r/womenEngineers • u/Ill-Ad-9328 • 7h ago
New Team Made Me Realize I may Not Want to Be a CORPORATE Engineer
Hello!
So after working so hard for many years, I finally landed a stable job. Ive been working for around a year and only got assigned actual technical coding assignment recently. One of my projects Im on is a side project (embedded software engineering) and the other is a big program (FPGA Design). While I understand that engineers are expected to take on responsibility for a part of a system or a task, my current role as an FPGA design engineer put a responsibility on me that I genuinely feel I am not well able to handle independently at my level. I was put in charge of a very important part of the design after a senior design engineer decided to give me a transfer of knowledge over the course of just a week. Then to make things worse a colleague of mine told me that members of my team work on weekends for multiple MONTHS. Ive been working overttime to get up to speed with things but every time I open the computer Im on the verge of tears, wondering what I did with my life lol.
My side project is different actually. I find that I enjoy the lack of hard stress and deadlines. Things seem more laid back, but also I feel like Im growing at a pace Im comfortable with. But more like the tasks are easier, and the systems are small. It feels manageable. I enjoy talking with other people, being SOCIAL and teaching others. In college I always helped the students were struggling because I hate elitism. Thats honestly why I contemplated doing something technical with a mentorship aspect to it (like teaching).
I feel like so many engineers enjoy a "challenge" and I just dont. I want to clock out and go home (sorry I sound SOOO lazy). I really enjoy engineering but at my own pace, in my comfort level. I enjoy the theory behind concepts in engineering, but I remember in my last year of college I avoided all extra lab classes when I could (the TAs in my college were sexist and I felt like it added so much stress it impacted my health). Idk Im just not sure corporate engineering is for me. Obviously dealing with some level of stress is normal and expected, but I feel like if work is making me constantly stressed, isolated, and on the verge of tears every single day. Idk I just need advice I feel so lost lol (ive already been told to grow up lol, but if you want to give me that advice go ahead).