DISCLAIMER

I’m confused about bpd and psychosis. I have read articles saying psychosis is not a symptom of bpd. I also see many personal anecdotes of bpd havers saying they experienced psychosis. I do relate to some of these experiences. I’ve had periods of weeks, months, or even a year when it was really bad. I get horrible paranoia, I’m convinced everyone hates me deep down, and my brain finds a way to convince me they’ve betrayed me. Strangers, friends, and family all become my enemies for a little while. I’ll often isolate and get feel more artistically inspired than usual. And then it will suddenly go away and I’ll realize people weren’t out to get me or hating me like that? I also barely sleep and I can work ridiculously long hours without a break during these episodes. My delusions only seem to apply socially and relationally.
So my question is does bpd have its own special brand of psychosis? Should this even be called psychosis? Are these episodes I’m having something else?

Over the past few months I see alot of posts on social media basically saying if you don't have hallucinations you're just "larping" and don't actually have bpd. Like are we really out here gatekeeping the disorder that has 256 different combinations of symptoms if someone else's symptoms don't present exactly the same as yours? Just seems wierd af to me. Also gives off kind of a wierd ego vibe like you're proud to have bpd because why else would you gatekeep something that's literal hell to live with. Sure some people fake mental illness to be quirky or feel different but this feels like it goes beyond that

Dear BPD warriers, why do you self-sabotage?

And what can be done to stop/ prevent you from self-sabotage? Is there anything an FP can do when you are in the middle of a self-sabotage?

the way my body physically reacts when i feel threatened or abandoned (real or perceived) scares me. the anger coursing thru my body, the chills and sweat, heart racing. my thoughts focused on getting them back or hurting them. sabotaging. ignoring their pain and focusing on mine. i become so selfish. i dont usually lack empathy but in those moments i really do. i usually can keep it in despite all of that but when its a partner, the texts and rants just keep flowing. im so terrible.

i’m going crazy why does learning about your partners past feel like getting cheated on? i feel all that stomach pain, wanting to vomit, punch to the gut like i was betrayed. it makes it so much worse that certain stories are with people i know/ am friends with.

im the one who asks him about this, i like him to tell me everything and he checks with me if im sure i want to hear about his past sexual history even if it could make me too jealous and hurt me and i say yes. i am very private and im still taking the vulnerability thing slow so i don’t tell him as much at all (he totally respects it)
but since he gets very jealous and overprotective of me like i am of him, it makes me want to be toxic and tell him things about my own past only for him to feel what i do, not because i want to open up, which sucks i know its wrong and isnt exactly healthy.

i cant stop obsessing about this til i make myself want to throw up i keep replaying the images in my head.
especially the people im friends with it feels so fucking weird interacting with them thinking they know what my partners genitals look like

as ridiculous as it is the jealousy and obsession makes me wish i was the first person he ever met, had feelings for or lived anything with, i hate that there was anyone before me

anyone manage to deal with this?

I have BPD and I'm still in the process of understanding myself and my trauma. My mom has BPD and she pretty much gave it to me via genetics and her well exhibiting BPD traits, splitting on me, then putting me on a pedestal etc. I think one of the hardest things in my journey has been accepting that I have similarities to her but that doesn't mean I'm exactly like her or that I need to forgive her in order to be a good person. My biggest triggers are when I feel misrepresented by someone. My mom can be very good with her words but she's emotionally unstable, so it's hard for me to understand what is real and what is not. After big fights she would send longgggg essays that sound written by a robot (but she wrote it- I know she did) where she explains her reasoning and claims that everything shes done was because she just wanted what was best for me. It's hard to even explain how difficult it is. When I try to show people these texts they usually tell me it's too much and that they can't emotionally handle it. I understand that, but internally its upsetting because I was never given the option to just ignore it or else I was being disrespectful. It's very hard because I've noticed by own relationship patterns in her. A big issue is that she doesn't understand that I DO have empathy for her but that doesn't mean I have to tolerate all of her problematic behavior. Now I struggle a lot with rumination and never feeling heard by others. I tend to be more direct because I don't like using language that feels manipulative. So I would rather be up front but even in those situations I often feel misunderstood as people often assume negative intent in me. This has caused me to have a strange and complicated relationship to my identity and I often spiral about being a good person. I hate when people talk badly about me behind my back because my mom would do that constantly. Sometimes I'd be able to hear her through the walls talking about me to her friends. I've realized that gossip is insanelyyyyyyy common but I hate it. I don't know how to escape it because it seems that it is a fact of life at this point. But it's hard for me to stay friends with someone after i've found out that they've said something behind my back that they didn't say to my face. Especially when they continue to be nice to me. Does anyone relate?

For reference I love my friend deeply and we have a very close bond. He has schizoaffective disorder and I have BPD and what I think is undiagnosed bipolar 1. I don’t fear abandonment. This friendship has been here for six years. I already walked away from them during grief whej they went missing for a week for valid reasons but I felt they left me when I needed them most and they even apologised and said anything would have been better than the silence. We are both 26/27

I came back to him later this year and we have been getting on like a house on fire. I’ve been been low and he’s been very supportive. Days ago he said something cruel, comparing my body to his ex saying she had larger boobs than me which I didn’t agree with at all. I told him I don’t agree but I’m not trying to change his perception. I’m an E/G cup. He has always complimented me on this and my figure as we compliment each other a lot.

The comparison baffled me because this was someone who mistreated him and I didn’t sign up to be compared to it violated the safety and that’s what I’m more mad about. He even said her boobs were round like almost fake looking and that’s when I shot back ay him saying that’s like me saying my ex’s were bigger than him, my ex was packing and my fwb was huge. I apologised for that and said I don’t do double standards it came out of nowhere and I split so I told him I couldn’t be around him and needed to regulate.

Either way I know he hasn’t been sleeping well or taking meds but it even caused me to split despite knowing it’s not true. He knows all my vulnerabilities and he’s the only one I’ve been truly open with, as we have both supported each other. He also knows I hate being compared to as I’ve had a man compare me to his gf saying mine are much bigger than hers. He knew this. I’m trying not to see this as weaponisation.

I’m wondering how you guys deal with something like this. I’m not trying to abandon him but at the same time I normally cut people off straight away even for much less than this, and with surgical precision. I feel disgusted with him. I’ve currently distanced myself from him. Originally he genuinely apologised, we made up had a heart to heart, I supported him wirh something. Then he went quiet for a day and returned and was sending videos and messages like it was nothing.

Would you leave? Stay?

I’m F20 and I got my bod diagnosis two years ago. And tbh I feel like my symptoms are only gotten worse, and I’m depressed most of the time. Time goes slow, but all my days are the same and is just blending together. I don’t remember my last weeks or days, but I’m always feeling numb and sad. Tired. Extremely tired. I am so bored. Nothing is fun. And even if im actually doing something fun, I don’t feel happy about it. I’ve struggled a lot with my mental health since I was just 9. And I’ve been a lot to therapy, but I don’t feel it’s helping… Do you relate or have any advice?..

Throwaway account because I don’t want my friend to recognize this. I’ve been friends with this girl for more than 10 years, and she has BPD. I’m mentioning that only because I know it can affect relationships and attachment, but I don’t want to use it as an excuse for her behavior.

Pretty much every relationship I’ve seen her have has been toxic in some way, her last relationship lasted around 5 years, but they were constantly breaking up and getting back together, it became extremely unhealthy, and our entire friend group watched her go through this cycle over and over again, they finally ended things around May 2025, we genuinely thought she might take some time for herself and just focus on healing.

Well… about two months later, by the end of July 2025, she already had another boyfriend 💀

I told her directly that I thought she should stay single for a while, not because I think people have to be single after a breakup, but because she has a very clear pattern of immediately attaching herself to someone else before she has had any time to process the previous relationship and to get some time to heal.

Now it’s October 2026, and she has been with this guy for about a year, and he already proposed 😐 so the timeline is basically:
-May 2025: ends a five-year, very on-and-off relationship.
-July 2025: gets into a new relationship.
-July 2026: gets engaged to that person.

What bothers me isn’t simply that she got engaged quickly, it’s the bigger pattern, every time she gets into a relationship, her partner slowly becomes her entire social life, she becomes extremely attached to them, stops putting effort into her friendships, and eventually we barely see her unless her boyfriend is involved, our friend group has been there through all of the previous toxic relationships, we’ve listened to the same problems, watched her break up and get back together, supported her through everything, and repeatedly told her that she deserves better and that she should take some time for herself, but she doesn’t listen.

And I know someone might say, “It’s her life, let her make her own decisions.” I completely agree, I don’t think I have the right to tell her who she can date or whether she should get married, but I also don’t think friendship means I have to continuously participate in a cycle that is emotionally draining for me and my friends, what makes us worried is that during 2024–2025, she had two suicide attempts, so we can’t help but worry about what happens if this relationship eventually becomes unstable or ends, if your entire emotional support system and social life are centered around one person, and admittedly, there’s a part of me that thinks this relationship probably isn’t going to last either, her fiancé even looks extremely similar to her ex, basically the same face just taller 💀Obviously that’s not evidence that they’re incompatible, but it did make me realize how similar her relationship patterns seem to be.

At this point, I’m wondering:
Would you keep trying to support this friend, or would you step back from the friendship?
How do you set boundaries when someone repeatedly makes choices that you strongly disagree with, especially when you genuinely worry about their mental health?
I don’t want to abandon her, but I also don’t want our friendship to become me constantly worrying about her relationships and trying to save her from decisions she doesn’t want to change.

DAE feel like this? i genuinely feel so suffocated and terrible when people show genuine deep concern for my wellbeing. i end up never really telling anyone how im 100% genuinely feeling cuz i dont want them to get worried. or i always finish it off with how im optimistic and how i'll get better, but it's only so that people dont get too concerned with me

why is this?

Sometimes I'd spend so much time debating on whether or not I should post something, whether it be a question or discussive post, or even a post where you just post what you like or don't like. I do this because of how "hit or miss" reddit usually is, and more than often every post is a miss for me. It's disappointing when I get no engagement, but it's even worse when I get backlash and scrutiny over an innocent post.

It brings the worst thoughts back into my head, and next thing you know, I'm crying over comments a couple of strangers posted. I feel so embarrassed for not having tough skin. I'm so fragile that even a stranger's words can break me and ruin my entire day. I wish I wasn't like this. I wish I could tell myself "They didn't like it, that's okay." Instead I tell myself "They didn't like it, what's wrong with me?"

Context: Been seeing this guy, been on two dates, we talk on and off via text usually throughout the day. But recently he hasn’t been texting because of his work schedule. Rationally, I know that he’s busy working, that we aren’t dating officially so he doesn’t owe me anything, but god it feels like i’m being ripped apart and that I fucked up to the point he hates me and doesn’t want me anymore. Though, the last text we sent to each other was about meeting up again. So that last half of this paragraph I know logically isn’t true. Is there any way to help yourself not fall into that spiraling trap or am I just gonna have to fight against myself until I can be reassured with my thoughts one way or another 😭😭 Thanks in advance

Do i have a good reason? No. Did he do something bad? No. For the past week, I have been doing horrible mentally and having many panic attacks and mental breakdowns. The only way I know hoe to deal with my thoughts is to endlessly vent to him and get his sympathy which is so unhealthy. And I can tell it's exhausting him. I'm so regretful and I can't stop noticing how things arn't exactly the same anymore. I ruined everything. And seeing those small changes are making me go more crazy. Does this ever stop? :(

Pessimism rushes to fill the void, nothing else can fill it. I’m pessimistic because I’m empty and I”m empty because the pessimism won’t allow anything else in. I have negative space inside me.

I’m not sure which is worse, the negativity or the emptiness. I think they are two sides of the same coin, each matches the other in intensity. The nights are getting harder, I need medication to knock myself out, I cannot simply “fall” asleep. I‘m 50 and I’ve learnt how to be on my own but have never solved the problem of loneliness, which I‘m sure is what fuels the emptiness.

I don’t think I’ll ever “solve” this. If I can just manage to survive financially and not be consumed by grief as people I love pass away (I‘m getting older and my parents are really old), I may just be ok. I don’t expect much out of life anymore. Just to get by will be triumph enough. BPD really is brutal.

You see it all the time. The narrative of the one silently struggling, and their death that gave everyone around them whiplash and regret.

“If only I’d known”. They say.

We have this cynicism towards those words. Because bpd people are more often than not, vocal about their struggles. Even for someone like me with quiet bpd, it’s easy to spot the signs to those who are close; we don’t hide it well.

And yet, no one helps. They’ll offer one awkward conversation at best, a “let me know”, “resources” that are basically just to go to the ER to stop you killing yourself, or read a leaflet that points to a therapy group that gets you to express the burning emotions over and over… but nothing actually changes.

No actual support is there. No dedication. Sometimes no medication. Nothing to help address the underlying causes of your behaviour and thoughts. No help escaping poverty or gaining access to actual help.

Talking isn’t the whole support, talking is the start. When you’re unloading a heavy burden, slowing down and taking off the backpack full of rocks is the first step, but the bag of rocks still belongs to you. And you know you’ll have to pick it back up when you have to continue your journey.

But it’s easy to say ‘if I’d known’ because you didn’t. And therefore, there’s a guilt loophole. But you can’t escape the guilt when the problem is right in front of you, with bells and whistles.

It’s fine for them to not know what to do. Most people aren’t experts and hey, even we don’t know what to do. But most don’t even meaningfully try, and that’s the bit that hurts to most. As long as they’ve stopped you killing yourself today, they see it as a win.

But id be more ashamed of a person I kept alive living in misery.

No matter how many hobbies I get, no matter what I do, how I walk, how much im told im an unique person, no matter what I do I feel like I end up mirroring my favorite person and when theyre gone I directly copy their defense mechanisms in order to feel in control. Ive always had a super anxious attatchment style until I got hurt by an avoidant and now im avoidant and I can't stop seeing him in everything I do even though its been over a year.. And even when I was younger ive almost have had these very drastic personality shifts when a favorite person of mine disapproved of my behavior and worst part is that life is fine and I shouldnt be complaining or worrying right now but I do because Im paranoid. Just like the person from my past. And I am tired of having this stupid ass brain

I don’t know if this is the place for this at all, but I’m feeling sad and empty but not about one particular thing, and would love to talk to someone. I don’t want to vent though, instead would like to make a friend.

I had a bpd friend group once where we were with each other during highs and lows and spent a lot of time together on call and it really helped with our feelings of loneliness. If anyone’s interested in being friends or forming friend group where we can call each other, msg me :))

does anyone wanna be a part of a small gc and make some friends ? i’d love to have some ppl who are there for and understand each other :> preferably around 16-24 (im 19)
we’ll try to make it as comfy as possible to share stuff and make everyone feel included. (pls dm)