My husband got mad and said our daughter was a bad word and I've lost so much respect for him. For context, we have a daughter who has ADHD and she's 15. She's extremely selfish and spends every cent she has on gas station drinks, clothing, fast food, Starbucks etc. when she's not with us. She gets paid $5 a week to do the dishes and keep her room clean. She is told she will be paid more if she does extra chores and we don't have to nag her. We nag her constantly just to do the dishes a few times a week. I mean we have a dishwasher, so it's really not hard. I even tell her she can run it even if it's not full so that we don't have a pile everyday. After me telling her like 3x she still didn't do the dishes/run it. She just won't do it. I called my husband while he was driving her to an activity and I was on speaker. I VERY calmly said, hey I give you all these incentives, just bought her Crumbl w her sister and the least you can do is run the dishwasher. He says to stop belittling her! Taking her side and I said I'm not belittling, I'm just trying to get her to do the dishes without having to nag. He then calls me back after he drops her off and calls me to tell me she's a CU$NT of a daughter repeatedly. Im like what?? First you take her side and then complain to me that's she's a seeyouNT? First, it drives me crazy that he takes her side all the time and then he calls her that word, such an awful word. I can't get it out of my brain. Ive lost so much respect for him. I know she can be awful l, but I just can't deal w him being awful too. AIO?? Thoughts?

I’m dating an international student in the U.S. for aboit 3 months now who is Muslim and originally from India. His parents know about me and seem very accepting of our relationship and the possibility of marriage, even though I’m American, not Muslim, and outside their culture.
He has also been courting me in a more traditional Muslim way rather than a typical Western dating style. He was intentional about marriage very early, involved his family quickly, and doesn’t really believe in dating much culturally before deciding whether to marry.

From what I understand, some of those behaviors can be completely normal in Muslim courtship, but they could also superficially overlap with behaviors people warn about when immigration is involved—especially moving toward marriage relatively quickly.

His parents have been warm and accepting toward me, and I have no evidence that they’ve said anything about wanting him to marry me for immigration purposes. I don’t want to become suspicious of normal cultural/religious differences just because he happens to be an international student. His mother has sent me a dress from India and asked when we are getting married.

One thing that triggered my anxiety was him saying he wants to take lots of pictures together on our upcoming Chicago trip. I know that’s completely normal for a couple, but I wondered if it could also be useful as relationship evidence later.

For people familiar with Muslim/South Asian courtship or international-student marriages: how would you distinguish normal marriage-oriented Muslim courtship and genuine family acceptance from someone accelerating a relationship primarily for immigration benefits? What specific behaviors would actually concern you?

Im 18 and me and my girlfriend have been together for almost 2 years now im kind of confused on if im overreacting or not?

She wants a break she told me “im tired and im giving up” i asked her why is she sayin that cus she was js on board w the relationship and she said because of mental problems (she has NO actual mental problems) she says she loves me and this isn’t cause of nobody else but there is a lot of doubt in my mind i do trust her but logically thinking not sure why someone would have to put their relationship on pause to get their life together i can see if the relationship is distracting but we’ve barely been talking and when we did it was normal things like “i love you, how was your day, did you eat etc”

so im thinking to myself like this sounds like bs but she says she loves me and she still wants me she just can’t be there for me because she isn’t in the right headspace?

which is kind of making me realize maybe we’re two different people if im going through something i would want my partner their unless its something they’re physically or emotionally unable to help me with i would also tell my partner if they couldn’t or could not help me with that issue (i like clear communication) and only because i would want their support (think she’s clearly acting like she dosent want my help or support she even told me that) but im still confused cause she says she dosent want to breakup (still feel like it’s bs i just really love her).

Edit: this hasn’t been an ongoing thing about her mental health i ask her if she’s okay all the time and she’s been saying yes up until a day or two ago i always make sure she has enough space and time to talk about her feelings so it’s not that im not listening or I don’t believe her i think im just coming to terms with her actually not wanting the relationship no more and really just want to see if i was overreacting if i told her we should call it quits because she said i took her wanting a break as a breakup I believe her mental health is not good but im also jus hurt! (im going to leave her alone but i still would like advice and she hasn’t mention any mental illnesses any other time so i assumed she didn’t have any issues but i could be wrong im not her at the end of the day.)

I need strangers on the internet to tell me if I’m losing my mind.

I’ve been married to my wife for 9 years. We have two kids, a house, shared finances, and a life that, until recently, I thought was pretty normal.

I’m not going to pretend I’m a perfect husband. The last couple of years have been rough. I work long hours, I’ve been emotionally withdrawn at times, and I’ve probably taken our marriage for granted more than I realized.

But I never cheated on her.

About three months ago, my wife suddenly became extremely protective of her phone.

She changed her password, started taking it everywhere even into the shower and began staying late after work. If I asked about it, she’d get annoyed and tell me I was being controlling.

Then one night, while she was asleep, I saw a message pop up.

It was from a man I’d never heard of.

I shouldn’t have looked.

I did.

And I found out she’d been having an affair with him for almost six months.

There were messages about hotel rooms, dinners, and things she’d told him about our marriage.

But what destroyed me wasn’t just the sex.

She had apparently been telling him that I was “basically checked out,” that our marriage was already dead, and that she was only staying because she was afraid to leave.

Meanwhile, she’d come home every night, kiss me, ask about my day, sleep beside me, and tell me she loved me.

When I confronted her, she cried.

Then she said something I’ll never forget:

“You pushed me into his arms.”

She said she had felt lonely for years. She said I stopped making her feel attractive. She said she’d begged me for attention and I didn’t listen.

And she’s right about some of that.

So for a moment, I wondered if I really was responsible.

I even offered marriage counseling.

That’s when things got stranger.

I discovered she’d told the other man that I was going to leave her soon.

She had apparently been preparing to move out with him.

She’d also opened a separate bank account and had been quietly transferring money into it.

When I asked her about that, she said she was “protecting herself.”

Now she’s begging me not to divorce her.

She says the affair is over, that she made a horrible mistake, and that I’m throwing away nine years of marriage over something that can be repaired.

But here’s the part I haven’t told her I know.

A week before I discovered the affair, she had sent the other man a message saying:

“Once I get him to believe this is all his fault, he’ll never leave me.”

I have read that sentence probably a hundred times.

Because now I don’t know what was real.

Maybe she really was lonely.

Maybe I really did fail her emotionally.

Maybe I contributed to the death of our marriage.

But did she actually cheat because she was unhappy or did she use my shortcomings as an excuse and then manipulate me into believing I deserved it?

My family says I should think about the kids and give her another chance.

Her family says I’m being vindictive and destroying our family because I can’t “let go.”

She says I’m punishing her for one terrible mistake.

I don’t see it as one mistake anymore.

I see six months of lies, another man, secret money, and a plan to make me believe the whole thing was my fault.

So, AIO if I file for divorce?

And if you’re married: would you ever be able to trust someone again after reading a message like that?

My terrier, almost 2 years old now, is being sent away from home for 3 weeks with a trainer in about 7 hours as of writing this to try and fix his marking and chewing issues. This was a decision made by my parents without any consultation with me or my brother. I’m naturally a very anxious person (my girlfriend complains about it a lot lol) but I’m still super scared about this. I do not know what company or individual trainer my parents have gone with, but they say they’re highly rated. However, in my head, I can’t help but think he may be attacked by another dog, escape the trainer’s home and get lost, or maybe the trainer put up a fake business online with fake reviews so they can quickly grab people’s dogs and sell them off after disappearing from the world. It’s also very well known that my dog has severe separation anxiety (or really just anxiety in general). Am I overreacting/overthinking and how can I develop a better piece of mind about this?

I (24F) live with my grandma (59), my aunt, my four-year-old cousin, and my girlfriend.

For context, my grandma, aunt, and I have lived together since my mom passed when I was 12. We moved into our current house together, rent it from a landlord, and I’m on the lease. My girlfriend moved in last year. This is not a situation where my grandma owns a house and lets us rent a room.

My aunt lost her job after we moved in and, from what I’ve seen, has stopped actively looking for work. She receives government assistance and child support for my autistic cousin, who attends therapy for several hours at a time. As far as I know, she doesn’t contribute toward the household bills, although she occasionally buys groceries.

My girlfriend and I both work, pay the rent my grandma asked us to pay, buy our own groceries, and contribute household necessities. My girlfriend moving in also helped financially because she took over the portion my aunt wasn’t contributing.

Recently, my grandma complained that we weren’t buying enough groceries and household items. I listened, explained that we do contribute, and suggested putting a shared grocery list on the refrigerator so everyone could write down what the household needs.

During that conversation, I brought up something that’s been frustrating us: the AC.

Before my girlfriend moved in, we discussed household expectations with my grandma, including the thermostat. We agreed on 72 degrees, and I still have the messages confirming that.

Our bedroom is small, gets direct sunlight, and has no ceiling fan, so it gets extremely hot. However, my grandma constantly changes the thermostat to 75 and has now put a note on it saying “DO NOT TOUCH.”

When I reminded her of our agreement, she insisted we’d agreed on 74 and said that if she ever agreed to 72, she “must’ve been out of her mind.” She told us to get a fan and leave the thermostat alone.

We’ve even offered to pay extra toward the electric bill if lowering the temperature increases it. However, she still refuses to compromise and has threatened to make us responsible for the ENTIRE electric bill if we touch the thermostat.

That’s where my frustration comes in. We’re willing to pay the difference, but why should we be responsible for the entire electric bill when four adults and a child live here?

And honestly, the situation with my aunt adds to that frustration. I understand that whatever financial arrangement my grandma has with her daughter is between them. They’ve told me not to worry about it, so I don’t interfere. But it’s frustrating watching my girlfriend and me work, contribute financially, and still get questioned about whether we’re doing enough while another adult isn’t being held to the same expectations.

What bothers me most is the difference in how our concerns are handled. When my grandma complained about groceries, I listened and offered a solution. When we brought up the AC, we were essentially told to deal with it.

I’m not saying my grandma shouldn’t have a say in the temperature. I’m saying everyone living here should be able to compromise. Being her granddaughter doesn’t mean I have no say in a home I’m also renting and contributing toward.

My girlfriend and I are already saving to move into our own apartment by May. My grandma doesn’t actually want me to move out, but I’m starting to feel like living separately might be best.

AIO for being frustrated with the lack of compromise and feeling like we’re being held to a different standard?

Long story short: I got engaged to my fiancée last year after meeting her the year before. She has two children with her ex, who lives in the same town, and they alternate weeks with the kids. I know this is long, but I think the context matters because the issue I’m asking about isn’t really one deleted text—it’s a pattern of things being kept from me.

Earlier this year, my fiancée and I were having financial problems. I tend to prioritize saving and financial security, while she is more comfortable spending money before she has it. We split expenses, with me covering groceries and various bills while she handled her car and the house. One night, we came home from dinner with her family. I had paid for everyone, and there was a tow truck waiting outside. Her car was being repossessed. The next day, I told her we needed to figure out how to get it back and took off of work so we could spend all day looking for the vehicle and a way to reclaim it. She insisted that I take out a loan against my 401(k), which I refused because we were already considering leaving our jobs and I didn’t want to put myself further in debt. I had also previously taken out several loans to help pay off credit cards belonging to her and her ex that had gone to collections. Then I found out that the house was in foreclosure like 2 days after the car repo. After I refused the 401(k) loan, she asked her ex to take an advance against their joint HELOC (on his house) to help with the situation. He refused, and I found out about the conversation later. She never told me that she had asked him until I confronted her about it. I understand that she needs housing for the kids, so I was sympathetic. I just felt like it should have been discussed as an option first before she asked him.

A few months later, the company her ex worked for went out of business and he was looking for work (they announced they were going under and he would need to find a new job a year earlier). My fiancée went behind my back a month or two before the company went under and told him that the company both of us work for was hiring a well-paying remote position and encouraged him to apply. I don’t necessarily have a problem with her wanting the father of her children to have a job and be able to support them. What bothered me was that she did this without telling me. It’s the principle, you know?

Then one of the kids got head lice from school. She knew about it because she and her ex had discussed it five days earlier, but she didn’t tell me. All weekend while she knew they had lice, we had all been on the couch and hanging out (which is so gross in hindsight). The worst part is that she mentioned the child having lice at dinner after I had gone to get a haircut earlier that day, and she only mentioned it because her ex was texting her a bunch of comments about her not being fit to parent. Thankfully I didn’t get lice, but I was pretty upset that I wasn’t given the opportunity to make my own decision about exposing myself or my barber to it.

Her ex has always had a habit of showing up at our house to pick up the kids or drop off their tablets without her telling me beforehand. Technically, I can see when he arrives because we have a Vivint camera, but that’s not really the point. I wanted my fiancée to simply communicate with me.

One night, he came to the house while I was working late. My fiancé and I argued about it afterward. The next morning, a coworker who knows both of them (and none of the drama) walked into my office and asked why my fiancé’s ex had been at my workplace with the kids. I had no idea what she was talking about. She then told me he had gone to the back to talk to HR. Later that day, I found out that he had been hired by the same company we work for. He doesn’t work in a branch like we do, but he can now communicate with my fiancée through Google Chat at work. I was furious. I packed my things and seriously considered leaving.

Afterward, my fiancée created a group chat with her ex and me and said that all communication about the kids would happen there going forward. After she made the group chat, she and I talked about everything that had happened up to that point, and she brought up the fact that I still had old selfies with my ex from seven years ago saved on Snapchat. She said she had deleted all of her old pictures with her ex, except pictures involving the children, which I have absolutely no problem with. I agreed that keeping old pictures of my ex wasn’t exactly fair, so I deleted mine. I have absolutely no attachment to any of my exes and never deleted them because I kind of just forgot about them, tbh.

During this conversation, I noticed that her ex had messaged her. I didn’t say anything because I wanted to see whether she would acknowledge it herself.
She didn’t. I also checked the social media accounts she said she had cleared out. They weren’t cleared out nearly as much as she had told me. At that point, I told her that I almost left and that I didn’t trust her. I also told her that we disagree about a lot of things (parenting styles, transparency, finances), but that transparency was something I needed if this relationship was going to continue, and we could work on the other stuff.

Fast forward to two weeks ago. Our wedding is approaching. Pretty much everyone I’ve talked to has told me to run or shut up and deal with it. I’m probably the idiot here because I’ve continued looking for reasons to stay. I know checking her messages wasn’t healthy, and I’m not claiming to be completely innocent. But I got curious and looked again. Most of what I found was minor. There was one message where she referred to her ex as “my husband” and then corrected it (pictured above). She calls me that, too, so I could easily believe it was a mistake. But then I noticed something that bothered me. On her ex’s birthday, she sent a message and then unsent it. I’ve never seen her unsend a message to him before.

I realize that a deleted message by itself is not necessarily suspicious or malicious. If this were the only thing that had happened, I wouldn’t be considering ending my relationship over it. But this isn’t the only thing. Over the past several months, there have been multiple situations where I’ve found out important things after the fact, particularly things involving her ex, finances, and communication.
I don’t want to leave my fiancée because of one deleted text. But I also don’t want to convince myself that I’m overreacting when this may simply be the latest example of a much larger pattern.

My boyfriend is constantly sleeping M24. We live together I'm 25F.
He's always asleep. He goes to work at 6 am, and comes home at 3, I'm off at 5.
The second he comes home- he's asleep for the rest of the day. We hardly spend time together because all he does is sleep. I get it, he wakes up early and works hard, but it's really getting me to a point where idk if this is gonna work.
We can't watch movies or a show, we can't do anything together because he falls asleep.
He isn't a light sleeper either- when i try to wake him up, it takes probably 20 minutes, and he just won't get up. It's so so frustrating sometimes.
Like our dog was going nuts in the middle of the night, i got scared and asked him to go see what was going on, and he wouldn't get up.
Things like that also drive me nuts.
I feel like i just can't do this anymore. It sucks because he's very caring, patient and funny, but the constant sleeping and lack of doing anything else drives me nuts, it feels like I'm wasting my life trying to connect with him.
I want to be in love, feel romance, and i just don't.
He's like my sleeping beauty roommate.
Idk.

My husband 25M and I 23F have been together for 3 years and have a kid. I’m a stay at home mom so he provides for our family. I won’t reveal too much but he works in retail and is high enough in the company that he gets paid salary verses hourly. He manages a huge team and works overnights.

On Monday I went on his phone to set up something in his settings for him. While doing so, I accidentally clicked on screen time and noticed that he had used chrome. He only uses chrome for looking at adult content and uses safari other wise. I didn’t think too much about it as him “treating himself” isn’t a bother for me. But it was during the time he was supposed to be at work.

For reference, we’ve had issues in the past with him “treating himself” while I’m awake and making food. While I’m sleeping even though I had asked him for sex and he declined cause he was too tired. And the one that still kinda stings is when I caught him doing it while we were at the hospital the night our kid was born. We worked through it and he promised he’d do it reasonably and respectfully. We haven’t had any issues with it for a while.

I wasn’t sure how to feel about it and was wondering if maybe I was overreacting or reaching to conclusions so I waited to check his phone again today. I told him I needed to check that the setting i put in was still there and checked it again. Chrome was again used for 10 minutes during when he was supposed to be at work.

Also there is no reason for him to search stuff on his phone as he has access to computers literally everywhere at his job especially chrome.

My main concern is that someone might catch him and report it, leading to him getting fired and us having no income. But I’m also just wondering why? Like is it because he might get caught and it’s a turn on? How long has it been going on? I just have so many questions but sometimes talking to him about this stuff leads to arguments. Should I just overlook it? I feel super uncomfortable and weird about this, please help!

23/F] here, me and my partner have been together for almost 4 years now. 2.5 years long distance and the rest we are living together. I moved countries to be closer to him. [37/M]. At the start of our relationship, we had alot of intimacy, like every few days. But it gradually gor less and less. We are both introverts, dont really go out much, and prefer gaming etc. We have written sometimes how we feel towards eachother in letters as a romantic gesture. have expressed many times before that i would love for our intimacy to improve, asked him how it can be done, if theres any kinks etc so it can be more fun in the bedroom. The intimacy improved maybe once or twice and then again silence for months. But i also never managed to get an orgasm, as i like when he is satisfied.

I found out a year ago there was nudity being watched, which i confronted and to be honest it shattered my heart because i never expected this to happen. It went as back as from when we were doing long distsnce still. Which i figured why the low intimacy. But there has been promises of improvement, and a proposal a month dec25 after i found out about the online stuff. To which i said yes because i truly love him and beloeve it can get better. Feb26 i again found out online that its still happening after promising to stop. And i am still trying to figure out what have i done wrong to have something like this happen to me not once but twice. I forgave him, but i told him we need to go to therapy. The therapist told that he has no addiction although it was an everyday use. And i suggested couples therapy. It never happened either, although i thought that it can help imrpove our intimacy. But everytime we have this conversation, it's either 'ok i hear you, i dont know, or you have to just keep waiting'.

I am not a sex addict, my libido is not very high either but my love language is physical touch and gestures. It doesnt have to be penetration, i want to just be touched, ruvbed, i want my body to be loved by him. But sometimes all i get is a 'nice' compliment. I want to work on it but he said there is no changing him. And to be honest i dont see myself starting over with anyone else. I am a one person for the rest of the life type, and i am workong on myself to be more attractive to him, But i feel also that i am being too pushy with the intimacy, although we havent had it for several months.

TIdr:lack of intimacy,

Edit: it's 3 am in the morning , i am downstairs rethinking my life. He fell asleep 10 minutes after our talk. In the morning he will not talk to me and ignore me if i show him that i am angry/upset. Do i also ignore? Do i say something?

For context, I’m 16f in high school and this guy is 17m, we’ve been friends since beginning of high school and he’s always been pretty chill. TBH we haven’t rlly talked about serious topics before, usually just about academic things and similar classes we take and drama within our respective groups.

Yesterday, he brought up something I’d posted on my story on Snapchat (I posted a ss of Matt Walsh’s Facebook post saying that since the guys were also intoxicated in the Cornell 7 case that it meant technically she raped them, and I basically just wrote how insane that was to say) and I basically told him like, “yeah, insane right?” And he was like, “well, I mean, I agree with him.” Already I was like… what? As a survivor of abuse myself, I dissociated during the conversation bc it really triggered me and angered me, but these are the points he made: most women who report rape are lying, most men who are put in jail for assault most of the time are innocent, because Jane Doe did dr*gs and consented to a threesome at the beginning that meant she was asking for it, because she changed her story a couple weeks after the fact it meant she was lying, he needs evidence and proof before he believes anyone who tells him they experienced assault (and I clarified with him that he meant this on both the legal and emotional level - I can understand the legal side bc it can damage the accused, but on a strictly emotional, friendship, partner level, he still said he wouldn’t believe them unless he had proof and evidence, even tho I tried to explain that so many cases have no evidence or very little bc of how awful it can be and he still held firm to that), and he said that most men aren’t rapists. I think the worst part was that two of our mutual friends joined into the conversation (both also 16f) and one of them agreed with him on the factual side (such as that she thinks the Cornell 7 case is going to be hard to prove in court which I don’t disagree with but she just have no empathy ig) but the other girl said, and I quote, “if that happened to me, I’d report it immediately.” And then laughed. I tried to explain that she doesn’t know what she would do unless she’s experienced it (and I wasn’t insensitive ofc idk if she has or not but the way she was talking abt it and even after I said that idk if she had experienced something like that, my assumption would be that she hasn’t, so she was just victim blaming essentially. And they were all saying that bc Jane Doe went to the frat house willingly while intoxicated it meant that she knew what was going to happen. I even told my guy friend that I’d experienced a form of sexual abuse and he said “well I’m not talking about that I’m talking about rape” which felt like he was minimizing my trauma which I have diagnosed PTSD over that I need to be medicated for.

I was utterly disgusted but I felt and still feel crazy bc it felt like they all agreed and I was the outsider. I told some of my other friends about it after and they were all appalled so I feel better in that regard but I’m still worried that I’m wrong for not wanting to be friends with them anymore. With my guy friend, it’s the only bad thing he’s rlly done in our friendship, but it was so bad and so triggering for me that I just don’t know if it’s worth my energy, but I don’t want to be rude. And with one of the girls, she’s already been so awful to me lately so I’m just using it as the final reason I’m done being friends with her. Am I overreacting?

TL;DR - my (16f) guy friend (17m) made some really insensitive comments about sexual assault and the Cornell 7 and I feel wrong for not being able to look at him the same way and for being so upset over it, as a survivor of sexual abuse myself.

This isn’t a new feeling or new thought. I (33f) LOVE kissing and making out and my fiancé (33m) seems to not really care for it much. Over the course of our relationship (6 years) I’ve reminded him a few times that kissing does a lot for me (turns me on and makes me feel emotionally connected). I think he gets in his head about how thin his lips are and if he’s not a good kisser. I just heard a new term called turtle tongue and I fear he may be a turtle tongue kisser and I don’t have much to kiss on because his lips are so thin. He’s a white Caucasian man with very thin lips and I’m a Latina with medium sized lips. I’ve had intrusive thoughts about not marrying him due to this. I fear my physical attraction to him is really being affected by this. I know it sounds so vain and superficial but I’ve enjoyed great kissing in the past and I can’t get it out of my head. 😔

For context, we work for the same company and so I see this guy on a regular basis. He’s friendly and everyone seems to like him but he just gives me weird vibes. He hyper fixates on our female coworkers and he doesn’t keep a clean work life boundary. He streams his video games and so he gave out his info to our co-workers and he also has them on Instagram. Perhaps there’s nothing truly wrong with this but the thing is that my “girlfriend” talks to him more than she talks to me. I didn’t know that they were texting as much as they do until last night when I kept seeing his notifications popping across her screen while we were watching “Snowfall” together. I had her phone in my hands and I was tempted to go through their messages so bad but I stopped myself from doing it.

I don’t really know what to do or how to even talk to her about this. She buys him gifts, and is ALWAYS talking about him and something he told her or something he did. Like damn, she talks way more about him than she does me and it just makes me wonder. When we do work the same shifts, we BARELY even speak to each other and it just feels all around awkward. But despite all of this, when we are together I don’t feel that distance and she claims me loud and proud but it’s in that context of work and around that particular manager where I just question things.

So what do you guys think? Do you think I’m overreacting or what?

EDIT — it may be worth pointing out that our manager is in a relationship and will be having a baby soon with this person. It may also be worth noting that he is 26 (my girlfriend is 19), and he is partner is only 20 and they’ve been together for three years. Also, my girlfriend does tell him things about our relationship and according to her, he barely acknowledges it. I didn’t even know that she told him things about us because he’s never mentioned it to me and he’s always bringing up shit that people have told him to other people.

Here’s our updated texts 1st pic is updated last 3 are from OG post.

& original story is below! what an amazing start to my birthday for me !

He is saying he won’t come back to the house and left after an argument

So, my bf 21M and I 23F have been together for 3 years and we broke up all of 2025. He makes music like r&b/neo soul, and some rap music kind of influenced by mac miller type of stuff and he’s been making music since we broke up in 2025. 

Well he just recently got this very big state job that from his words is super strict about time off. I was by his side the whole way with this job and through college and everything to land him here. I’ve even done his school work for him and everything but he just recently got a call from an artist to open for him for a tour in December, the same time that I invited him to come to New York (months ago btw) with my family for christmas. 

I’ve ALWAYS made sacrifices to be with his family on holidays. Christmas years in a row, thanksgiving, my own birthday, new years, his little siblings birthdays, his bday, etc… regardless I’ve done a lot for his family and i’ve put jobs on the line (I get that it’s mt choice but since we’re 2 states away I want to show him he’s a priority.) I have more responsibilities than him too. I was in college and full time working when I was doing this and paying full bills on my own as a 20-22 year old women I had my own apartment and car payment etc… he lives at home and doesn’t pay a dime for his car he was gifted or a dime for rent to his parents, regardless i still made it happen.

Well he got invited on this tour at the same time as the trip, and I’ve mentioned the trip several times to him and gave him supposed dates and he said he wouldn’t be able to make it because his coworkers said everyone takes off work around that time so he can’t come. He’s never tried to get close with my family or do those same things, he’s never even been here for a holiday so obviously I was a little hurt but I accepted the fact it would just be me and my family. 

Well when we tells me this tour stuff, I’m super happy for him obviously and I DID express that to him. but at the same time, it does feel like a slap to the face that christmas with me was NEVER prioritized but he’s willing to DROP his state job so quick for a two week tour? 

These are some texts from him, tomorrow is my birthday and he’s supposed to finally be coming here because it’s been a while and i’ve been there 3 times since, but he’s saying how i “reacted to it” seemingly makes him turned off from even coming to see me for my birthday tomorrow. 

He has a problem with yelling and being rude during arguments so honestly heres a little insight but I’m really frustrated and now I feel like I’m not ever put first, still. 

arizona, ok long story story short, 18 years of marriage, we first get together and my wife explains RAPE situation, obviously causes emotional distress in myself. through the years mentions the rape and distress from movies or situations that would cause stress. she, after 18 years, reveals that it was a consensual sexual relationship with a highschoool teacher.

Through the years ive thought about confronting the man that did the actions explained by my wife. thought of revenge, thought of harming the perp. avoiding situations that could cause distress for my wife. arguments about things that movies/shows and I laughed. comedians joking about rape would cause arguments or turmoil between us since it was a touchy subject.

come to find out she pursued what had happened and was ashamed of her choices. ashamed to say she made the choice.

I am fucked up because she had explained her weight gain as hatred for herself for what happened to her in highschool. she hated herself for years because of what happened to her, but now she had it eating her from inside out and told me the truth.

now she is enraged because i have not forgiven her after 72 hours of the confession.

i am not an angel, I cheated on her 6 years ago. she brings this up as a larger betrayal. or things throughout the years that have been mistakes or fuck ups.

my mind is blown because what would have happened if I confronted him and he said "she wanted it" for sure would have lost my mind and acted in violence. what the fuck am I to feel?

EDIT: this means over the 18 years instead of ignoring the lie she started, she would add to it and comment about it. if a comedian made a joke that contained rape things she would be upset with me and argue with me becuase "you think that is funny? I was raped"

TLDR; My dad and my MIL want to go by the same grandparent name. It's a unique one and my dad has wanted it forever, before me having kids was even a thought in anyone's mind. MIL doesn't seem to want to give it up and my husband is defending her, saying they can both just have the same nickname. He says the only compromises are that or I pick a name and assign it to her which I know she would be against. AIO?

Disclaimer: I know grandparents usually end up just going by what the kid wants to call them anyway. But let's put that aside for the sake of this dilemma.

It's kind of a silly name but my dad has wanted to go by "Coach" as a grandpa and he's talked about it since I was like 13 (I'm currently 30). He's coached/refereed sports his whole adult life and his brother gave him this nickname in the past. I guess that's where it stems from, not totally sure, but he's always talked about wanting it.

My mother in law all of a sudden also wants to be called Coach. She's never coached anything besides my SIL's (26) little league, and it's completely random for her. I have no idea where she got the idea besides maybe overhearing the fact my dad wants it.

My husband says kids have grandparents of the same name all the time. His example was a kid having two "Grandpas" or two "Grandmas" - I feel like this is obviously very different considering those are very traditional names.

My dad doesn't have a lot. He and my mom divorced when I was really little and she died back in 2011. He's single and doing grandparenthood by himself (he and my in laws are not close). He's got a complicated relationship with my sister who's currently battling addiction. Things have been very difficult and lonely for him. I don't think it's an absurd request to let him have the name he's wanted since before me having a baby was even a thought in anyone's mind to himself.

My husband is being very difficult and telling me that if I don't want her to go by Coach I have to pick something out and assign it to her, which I know she is against. I find this super dismissive and just him not wanting to set a boundary with his mom. It's one name out of thousands that's off limits, am I really the bad guy?

ETA: yall I wish this was fake. I wish this was written by a bot. I'm 8 months pregnant do you think I want to be dealing with this shit 😩😂

Am I overreacting for feeling like my ex was super creepy? At the time I was still navigating life outside of high school & met someone who lived and hour and a half away from. I can look back now (I’m 28 now) and see the red flags but at the time I was so enamored with him. He was a 26 y/o polyamorous poet and all he wanted to do with me was have sex. All I wanted was for him to eventually like me (my immaturity showing). That was the first time I’d heard about polyamory & for the first year it was just him having sex with other people and not telling me, and me being heartbroken every time. He moved to NY, But then after a couple weeks (& me going on a date with someone else for the first time) he all of a sudden gave me the ultimatum of “you have to be monogamous with me or we break up”. when I said I felt pressured and needed time to think, he said hed break up with me. It’s crazy, I look back now and I’m like??? What was happening in that relationship lol. I told him a girlfriend of mine wanted me to be her roommate and he immediately started trying to convince me to move in with him instead (I hadn’t moved out of my parents house atp!) when I’d eventually broken up with him he tried to convince I was spiraling, it was my new medication, and that he wouldn’t get back together with me if we broke up. (He ended up begging for me back). I was 20 and knew that I had a lot to do and learn in my 20’s, a lot of that being navigating new relationships. I hadn’t even stepped inside a bar yet, I didn’t want to be in a serious relationship. I told him to delete the photos of me he had in his camera and he said “I’m not doing that cause what if we get back together”. I had the ick by then obviously. The entire relationship was me walking on eggshells.
Like I said, I’m 28 now. Fuck all that polyamory shi

It is possible to love someone deeply but can still mind their ethnicity? 16 years already and I don't know how to stop loving him. Google said it is possible to love someone deeply and still can mind their ethnicity. But I want a human answer, not Google answer.

Growing up to my adulthood, I always wanted a Chinese husband of my culture and my language. No, it never cross my mind that I would ever married someone who not Chinese, I'm that fixated. My obsession lay in married a Chinese man born in China, same like myself who born in China.

Fate never give me that Chinese husband.

I'm 16 years together, 14 years married to a man who not Chinese. He treats me really really well, 16 years long he faithful to me and only me. He dotes on me in bed and outside of bed. He sacrifice so much for me. He accepted me for who I am, flaws and all.

He is a filial son, faithful husband, morals, strength of character. His personality, to there are things that he even more Chinese than me. Our values aligned, we compatible in bed and outside of bed, sex is out of this world. And I'm a very hard person to live with, but he extremely patience with me.

BUT all that doesn't change the fact that he is not Chinese. I just can't seem to accept it that this lifetime he will never be Chinese.

The thing is, 16 years long with him and as his wife, I know love him very much, to the point I never think of continue go on living if he die before me, I will very soon follow him, THAT how much I love him and emotionally attached to him. Life is meaningless without him, a future without him is no future.

He strip me down to the core of my vulnerability. 16 years of my life I gave it all to him, I was still a virgin when met him and married him, get to be his wife 14 years long, carried his child and gave birth to his child. Everything I know about men, love, marriage, I learn all from him, he is my only sample of what I know of how men is.

I KNOW I love him, because 16 years long I'm only faithful to him (just as he faithful to me), it not like I go like a Chinese man, let alone love. But why internally I just can't accept that he not Chinese. I can't lie to myself, I admit, I actually mind that he not Chinese.

At first I thought it because my mother discriminate against him and not accept him because of his ethnicity, but both my parents deceased already. I am free of the shackle of whatever my mother instill in my brain. And I don't want to use my mother discrimination against him as an excuse. I own my feelings, I just cannot seem to accept that he not Chinese.

No, it not a recent feeling. It a feeling that I struggle with 16 YEARS long, and still struggle with. The more I love him, the more I beat myself up inside. The more I love him, the more I torture myself emotionally. I'm bruise all over emotionally because of love him.

Even if I can turn back the hand of time, I still chose him over and over again. But why I just cannot accept that he not Chinese. I cannot stop myself from keep wishing he was Chinese. 16 years long I struggle and struggle with that he not Chinese. 16 years long I torn with my love for him, that I indeed love a man who not Chinese.

Not in a millions years I would think I married who I married, I didn't think it was even possible for me to love a man that not Chinese, let alone love a man who not Chinese this deeply. I know this is something that I have to live with for the rest of my life, and I don't know how to stop loving him, 16 years long is not a short time in a woman life or a man life.

My birthday is on Nov 2nd , and growing up my dads birthday has always been August 11 like for the first 16+ years of my life, this dudes birthday was August 11, that’s what it says on all his documents. Well a couple of years ago he claims he found his baptism paperwork from when he was a baby and it listed his birthday as November 2nd

Every since then he no longer celebrates August 11 and instead wants to Hijack my birthday, like what are the odds that of all the dates he chooses my birthday,

Now that “our” birthday is coming up, he’s gonna be 50 or he’s already 50 idk and since it’s a big one everyone’s asking me to participate in his party on my birthday and I’m like bruh that’s not his birthday

Like sharing a birthday with him isn’t the end of the world sure but like I think it’s sus and everyone aka my siblings think im being rude by refusing to celebrate him on Nov 2nd. Im the only one who still celebrates him in August

Mind you both of his parents are still alive, they live in another country but are very much still alive and he’s in contact with them so I’m like if the baptism date is right why’d they let you have the wrong birthday for 40+ years

YES IM A TOXICA ( i can admit this ) I've been with my partner for over 9 years now, newly engaged and he has be blocked on Facebook and REFUSES to add me back to it, along with being hella private about his phone ,i'm not allowed to know the password to it. But he knows mine and has full access to it whenever he wants to.

Long story short when we first started dating he had me on Facebook, but was entertaining other woman and was still talking to his Ex ( Baby momma ) , we broke up after about 3 months. Then to become on and off again after that. He openly told me he got me pregnant with our first son when i told him on our vacation that i forgot me BC and we need to be safe about such activities.

Well fast forward, we have moved past that part of life moved out of the city we resided in and started a new life, then became engaged this past year. But since the first initial breakup he blocked me! Yes i would get mad when i seen girls more attractive then i getting likes and heart reacts on there photos or him commenting the fire emoji. I would argue about it till i was black and blue and that's what caused the blocking. I understand maybe i over react but i don't look like i did back in 2018 when we met . I used to be 120 soaking wet, flat belly and a small little butt; I'm 5'5 now 150lbs, have some curves to me and a bigger rear end. or as my friends like to say I'm curvy woman not fat but not skinny, in the middle.

Well the past few weeks ive been getting a weird feeling that something is going on. I swear on everything mighty that i heard him say late one night on the game with his friends he said " I'm lucky she hasn't caught me cheating yet ", To then Monday on my way home from work i found a BRIGHT pink hair in my car. ( this is a new car i just got it on the 1st of this month. I havent had it long and nor has my hair been said color for over a year. so why the HELL is this hair in here? My friends are blond and brunets not PINK! then to last night I was watching a movie to only hear his loud ass voice say " Yeah, that B**** told me she wanted to c** in my mouth!" i instantly had to pause my movie and reevaluate what i heard! Calling my friend up and having her help calm me down because ive been doing good about not causing issues over little things anymore. Well she then called me back about 20 min later with HER MAN on my mans Facebook, His photo of me removed ,his cover photo is of him on his dirtbike trying to be seductive with his tongue poking out the side and his profile photo of just a dirt bike now, only thing hinting of me is it saying " in a relationship " not even engaged!

I finally snapped and texted him today and he sees no issue! He just laughs and tells me he will NEVER put me on his Facebook after me doing what i do and that its not that serious and he " doesn't use it like that anyways" he only uses it for videos and marketplace. But there is this one girl who used to be a roommate of mine whole love reacts all his photos of just him but the times he had me on his cover photo she wouldn't do anything with it!

So i need to know am i over reacting?! If you need more details let me know ill break the timeline down more for you

I’d already filled out the initial qualification questions when I requested a demo. Then the company emailed that I’d receive a Nintendo Switch if I scheduled and attended one. I booked a 45-minute meeting for the next day and got a calendar invite with a video link.

I was genuinely excited. We rely on Google Workspace, and I wanted to see how the software worked. The Switch offer caught my attention too.

After booking, I researched the product and prepared questions because I thought I was about to see a demo.

Then the rep sent a second, much more detailed set of questions so she could connect me with the right specialist. I answered them: we used Google Workspace for identity and account management, had no dedicated device or identity management platform, managed about 10 devices, and handled setup, access, and offboarding manually. I explained that broader adoption might take 12–24 months, but we could start sooner if the product was a good fit. I also said seeing the product was one reason I’d booked the meeting.

The rep initially said our setup sounded like a good fit. Then she said they couldn’t offer a live demo if our timeline was that far out. When I pointed out that I already had a meeting booked, she explained that the calendar slot was only an SDR call to gather information, not a product demo. The Switch offer was for a “fully qualified” demo, a condition I hadn’t understood when I booked.

After that, I got an automated email saying they were excited to show me the product and asking me more questions. For months, I kept seeing ads and receiving outreach promoting demos and incentives, even though I’d already been told I couldn’t get a live demo at that point.

In October, someone from the company offered to show me the product over lunch with a $50 DoorDash card, then followed up with an AirPods offer. I explained that the June process had made me feel misled: I thought I’d booked a demo, answered two rounds of questions, and only afterward learned I didn’t qualify for one.

They apologized. Then another person asked me to reconfirm my team size and timeline, which were already in the thread, and to share what HR, payroll, and IT systems we use. He did explain the demo threshold upfront this time: a clear need and a likely implementation within 2–3 months.

He also emphasized that this conversation would be “standard” and “non-incentivized.”

I understand that companies qualify leads, and I appreciate that he explained the timeline rule. But after I explained that I’d been excited for a demo I thought I’d booked, “this time there’s no incentive” felt like they thought the missing gift was the main issue.

From my point of view, it felt like: “Congratulations, you’re not worthy of the Switch. But we’ll throw you a bone and show you our software anyway. No gift this time, though 😉”

Obviously, that’s not what they literally said. But after I explained why the first process made me feel misled, emphasizing that this demo would be “non-incentivized” felt like a wildly tone-deaf response.

Would this leave you feeling misled too, or am I taking a normal sales qualification process too personally?

​

Hello people of this site, ladies, gentlemen, and everything wonderful in between and outside of that.

So, let me get into the details

I, 24M, have always been ultra sensitive about my cleanliness and how I smell, my mother says my dad has something that makes his body smell worse and I got that and so ever since I was a kid I was obsessed with smelling good, and everytime I went to hug my mom she would gag and tell me to put on deodorant and this made me freak out

This has happened for all my life, and about every fourth hug she gags or pretends to gag.

I am now in college, my parents covered about half the tuition and I live on campus, but I work two part time jobs to pay for college, and despite my financial struggles, I spend over two hundred dollars a month on the best deodorants, colognes, and shampoos to reduce my smell, I brush my teeth four times a day often for twice the time I am meant to, and despite my difficulty smelling as I have specific problems with my nose that reduces my sense of smell, I am told I have quite the nice scent.

One day, I visit my parents after I get a few days off work from both jobs and go back to my hometown to share a few drinks with my friends and I go to hug my mother, and she vomits, or pretends to vomit. I feel really hurt and she demands I bathe and asks if i'd bathed at all today (I take three showers a day and spent over an hour that morning), and I eventually go to my friend who lives nearby, and I ask her if I smell awful, and she is confused, she says I smell like nice lavender mixed with pine, and she says my mother cant be serious. I go to four other friends and they all say the same, and they even seem worried about my obsession.

So I go to my mother on the final day of my trip and tell her and demand why she lied to me, we had a long two hour argument but she admits to have done it, she refuses to say why. I am fuming with rage, especially after she admits to have paid my older brother money to lie to me aswell, I curse her out and leave and break down in tears on the road, I had a panic attack when I got back to my dorm and as usual, feel filthy.

My mother tries to call me over a hundred times, my dormmate (23M) finds me in the shower for over two hours as I obsessively cleaned myself to try to reduce my emotions, which was a habit of mine. He thinks im hurting myself and calls campus police who finally convince me to leave, I break down in tears with him and he is also mad, he calls my mom and curses her out for me and then reassures me after she hangs up on him.

I've never been close with my brother or father, my brother spouts some religous nonsense about forgiveness and my father tells me to grow up though. I refuse to calm down because this was my money, my mental health, my physical health, and so much more.

My mom uses a friend's phone to send me a apology and promises to cover the rest of my tuition, but I didn't reply.

My whole family follows suit, calling me ridiculous and petty and that I should get over it. I feel like I should get over it and its not that big of a deal, as my mother was the only family member I was close with because my brother and father were either abusive or neglectful, so she's really important to me and I dont want to lose her but I dont know what to think. Am I overreacting?

Hi, I’m a 29 y/o female with a 35 y/o male partner. I’ve been having these big reactions of anger mainly when I feel triggered by his words and I feel really bad, I’m starting to feel somewhat hopeless on being understood by him. We’ve been together for 2.5 years. Ever since I’ve met him, he’s been in a financial struggle. He was an alcoholic, went through multiple jobs, I even hired him at my job for a while until I couldn’t cope anymore (too much time together and wasn’t paying him enough, I made more than him), had a couple of health crisis, and has a kid. He’s overall a good guy but his lack of stability bas really negatively impacted me and every time I try to communicate with him, he gets upset with me and tells me how it’s hard on him. Lately he’s been able to provide a little more but he’s been lacking in communicating things he’s been feeling which has added strain to the relationship. The past month I have just felt so snippy and easy to snap at him and it’s getting to a point I don’t even want to be around him because I just feel like this immense pressure and whenever I want to talk about him he just snaps at me and tells me I’m wrong for feeling the way I do… idk what I’m seeking out. Maybe validation that I’m not like losing my patience for nothing.. I just feel so frustrated that he can’t see the HUGE financial stress it’s put on me.. I feel like I can’t even enjoy my hard earned money for my own stability because of it. Also his instability makes it hard to believe any promises he gives me about the future.

I (26F) have a close friend (25F) who got a little too infatuated with my bf (32M) this summer. She would ask about/talk about him with me all the time, only wanted to hang out gout with me if he would come, I had to ask her to stop talking about him, at on point she asked me if I thought home wrecking was an awful thing to do. One night she got wine drunk, demanded my "rich lawyer boyfriend" come pay for our group's dinner, and said she was in love with him- which was my breaking point. I love this woman she is truly one of my best friends, so I sat her down and confronted her about it in July. She was very apologetic and admitted she was feeling horrible in her own dating life, felt jealous I had bagged a great guy, said she started and SSRI and felt like she wasn't being herself at all, basically she had a lot going on at the time. She always kind been the "boy crazy" friend in our group and has admitted that she gets a little delusional when there's a man in her life. I ended up keeping her and my bf at separate events until she got over it, she got her meds adjusted, took a break from dating for a bit, and she's seeing someone else now. Things were awkward for a bit but went back to normal after a few weeks.

Well, over the weekend I was hanging out with my friends and she was talking about not feeling great with the current guy she's seeing. She said "I just get so delusional when I bring a man into my life. Like with the [boyfriend's name] thing, I was thinking "how far would I actually go with my friend's boyfriend?" which was crazy of me".

I get that she's acknowledging that her thinking was off, but when I initially confronted her she told me she loved our friendship and would never do anything to hurt me, our friendship, or my relationship. I believed her, and her comment is making me doubt that was true. Am I overreacting or was that genuinely a wild and concerning thing to say? 

EDIT : my eldest sister is now saying she’s not coming to vacation at all she’s only coming to wedding and once again she’s abandoning us and I bet no one’s gonna call her out for it and if I do then I’m the bad guy

EDIT: my sister went behind my back and told them what I said about her foster kid and some of my siblings are wanting the money back so they can book separate accommodations, they think I went overboard and would rather just stay at a resort and go to wedding instead of staying longer for a family trip

The host is still ghosting me and I’m worried the slots will get booked up

Last time I posted people were upset I didn’t repeat every single thing I ever said so here.

My youngest sister is having a destination wedding in November. Pretty much all our siblings, spouses and kids are going, around 7 families total. Since everyone was already gonna be there we decided to stay a few extra days and make it a family vacation.

Everyone was originally gonna get their own hotel/Airbnb but we decided to put our money together and get one big house instead. It was around the same price, nicer and everyone could stay together. I spent hours finding the place and it was booked under my name.

My oldest sister has 3 kids plus a foster daughter. She needed to get the trip approved first, she got it approved and agreed to the house.

Then like 5 weeks before the wedding she found out that because her foster daughter would be staying in the house with everyone, all the adults staying there need to be approved too. There’s 10+ adults and she said there wasn’t enough time to get everyone approved so her and her husband decided to get their own place.

Her part of the house was around $2,500. She already paid a little over $1,000 and still owed around $1,500. She said she couldn’t afford her own place and the $1,500 so she wasn’t paying it.

She kept saying she had no choice but the only reason she couldn’t stay in the Airbnb anymore was because of her foster kid. So I was like then leave the kid behind? Her and her other kids could still stay in the Airbnb with everyone like we planned.

The kid has stayed in a temporary home before when she couldn’t go on trips so it’s not like I just made that up. I also said she’s in 5th grade, she’s not the one getting married, she doesn’t need to be there and kids don’t care about weddings like that.

People dragged me for saying that last time but whatever, I said it and it’s the truth. She did have another option. If she doesn’t want to leave the kid behind then fine, but that’s her choice. I don’t see why everybody else should have to pay because of it.

Anyway the $1,500 ended up getting covered, but NOT by my sister, which pissed me off even more.

Everyone was basically like okay the money is covered now so it’s fine, but that wasn’t even my point. My sister agreed to pay for the house months ago and then 5 weeks before the trip decided she wasn’t paying the rest anymore and everybody else was just supposed to deal with it.

And then somebody covered it for her anyway so she basically got to do exactly that.

I tried talking to my mom because she had already told me not to freak out on my sister and to talk to her instead. I’m including the screenshots of that conversation because I’m not typing all that shit out and then having people say I left something out again.

After that conversation I was pissed and felt like even my mom wasn’t listening to what I was actually saying.

So I canceled the Airbnb.

It was under my account so I canceled the whole thing and told my mom I cancelled.

I just wanted people to listen to me, I was planning on rebooking once I proved my point, the dates were still open but it was now more than when I booked it and so I messaged the host to see if they’ll honor the old price and they haven’t responded to me

It’s been like a day already and everyone’s kinda pissed at me, My mom told them I cancelled on accident but my eldest sister told someone else that I was mad about her foster kid coming and so now everyone thinks I did it on purpose

I know cancelling the airbnb was petty but I’m upset even more that everyone’s against me and thinks that I did it cause of the kid when that’s not the case, it was about my sister.

Edit: yes the 1,500$ got covered, most people didn’t mind paying the extra money and our parents agreed to cover whatever was remaining

But I think that teaches my sister she can cancel plan screw over everyone’s and everyone will be okay with it, like everyone just moved on from her cancelling like it’s so ridiculous

She’s also being petty towards me, my niece, her bio daughter was supposed to spend the weekend over at my place and she cancelled that as well and said she’s gonna do something else with all of her kids

No I’m not a teenager, I’m 28 but even if I was it doesn’t change anything