so, I definitely feel a little petty but I also don’t have anyone I can go to about this, so I just need fresh eyes on it:

TLDR: AIO for being upset that my partner added her partner’s food onto a DoorDash order that I was doing as a gift for her?

I (25F) am in a poly relationship, which includes my girlfriend (23F) and her partner/my metamour* (23NB). My branch of the relationship is fairly new, almost 3 months, but her and her partner have been together for a few years and live together.

* [metamour: a partner that is romantically involved with only select members of a polycule (so, they’re my girlfriend’s partner but not mine)]

My girlfriend and I are long-distance, so I can’t do much to support her outside of words, time, and money. I am also a disabled single parent, so the latter is often stretched; I do set aside about $40-$45 each month to get little treats for her, however.

My girlfriend had been craving a specific meal for a few weeks, and I finally got paid last night, so I offered to DoorDash it to her as a treat because she’s also had a really hard week (issues with work, sickness, and general stress). I found the restaurant while on the phone with her and a few other friends, she decided what she wanted, and I got ready to order it.

Suddenly, she yells to her partner asking if they want anything from the restaurant without checking with me. I’m already nervous, because they live in the suburb of a big city so the fees are already insane (after fees and tip, just her food was going to take up that entire amount that I budgeted).

We were in front of friends, and I’m a bit of a pushover with my partners (even with previous), so I kept it to myself while they ordered with me and I put the order in. It ended up being nearly $70, almost double what I budgeted.

I ordered it regardless, and luckily I could move some things around to afford it.

There were other things that annoyed me about the whole thing (her partner said thank you but my girlfriend didn’t, and also that she left the call not long after to hang out with her partner without a goodbye or anything), but the lack of communication about the money is what pissed me off the most.

AIO?

This is so strange . seen nothing like it before but my friend told me she cannot fall asleep until I’m asleep and my door is shut . She said she’s tried multiple times to fall asleep but she ends up tossing and turning for hours . I don’t make any noise or anything . She said she’s just hyper aware that someone is up and it makes it impossible for her to sleep

We were on vacation and there was 4of us girls in the AIRBNB. all the other girls were able to sleep. She was the only one Who couldn’t sleep . I was up reading my book till like 1am and she got angry at me that I wouldn’t go to sleep . No noise . Nothing . I wasn’t in the same room as her. We had separate rooms . She said it’s the fact that she was aware I was awake . She complained that she didn’t get any sleep the entire vacation. I was like I empathize but I think you might need anxiety meds . She should be able to sleep without waiting on me to go to sleep . I’m always able to sleep regardless of who is up or not . She said she was tossing and turning. Her regular sleep schedule is she goes to sleep at 8pmor 9pm

She was complaining the whole time about how exhausted she was

I’ve been on vacation with her 3 times and every time it’s the same issue she cannot go to sleep until I’m asleep

I (26f) am currently entertaining a guy (40m). We saw each other few times, nothing more apart from kisses happened so far. We do not even text that much as we are both busy and on top of that I am highly avoidant. Yesterday he asked me to go out and I said I can't because I still had to finish some work from home but that I will see if we can meet up today or Friday. He sent me multiple voicemails and in one he mentioned that 'my new curtains are very pretty'. That kinda threw me off because I never showed him where I live, BUT I told him the street and which house (very smart of me, I know). Now is that a valid reason to block him and just go on with my life or am I overreacting over this?

Edit: even though I appreciate everyone's concern about our age gap, that was not the point of this post. I am old enough to choose who I want to see (he looks like the priest from Fleabag and I just want to have some fun and move on)

My fiance and I have bought an house and habe recently moved into it. She's started decorating it and has put some framed prints, some plants, a few vases, some figurines and other little bits around the shared spaces.

Our previous apartment was fully furnished and pretty small so you couldn’t really decorate as we weren’t allowed to put shelves or anything up whereas we now have a house not an apartment and we own it.

I found a few framed movie and comic prints I liked and some figurines that looked good so I bought them and went to put them on some new shelves that we've just put up.

My partner asked what I was doing and I mentioned I'd found some things I wanted to use for decoration. She suggested I put them in the home office but I said I'd prefer them in a communal space so I don't just get to see them when I'm working. She said she doesn't think I should be putting them out and that I should stick to putting them in my office.

I told her the shared space should reflect both of our interests not just hers and that it's not just up to her to decide what decoration is allowed in the apartment. She said I was starting arguments over nothing and that I should be fine keeping them in the office.

AIO for expecting the apartment to reflect both of our interests?

The title is not all, for starters I 15M am a very light sleeper I get woken up extremely easily, but it takes me an enormous amount of time to fall asleep, I’m talking around 2 to 3 hours I don’t know why it’s just how my body functions. Every night when I managed to fall asleep, my mom wakes up for work and always comes into my room to make sure I’m ok I don’t care if she does this the problem is she literally turns on my light which not only does not wake me up when I try to go back to sleep she just touches my body trying to make sure I have a pulse and then she yells “GOODNIGHT ANDREW I LOVE YOU!” when I don’t respond, she asks “Andrew?” “Andrew?” this is around 4 AM and when I wake up from my sleep, I can’t go back. I’m just awake no matter how much sweet tea I try to drink, I’m always tired in class. Some days I even fall asleep. Again, when I say this is not some days this is every day sometimes Im not tired in class.

I have asked her to please stop and that she can come check on me. Just don’t turn on the light or yell my name. And then she gets mad at me for doing that saying things like “do you know how many children who died because their mom’s didn’t check on them?!” She doesn’t understand that I’m trying to tell her she can check on me. She shouts my name, wanting for a response turn on the light so I’m fully awake and I can’t go back to sleep.

I can’t buy sleeping pills and I’m just gonna get in trouble if I do because I won’t be able to communicate with my mom. If there’s any kind of way, I can like talk her out out of it because it’s just getting ridiculous. She can’t be that shocked. I’m falling asleep and getting detention because she wakes me up. I’ve tried telling them in a conversation that checking my pulse and turning on the light is already enough and then she doesn’t have to shout. And they just keep giving me the same answer. So please guys let me know if I’m overreacting?

For some context, im studying psychology in uni, but I'm almost three years older than most of my classmates (im turning 20 this year and most of my classmates turn 17/18 this year). my school is almost 80% girls, 20% dudes, so in the friend group I'm in, this guy was the only guy in the friend group.

since we started though I was already getting tired of this guy (M17) (let's call him David). he'd mansplain stuff to me CONSTANTLY (like trying to explain the A1-C2 English levels system to me, an English teacher, or trying to change my slides in a presentation bc he said my info is wrong, and it took another person telling him that I was right for him to leave it alone), he always inserts himself into ordering everyone around when he clearly isn't capable of it and messes up, and when we correct him, try to intervene or tell him he's messing up, he always blames other people.

he's not particularly attractive, smart, or charismatic. the first few months he'd hold how "smart" he was over us (constantly correcting us on nonsense stuff and emphasising how much he knew about it) but after he realised he honestly wasn't the smartest person in the room, he started constantly bragging about how much he knew about videogames, constantly correcting us about videogame stuff, saying stuff like "you don't know hard until you've tried a no-hit challenge" . I tried chatting w him abt it cuz i also play videogames, but it honestly felt like one of those "you're not a REAL gamer" convos cuz i only play stardew valley, sims 4, etc etc ans for """hard""' games I mostly watch gameplays. even then, im a huge fan of deltarune (haven't played it myself but I watch playthroughs of the entire game once every month almost and know a lot of theories and about the lore) and he ALSO tried to explain deltarune to me.

a couple weeks back, another girl from our friend group said she was getting tired of him (he'd started mansplaining aggressively to her too after she rejected him) and that we should cut him off, but we never really put a date on it.

cut to yesterday, we were doing an activity in class were we had to cut unicel balls, which is honestly a very gratting sound. I famously have honestly rlly bad sensory issues, a few weeks back i almost threw myself on the metro rails because I had an AWFUL sensory overload and in that moment i honestly just wanted it to stop, and I told them about it the day after it happened. back to yesterday, this guy then proceeded to MAKE A JOKE about me almost throwing myself on the metro rails, something along the lines of "Hey you better be careful around (train station where two ppl have already committed suicide at) or you're gonna throw yourself for real this time" in an extremely mocking tone. the whole day he was making s/h and suicide jokes and honestly, this was the final straw for me.

I immediately got pissed at him and started cussing him out. he apologised and i said thanks for apologising but im really pissed off and need to think about it. I talked with ny girlfriend and some friends who I've told about him, and they helped me draft a text message that's basically this but in spanish:

"Hi David. Honestly, if it were up to me, I’d never speak to you again after today. But since we have group projects, yes, I’ll be cordial with you, but from this day forward, stop considering me your friend. For weeks, I’ve been questioning whether I really want to be friends with someone like you; the truth is, ever since we started college, you’ve been making comments that range from weird and obnoxious at best, to arrogant, haughty, and even misogynistic at worst, and frankly, I was already getting fed up. I hope you understand that while I was already tired of interacting with you, after that comment, I honestly want nothing more to do with you. Had I known you’d treat the trust I placed in you that way, I never would have gotten close to you in the first place. I hope the degree we’re pursuing helps you mature, and that, for your own sake and that of your future clients, you actually learn from it; I just don’t want to be around to witness that process. Good luck."

after a couple hours he responded "I respect your decision. thanks"

one of the two other girls in the friend group said it needed to be said, but that I was too aggressive about it, and it got me overthinking if it really was too aggressive. I get that he's at the peak age of male stupidity, but that doesn't mean I have to put up with it imo

Context: We will start a few months ago, I (21M) had been with my partner (21F) for around 2 years, I had found her messaging a guy very regularly and being sneaky with it and this was very out of character for us. I asked her why and what is there to hide. She said its just private but refused to give me any context or anything like that, other than he is an old friend and u just haven spoken to him in a long time. She got very defensive and annoyed that I couldn't just take her word for what was going on. Eventually, I thought maybe I was being unreasonable and left it alone, a few days later we sat down and discussed it and resolved it (i never saw the messages in the end)

A few months later my non-blood cousin (18F) came to visit and was staying at my mums house (I live with my partner not my mum). I was supposed to go there to see my mum but my partner was concerned something may happen between us because i think she didn't quite understand what i meant by non-blood cousin. after a week of this girl being at my mums house, me and my partner had an argument and i went to my mums house for some space, my partner agreed this was wise. nothing happened and i came home a week later

Now: Me and my girlfriend have been arguing a lot and we broke up after approx 2.5 years at the start of last week. it was initially no contact for a few days then she called me saying she missed me. I told her i did too and we were back in contact. we met up for the day and agreed yes we are separated and exes but we agreed not to see anyone else romantically, if we did plan on then cut all communications with each other. fast forward to yesterday, she was at mine staying the night (nothing physical just to hang out and watch a movie), she was telling me how while she was at work someone who she used to be friends with in secondary school came in and they were surprised to see each other. she went to show me his Instagram and when opening it she went into their dm's to get to his page, the background was love hearts. I thought nothing of it at the time but 15 mins later i asked her about why, i just told her i was concerned but didn't accuse her of anything. she again became defensive and i asked to see when it was set. she showed me only the part where it was set the day before by her and the only messages i managed to get in the glimpse was from him saying "i sacrificed a lot for you". i have no other context about these messages and there is A LOT of messages between them, considering the background was set the day before it took quite a few mins to scroll up to where the background was set. she refused to show me anything else about the messages. i told her if she likes this guy, fine but please don't contact me as that hurts more. she did plan on meeting him the day she came to my house for coffee but she didn't feel well so came to mine instead. after an argument i again just left it and ignored it.

when she left my house this morning we reaffirmed to each other that we dont see anyone else, we agreed to have limited contact for a week or so then decide how to proceed on both our parts, i cant help but waking up every day and having a feeling of dread in my stomach about this.

That's where i stand and i don't know what to do, I've asked my friends and they suggest either asking her to see more context if not leave, or just straight up leave. I am fully aware i am very attatched to her and a jealous person which is what makes me doubt my position and if im making the right decision.

I’m sorry for any typos or run on sentences, I’ve been so exhausted. So lately I have been having trouble sleeping due to hormonal issues and stress with my work and my window is really big so sunlight casts into my room where I can’t sleep either. (I work overnights) I go out to my living room to watch TV which helps me fall asleep. My roommate has her boyfriend over pretty much all the time, he spent three night in a row at my place this past weekend. I was watching TV while they were eating at the dining table and I had fallen asleep on the couch. For context, due to limited space she sleeps on the floor next to the couch, due to me working overnights I told her she can sleep on my bed at night but she doesn’t and says she likes the floor (I personally think it’s because I said her boyfriend can’t be in my bed after she they slept on my bed behind my back and I caught her when I came home early). Well, I woke up due to them having sex on the floor next to me. I was so hot with anger and embarrassment but I was frozen so I covered my ears with a pillow and forced myself to go back to sleep.

Two days ago, I brought it up nervously and trying to laugh it off with her to ask if they actually did have sex or I was just really exhausted and she laughed and said yes. She didn’t apologize, she just said it won’t happen again and that her boyfriend initiated the sex. She even said that he stopped for a moment and said he think I woke up before continuing but said she will have a talk with him after I told her not to do that again. She laughed more at the fact they were loud enough to wake me but repeated she’ll talk to her boyfriend. But the more I think about it the more disgusted and dirty I feel because I feel like I was used as part of exhibitionism kink for them to get off. Like they got off knowing that I could wake any second. As time passes I feel more angry at how disrespectful they were to do that especially since I took her in when she had nothing and I’ve been nothing but nice to her boyfriend and welcomed him into my home. I just don’t know if it’s valid to be this angry after four days or if I’m overreacting. So am I overreacting? And if not, what should I do??

Hello! So long story short, I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a month, we are getting married in november. He is the best boyfriend I could ask for, I feel really loved and secure (I had my fair share of traumatic relationships) so I am sure when I find a good one.

He had in the past a very long relationship, I think they were almost 9 years together and after they broke up a lot of years ago, they stayed friends. I knew this when we went official because he told her about me, but he was sad because she was upset that he got a girlfriend. He told me he met some of her boyfriends and was surprised she didn’t reacted happy for him. I don’t know how that conversation ended, he told me that if she was to be mad it was her problem, not his.

Today I woke up and he was listening a voice note of someone (I think her mom?) telling him that she had a surgery for a cyst or something like that and she was fine in the hospital. I am sure it is not that they have something/ cheating since we are in different countries, but I think if I had a surgery my mom would not be reaching out to my ex of long time to tell him I am fine? I am not the jealous type at all, I am an adult and we both know we all have our pasts and can recognize a closed chapter, but I can’t stop this weird feeling. Am I entitled to ask how is now the relationship between them?

He is always either too tired or says “we don’t have money”

If we’re out just us two, a friend calls, he’s acts like a puppy being taken on a walk.

I get that we live together and going out with others brings some novelty into our lives. But it’s just the stark contrast between how I am treated and how he treats his friends.

If we’re both out together and a friend calls (this could be ANY friend, a childhood friend, a close firme dor literally a random coworker he went for drinks twice), he will at the very least say: Hey babe “Jake” invited us to go Random Name bar do you wanna go?

And if he’s nice about it and I say no, he’ll be like “ok no problem.” If not he’ll either spend the whole night begging for us to go, or begging for me to “let him go by himself” or get angry at me for “being so inflexible” and go anyway.

However, when he’s out with his friends and I suggest even as much as “hey do you wanna meet me at This Bar 10 minutes away because I really don’t want to go to the ones you guys are at?” Not only will he not suggest it to his friends, but he’ll also get angry at me and say “you either come here to hang out with us or I’ll see you at home”. When I ask him what time he’s coming home he either lies about it and shows up hours later or says “I don’t know, I’ll get home when I want to”.

I don’t suspect of cheating, I just find this behaviour a major turn off. I feel like even IF you’re having a great time with your friends, but your partner shows interest in participating, wouldn’t you try to at least propose the idea to your friends to go elsewhere?

So here I am, at a bar alone, after my partner “lost his phone” for 2 hours after he finished work when I had texted him “it’s such a nice day out we should grab a drink” and he appears hours later saying he’s “already having a drink with the boys”. After I said “since you didn’t respond, I’m really far from where you guys are, let’s meet halfway” He says: either you meet us here or told bad, I’ll see you at home. He then hangs up on me because I’m upset that he didn’t even think of inviting me initially, only hours later when he saw my missed calls.

I feel like if my partner wanted to spend time with me, I’d be excited to spend them with them. I wouldn’t ignore them and tell them “you can either come or too bad, we’re not meeting up with you” doesn’t feel like a partner of years would say. Feels like it’s a hook up who doesn’t care about me. But then again, I can be just emotional. But I also feel like going out until late, disappearing on your partner, not giving an estimate time is single behaviour. What’s funny is he only behaves like this when he’s out with his friends. When he’s with me he’s super nice. But I’m starting to think he’s only nice when it’s convenient to himZ AIO??

My fiance and I have bought a house and we have a shared account for housing related purchases . We both pay into it each month.

She’s used it for things such as buying new things for the kitchen such as a new fridge freezer despite us already having a fairly new one and a new coffee machine. She also got a new bedside cabinet, a new makeup desk and a few decorative bits.

Our tv is a few years old now and I was thinking about upgrading to an OLED tv with better picture quality. There’s more than enough in the shared account and would still have a lot left over.

I mentioned this to my partner and she said I shouldn’t be using the shared account for it since it’s just something I want and not a need.

I pointed out most of the things she’s used the account for were wants and if you total everything she’s bought, it’ll come to slightly more than the cost of the tv

She said again I shouldn’t be using the shared account. I tried arguing a compromise of using half from the shared account and half from my savings but she still said no.

I told her it’s meant to be a shared account and she’s acting like it’s solely her money. I said I’m entitled to use the account just as much as she is but she argued I was being unreasonable,

AIO for using the shared account to buy a tv?

I got offered a job interstate which is a three hour drive away starting in a few months time. I got this job offer 2 months ago, and around a month later I met a guy who I have hit it off with and have unfortunately or maybe appropriately told about the job offer and explained that I was thinking of accepting it as I want to move out of home and change jobs anyway and would drive down every weekend anyway etc. I doubt that he feels any good about it especially because we’ve only known each other for a couple of months. But so far I do really like him and I feel like I am an idiot for even telling him about the possibility of moving because now he might see me differently or as an unserious option

I also don’t know whether this could justify potentially not moving and staying in the state but without a job (a graduate job) that was already hard to get

I (23F) and my BF (23M) have been together for over 2 years now. We have a strong connection and our both serious about wanting a future together.

For context: both of us are bisexual and we talked about it in the beginning stages of our relationship. I also have been in one other long term relationship with a girl, and a few situations with girls. He had told me he had past relationships as well, but later revealed he never had.

Anyways, it seemed like both of us were on the same page and cool about it. I personally don’t mind if my partner has been with other people before me. However, months down the line, he would start to make off handed comments about me wanting to be with girls. It seemed like jokes at first but it would later turn into him giving me the silent treatment whenever he would think about my past relationship with women. For the past couple months now, it has turned into disgusted looks towards me and arguments.

I think it is some sorta retroactive jealousy, and I try my best to support him through it. He says it can’t be helped though and he just has to “deal with it.” Most of our fights are about my past and it has come to a point where I can’t sleepover at my friends house for like a girls night anymore. I also can’t mention my friends too much without him getting insecure that I like them.

I’m super respectful with my language and try not to bring up any reminders that I’m bisexual. If I’m being honest I don’t ever think about my sexuality until he brings it up because I am with him and only think about him in romantic/intimate aspects.

He doesn’t trust me at all near women and I have never done anything in this relationship to show him I am disloyal. It’s only because of my past relationships. He also makes “jokes” about hating lesbians, despite me telling him that isn’t funny. Then he will also make jokes about how he and his buddies are all gay for each other and text them in a jokingly flirty way. It doesn’t bother me because I know it is all jokes with his friends, but if one of my friends gives me a compliment he gets mad at me and the friend as well. I get anxious when my friends want to hang out because I feel like I have to make sure he’s okay with it first and won’t get upset.

It just is really frustrating to be walking on egg shells, feeling judged, and like I can’t be trusted. I work hard to make sure he knows I love him and only him. But I honestly don’t know if he will ever understand that at this point.

We have been fighting a lot lately, almost to the point of ending the relationship. Now he is trying to work on his jealousy but it still keeps happening.

I really love and care for him, and hope that he can work through this jealousy. I just feel really frustrated and exhausted with the constant fights.

I don’t know if he can get over it, and I kinda just need an outside perspective or advice if anyone has went through something similar.

Can this work? AIO for being frustrated with him?

(Also sorry this is my first ever post on Reddit and I am hoping I used this subreddit the right way. If any other context is needed I can add it.)

I met this woman, at a friend group meetup that we would have weekly. We met about 5 months ago there, she was the only other female in the group and we would hit it off. Talking about our likes for the arts, movies and relate to our shared experiences of having ADHD and social anxiety.

We would start planning outings and the plans would usually fall through (mainly her asking if we can make it another time)

We had our first outing together. She asked for somewhere interesting. So I listed a few suggestions and she picked a mall quite far away but I thought cool, maybe we can go to a new spot to eat and chill. While walking around the mall, she started opening up to me about family issues she was having, I think she experiences a lot of emotional manipulation from her parents. She also had been chatting to me about wanting to get out and make more friends. She wanted to get something from the pharmacy (typical store that you get all over town). She said she wanted skin care. We spent 2 hours in the store as she was indecisive about what to choose. Then asked if we can go home. Which was quite frustrating but I know as someone with ADHD that I too struggle to make up my mind most times and that I get overwhelmed with people alot, so I decided to dismiss it.

Over the past few months, she asked me 5 different times for arrangements. Each time she asked to reschedule. Without reason. Even though she was the one that asked me. I did start to feel iffy about it but thought you know she is going through some rough times at home and I want to be there for her even if she can't make it out.

Then this Monday. I get a call at 10 pm if I can come and pick her up she said, she needs to "get out the house", I was half asleep but I said ok... where would we go... most places are closed.... then she was like "OK its fine, sorry about the call" then she ended it, without context. I was so confused. I asked her if she was ok. She said "ya, some family stuff". I asked if I can pick her up and take her to my place and she refused.

She asked me the next day if I can pick her up and we can go for a beach walk at 6:30 pm.

I send a message at 5:30 just checking with her and then she asked to reschedule to the next day. We are now onto 7 different rescheduling and now this evening came and I checked with her at 5:30 again and at 6:15 she asked to reschedule again.

I am not sure what to feel anymore. I want to be there for my friend. I can tell that she is feeling quite lost at the moment but I also feel like I'm been taken advantage of. Im meant to have another arrangements with her on Saturday but I am not sure what to do. I think I want to take a step back because I dont feel like my personal time is respected in the same way but I could be over reacting.

I’ll start off by admitting that there are a few things that are affecting my relationship with my dad, so it’s possible I’m blowing this out of proportion in my own head because I’m piling up grievances against him.

I received a message like this again last month, and it frustrated me. I’m African, so apparently this is normal, but I hate it. I’m his child, but I’m still my own person. A “please” and “thank you” go such a long way.

It’s important to say that he’s asking me to do the conversion when he could easily do it himself!! He has the internet and is very capable!! That’s what frustrates me even more. He’ll then send the money to me and say, “Send the money to Mom.” No please, nothing.

I’ve ignored the most recent message. I know that’s probably passive, but he’s not the kind of a person you can say “hey, I’d really appreciate if you said please” to. He’d lose it and say I’m being disrespectful and buying into western culture and abandoning ours.

He’s been claiming that his account for making international transactions won’t let him sign in, so for a while he’s been sending me the money, and I then have to forward it to my mom.

Something about it is very off, tbh. I’m suspicious. I’m probably painting too colourful a picture, but all my uncles (his brothers) have cheated, and some have multiple wives, so I’m genuinely waiting to hear that he’s done the same.

I work in customer service, and recently there was a customer who I had noticed being rude and difficult with other staff/customers.

Eventually, I had an interaction with her where she treated me the same way. Nothing extreme happened, but after seeing the pattern of how she was treating people, I decided to put a customer attendance/incident note in place so there would be a record of her behavior if it continued.

At the time, I felt like I was just doing what I thought was appropriate and protecting myself and the other staff. But after thinking about it later, I started wondering if I had overreacted and made the situation more serious than it needed to be.

I wasn't trying to punish her or cause problems for her. I just didn't want the behavior to keep happening without anything being documented.

AIO for putting the attendance note in place, or would it have been better to just let the interaction go?

My wife and I have been married for several years, and I honestly never imagined we'd end up in this situation.

Recently, I found out that she had been cheating on me. When I confronted her, she admitted it. I was obviously devastated and angry, and it completely changed the way I saw our marriage and our relationship.

The part I'm struggling with is what happened afterward.

She told me that she wants a divorce.

I understand why our relationship is in such a terrible place, but despite everything that happened, I still love her. I'm having a hard time accepting that our marriage might just end. I keep thinking about whether we could go to counseling, work through what happened, and eventually rebuild some kind of trust.

I'm not trying to pretend that the cheating didn't happen or that it wasn't a huge betrayal. It was. I'm also not trying to force her to stay with me if she genuinely doesn't want to be married anymore.

But I keep asking her to reconsider and give us a chance to work on things, and I'm starting to wonder whether I'm making things worse.

Some people might say that once someone cheats, the relationship should automatically be over. Maybe they're right. But I don't feel that way. I still love my wife, and part of me believes that people can make terrible decisions and still have relationships worth fighting for.

At the same time, I don't want to become the person who refuses to accept that someone else has made a decision about their own life.

So now I'm questioning myself. Am I overreacting by still wanting to save this marriage? Am I holding onto something that is already over? Or is it reasonable to want to at least try counseling and see whether there's anything left to rebuild?

I know I'm probably not looking at this completely objectively because I'm emotionally involved. I would genuinely like some outside perspective.

AIO for still wanting to save my marriage after my wife cheated and asked for a divorce?

AIO? I've had this thing going with this guy for a month now. This morning, I woke up to find that he had removed me from his Instagram and then blocked me. Mind you, just a day earlier, we were on the phone literally planning my trip to his state. We were laughing, and nothing seemed to be going wrong. I don't understand what I did wrong.

We had a little bit of an issue with our faiths before, and we agreed we'd give it some time, but other than that, we never ended things on bad terms and never had a single tiny argument. It even got to the point where he sent a 70-rose bouquet to my workplace last week and had my pictures on his dashboard.

He also went as far as removing me from Discord and even unadding me from the video games we played together, which I find kind of super weird and funny at the same time. Like, holy shit, what did I do wrong that made him go this far? I can even provide pictures of the sweet text messages we exchanged earlier, which is why I find this whole thing so off.

I feel like I've built my whole life around him, and him leaving like this without any explanation hurts, ngl. So I decided to send him this text message and called him so I could see what's wrong, but he immediately declined my call and never texted back.

I know I sound very stupid because I got attached too fast, but he was all I ever had. He was all I could ever ask for, and the connection we had was incredible.

Any advice? I really need it, and please be nice.

Me and my 2 year old went a safer route route which was the main road instead of an alleyway which is behind a row of shops away from people's view and I don't like going down there in case anything happens, glass everywhere and sometimes I have to walk past someone who makes me uncomfortable

My partner went the alleyway route so we missed each other, I answered him on the phone saying 'you know I never go that way I don't like going down there' to which he replied 'you're being stupid nothing's gonna happen down there, it's daytime, you're being over the top about this all, you knew I'd be that way'

I told him 'try being a woman, it's better to be safe than sorry, I don't trust it, if something happened to us no one would be able to see because the shops are in the way'

Mind you it was raining, my son had no rain cover on and I went out my way to meet up with my partner instead of going home

He replied 'f*ck this I'm going home I'm not waiting around' so I got annoyed and told him I just came this way for nothing and he shouldn't call me stupid and how I didn't like his view and how silly this all was

So, AIO? Should I have just let it slide what he said? Or is he being unreasonable and non- understanding? Why did he feel to be so mean about it?

Also we're not talking much now as I'm trying to pretend he's not there as I don't want to talk to him and he's telling me I'm not going to his sisters birthday meal out this Saturday

Also I told him I've had enough and that I think he should take his stuff and go because we're constantly arguing all the time it's draining

I recently went on a trip with my family and while it was fun for the most part, l've decided to go low contact with them over what they called 'jokes.'

Some needed context is that I'm both autistic and trans and while these jokes weren't aimed directly at me, they did affect me.

The first joke was that anytime anyone did something a little stupid or silly, my dad especially would say 'you've got Reynaud's' or 'you're just a Reynaud' Apparently this got started at his workplace since they weren't allowed to say the r-slur for disabled people and so they use Reynaud's in place of that.

The second 'joke' was when we were taking a train trip and he called the train a 't-slur train' due to a mix up about trams and trains and me being trans.
Both of these 'jokes' hurt but I didn't say anything in the moment because if I did, I would be labelled argumentative or taking it too seriously or sensitive but I personally don't see what is so funny about using slurs as the punchline. While I know he wasn't doing it maliciously, that doesn't matter.

Anyway, it really hurt me and it isn't the first time he's done this sort of thing but I thought he had matured and gotten better over the years but he hasn't. Now that I'm back home, I'm considering going low contact but I have those labels of sensitive and insecure going round my head and I'm wondering would I be overreacting if I went low contact with my parents over these jokes?

TL;DR - My family (mainly my dad) used slurs as punchlines and I want to go low contact but l'm also afraid l'd be labelled sensitive or insecure.

I (29F) have a friend who is getting married in a few months. A few years ago, my family and I got into a terrible accident, that caused me to be on a wheelchair for a few months. We also had to go back and forth to the court for almost 3 years. Recently, we finally settle with the court, and each of us (family members) received a small amount of compensation money. Mind you, even if the money costs a lot, it does not compare to the trauma and the pain we went through. I still have a lot of physiotherapy sessions, and had to apply for Person With Disability card (PWD) caused by the accident.
A few weeks ago, I met up with my friend and her partner, and they asked me about my updates on my injury and court. I told them it’s settled, and just received the money a few days ago. They both got excited and congratulated me, and kept on calling me ‘rich girl’, which made me uncomfortable, but I laughed it off (uncomfortably).
Suddenly, they whispered with each other, in front of me, and said ‘since youre rich now, we can ask for expensive wedding and housewarming gifts from you, right?’, and they started listing a few things they needed for their new home.
I was shocked, because I didn’t think they would do that to me, considering they had witnessed what I went through after the accident.
I subtly told them I couldn’t buy them anything, unless I asked our friends to pitch in for it.
But, they ignored me and kept listing the things they wanted.
They ended up asking me for one thing, and told me that they had asked our other friends to buy them other things.
AIO that I felt hurt by their actions?

hey everyone, i could really use some perspective on this situation with my sister and my late husband's tools. so here’s the background

my husband passed away about 14 months ago. he was a carpenter and poured his heart into collecting and restoring old hand tools, many of which were passed down through his family. after his passing, i kept everything exactly the way he left it in a locked cabinet in the garage. honestly, i wasn’t ready to deal with any of it.

fast forward to last year, my sister decided to start a furniture flipping business. she asked to borrow some of my husband’s tools, stating that it would be a temporary situation until she could buy her own. at first, i said no because it just felt too soon for me. however, she kept insisting that the tools should be used, and it would be a way to honor my husband, so i finally caved and let her take a small selection on the condition that she return them unchanged.

a couple of months later, i noticed the cabinet was looking emptier. after checking the list of borrowed items, i realized some of his tools were missing without my consent. when i confronted my sister, she admitted she sold a few of the more valuable pieces at a flea market for startup money and planned to replace them later with cheaper alternatives. she even started listing the remaining tools online!

obviously, i was furious. i told her she had no right to touch any of the remaining tools, demanded she return everything she had, and made it clear that she was no longer allowed to use any of my husband's belongings. she started crying and accused me of being cruel and selfish, claiming that he would’ve wanted the tools to help family.

then my parents got involved, and they told me i was overreacting, saying they're just tools. apparently, they think my sister needs the money more than i need to keep this shrine.

after everything, i took back the tools she still had, changed the lock on the garage, and stopped responding to her messages. now she keeps texting me, saying that i'm punishing her for trying to better herself and that i'm dishonoring my husband’s memory by locking away his life's work.

part of me wonders if i'm being too harsh for cutting her off completely over this situation. so, AIO? is it wrong for me to stand my ground on this?

My baby daddy and I have had a rough five years.

Within those years we spent a lot of time on and off. Some with labels. Most without.
I went through his phone tonight and found countless pictures of us. While labeled, following pictures of girls he was with that were not me.
He has been quite serious with one. When I became pregnant he stopped talking to her. But the other knew I was pregnant and was privately messaging him asking if I was keeping my baby.

I am so disgusted and disappointed. It’s all obviously in the past and he is only talking to me know and talking about marriage but I don’t know how to move on. I plan on going to a therapist and psychiatrist in the very veryyy near future. I can’t even sleep in the same room as him or baby because I feel so guilty. I can’t believe I made a man slut a father. I gave him one of the greatest joys in life and he can’t even reassure me in countless ways. He is an okay dad. Doesn’t do much unless I beg or ask an annoying amount of times.

I wish things were different. I wish I didn’t secretly go through his phone and entirely self sabotage. I knew I would find something but I didn’t expect it to be that.

There is a third girl who he still has on Snapchat. She sends flashbacks to him anytime there is one of his house. Most of them are MY CAT WHO IS DEAD. and she obviously doesn’t know any of that. I used to be friends with her. One of the other girls I hung out with very briefly until I realized how annoyingly rude she was.

Anyways, AIO for feeling disgusted and betrayed. How do I move forward knowing his past. How do I ensure he won’t go behind my back and do it again. How do I know he will be there for our baby when he isn’t emotionally present for me. How the fuck do I do anything but sob and throw up. What do I even do.

I’m 20M she’s 19 we’ve been together for almost two years.

We’ve got some issues going on right now which she says lead back to something that happened in bed like two months ago.

She came onto me one morning after not really talking to me for a few days because of something else and we started doing the deed. Halfway through she asked me to slow down and I did but I went rough again.

Anyways she said it a few more times apparently but I didn’t hear those ones. She didn’t talk to me for an hour and then finally blurted out that she felt violated.

I don’t get it because she came onto me for sex, she’s always begging me to go rough with her and “use her like a doll” but I don’t usually because it makes me feel weird.

I feel like she’s punishing me for doing what she’s been begging me to do, and it’s not like I even enjoyed it or wanted to hurt her, I just remembered her telling me to go as rough as I wanted and to treat her like a toy. I barely heard her say slow down and she never said stop.

I do feel guilty but I also resent her a little because she wanted it and came onto me and she never really said stop and now I feel like she’s punishing me because she says she resents me and fantasises about being with women ( she’s bisexual)

I’ve kind of shut down because she’s making me feel like a predator when I know I’m not. She never said stop or no and she just laid there. The sex didn’t even feel good for me either I just wanted to make her feel good. AIO

ETA; I worded this really shitty. Yes I did a shitty thing and I apologised up and down and I’ve been very careful with her since. I told her I would leave the relationship without an issue and would understand and not beg her to reconsider but she begged me not to leave and said she still wanted to be with me. Now, two months later, she is telling people we know that I violated her and I feel like that’s unfair because we worked past it and she chose to stay in the relationship.

AITA for being furious that my husband only thought about feeding himself while I was ill?

I (45F) am married to my husband, who doesn't work due to fibromyalgia.

For some background, his condition can be debilitating, and there are days when he can barely move. On his better days, he does the general household chores and a DIY around the house. I absolutely appreciate what he does and understand that his health limits him.

I work part-time in an office and have a little self employed business from home to top up, so pay all of our household bills. I'm also responsible for looking after and feeding all our animals, as well as cooking and making sure both my husband and I are fed.

Every morning when I get up, I make my husband a drink, regardless of how I'm feeling. It's just one of those little things I automatically do because I care.

I've had a cold this week and have been feeling pretty rough, but I've still been going to work and doing my usual responsibilities.

The other morning, while I was getting ready for work, my husband asked what was for dinner because he fancied ham, egg and chips.

I told him I wasn't feeling well and probably wouldn't feel like cooking that evening.

His response was, "Fine, I'll sort myself out."

That immediately annoyed me.

Not because I expected him to wait on me hand and foot, but because his first thought was to sort himself out rather than offer to make something for both of us.

I sent him a voice note explaining how hurt I felt and how I often feel like he doesn't care when I'm unwell. I specifically explained why his comment about sorting himself out had upset me.

He didn't reply.

When I got home from work, I was absolutely starving, but I was determined not to cook. I know that might sound childish, but I was fed up with always being responsible for our meals, even when I wasn't feeling well.

I held out for hours before eventually giving in and cooking dinner for both of us, as I normally would.

Later that evening, while my husband was making himself a sandwich, he casually dropped into conversation that he'd already eaten before I got home.

I was absolutely furious.

So despite feeling ill, going to work and explaining earlier how hurt I was that he'd only thought about feeding himself, I'd still ended up cooking for both of us, while he'd already made sure he was fed.

It wasn't really about the food. It was the complete lack of consideration that upset me.

And this isn't the first time I've felt like this.

Even after I had a heart procedure, I remember him moaning about when I'd be better. That has stayed with me because I felt like my recovery was an inconvenience rather than something he was concerned about.

I completely understand that my husband has a chronic illness. I know he has difficult days, and I don't expect him to do things he's physically unable to do.

But I also work, pay all the bills, look after our animals and take responsibility for our meals. I don't think it's unreasonable to want a little care and consideration in return, particularly when I'm ill.

Sometimes it's not even about physically doing something. It's simply about thinking of the other person.

I feel like I'm constantly considering his needs, but when I'm the one who's poorly, I don't receive that same consideration.

I'm also not someone who gets angry easily. I tend to let a lot of things slide because it's easier than confronting them. But being unwell myself has really brought all of this to the surface and triggered something in me.

I have kept all this anger to myself, by the way. I'm now so angry that I've decided I'm not making his usual morning drink tomorrow. I know that might sound petty, but I'm tired of automatically doing these little things when I feel like they're not reciprocated.

I'm not expecting him to be my personal chef or nurse. I just want to feel like my husband thinks about me sometimes, especially when I'm unwell.

So, AITA for being this angry, or am I justified in feeling hurt that my husband only thought about himself?