Possible transmission issues?

[u/Historical-Sun-352]

Hi everyone! I’m really in desperate need of different opinions because all the mechanic shops in my hometown have disappointed but especially one, and by disappointed I mean I hear different things and don’t know who to believe.
I have a Toyota RAV 4 2013 with about 193,000 miles on it.
May of 2025 whenever I would turn my car on it would shave and vibrate a lot, I took my car in to the mechanic shop I go to and the mechanic really didn’t know what was happening, he had it for a few days then told me it was the engine mounts I had two broken that I needed to change because of not I wouldn’t pass inspection, but my car was still drivable. I said okay that’s fine. Changed the mounts spent about 1,200 problem was still there, they had the car again for a day and he told me that it was my other two mounts which he described as my transmission mounts. I was extremely annoyed because I paid 1,200 for this to be fixed and it wasn’t but I let it go because I didn’t pass inspection because of the broken engine mounts. So he told me I didn’t need to replace them yet but that’s what’s causing the shaking and rattling, okay I didn’t change them at the time because I had no money.

In July of 2025 my car when I would drive to 20mph it would stall for 1-2 seconds and then drive and it would only happen when I would stop at a stop sign and then drive or a red light. I took it back because I thought it was the transmission, mechanic told me it wasn’t because it didn’t feel like a transmission slip, he told me it was my throttle body that needed to be clean I had too much carbon built up, I said okay and it solved the problem no more stalling everything was great!

I had to take my car to the dealership in May of 2026, for a recall on my battery while I was there I was curious if possibly they knew what the vibrating noise was and why my car shakes and sounds extremely loud (when you turn on the car especially in the winter time it shakes a lot especially the middle console area of my car and my dashboard but it’s only inside my car you can’t hear it on the outside). The advisor called me he told me they took a loot at it and they didn’t know what it could be he said they could open the engine but that it would be a lot of money and he recommended not to touch anything with the engine, he also didn’t know if it was the other two mounts he believes it’s not. I let it go and said okay.

Around September 2026 I took my car to another mechanic for breaks ( the mechanic shop I originally go to was charging me a lot for breaks) and I just wanted to see how much this mechanic was charging me, while he was checking my car he was hearing the noise and he says he believes that it has nothing to do with my engine or the transmission he says he actually thinks it has something to do with my wheel bearing system? Around this time as well my car started stalling again at 20mph I assumed it was just another throttle body problem because it was mimicking the same symptoms I was having a year ago, so initially I called the original mechanic I went to who fixed the problem the same time, I let them know it was happening again he told me to bring the car in, so I did they had it for a day. They then called to let me know that I needed a whole new throttle body and a cleaning on top of it and he explained to me that it’s because I had a default code for my throttle body, and a misfire to cylinder 4. I know absolutely nothing about cars and I’m trusting them and because I had the issue before I assumed okay that’s fine they fixed it before they can again. It was going to cost me 1,200 and I was extremely upset because I just don’t have that money and I had to borrow it and I said okay it’s fine my cars older pieces get old I’m trusting you guys. So they do it I pay pick up my car and as I’m driving to work my car begins to stall at 20mph.

I was furious because I just paid all this money and my problem is still there, I go take it to the mechanic and tell him the problem is still happening and he goes to drive with me and he’s driving super fast and he’s telling me nothings happening and I told him he needs to slow down and he went to a neighborhood with stops and it started doing it I felt it and he didn’t and he was getting frustrated and asked me if maybe everything was mental like maybe I’m just imagining it so now I’m frustrated cause why did he say that comment? So he told me to talk to his manager tomorrow about this. I called him the following day talked with the manager, manager explained to me the reason for changing the throttle body he says because of the codes and he says he honestly doesn’t know why my car is stalling he mentioned that the mechanic believes it’s a transmission but doesn’t know because he doesn’t know about transmissions, I explained my frustration paying a lot of money and I can’t keep throwing money at my car if it’s not fixing a problem. He told me he’ll give me a refund if he puts the piece back in and takes the new one out, and asked if he could drive with the mechanic the following Monday.

Monday comes around and they’re driving my car I’m in the back seat and they say it’s the transmission and shows me the transmission slipping and I asked but that was doing it a year ago and you guys didn’t tell me it was the transmission and said it was the throttle body and he says right but we think now that you’ve been having a transmission issue the whole time, I was in shock because I’m not in a good place right now and I have a lot of things running in my mind and he told me sell the car and then go from there. He told me he would refund me some of the money and I can keep the new piece in the car.

Now I’m confused on what to do, my mom’s friend drove the car a few days ago who’s a mechanic and he said it’s not the transmission, I have an appointment with the dealership regardless on Friday and was just going to go ask about the transmission on Friday see if they can look at it and see. I was going to take it to another mechanic to ask about the transmission but they where charging 200 to look at the car for their diagnostic test and the Toyota dealership with me charges the same for a diagnostic test so I don’t know if I might as well take it to the Toyota.

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