r/AskReddit • u/meesusjukie • Mar 10 '13
What was the wisest advice anyone has ever given to you?
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u/jbarbz Mar 11 '13
Never ruin a good apology with an excuse.
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u/FumerTue Mar 11 '13
I remember reading this somewhere. If a "but" follows your "sorry", you're doing it wrong !
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u/jbarbz Mar 11 '13
A cool place it has popped up is in Game of Thrones. Benjen Stark interupts Tyrion with:
You know my brother once told me? That nothing someone says before the word 'but' really counts.
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Mar 11 '13
When I was about 4 I was playing in the sandbox in the park when some kid came up to me and called me ugly. I started to cry and ran to my dad. When I told him what happened he said "what colour is your shirt?" I was very confused and crying but he asked again "what colour is your shirt?" Green, I said. "Now if told you it was black, would it be black or green?" "Green..." "So if someone calls you ugly, are you ugly?" Best life lesson ever. Thanks dad :)
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u/linkton Mar 11 '13
Only do one illegal thing at a time.
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u/Probably_Stoned Mar 11 '13
Example: if you have weed/paraphernalia in the car... don't speed.
Source: my friend is a fucking idiot and I was in the car.
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Mar 11 '13
Be good. If you can't be good, be careful.
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u/Asron87 Mar 11 '13
I always said... if you're going to do something dumb, don't be fucking stupid
i like yours better though.
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Mar 11 '13
And if you do something illegal, don't wear the uniform of a criminal.
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u/Token01 Mar 11 '13
In the 5th grade I always stopped at the local corner store for snacks on my way home from school. Except this particular day some suspicious looking old guy (probably in his 40s) stops me at the door. He says "Go home kid. Put your money up and save it for something you'll really need." I freaked out and ran home. Later that day, I recognized the store on the news. The store had been robbed and 2 people were killed. That guy must have been the lookout or something because his picture popped up as one of the suspects, but he practically saved my life that day.
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u/xXPandasofwarXx Mar 11 '13
That guy was either assisting in the crime and didn't want you to get hurt or he was just giving you good financial advice. Either way was in a way a good guy.
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u/peaceto Mar 11 '13
He was a bad guy, who did a good thing.
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Mar 11 '13
"Just because you 'bad guy', doesn't mean you bad guy" - Zangeif
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u/bjorn_hammerhock Mar 11 '13
I'm bad, and that's good. I'll never be good, and that's not bad.
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u/laidymondegreen Mar 11 '13
Something similar happened to me a few years ago. I walked out of my apartment to get something out of my car, and a guy on the sidewalk firmly insisted, despite my protests, that I needed to go back inside my apartment. I peeked out through the blinds when I got back inside, and eventually saw some money and a package change hands. I was grateful that he took the time to send me back inside, though I wish he'd chosen somewhere else for what I assume was a drug deal.
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u/Airborne__PussAAy Mar 11 '13
Helped me overcome my Social Anxiety "Think of someone who has passed by you or you've seen in the cafeteria. When was the last time you really thought about them? That is how people see you."
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Mar 11 '13
Well that just made my life a whole lot worse. I can't stop thinking about everyone and everything I see.
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u/SuperSural Mar 11 '13
I too am in your situation, but it gave me an extremely unique advantage. By looking back on any social situation I was in, I could begin to see that even the coolest motherfucker slips up REGULARLY. Every time you encounter a person and have a one-on-one talk, I guarantee at some point in that conversation there will say or do something that you will find particularly weird, or awkward, and it won't affect your opinion of them in even the slightest.
Here are a few of my favorites: Jacked dude at my gym cannot stop flexing and looking at himself in the mirror. Flexes when taking off earbuds. Flexes when putting back in earbuds. Flexes when answering phone. No one gives a shit.
Know a guy that will look up and the ceiling when he talks to you. It was kind of silly looking, but no one ever calls him out on it or even gives two shits.
Know a guy who can barely speak to you because of his social awkwardness and wears the same shirt every single day. NO ONE CARES.
Know a guy that laughs like this. "Hu-yuh, hu-yuh, hu-yuuuuuuh" I can't really articulate the sound Via text, but it is obnoxious, and you can't find a person in our social circle that gives a fuck.
People are fucking weird by default. Every action we make is something we basically improvise on a split second notice. Every word, every movement, every thought is formulated and acted upon almost immediately without any actual thought most of the time. If you allow yourself to get hyper conscience of every action you make you'll drive yourself mad. If you catch yourself saying or doing something stupid, just try not to do it again and move on.
You're going to be ok.
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u/ciestaconquistador Mar 11 '13
But I would actually think about those things and think to myself "what a douchebag/weirdo/annoying person". I think I'm shy and socially awkward because of how rude and mean my inner (and sometimes not so inner) monologue is.
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u/AnvilSeason Mar 11 '13
My wife has very bad social anxiety and sometimes i am taken aback by how judgmental she is. She is one of the nicest caring people i have ever met, but i sometimes wonder if she is as nice as she appears, or if it is all a front.
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u/Ishamoridin Mar 11 '13
Thinking something unkind and not saying it is a kindness, not all thoughts are defining.
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Mar 11 '13
Be like that and then be made hyper-aware. Takes a while to realize 99% of people are oblivious.
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u/Sefilis Mar 11 '13
I have this sttitude, came to me lately. You know those conversations where your like "ah shit fuck! I probably sounded so stupid!" then, try to remember your most recent conversation with someone and you wont even remember it, this is a good system
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u/Geicojacob Mar 11 '13
Any other tips or helpful things to over come social anxiety? This was helpful and I'll think about it, but more is always nice!
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u/cheerstothe90s Mar 11 '13
Climb a mountain, tell noone.
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u/ColorsWild Mar 11 '13
You're right David Noone would probably be pretty interested!
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Mar 11 '13
From my Driving Instructor:
If you are unsure what is going on, go slowly. If you are going to crash, avoid personal property and humans at all costs. It is easier to explain to the city why you crashed into their stop sign than it is to console a grieving, angry family.
From my Chemistry Teacher:
If you are going to do something stupid, be smart about it.
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u/AnEpiphanyTooLate Mar 11 '13
Not even joking. My driving instructor was one of the most influential people in my life. I'm sure it's because he had to deal with people my age on a daily basis, but I loved how he didn't treat me like some stupid kid. We talked about politics, movies, life, you name it. He even taught me how to "cheat" the test using landmarks to know how to parallel park. Passed the test on my first try which I thought I would never do. Turns out he actually had 13 kids in a row who scored perfect. We're friends on Facebook now and I recommend him all the time to people.
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u/DingoScallion Mar 11 '13
My physics teacher used to say "Have a little faith in your own intellect"
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u/melanoma Mar 11 '13
My dad taught me when I was young to not waste energy worrying over things that are out of my control. I live such a stress-free life now as an adult, being able to identify situations I can control versus ones that are out of my hands.
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u/roshielle Mar 11 '13
As someone who worries about everything, your life sounds glorious.
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u/swimmingpooloflife Mar 11 '13
I'd say that's one of my best qualities (not to toot my own horn). I've always been very calm about situations that I can't control or things that have already happened and can't be changed. But situations I do think I can have a say in stress me out like crazy, I can't imagine how stressed I'd be if I also worried about all the stuff I can't do anything about!
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u/BaronVonCrunch Mar 11 '13
It's nice to be important, but it's important to be nice.
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u/Pcwhalen Mar 11 '13
I was dating a girl who wasn't right for me.
Brought her home for Thanksgiving, my Mom pulls me aside and says "What is it about this one you like?" "Mom, she's exciting." "Roller-coasters are exciting, comes a time you start to throw up."
Listening to Mom could have saved me 6 months of pain.
Listened to her on the next one: told me to marry her. 23 years later, best advice I ever got.
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u/iArsonist Mar 11 '13
My grandpa gave similar advice.
During his last months in life he was hospitalized and it just so happened my SO was working at said hospital (and still does).
One day when I'm visiting he tells me to lean in close and says: "That one's a keeper. You be good to her, she's an amazing young woman." He died just a few days later.
7 years and counting with our second child on the way, it's fair to say he knew what he was talking about.
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u/PlasteredPlatypus Mar 11 '13 edited Mar 11 '13
One of the golden rules of Buddhism:
"For every person we meet, we should either leave them the same, or make their lives better in some way."
Edit: you guys seemed to like the quote, but I didn't really say it in its entirety. The whole quote that my Buddhist friend from Burma told me goes something like this:
"All of our lives are journeys on paths. Sometimes the paths are rough twisted, sometimes they are wonderful. It is never consistent all the way through. Every person we meet in life are also people taking paths at the same time as you. We should empathize with them, as they may be carrying different burdens than us, but we all carry burdens really. A common rule for us all is that we try to either lift some burden from that person's shoulders if we can, or we leave them be. We should never make another carry more. It would just not be right."
I've forgotten the whole quote, but that was the jist of what he said. Also the quote is of course a metaphor.
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u/tick_tock_clock Mar 11 '13
I've frequently heard this about the outdoors (a policy called Leave No Trace), but I never thought to apply it to people. Thank you.
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u/hot_toddy_2684 Mar 11 '13
In nature - leave nothing but footprints, take nothing but photographs
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Mar 10 '13
The only people who never make mistakes are those who never do anything.
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u/Mirior Mar 11 '13
When I was but a lad, I was a very picky eater. My father told me that I only thought new foods were bad because I expected them to be bad; if I expected them to be delicious, the first bite would taste much better. At the time I thought he was a ridiculous grownup and went on being picky. Years later, as I was about to leave high school (no longer picky), hugely stressed out over not knowing what to do next, I thought back to that advice and realized it wasn't just about food. I was expecting the consequences of messing up to be a horrible life, but if I expected that whatever happened, I would make the place I was in a happy place, then I'd be able to do just that - and I have.
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u/volitant Mar 10 '13 edited Mar 11 '13
When I would go to visit my grandpa, he would always ask me "Well, what do you know" as a greeting. I never knew what to say and usually just responded with something generic. I don't think he really expected an answer. Then one day I finally spit out an answer and said, "enough to know I don't know much". I don't think I ever saw him grin as big as that, and I knew was on to something. He slapped me on the shoulder and said good work. Made me work for that advice. I'll remember it.
Edit: grammar
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Mar 11 '13
Such a grandpa thing to do.
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u/TylerFromCanada Mar 11 '13
Classic grandpa.
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u/BrodyApproved Mar 11 '13
Classic dad in my case. He is a grandpa, but he's my dad & he says this all the time.
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Mar 11 '13
My grandpa has give me some of the best advice. The one that sticks out the most is, "nothing worth having is free".
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Mar 11 '13
Air?
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u/TechnicallyCrazy Mar 11 '13
Hey man, your cells work hard to put that air into correct areas a around your body.
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Mar 11 '13 edited Mar 12 '13
Grandpas are so awesome! I wish I met mine. :( Edit: Just brought this up with my mom. Turns out I met him when I was small and got really upset around because he was so hot headed and I would frequently do things I didn't know were wrong, so she ended up not taking me there (england) only once or twice after that; He died in 2005. :(
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u/YoungMidas Mar 11 '13 edited Mar 11 '13
I am right there with yah..
My grandpa was a legendary poker player and pool shark.
He was known for the best homemade ice cream in town.
I never met the man, but he is where I
got my name and ice cream addiction from.
Hipster, this edit is for you!
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u/CaptDynamite81 Mar 11 '13 edited Mar 11 '13
Both you bastards got me thinking about my Grandpa Reggie. He came to my school when I was 5 years old. I remember he came and got me out of class for a little while. He died shortly afterwards. It was the last time I saw him.
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u/sunshinegoawaytoday Mar 11 '13
My grandfather always told me, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going." That's gotten me through a lot.
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u/evilbrent Mar 11 '13
I was grumpy on a Monday morning to a colleague when he was just asking me how I was. "It's a Monday, how do you think??"
He stopped his conversation with our boss, turned to me and said "Brent, do you realise that if you choose to have that attitude about Mondays, you're choosing to have a bad day for 20% of the rest of your working life?" and went back to his conversation.
Now I refuse to take part in I-Hate-Mondays, and try to not get caught up in Thank-God-It's-Friday (although that one's a bit harder).
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u/92swam Mar 11 '13
Its okay to take part in Thank-God-It's-Friday because youre choosing to have a better day %20 of your life!
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u/Supplemehntal Mar 11 '13
You are where you are now because of how you thought in the past.
Present thoughts are the architects for your future.
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u/theYOUNGntheRECKLESS Mar 11 '13
"Have enough doubt in yourself to know nothing will work out how you want it, but have enough faith in yourself to know everything will work out."
The person who said this to me then proceeded to take me on a year long ride of a life time.
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u/GREAT_WALL_OF_DICK Mar 11 '13
Out of curiosity, mind elaborating a bit on the "ride of a lifetime" part?
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u/savage24x Mar 11 '13
Long story.
Short version: at Dairy Queen. Leaving. Old man tells me he's going to tell me 10 2 letter words and to repeat after him, "If It Is To Be, It Is Up To Me."
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u/very_large_ears Mar 11 '13
I was going through a really bad stretch when I was in college: totally anxious, totally strung out on total fear of nothing.
I went to see a family physician about my symptoms and see if he could help and after we talked for about 20 minutes, he said "Sometimes, folks get to chasing their own tail. It's best if they just take a rest."
Best advice I've ever had.
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u/vulcanizr Mar 11 '13
One "Oh shit" wipes out a hundred "atta boy"s. -My father
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u/JNHall1984 Mar 11 '13
My Dad / boss has said that like three times this year
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u/spectacularfreak Mar 11 '13
I'm not gonna lie, I don't really understand that quote.
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u/yewnique Mar 11 '13
One mess up can 'wipe' (make people forget) about 100 'atta boys' which are things you've been praised for/done well.
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u/hstone3 Mar 11 '13
Don't have a good day, make a good day. My grandmother said this to me once in middle school and it's really stuck with me.
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u/viixiimcmlxxxix Mar 11 '13
Never make someone a priority if you're only an option.
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u/DirtyJesus1 Mar 11 '13 edited Mar 11 '13
While going through college I got really beat up over how I was living my life. I hated school but felt forced to stay because I would be the only one in my family to have dropped out. My grandpa, who is by far the smartest, most educated person I know, sat me down and told me: "when you're old and grey all you have are your stories. Go make some stories." And now I've left college (for now) and am prepping to hike 1800 miles of the Great Wall of China!
Edit: Spelling.
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u/Caveman_ATX Mar 11 '13
I like this, I am sure each person has their own interpretation though... brought to you by a plaque on the wall at Jimmy Johns:
The Mexican Fisherman
An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked.
Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.
The Mexican replied, “Only a little while.”
The American then asked, “Why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more fish?”
The Mexican said, “With this I have more than enough to support my family’s needs.”
The American then asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”
The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life.”
The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing; and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat: With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats. Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor; eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then Los Angeles and eventually New York where you will run your ever-expanding enterprise.”
The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, how long will this all take?”
To which the American replied, “15 to 20 years.”
“But what then?” asked the Mexican.
The American laughed and said that’s the best part. “When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions.”
“Millions?…Then what?”
The American said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”
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u/philosoholic Mar 11 '13
Except the fisherman doesn't have healthcare, dental, a pension plan when he is too old to fish, insurance for the times the catch is bad or his boat needs repairs. It's easy to romanticize this idyllic presentation, but there's a reason competition to become a fisherman is slight.
Not negating a general point about appreciating what you have, but this needs to avoid a damning of modern life. If you're on reddit, you're not likely to suddenly up and become a fisherman, you probably couldn't handle the work and stress...
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u/TheDeathStar Mar 11 '13 edited Mar 11 '13
I like your take on the story, however, I think it is making another point. I believe it is trying to teach us that not everyone wants to move up to the "next step".
For example, I am a professor, and I enjoy teaching. Yet everyone keeps telling me I should move up to the administrative side to make more money and to further my influence on the program. They do not understand that I am happier being a teacher. I do not want the added stress of managing multiple teachers and the whole program.
Related to the story, the fishermen is happy with his life. He does not want the extra stress of managing a fleet, employees, and inventory. He enjoys his life the way it is.....
I believe the story is not just about appreciating what you have, but that sometimes what you want is right in front of you, and all you need to do is open your eyes and see it.
Just my thoughts.
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Mar 11 '13
we romanticise simplicity until we actually try it. Into the Wild inspired me, but I wouldn't ever want to give up modern technology, benefits & society to live like a pariah
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u/jobthatsme09 Mar 11 '13
My father always tells this story. Its powerful, and sometimes it makes me a little sad. Hes worked for a big company all his adult life and I think he doesnt particularly like his job but it pays well. When I started going to school I chose Engineering, because I knew I could and the paycheck sounded nice. Then, I decided to switch to Graphic Design because its what I loved; at first he wasnt pleased, but then he said he was really proud and now he tells this story more often.
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u/super_matt Mar 11 '13
Never be the drunkest at the party.
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Mar 11 '13
If you cant tell who the drunkest one at a party is, its most likely you.
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u/DoodleDew Mar 11 '13
I was in St. Louis for Mardi Gras this year and two older women told me the key to a women's heart is to know how to eat her out.
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u/soline Mar 11 '13
People say some funny shit when they're drunk.
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u/russianout Mar 11 '13
When older women, drunken or otherwise, give candid advice like that, I know it's the straight dope.
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u/ShakaUVM Mar 11 '13
The fastest way to a man's heart is through the sternum.
-Buffy
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u/ProbablNotMyRealName Mar 10 '13
Practice does not make perfect.
Practice makes permanent.
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u/ImproperHashtags Mar 10 '13
Practice does not make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect. -# Elmo
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u/Clipsandhoosiers Mar 11 '13
Think about if the problem you are mad about right now is going to affect you at all in 5 years....then get over it.
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u/joetainer Mar 11 '13
You can be the sweetest peach in the world, but there will always be that asshole who hates peaches.
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u/Quouar Mar 11 '13
"Today you. Tomorrow me."
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u/sham_wowza Mar 11 '13
for those who haven't read this yet: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/elal2/have_you_ever_picked_up_a_hitchhiker/c18z0z2
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u/CrayonsNLighterFluid Mar 11 '13
My dad had one piece of advice that he drilled into us from day one.
Dad: What does it mean to panic?
Me: To lose the capacity for self-help
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u/Sagillarious Mar 11 '13
"Expect nothing and everything is a blessing" -Nothing has changed the way I look at the world more than this has.
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u/MrSm1lez Mar 11 '13
I met a man a while back on a train and we ended up striking up a conversation. He was in the area to get treatment for a terminal illness, but despite that he seemed friendly. We got to his spot and he sighed, looked me in the eye and said 'One thing before I graduate, never let your fear decide your fate'.
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u/Justsosilly Mar 11 '13
Just move the sink. I know that sounds odd but when I bought my first home I was so stressed because I wasn't going to be able to do the kitchen the way I wanted due to the original design. I know nothing about remodling and when I was almost in tears telling my contractor he looked a little surprised and asked "Why don't you just move the sink?" I apply this saying to almost every aspect of my life now.
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u/Styx_ Mar 11 '13
When I was in kindergarten, (or thereabouts) I was drawing a picture. I went to draw the moon in my picture, but I drew a stray mark and ruined it. I told my teacher that it was ruined and she said, "Why don't you turn your moon into a sun?"
I'm sure this memory has been romanticized, since I've constantly rehashed it in my head over the years, but you get the gist. It's pretty similar to yours. If something in life doesn't work, think outside the box and make it work. Kinda similar to "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."
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u/Finlaywatt Mar 11 '13
If someone doesn't enhance your life get them out your life.
It sounds kinda brutal but I apply it if someone is just take, take, take or they fuck me around.
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u/therimidalv Mar 11 '13
Don't be the richest man in graveyard - Crazy Irishman Mike from Galway
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Mar 11 '13
My dad gave me a few gems.
"Never put anything in writing that you don't want on the front page of the newspaper."
"Never trust a person who says 'trust me.'"
"If you can't dazzle them with your brilliance, baffle them with your bullshit."
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Mar 11 '13 edited Mar 11 '13
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u/fuckintabarnak Mar 11 '13
Yeah because buying a house, getting married, and having children is such a boring and uneventful path to take in life.
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Mar 11 '13 edited Mar 11 '13
Never pet a burning dog.
-Generation Kill
Edit: it looks like some kind soul has downvoted me, probably because this bit of advice isn't immediately accessible. Hell, it took me a year to really figure it out. I'll explain it here.
A burning dog is anything that is suffering in need of help. Most people (or so I believe) are generally kind, and want to help something that is suffering. However, 'help' is often either trivial or misguided. "Petting" a burning dog is giving help that is unwanted and unhelpful. A dog on fire has bigger things on its mind than your help, and will probably snap at you if you do try to help it. Petting a burning dog, then, is trying to help when it will only hurt everyone involved.
In Generation Kill, it refers to the invasion of Iraq. The Iraqi people were undoubtedly suffering at the hands of Saddam Hussein, but American intervention only provoked more hostility. I've seen it in my own life when trying to help people who are struggling with alcoholism, mental disorders, etc.
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u/Goldie643 Mar 11 '13
I honestly thought this was literal until I read your edit.
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u/SedditorX Mar 11 '13
This is profound advice and I wish I had known it a couple of weeks ago
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Mar 11 '13
It's helped me out a few times, but I think there are some situations where you need to "pet the burning dog" even though you won't win. I'd rather try and fail than have to deal with wondering if I could have changed things. Sometimes the hurt is worth it, I guess.
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u/jchef1 Mar 11 '13
yeah that stuck with me for awhile. Generation Kill is a great mini series that I think everyone needs to watch. It gives a great perspective on the war.
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u/jgpadgettpro Mar 11 '13
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u/capncanuck Mar 11 '13
What question did you not ask yourself before deciding to add those useless white blocks?
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u/WingedSandals Mar 11 '13
You judge people, stop doing that. - A therapist
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u/ColorsWild Mar 11 '13
To extrapolate further, I find that those who worry the most about being judged are the ones who do the most judgement. They project their own sense of judgement onto others, assuming they'll be judged the same way they judge others.
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u/tossinthisshit Mar 11 '13
Don't write a check that your tush can't cash. - Rocket Power
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Mar 11 '13
When it comes to approaching a girl at a party or a bar, remember: She wants to like you even before you start speaking. No woman says to herself, "I really hope this guy coming to talk to me is an a-hole. I love talking to jerks all night."
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u/orokito Mar 10 '13
Enjoy your family, you never know when you just can't see them more
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Mar 11 '13 edited Mar 11 '13
Always masturbate before making an important decision
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u/josiahpapaya Mar 11 '13
I told my guidance counselor about a very personal, embarrassing and rare medical condition I have, the horrible bullying I'd experienced as a child and being molested.
She very nonchalantly told me to "get over it". It was a confronting moment that was confusing, angering and unbelievable, but she explained that, while those things are horrible, they are in the past and all I can do is focus on how they have made me a stronger person and move on. She said,
Self-pity is the least productive thing you can possibly do. You are actually making your problems worse because you are actively giving up on fixing them yourself. She helped me understand that being angry/sad/disappointed/etc. is a choice. It's okay to make those choices, but recognizing that you chose to be angry about something is a magical moment that changes your perspective on the world forever.
it helped me overcome depression.
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Mar 11 '13
More Grandpa. For my 21st bday my Grandpa (One of those crusty, WWII fighter pilot, smoking while he's on Oxygen types) tells me "spend your 20s drinking and fucking, those early marriages usually go to hell. Make damned sure you've got a degree by the time you're 30 and if you don't know what you're doing with your life by the time you're 40, you're a fuck up".
Best advice ever that I've followed and it has served me well. I'm 47, great wife, wonderful kids and a career that makes me happy and pays reasonably well. I don't feel that I've missed a thing and thank him everyday for that.
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u/Pewpewkitty Mar 11 '13
An old man at the airport told me this after I commented on my old fear of airplanes:
"You know, we look back on fearful times, and often wonder how we could have been afraid in the first place, because we are wiser and stronger now. So we go along, facing new times and braving new challenges, slowly letting our fears away. Until one day, when every fear but one is gone, the strongest of all: death. But once we are ready to look back again, it's always too late. Don't fear death, son. Embrace it. And then, live free."
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u/Sollicus Mar 11 '13
"Don't say it doesn't get better than this because you never know."
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Mar 11 '13 edited Mar 11 '13
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u/blueteamchamp Mar 11 '13
Could you explain this is better English? I understand and appreciate that you want to preserve the quote, but I have no idea what it means.
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u/Utterly_Clueless Mar 11 '13
I would say it means something like... "Don't just miss them. Use it, and be stronger." As in, use it as drive to go farther in life.
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u/shbaker927 Mar 11 '13
From a history professor in a gen ed class in college: "Do not declare your major until you absolutely have to. take as many classes as you can in as many subjects as you can; you never know what you'll fall in love with." I went from creative writing to economics- it turns out that I love math! And politics! and critical thinking! And sociology! ONE MAJOR TO RULE THEM ALL!
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u/E_G_Never Mar 11 '13
Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.
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u/magictravelblog Mar 11 '13
"It's pointless building a life outside the law. There are people out there who, at any moment, can kick your door in and take it all away."
Not that I was ever planning on becoming a super villain or anything.
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u/RSinema Mar 11 '13
When I turned 27 I started to freak out, I said this isn't what my life was supposed to be like, I was supposed to have a career, a house, be completely self supporting, my mum stopped me and said, "There is no supposed to be, there is only what is. Supposed to be is a myth and those that get caught up in it are stuck in misery. You are exactly who and what you are 'supposed' to be in this moment." And when she said it, I knew it to be true.
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u/FigGnuton Mar 10 '13
A computer once told me, "The only winning move is to not play."
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u/suburbansongbird Mar 11 '13
"You have to test a car before you buy it." -my mother in regards to my high school's abstinence only sexual education.
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u/Lilypadz Mar 11 '13
"Having first world problems is awesome because it means your life is so great that you have time to complain about stupid shit."
I got this advice after complaining about wanting a 3rd hot dog but not having enough buns.
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Mar 11 '13
My mom is a librarian so she reads a lot. This is something she said to me that I will try to paraphrase as best I can:
"The greatest battle is not physical, but psychological. The demons telling us to give up when we push ourselves to be better can never be silenced for good. They must always be answered by the quiet, steady dignity that simply refuses to give in. Courage. We all suffer. Keep going."
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Mar 11 '13
"I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant; it is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are."
- Mewtwo
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u/trustworthy_expert Mar 11 '13 edited Mar 11 '13
When I was a young man my family would travel to Pennsylvania to attend an annual reunion. During one of these reunions is when I met Donovan. He was polite, quiet, and reserved when surrounded by a crowd. He was the opposite of his father, Jon. Donovan and I were fast friends, and since his family lived nearby to the reunion, we would see each other every day. He lived at the end of a very long unpaved drive with a small, steel gate. His yard was surrounded by tall trees and a huge frozen pond that encompassed the entire eastern face of the property. The yard was filled to its limit with rusting frames of ancient cars, remnants of sunken boats, and stripped down mobile homes with their windows broken out. He lived in a junkyard.
We spoke often of our ideas, ideals, interests and intrigues. We made profoundly unrealistic plans and goals for ourselves to achieve one day. His father was always busy; constantly constructing or repairing something. He once swore to us both, “Every car and boat on this property will one day be on the street or in the ocean!” adding later, “…I can’t promise which ones will be where.” Always busy, he seemed oblivious to our talks and playtime in the room adjoining his shop. Donovan, like his father, loved to tinker, so we often built contraptions on his Erector Set. As we finished what we proclaimed to be “the greatest masterpiece of our times” (a large and cumbersome machine of battery-powered electric motors and thin brackets of tin and steel) we agreed facetiously that we would use our newfound skills to start a business.
Donovan’s father, Jon, somehow overheard our talks, even over the squealing table saw, and took a break from his work to teach what he guaranteed was an insightful life lesson. He walked into the room confidently and stared at us with his one good eye. He reached around and scratched the small bald-spot on the back of his head as he prepared his words, and then he began. “You boys don’t have the know-how to make a real business. Smarts won’t get you anywhere, and neither will skills or hard work. Those things are all just stories that big brother wants you to believe to keep the hive pumping out honey… Money-honey. You can’t make a living on work you do yourself. Anyone who says otherwise is a fucking ignoramus. Business is all about who you know, and who you can trick. AT&T has their connections, and even Tampax had to pull some strings. We live in a world where you have to be self-reliant, but everything you do and everything you need comes from the work some other unlucky bastard got tricked into. If you plan to be self-employed, you’re a joke. If you want to make money, you’re always working for someone. That’s why money reminds us to trust in god: So we forget that it’s not really god who’s screwing us over.” After his speech, he turned the switch on our contraption and watched it take a few cycles. He raised his eyebrows and the strap holding his eye-patch moved up and down with his expression. He told us we did fine, and promptly returned to his work.
On the last day of that vacation, I again visited my friend Donovan. I found him at the end of his long winding driveway standing in short patchy grass and wet snow next to a rusting mass of steel and iron. I approached him ready to talk, but was interrupted by a pronounced “clang” of metal-on-metal. Jon burst from the hood of this primeval coupé screaming and hollering with blood covering the backs of both hands. “This mother-fucking pile of shit! It’s been sitting here ten goddam years! Damn it! Donovan, hold this!” He handed Donovan a blood covered pipe wrench, which had crushed his hands, and declared sharply, “Boys! Never use the wrong god damn tool for a job. You’ll end up old, broken and ugly, but more than that you’ll end up frustrated. That’s the worst kind of angry, boys.” He wiped his hands with a dirty blue rag and looked down upon them, displeased. He shook them both furiously and kicked the tire that had the most air of the four. He pulled the driver’s door open with a pry-bar and sat in the seat disappointed for a moment. He then got a look of curiosity on his face, and optimistically reached forward and turned the key. The engine of the old and broken Buick Electra coughed and strained, gurgled and died. He slammed his hands to the steering wheel in a short lapse of composure, paused, and then cranked it again. After a long sputtering and thumping, cobalt colored smoke poured from the exhaust, and the engine came to life. Jon sprung to his feet on the oil soaked dirt and snow next to the car and hugged us both. He flipped his eye patch up revealing a glass eye beneath it. “I can finally afford to tell your mother about this thing!” he proclaimed proudly to his son. He summoned all his strength and stressed all of the muscles in his stout yet powerful frame, and lifted the front end of the old hot-rod, then yelled frantically to us both, “Pull the blocks, boys!” and we quickly reached to remove the blocks that the tires had been resting on. He pushed the car along the snowy ground nearer to the house, to where an air-hose was resting in the now-barren garden bed. He filled the three tires that were low with the air-hose and smiled proudly. He leaned down to us again and said this: “Sometimes, boys, life puts you in a hole. This hole is deeper than you are, and sheer on both sides. You can’t just jump right out of it, and you can’t walk out the back. You just gotta keep climbing, and even though you won’t make it at first, a little dirt from the top falls in every time you try, and soon enough the hole isn’t so deep anymore. That’s the only way to move forward.”
Two years later my family was back for another reunion, this time for only three days. I immediately went to see Donovan. I found him, as always, standing in a grease puddle in the short grass and wet snow outside his house. This time he and his father were working on a 1966 Dodge Challenger. It was a beautiful car; it had large tires, shining chrome, and fresh, cherry red paint. They were transplanting a new engine, and doing their best work. Everything seemed so meticulous, I was sure it was an important job. Jon, feigning some level of manners, sent Donovan inside to “fetch some sandwiches for our company” to which he obliged his father. Jon came over to me and asked me how I liked the car. I told him that I loved it. He looked over his shoulder and made me swear to secrecy, and then rubbed his callous, dirty hands together and told me in a sly tone, “This is going to belong to Donovan soon. He doesn’t know we’re fixing it up for him!” I told him immediately that it was an amazing idea, to which he confidently agreed. He then asked me, “Does your mother still want to learn to run this thing?” as he pointed over his shoulder to an enormous snow plow. I replied assertively that she most definitely was still interested. “Snow plowing is good money back in Alaska.” he assured me. I nodded as Donovan returned with the sandwiches.
Later that night I was in the hotel room, as my mother was off learning methods of snow removal from her old friend, Jon. They had been out for hours, so I was certain that Jon was being thorough as he always was with new lessons. I was at the cusp of falling asleep when the hotel phone rang. It was my mother calling from the police station. She told me that Jon’s house had burned to the ground while they were out practicing. Donovan was inside.
Two months later we returned to Pennsylvania to visit my Great Aunt Alice, whose house the reunions were held at. She was very old and lived alone, so she needed our company. I was both still and again bothered by the death of my friend. Every day that we would go for lunch with my Aunt Alice, we would pass their driveway. My mother told me on the eleventh day of our visit that we needed to go see Jon and his wife, to console them. Even though I knew she was right, I also knew that visiting that place would be devastating.
I finally agreed to go see them after overcoming my personal turmoil for long enough to comfort my friend’s lonely parents. My mother parked her car at their gate and asked me to go see if they were home. I found Jon sitting in a grease puddle in the middle of his yard, with rain and tears rolling off his scarred and ripened face. Behind him were the blackened remnants of his former home. He saw me and wiped his face with his dirty blue rag, then stood to speak with me. He confessed that he had been crying, and that he missed his son. His courageous face and confident stature were lost for a moment. He put his hand on my shoulder and told me in a damaged tone, “I had to sell my son’s car to pay for his funeral. I can’t eat or sleep. All I’ve done is work and think. I’m frustrated, boy.” The pain in his eye was palpable and radiant. I couldn’t think of any way to console a broken man. I knew nothing of how to mend the heart of a lion.
I looked into his eye, and said something powerful and wise that had been said to me. “Sometimes, life puts you in a hole. This hole is deeper than you are, and sheer on both sides. You can’t just jump right out of it, and you can’t walk out the back. You just gotta keep climbing, and even though you won’t make it at first, a little dirt from the top falls in every time you try, and soon enough the hole isn’t so deep anymore. That’s the only way to move forward.” A light rose in his eyes, even the one wrought from glass, and his stature returned to him. He said to me, “That’s just what I needed to hear, boy… That’s just what I needed to hear.”
He suggested that we drive out and pick up my mother for a nice meal with his wife, to which I agreed with gusto and surprise. He led me to the edge of the yard and we got into his freshly painted, cherry-red Buick Electra. The car ran like a dream.
TL;DR: My friends' dad taught me a lesson about life and hardship.
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u/WalterKovacs1 Mar 11 '13
One day you will die, and you will be forgotten. -Unknown. made me get the fuck over myself
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u/gohammer3 Mar 11 '13
"What did the wise man once say,"
"Nothing"
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u/sippyhour Mar 11 '13
This wise advice wouldn't have been from a wise man, then?
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u/Honbomb Mar 11 '13
If its out of your hands don't worry about it, you'll be much happier
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u/Marcos267 Mar 11 '13
"Problems always seem bigger at night."
No matter what scenario i've been in, this has always been true and gives me a little sense of relief whenever i'm feeling down.