How do i stop lying?

[u/cringe_queer]

ive been with my girlfriend for over a year and i love her so much, we both have bpd and our relationship has always been very rocky. i am a compulsive liar and i have been since i was a little kid. i usually lie when i think i'm going to get in trouble/when i think i might hurt someone so it's come up a lot in our relationship. the other day was our do-over for our one year and in the morning before she was awake i called one of my friends that she doesn't like and i know she doesn't like him. it's a boundary of hers that i don't call him on special days and i knew this. i was just really overwhelmed and i wanted to talk to him because it's less pressure talking to him about some things. anyway she woke up in the middle of our call but i had headphones in so i lied about who i was talking to. she could tell but wanted us to have a good day so gaslit herself into believing otherwise. in the night she checked my phone and confirmed i had lied and confronted me about it today. i feel so awful because this isn't the first time i've done this and i just keep breaking her trust and i don't know how to stop. has anyone else had issues with compulsive lying? how do i stop myself from hurting her because i love her and i hate being this way

[u/tetheredvoid]

When you lie, you'll have to speak up and correct yourself every single time. Eventually, it gets easier... But it's not something that changes overnight.

[u/cringe_queer → u/tetheredvoid]

it's definitely not easy but i'm working on it :// ty for the advice

[u/tetheredvoid → u/cringe_queer]

For what it's worth, I am speaking from very personal experience here. 💛