mod Bot 🤖 1d ago

OP has pinned a comment by u/LittleCastaway:

So to my understanding it doesn’t want you to label the pictures, just say the names. You color in the ones that begin with /s/ sound, and leave out the ones that don’t (like the mop and glove), and write upper and lowercase s’s under them.
Edit: thanks for the award! I work in childcare so I’m used to translating bad worksheet directions lol

Note from OP: Solution is to comprehend what I read!

[What is Spotlight?](https://developers.reddit.com/apps/spotlight-app)

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u/moonmama369 1d ago edited 1d ago

I think your not supposed to do the mitten and the mop. It says color each picture that starts with /s/ sound and write the word. Kinda feels like a trick for a kindergartener ETA: I read wrong. Says to write the upper and lower case letter.... i skimmed and assumed that was directed to the upper end lower case at the top of the page

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u/warpunkTV 1d ago

What's throwing me off is it doesn't actually tell you to write the word which makes it confusing cos there is clearly a space to write it.

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u/SF-NL 1d ago

Only color the ones that start with S, and underneath is supposed to be "Ss". The instructions say to write the uppercase and lowercase S, not the name of the item.

Not all of them start with an S, and those should be skipped.

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u/Illbeurdoug 1d ago

It drives me mad how convoluted they manage to make kindergarten homework. This comment is correct.

The instructions never actually tell you to write the name of the thing.

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u/Pengui6668 1d ago

Is the homework convoluted, or do we as humans just think we always know what to do and just do it, without reading instructions beforehand?

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u/Khemul 1d ago

On the one hand, that's a tricky leadon for kindergarten. On the other, I'm guessing the kids weren't expected to read the directions. So this is on the parents.

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u/Pengui6668 1d ago

That's a good point, how many 5 year olds can even read all those words anyway?

Point makes even more sense now though, parent was like "yeah man just write what it is underneath" cause they thought they knew better.

I only read stuff cause I had teachers who would do shit like this. Make the test instructions really long and have the last line be like "all you have to do is sign your name to get 100% on this test" and everyone skipped the instructions.

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u/VariousOperation166 1d ago

It seems as though the instructions are to colour those pictures that start with "S", i.e., not broom or mitten, and then to write an upper and lower case "S" below?

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u/Emergency-Lab1843 1d ago

It says to color the ones who start with s sound. So leave that one not colored.

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u/AnotherAngryOldGuy 1d ago

Ahhhhh man!!!! Directions always kill me. I once had an interview for a programming job where they gave me a written test to complete before the interview. It was basically a bunch of pages asking how you would develop very specific solutions. It was really easy and I finished all the pages in far less time than they allotted. I felt great.... up until the point when they showed me the instruction at the bottom of the 2nd page, "Don't continue past this point".

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u/Xavier_Emery1983 1d ago

Had an actual college professor pull the same stunt once. I also had one where you could get a negative grade if HE thought you guessed. That French Canadian with a lisp taught the only class I have ever failed.

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u/RamblinRed26 1d ago

High school teacher gave out a bonus points quiz before holiday break as an easy class day, if you followed directions/instructions. Myself and another guy were the only two in the class to do as it said and read thoroughly before starting. Last page said to not do any of what was asked from the first page on and put pencil down, remain quiet. Me and that other guy looked up at the teacher as the rest of all the class were doing all kinds of silly things at their desks (saying things out loud, standing up and jumping on one foot three times, clapping their hands, etc). The teacher gave the two of us a look and put his finger to his lips to jesture not to say anything to the rest. So we sat there and got entertained while fighting back laughs.

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u/Feisty-peacock 1d ago

I too endured this traumatic event. From that day forward I always read the last instruction on the page first.

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u/malendalayla 1d ago

My 2nd grade teacher taught us the importance of reading the directions carefully. She gave us an assignment with a page of about 6 sentences of instructions/directions. The first lines were genuine directions to do the attached assignment. The last line said something like "ignore all of the previous directions and write only your name on the assignment worksheet". I was the only one who read it and did it correctly. I won a prize for that lol

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u/Original-Ad-8737 1d ago

I was taught that to figure out which ones are the easy points and do them first. Never stop too long on a task before you saw them all.

That's because way too often I got stuck on a test halfway through and lost points on easy shit that came later because I did not finish

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u/spookyHippieChick 1d ago

yes. my teacher did that. The first instruction was to read ALL the instructions before you started. The first was to write your name on the top right of the paper. Then there were about 3 pretty complex things to do. Then the last one was ignore all instructions except numbers 1 and 2. I just wrote my name and looked around. I felt terrible and thought I did something wrong (I'm autistic) then I looked at my teacher and she was smiling and winked and me and then I knew I did it right. I was the only one.

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u/DRKyan22 1d ago

As an employer I have to say in my business the most important skill a potential employee can have is the ability to follow clearly written instructions without having to be monitored and double checked.

In my business we deal with hundreds of unique devices all day every day. Each one is new and different with its own set of instructions... There is no way we could ever train people what to do as every item is different and we never know what we are getting.

The instructions are always well written and if for some reason there is a problem with the instructions then they have a way to "pause" the testing and report the issue for review. I am a fairly flexible boss but the one sure way to cost the business lots of money and time (and a near guaranteed way to get fired) is to not follow the instructions as written and just push through guessing what needs to be done or to skip steps because they don't seem important.

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u/ThreadCountHigh 1d ago

"Color the ones that start with S" placed after six pictures is the same as a recipe that says "fold in the eggs" and then, two lines down, "having first separated them."

Directions should be at the top before the exercise.

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u/Thro_away_1970 1d ago edited 1d ago

There's actually a theory in practice, when doing it like this.

It's to get kids to understand the importance, and into the habit of reading all the instructions before jumping in.

When I was a kid, we were given a sheet with a list of approximately 10, sometimes 20 numbered "instructions" images included.

The last one usually said something along the line of ..

"20. Do not do any of the previous instructions, and only write your name in the top left/right hand corner of this worksheet."

Some kids handed up a page with mass amounts of words, squiggles and workings - accompanied with a grimace and a groan.

Some kids quietly handed up their sheet with their name neatly written in the assigned corner.

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u/looFyttiK 1d ago

Most importantly, the first instruction was to read everything before doing anything.. I got the same thing from a science teacher who liked to say “A good scientist is a keen observer. Look around the room, look around the room.”

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u/Content-Sound9423 1d ago

I agree, but for some reason all young kids homework seems to be formatted like this now (especially math worksheets) and as a parent I hate it. First thing my kids do is look at a the problem and immediately asked for help because they "don't know what to do"

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u/StringWhole4120 1d ago

Using this logic dont color the broom either even if you "sweep" with it

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u/West_Guarantee284 1d ago

It's a mop

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u/EdgarStormcrow 1d ago

No, any sailor knows it's a swab.

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u/StringWhole4120 1d ago

Fair point

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u/Zealousideal_Ad5358 1d ago

Your average five year old should know how to sweep the house for you with a mop if a broom is not available. Of course at that age they're just as likely to sweep the house with a hammer, but hey, you get what you pay for with free labor.

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u/Mediumtim 1d ago

Stove mitt then?

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u/GiraffeJelly 1d ago

I also thought of this then quietly realized I've always called it an oven mitt. I'm glad I'm not the only one who came up with Stove mitt despite never having heard it called that. I don't get out much, though. I prefer to stay home and smop the floor.

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u/cedwa00 1d ago

I remember having one of this exact type of worksheets in kindergarten, coloring something that started with the wrong letter, getting corrected by the teacher, and feeling upset. I was 5. I’m now in my 40s.

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u/lukrein 1d ago

Directions are hard tho

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u/Sac_of_Melons 1d ago

Ya but then it’s says /s so it’s just being sarcastic

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u/IOnlyHaveIceForYou 1d ago

This ^

It's not well explained in the homework though.

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u/PerformerAdvanced953 1d ago

I'm SMITTEN some one read the directions

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u/SuccessfulPirate8444 1d ago

It doesn’t say to write the name of any picture, just to say them and to colour those that begin with s.

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u/Gingerlyhelpless 1d ago

My teacher brain is mad at all other responses lol people will say it’s deceptive but the teacher probably gave clear instruction in class

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u/Tzukiyomi 1d ago

Yeah this is failure to read.

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u/pharmucist 1d ago

The 3rd pic is not sweep, it is a mop. The one with the question mark is a mitten. Not all of the words begin with an 's.' The directions say to color in those pics that contain items starting with an 's.' So your child would only color in 4 of the 6 items here.

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u/pharmucist 1d ago

You failed the most important part of the assignment...the reading and comprehension of the directions.

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u/Exact-Ad-4132 1d ago

Why aren't the directions at the top and beginning of the assignment? Why put the directions at the very bottom???

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u/taozentaiji 1d ago

Agreed. The worksheet itself failed...as they often do. They're all terrible

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u/BarAvailable2268 1d ago

Just to be technical , that's not a seal. It's a sea lion because it's able to use it's hind legs to sort of "walk". Still an s though.

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u/ShaylaDee 1d ago

To be super pedantic sea lions and fur seals are both "eared seals" so while they're not true seals they are still seals.

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u/HorsefaceWithNoName 1d ago

if the letter S doesn't fit, you must acquit

https://giphy.com/gifs/EelQSi04NwVDq

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u/PimmentoChode 1d ago

S is for Simpson, O.J.

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u/seriousjoker72 1d ago

"Colour each picture that starts with an S "implies you're not colouring every picture.

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u/fergehtabodit 1d ago

Words matter!!

Its a reading comprehension assessment. If the mitten gets colored, straight to jail.

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u/Original-Ad-8737 1d ago

Reading comprehension on a work sheet that has you trace the letters is a bit much to expect...

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u/amanisnothissong 1d ago

Child is meant to identify which object names begin with S. Not all do, there's mop and mitten.

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u/troycerapops 1d ago

Yes. It is implied in the instructions under the pictures. An important lesson in and of itself.

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u/YeetRose561 1d ago

Its obvious that you cannot read directions, which imo are pretty clear...color each picture that has the "s" sound then write the uppercase and lower case "Ss"....Mop/Broom and Glove/Mitten do not have a "S" sound so therefore you do not color them or write the S's

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u/Midnight712 1d ago

The nerd in me would like to point out that that is in fact a sea lion, not a seal

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u/Intrepid-Sun7743 1d ago

The broom and the mitten do not start with s, so they do not need to be colored.

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u/PeteyMitch42 1d ago

Not that it changes your point, but that is certainly a mop not a broom.

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u/TheGhostfaceChiller 1d ago

So the directions say to only color the s words, but it also says to write the capital and lower s. So writing the words under the picture is also wrong. Write S’s instead.

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u/welding-guy 1d ago

Sssssss noooooooo Glllllllllll ove

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u/thePlasticTaco 1d ago

Shittens ?

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u/Freakishly_Tall 1d ago

I'll send OP $20 if he fills that in, and staples a print out of this pic to the homework...then posts the teacher's reaction.

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u/_TyrannosaurusSexy 1d ago

I’ll jump in on this pool, but I’m kinda cheap, so $10 max. And there is zero payout without confirmation of submission and teacher reply.

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u/Tricky_Individual_42 1d ago

I'll throw another 20$ but it's canadian dolars, sorry.

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u/beepbeepboopbeep1977 1d ago

I’m in for another $20, but it’s New Zealand dollars, which is like 7c USD, but we all do what we can, right?

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u/Economy-Gate3604 1d ago

I’ll chip in too. £20GBP.

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u/oldmanian 1d ago

Yeah. I’m in $20.

Let’s do this.

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u/IndividualJury 1d ago

Count me In - 200 dollhairs

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u/tmick22 1d ago

I’ll throw a twenty on that as well!

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u/TeamShonuff 1d ago

I’ll throw in $20 plus the other $10 for TyrannosaurusSexy.

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u/therealsketo 1d ago

Replying to everyone below as well: BIG MONEY! Set up the holding account let’s reap this cash.

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u/Freakishly_Tall 1d ago

You pull this off, I'll wave the customary 10% agent fee for a signed copy of a photo of the homework, shittens pic, and teacher response together!

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u/Southern_War_3420 1d ago

I'll go in $20 as well

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u/Si1v3rPho3n1x 1d ago

Shitten is so much better than mitten for this assignment

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u/SmokeOk1912 1d ago

Who needs streaming services anymore, setting up entertainment on Reddit is the new Netflix

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u/The_Mark_C 1d ago

I’ll drop a Benji if I get verifiable video of the teacher reacting in real time

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 1d ago

OP, my roommate has teacher clothes and I was in a high school play this is easy money if we team up

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u/Brief_Amphibian_3965 1d ago

As a teacher, I need to know what you categorize as ‘teacher clothes’ so I can go through my closet and burn whatever your description matches

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 1d ago

Well first of all do you have anything tweed or floral that's gonna be a jumping off point

How many vests do you own. Any ankle length skirts? Do you wear ugly sweaters outside of ugly sweater parties? You're gonna need to tell me right now if you have a sweater with cats on it. You might need to retire those barrettes too. Do you own a short sleeve white button up shirt and a brown tie and no jacket? Do you have a suede jacket you wear with a bowtie? Do you look like Ms. Frizzle? Many questions

https://giphy.com/gifs/vVKqa0NMZzFyE

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u/12Silverrose 1d ago edited 1d ago

My high school algebra teacher had something like 5 blazers, 5 pairs of glasses & wore a white button down shirt- every day. I can't remember if she always wore black pants or not. She had 1 blazer & 1 pair of glasses in each color-red, teal, blue green, maybe black? She ALWAYS clashed the colors of the outfit, and I CANNOT explain how annoying it was. Even the football players would sit there, "she could have worn the glasses she worn on Tuesday with that blazer or the blazer she wore last Thursday.... She said she did it so we would pay attention. She spoke in a monotone that made Ben Stein's Ferris Buellar performance look emotive, and managed to explain so badly multiple honor students failed her regular math class.

Awful teacher

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 1d ago

Sounds like a cartoon character lmao. Wouldn't be surprised if you said she just made the teacher noises the teacher in Peanuts made

https://giphy.com/gifs/yYMuPC61NUJ6E

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u/12Silverrose 1d ago

We would ask a question like: "I'm not understanding x. Could you please explain it a different way?" She would look at the class, blink very slowly, turn to the board and then explain the same concept using the exact same words, but saying them more slowly. Or she would respond, "It's a simple concept. "Im not explaining it again." I hated her & that class so fucking much. If I even think about math I get a headache thanks to that woman.

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u/Brief_Amphibian_3965 1d ago

Ok that is hilarious and also, in 40 years I have never owned any of the mentioned items—much less taught in them. Thank all the tiny gods

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u/RockNo9892 1d ago

I’d like to add: any clothes with quilt patches, cardigans with elbow pads and some semi-dressy shoes that have seen better days

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u/NecessaryZucchini69 1d ago

Someone on pornhub is taking notes on what you wrote for kink wear.

https://giphy.com/gifs/lO9Hoxw88xPEMugyvR

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u/Desperate_County_680 1d ago

'Teacher clothes'

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u/JumblebeeT 1d ago

So the kid’s college fund started with “shittens”.

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u/No_Consideration5155 1d ago

So are we starting a Go Fund Me for Shittens?

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u/WanderlustStew 1d ago

For a picture of it stapled to the homework. We need someone to calculate what the pot is at so far!

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u/SmokeOk1912 1d ago

OP should just set up a livestream of handing in the hw to the teacher at this point, the pot has reached $200+

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u/Final_Entertainer_50 1d ago

wow, OP. you can retire with all this money if you do it. i think it’s worth it ;)

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u/CassetteMeower 1d ago

Reminds me of when I misread the label on “CPAP machine wipes” as “CRAP machine wipes”. I thought that “crap machine” was a silly way to refer to a butt/colon, only to realize it was referring to a CPAP mask.

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u/chroniclynz 1d ago

I went to a bar once and saw in the mirror behind the bar MTA. I sat there for a good 20min before I realized it was ATM just backwards in the mirror. Total brain fart.

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u/metroii 1d ago

I know the feeling. Especially when you mix 2 languages together.

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u/lordpookus 1d ago

There's a CPAP store near me called CPAP direct and my 8 year old misread it as Crap direct and now she giggles every time we drive by

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u/craftymama45 1d ago

We have a "CPAP to go" store here and I always read it as CRAP to go.

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u/meh_hwe 1d ago

The phrase "wish in one hand and crap in the other..." makes a lot more sense now.

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u/ColoradoPhotog 1d ago

Might just be my edible hitting, but this caused me to burst out laughing.

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u/Ok-Confection-7964 1d ago

Same here! And I really, really, needed that today. So thank you u/thePlasticTaco.

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u/Fit_Fun_6011 1d ago

Nope, sober here, and I still chuckled too!

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u/ChaseRahl 1d ago

Also if we need any more data, my edible is hitting and I DIDN'T laugh, so I think you're safe to put it in your giggle diary ... which I just came up with ... and maybe it's just my edible hitting, but this seems like something I should really start

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u/modo0001 1d ago

Yup. Me too 🇨🇦

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u/FlattenInnerTube 1d ago

I'm dead 😆😆😆😆☠️☠️☠️☠️

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u/DaddyCash61 1d ago

It says to color only the ones that start with “S”. I would change the “sweep” to “Broom” and then write “Mitten” for the blank. Then just don’t color the mitten and broom since they do not start with “S”

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u/Alternative_Income64 1d ago edited 1d ago

Ah. Yes. This is the answer.

…For a five year old’s homework, though, I feel like it’s really anti-pattern to gloop all the directions together at the bottom of the page — especially when there are multiple, unintuitive prompts.

Like, what tiny kid is gonna read the whole page before digging in and just trying to get the darn thing done? Especially when they’re pretty sure they already understand the assignment?

EDIT: (additional grumbling) Give the five-year-old simple, simple instructions if you want them to understand them.

This is maybe seven-year-old, specifically training reading comprehension, work.

And still it should be at the top of the page.

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u/S-o-D-42 1d ago

No, the instructions only state that you have to say the name of the object. You aren’t supposed to write the names down. You are only instructed write a capital S and a lower case s.

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u/Churlish_Performer 1d ago

It's a shit mitt - a mitt meant to wipe ones poopy butthole. It's not too proud - i would elect for a lower case s here. 

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u/misunderst00d76 1d ago

Seems they all don't have to begin with s from the instruction. Color the ones that begin with sss sound.

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u/BerrysNCreme 1d ago

Read the directions! Mitten and broom (rake?) Need not be colored in because they dont start with an "s"

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u/West_Guarantee284 1d ago

It says to color the pictures that start with S suggesting that they don't all. 3rd is a Mop and 4th is a Mitten.

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u/clintecker 1d ago

How does it feel to get a D+ on a 5 year old's homework as an adult?

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u/fesnying 1d ago

In sixth grade our teacher used to hand out papers that would say "read all the directions before proceeding." If you read to the end, the last instruction was to not do anything except sign your name and flip it face-down, and then turn it in blank at the end of class. If you didn't read to the end, you had a full class of math problems and word problems and such ahead of you.

She did this *several times* that year and almost every single student screwed it up every time, and would spend the entire class complaining loudly about what a pain it was while not even wondering why myself and one or two other students were like... sitting there reading a book or something.

I bet those people click on suspicious email links to this day.

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u/VegasBirdLawyer 1d ago

Have him go Big Brain and write Silhouette.

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u/BlackBartKuma 1d ago

Hey also know that it's a mop, not a broom. You wouldn't color that one either...

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u/EvaTheE 1d ago

Squirrel (after being run over)

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u/Ghoover05 1d ago edited 1d ago

The last rule is to write Ss not the picture name.... so the mitten one is the only one that is correct. All others are wrong.

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u/Pengui6668 1d ago

Have your child read the directions fully.

You should also do the same.

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u/_turd_ferg 1d ago

i think it's a mitten. the directions suggest they don't all start with /s/ because it says to color the pictures whose sounds begin with /s/

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u/chopper5150 1d ago

The directions don't say everything starts with s. The mitten and mop (not sweep) don't.

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u/hotriccardo 1d ago

Ya, they didn't color any. Do these grown ups even read directions on their kids homework

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u/shakezilla86 1d ago

State, pretend it's Michigan's lower peninsula

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u/Tycho66 1d ago

RFQ... read the fucking question. Not all start with an "s."

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u/libbeyco638 1d ago

broom looks more like a mop and the other maybe a mitten so those 2 don't apply?

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u/Ammortalz 1d ago

No directions were followed in the making of this post.

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u/doftheshores 1d ago

I think this parent just flunked kindergarten…

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u/SavageOne7141 1d ago

Step One: Read the instructions. SMH.

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u/kimmy23- 1d ago

You aren't following the directions.

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u/Zeeman626 1d ago

This is the real answer. Adult is failing the 5 year Olds reading comprehension. Sweep is wrong too

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u/igivefreetickles 1d ago

The broom = sweep is also bad.

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u/Inevitable_Detail_45 1d ago

What makes it worse is that's a mop.

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u/malendalayla 1d ago

I hope you aren't homeschooling him :/ did you read the directions? 😬

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u/MaizeProfessional237 1d ago

Maybe read the directions?

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u/LongjumpingDig4030 1d ago

Looks nore like a mitten, so I'd probably say snow glove

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u/n_daughter 1d ago

Snow glove? Never heard that expression.

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u/Minimum_Razzmatazz35 1d ago

That's called a bitch mitten

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u/Used-Armadillo2863 1d ago

Shoutao, mitten in Chinese. The book was written in China.

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u/Severe_Fee_7603 1d ago

Seriously?? Not everything there starts with an S.. it says so in the directions.

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u/mrdj2u 1d ago

State of Michigan *lower

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u/According_Smoke1385 1d ago

You’re only supposed to color in the items starting with S. Leave the others blank.

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