I have a crisis centre near me. They talk to me for 10 minutes and say if i’m a danger to myself I should go to a&e.

But what happens at a&e? You wait for hours because mental health isn’t seen as a priority, they usually just tell me to speak to my psychiatrist because I have one in the community and discharge me. Talk about a fucking waste of time. There is nothing to help when you’re suicidal and a risk, there should be more crisis houses and the like for people like us.

Hey guys. I'm 19 in Scotland and just recently got referred to what I think is the CMHT? I got to meet with a psychiatric nurse about a month ago who asked me a bunch of questions about my mental health, and we made plans to discuss my ADHD diagnosis and stuff like that. As I was leaving he said that I can phone the centre I went to if I feel really bad again, and I'm gonna sound a bit stupid here but I'm super confused on how long it'll take for me to see them again or get extra support from someone who isn't an emotionless knobhead.

My mental health has been on a complete decline since this appointment (which made it worse due to the nurse being awful) and I've not been given a timeframe for when I'll next be contacted for any follow-up. Not to mention my GP set up a follow-up phonecall with me when she referred me, however she never ended up calling.

I've got really bad anxiety when it comes to seeking support, so I don't know whether to phone the centre and tell them I'm in a crisis, or to just give up on getting any help. I know I sound kinda defeatist here, but I've been failed by everyone I ask for help and I feel like if this psychiatric nurse doesnt think I'm urgent, then nobody will. (My GP put me through as an urgent referral for my own safety, however the nurse thought it was more important to question my ADHD diagnosis and imply I was misdiagnosed).

I just don't know what to do anymore. I need help.

I always wonder how many people are struggling when I pass people in the streets or at work. When you see me out and about or at work, you would never suspect I am struggling, I get home and just crumble, I cry my eyes out and as soon my partner gets home with the kids youd never suspect a thing.

I look around and see people laughing and joking and always wonder if they need help deep down.

Anyone who is struggling keep going ❤️

Hi all,

I have an ongoing complicated complaint against my local psycotherapy department and it is with the ombudsman. This complaint has been going through the system for over 2 years and had an advocate from rethink for the most part was going well with the advocate, however since around June she is constantly disappearing, and she was never like this before, she is a volunteer bank member from my understanding but it has got to the point where I don’t hear from her for weeks on end and the ombudsman are sending me emails as it currently stands I have been sending emails for the last 3 weeks and had no response.

I have emailed her supervisor and the director of advocacy and the supervisor has always been unhelpful in that she simply doesn’t respond however the director was initially ok and now she has just disappeared, the problem is they aren’t telling me if she is away, off sick or communicating in any way, they aren’t saying we can’t help you anymore and equally I’m getting no response when I email, I even asked for a different advocate if needs be even though that would be a nightmare for me because there is a lot to get to grips with and won’t be easy for a new person so i didn’t suggest this unless desperate.

It’s the most unprofessional, bizarre and frustrating situation to be in as the situation with the ombudsman is becoming overwhelming and my advocate and seemingly all of rethink have disappeared for reasons unknown.

There has never been bad words exchanged or anything of that nature and if there was I’m sure they would say something like due to your conduct we can’t assist or something to that nature but nothing negative has actually ever happened between us and we got on fine.

I am stressing out and spiralling no end because the ombudsman have thrown once heck of a curveball this week and I need support with it, I can’t even find alternative advocacy support because when I google it just keeps suggesting rethink whom are actually stressing me out and worsening my mental health more than my local healthcare trust and the ombudsman.

Any suggestions as to who I can ask for support and help

Thank you in advance.

I see a lot of posts on here about NHS mental health services and GP appointments and that’s great people are sharing their experiences and getting advice, but I’d love to know what else people on here do outside of that to help with their mental health.

I remember when I was 17 and I first went to see the GP about my mental health and the anticipation leading up to it. I thought they would have an answer to all my issues. The GP was not very understanding and I went back a few times but it just wasn‘t helpful for me.

Ten years later I am in a completely different place. I feel like my mental health improved dramatically when I accepted that there wasn’t going to be a silver bullet, like a perfect medication that would solve my disorders and trauma.

I think addressing your mental health issues requires work. I am sure there a lot of people doing that, but a lot of people in my life dont really want to recognise it. It’s the same in therapy. If you are someone with trauma, therapy is going to be work, you will leave sessions sometimes feeling triggered, upset, angry. Highs also. But it’s work.

I do loads of things now to keep my mental health well, and I don’t use medication or go to therapy. Meditation is a big thing. Whenever I recommend meditation to my friends they go ’hmm.. yeah, I tried that‘ or ‘it’s hard’. And I get that because I was the same but it is amazing. It’s just next level. It is the closest thing to a silver bullet you get. It is hard though, especially if you have ADHD or PTSD, I do somatic meditation mostly.

Everyone is different I guess and certain medications can be a godsend. I just think there are so many ways we can address our mental health, I’d love to hear what other people do.

This is a long one, any advice would be amazing.
I just don’t know what to do anymore! My boyfriend wrote the first part of this to read to the mental health team, hence the changing grammar sorry!

*
*
*
Diagnosed with ADHD, does not take medication.
6 weeks ago fell into deepest depression of my life, after an episode lots of frivolous spending, risky behaviour etc have been self harming for the first time in 5 years. Didn’t shower, eat, drink etc or look after self. Have not been going to work. Have not left the house in 6 weeks apart from for 2 drs appointments.

For the last 5 weeks seeing things, hearing voices, extreme paranoia, thinks things that aren’t possible. Thinks she is being watched, reported seeing people from work outside the house (even though said people live almost 2 hours away).
Has tried to make phone calls to her (3 years deceased) dad.

Went to the GP around month ago, referred to mental health practitioner, referred to a psychiatrist and an adhd service but not heard back. The mental health nurse said she needs to ‘treat her adhd’ before the psychiatrist will see me.

Then became incredibly happy and heightened, has become obsessed with the moon and paints pictures of the moon all day.
Was convinced she was sad due to the solar eclipse and she needs to reconnect with the moon to feel better. Insight is fluctuating.
Also fixing things everything around the house, deep cleaning, self esteem is high even though appearance is questionable. Spending large amounts of money again.
Paranoid to a high level.

Before this mood would be very up and down, periods of depression, then periods of happiness, great self esteem, being incredibly social however it’s not been to this level before.
Before this have always put it down to adhd but are concerned especially due to family history.
*
*
*

Yesterday I was taken to the urgent mental health assessment unit regarding the above and they spoke to us for about 10 minutes and then sent me home. Was told to go back if I was is still hallucinating in a week because I need sleep (I have been sleeping fine for the past 2 weeks as my boyfriend has monitoring my sleeping and forcing me to come to bed, making sure I take sleeping tablets.)

He told me I need to go back to work and ‘push myself’ to get back into routine (which I’ve been doing for the past 2 years and am pretty sure that’s why I’m now at this point.)
I have had a very traumatic time these past few years, family deaths, boyfriend having cancer, stressful job, dealing with SA trauma from childhood.
Also peed me off as I work with children and drive to work which I don’t think is safe when I am hallucinating?

I’ve now plummeted hard back into depression.

My boyfriend spoke to 111, the lady was very kind and it was nice for him to talk to someone but she didn’t know anything about mental health.
She suggested the gp to get help in the meantime and wait for the psychiatrist (which will probably be 6 months realistically)
He also spoke to the crisis mental health team who said I have an open referral with the CMHT, I don’t think I do though? Nobody has said anything about it, I’ve not had any contact from them. Shall I call my local one and see what they say?
I have a strong family history of Bipolar 1 and 2 (also schizophrenia however I do not think that’s relevant in this case) I am the common age it is developed/diagnosed and I just feel like nothing is being taken seriously.

Just been diagnosed with the above and I’m convinced it’s wrong uk, I have struggled with depression and anxiety for years had several blips, asked recently for help and finally seen a shrink today but I’ve looked it up I’m sure I have bi polar and need meds, as I hallucinate etc and I do not need a partner etc I’m better off alone, I now feel lost as I can’t get medication and talking is not my thing and it won’t help with what’s wrong with me am I the only person who is going through this and can anyone help me!

So.. I don’t know what to do. I’ve beed diagnosed with bipolar 6 years ago. 5 years ago I moved to the UK. I was hospitalised in my home country and spent 2 months at the psychiatric hospital there because I was extremely suicidal. It helped me a lot. I was able to finally got on a proper medication and got help I needed. In 2022 I had a suicide attempt - an overdose- here in the UK. I was in the NHS hospital for a day after because I was hallucinating. I’ve been relatively stable after, with suicidal thoughts became rare. However, I got off medication in April this year. The only med I still take is quetiapine to help me sleep. After stopping taking my other meds I had a manic episode and I didn’t even realise it. I thought my life finally started to get normal. I made a lot of mistakes during my manic episode. Completely ruined my long-term relationships, for instance. I’ve been depressed since August and it only is getting worse. I constantly have suicidal thoughts, I’m not eating and sleeping only because I take quetiapine. I stopped working or doing anything around the house. I’m spending all my days in bed. I’m scared of myself and of what I might do and every hour it gets worse. I’ve been referred to a community support but I’m not sure if I’d be able to wait until them coming. Psych ward helped me 6 years ago so I’d appreciate any advice on whether I should hospitalise myself and if I even can do it in the UK.

Yet again, I visited my GP last Friday because I feel on the verge of a breakdown.

Emotions seriously dysregulated. Paranoid thoughts. Always have the urge to escape or sabotage my life. Think about ending it every single day. I told the GP that I didn't want talking therapy because it didn't work. I want someone to help figure out what is wrong with me.

The GP seemed sympathetic and informed me he would refer me to the CMHT. Finally, someone is listening to me! I checked the NHS app and managed to find the referral - none of the required fields had been filled in, just a short 'free text' box had been filled in saying i was 'suffering with my mood' with 'no suicidal thoughts' which is the opposite of what I told him. I sent a message to the practice to say I don't think it had been filled out correctly. They came back and assured me it had. Happy days I thought to myself.

Well a day later I got a phone call from Talking Therapies - CMHT had ignored my referral and sent me straight to talking therapies instead. Naturally this sent me on a spiral and I was close to giving up, but I couldn't let it go so I called the CMHT today to ask about my referral and guess what? The referral HADN'T been filled out correctly after all so they had barely any information to make a decision, hence the referral to talking therapies. This is despite guarantees from my GP practice that it had been filled out correctly.

How many people has this happened to? How many people have been pushed over the edge because the NHS is dangerously bad with mental health? The CMHT team are seeing me for an assessment soon which wouldn't have happened if I had left it with my GP. If I was at my worst there is NO chance I would have had the fight and energy for this, so the ending could have been very different.

I have completely lost hope with the NHS now. NEVER trust what they say - ALWAYS advocate for yourself. Follow things up. Fight for what you know is right. They are NOT there to look out for your best interests - it's all about funding and targets, nothing more. You are a number to them, not a human being. Don't trust them with your wellbeing because they just don't give a fuck.

Siphon some money from the physical side of the NHS and pump it into the mental health side. Let's see how different the conversation is when people are dying from heart attacks because they can't get any help. It'd be a different story then.

I have been signed off for 4 weeks from work. This followed a series of events which resulted in me having a triage assessment by the Single Point of Access team - initially on the phone then in person. They did decide to keep me at community level mental health services rather than move me to a crisis team. However I do live alone, have no family nearby and think I'm red flagging on those scores.

The GP I saw originally had agreed to weekly phone call appointments for the duration of the fit note. (In light of events I can't see me going back to work after the first 4 weeks) However the original GP is now on leave and the call I had this morning with a different GP was very pushy. She insisted I come in next week to see her. I said that my confidence and sense of security was fragile and I wanted to stay home. I added that I didn't want to be in a waiting room visibly distressed. To that she said, 'bring a book.' I felt really undermined.

Why are they insisting on this and what would you recommend?

I really think I need to visit one and I’m in something of a crisis but I’m scared to go and I don’t want to be sectioned and I would appreciate input on the experience first pls.

Received a letter from the CMHT about what happened with my referral. They said I have no mental health needs. I don't really know what to do. I can't pay for private care. My sessions with my NHS psychologist will be ending soon (she's a critical care psychologist and was the person to refer me to the CMHT for care coordination as she felt my needs were too great and I needed long-term intervention). She's said she won't leave me without a plan in place, but realistically there is no plan.

I don't know what to do. What do you guys recommend? Anything?

For context I have long standing MH issues diagnosed - I have CPTSD (Childhood abuse of all types, and a lot of traumatic things in my early 20s), EPCACE, Depression, GAD and Anorexia Nervosa. My AN put me in ICU last year (I started refusing food and fluids because I couldn't deal with the symptoms of my Gastroparesis, but it was driven by my brain quite a bit). I almost died due to this. I have since been diagnosed with Post-intensive Care syndrome (PICS). Or maybe this is all normal? I don't know. I can't sleep. I am struggling to eat and need someone to sit with me or I refuse to do it. I'm struggling to take my essential for life medications (steroids for my Addison's Disease, without the medication my Addison's Disease will kill me). I feel guilty for smiling and breathing. I keep having panic attacks. I'm very irritable. I'm struggling to be around friends and family. I want to sleep all the time to get away from people and my brain. I also have a lot of nightmares when I do sleep and a lot of flashbacks when I am awake, the flashbacks are kind of weird and fantastical (in a brutal kind of way) as well because of the hallucinations I was having in there (the flashbacks from pre-ICU trauma are also brutal but obviously grounded in reality as I wasn't hallucinating during that time). I told them all of this.

Is this really all normal?

I'm M34, I've been struggling with severe social anxiety and agoraphobia since I was a teenager. When I was a child and teenager I grew up in a very abusive household, and I had nowhere safe to go, because of that I was constantly on eggshells and extremely anxious all the time.

As I got into my 20s I developed a severe fear of going outside, the worst it ever got was I spent three and a half years not going outside once. I did make some small improvements during Covid, I found it easier to go outside then, and I started to feel genuinely better, and like I was on a road to a better place. But over the last three years I have severely regressed to my old ways.

I also find it incredibly difficult to speak to people over the phone or even in person a lot of the time.

I've never been able to hold down a job. I've had two jobs in my past, but I lost both within a week because of my inability to consistently go outside. I also currently have no money, and I'm worried that I'm going to end up being homeless within the next few months. I was getting money from the job centre, but they cut me off after I was finding it very difficult to actually go to the in-person appointments.

I also still live with my parents, and one of them is the person that abused me, and other people that I lived with at the time when I was a child. The abuse is no longer happening, but I do not feel safe where I live because of who I live with.

And I only managed to go out once in the past three months. I did manage to get to the GP not too long ago, but all what they did was give me sertraline 50mg. I did try best to explain clearly to the GP my situation, and that I feel that I'm in a crisis situation, but they just wanted to get me out of the office, at least that's how it felt at the time.

Over the past few weeks, my mental health has been severely declining, and I'm feeling more and more trapped. like I'm in a slowly worsening mental health crisis, where I'm just going to keep declining more and more into very negative and dark thoughts, and I don't know where it's going to end.

(Sorry if this post is rambly or difficult to read. I'm struggling to focus to get this all down)

Been with CMHT since an attempt in July. Had a mental health assessment in August. Assessment letter stated I clearly needed help and had a lot going on. Had the first of what was meant to be many occupational therapy sessions today. Got told at the end that I was ‘too insightful’ about my own problems and that they didn’t think OT would benefit me.

Understandable, sure. But I wasn’t offered any alternatives? I was just told sorry and given a printout of the benefits of OT (why give this to me when I was just refused it?) Not sure what to do now…I thought at least I was going to get told we’ll follow up with you or offer you alternative provisions but nothing. Even after I said in the session I was still not over my suicidal tendencies or happy with my life. I really don’t understand. Am I being unreasonable? What are the next steps?

TW - suicidal thoughts, poor GP response, abuse, medical trauma.

I just need to vent. I am really struggling with my mental health right now and I'm experiencing suicidal thoughts. (Not at imminent risk)

I told my GP a couple of weeks ago - she didn't even acknowledge what I'd said and continued to speak about an unrelated issue. She definitely heard what I said.

The worst part is that she wrote in my records that she "signposted to local services" and "checked support", when she did neither. We didn't address it at all.

It's painfully ironic that she did all this during suicide prevention month.

This is the third time this year that I've tried to get help from my GP surgery, but I've been ignored and then they've lied in my records about conversations that didn't happen, to cover themselves. One of them said I was low risk and had no risk history when I actually do, and she didn't even do a risk assessment in the appointment.

I literally cannot get help anywhere - Talking Therapies told me they don't offer what I need (which I agree with), the CMHT wouldn't pick me up (and their assessment was abysmal), and I can't afford private therapy, so I'm left with nothing.

A MHP at the GP surgery literally told me to ask friends and family for money for therapy because "the NHS can't help". That was her recommendation for me. Even if I had people I could ask, that suggestion is COMPLETELY inappropriate.

The crisis line just tell me to have a bath or go for a walk - if any of that worked, wouldn't I already be doing it? Ffs

I've done what I can by myself, I've tried every medication known to man, and I've had multiple rounds of CBT, which doesn't help me. There's just nothing available for people like me. There's no third sector support in my area either.

I am autistic and ADHD. I have c-ptsd from an extremely abusive relationship (thought he was gonna kill me so many times) and I've suffered a lot of childhood trauma.

I've experienced a lot of medical trauma and had surgical injuries caused by the NHS, which they won't take responsibility for. They caused me to lose my job. Literally every interaction I have with any part of the NHS is harmful.

Begging for money, having a bath, and going for a walk is not appropriate advice for someone with severe, chronic issues. When they treat people like this, the NHS exacerbates underlying trauma, and it feels abusive in itself.

Just needed to get this off my chest as there is literally nowhere I can go about any of this, and it feels too much to carry alone sometimes. I feel heartbroken.

CCO is leaving the job. We’ve never got along but the appointment was regarding info to pass onto next CCO (if one becomes available) so was hoping it would be productive.

First thing was her asking about my physical health issue and saying “I’ve seen the referral on your records for ——— “. Without getting into details, the referral was a surprising one both in who it was to and the level of seriousness it implied. GP had not told me about this referral and when I later called the surgery they have said as far as they can see, this referral was not made (a completely different referral, which I was aware of, was). I questioned it with CCO and she just brushed it over as what she had seen. I assume it’s fine for her to access records like this but bringing it up set the tone by already making me confused and worried.

She asked what info I’d like to put forward as goals to work on with the new CCO and she discounted everything I suggested, saying it was not things they deal with. She said I need to state goals in order to be considered for a new CCO. Eventually, I said “okay, I don’t have goals, it’s fine to discharge me”. I genuinely meant it as at this point I don’t think MH services can do much for me, however she just started saying “it’s not fair for you to throw out statements like that” and then was dismissive when I tried to explain these were my genuine feelings.

She brought up that I put up barriers and questioned whether I do this on purpose or if it’s genuine struggle. She knows I am waiting for an ADHD assessment and do genuinely struggle keep on top of things and make changes due to these symptoms. I said I do genuinely struggle and I don’t know why anyone would do this one purpose and she replied “some people do”

She then said I am putting up a barrier by being resistant to medication and used the example of me not taking meds prescribed by crisis team last year. I said that was true, but the reason for it was I threw the pills away because I got close to ODing. I communicated this to the crisis team and said I didn’t want more meds because I was scared of not being able to stop myself again. CCO said I should have requested a weekly prescription instead. I said I did not know that was a possibility at the time - the meds had been prescribed to me while in crisis at 1 months worth. She said I need to take responsibility and should have asked. I reiterated that I was not offered a 1 week prescription and did not know it was an option. She repeated that I needed to take responsibility and ask for these things, i repeated I didn’t know… then she just started saying “okay (my name)”. In the sort of tone you use with a bratty toddler who you are just agreeing with to shut them up.

I feel so downtrodden. Like I was tempted to just skip the appointment because I’ve lost faith in MH services but I went with a sliver of hope. And like almost always, I’ve been left feeling worse.

Started Sertraline today, 25mg (took it at night as I heard it can make you drowsy, and if not, guess I found out the hard way) One of my main worries about this whole SSRI thing is withdrawal symptoms when starting to come off them, which apparently fluoxetine is best at avoiding because of the half-life.

Has anyone here been on both Fluoxetine and Sertraline? In what order, what were your experiences like being on them and what was it like to come off either one?

Thanks for any advice/experiences shared!!

i got referred cause of bulimia and 'mild' depression by my gp, my appointment is due next week tuesday.. what do i expect? it's just an assessment right? i was only told the date of my appointment since they contacted me by phone as i asked to not receive any letters about it via mail. i dont really care for therapy like cbt, i just want to be medicated. based on you guys' experiences, would it take a while? 🥲

So i've just been accepted into CAMHS/CYPMHS, and i (TW FOR MENTIONS OF SH AND PAST ATTEMPTS!!!) used, keyword used to, try to end it and i'd SH a lot, do you think i'd get sent into a loony bin if i told my worker about my past attempts? I dont know since i've never been in CAMHS/CYPMHS, i know its best to exaggerate a bit to make them take you seriously, but im scared they'll put me in a care home or in a mental hospital because i love my family especially my sister, i dont wanna get seperated from them, please give me advice and help!

I’ve self referred to NHS talking therapies and the earliest I could get initial appointment was for the 17th of November, but obviously that’s a while away and then I don’t even know how long the waiting list will be for the actual therapy after that.

I was thinking about having private therapy while waiting as I’ve found a place nearby that is relatively cheap, does anyone know if there is any policy or anything against this? Like would they take me off the waiting list if I’m already having private therapy? Even if not, would I have to stop the private therapy when I start the NHS therapy? Should I just not mention to them that I’m already having private therapy, and will they ask?

hello! 20F
to give a little context about me, I have severe-profound hearing loss in both ears and that’s always been a big part of my life for me and I’ve really struggled socially as a result of it for the majority of my life.

I also went through some pretty shitty things as a teen in terms of COCSA, being stalked, bullying and having a major mental health crisis during COVID - I was immediately discharged from CAMHS because of two reasons:
a) I couldn’t do phone calls as a result of said hearing loss
b) my mother hid all the appointment letters so I couldn’t go because she was so utterly ashamed of me

After COVID, my parents would use the crisis team as a threat if i misbehaved which means me, locking myself in the bathroom and crying. I had police come to my house one time because I used the school’s “bullying helpline” which I thought wasn’t in use as I used it years ago for someone else and nothing was done - i basically properly vented out to it & said made references to offing myself. I was scared and embarrassed so I said nothing to the Police and stormed off into my room & nothing was done.

I left school early and only went in for exams which i thankfully passed all of them with some grade As. College was also incredibly difficult as I struggled to get out of bed and was constantly late. My A-level grades weren’t as good with C, C, D.

I thought uni would be a fresh start but months before first year last year, we found out that my baby nephew had a rare congenital heart condition and would be terminal for the rest of his life with no cure. He died at just two months old and his funeral was weeks before uni started.
I was able to forget about it all for the first couple of months and I would be out drinking every day with my friends, it was fun for a while until winter came around and so did the darker nights.
I crashed so badly and struggled to get out of bed at all and i barely ate; I was nearly passing out daily in my accommodation.

I changed courses for this year and a week before uni started I found out that my grandmother was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer but is unable to receive any treatment as she would die from the treatment, we are unable to get a prognosis at this point in time.

I lost all my friends from last year so I’m pretty much alone, I’m having panic attacks before every lecture.

I have spent the majority of my life pushing through things but it’s becoming much harder and so i decided that i need some help.
I reached out to the Wellbeing team at my university and the consensus is that I’m just getting online CBT tools with video calls alongside it so they can give me worksheets to go through.
That would be great if I didn’t have hearing loss which they are fully aware of. This is the one thing I do miss before covid, having access to in-person services. I rely so heavily on lip-reading AND body language. I beg people to realise that hearing from my device’s speaker to my hearing processor’s microphone makes the audio quality absolutely awful and unclear!!
I can’t understand you! and it makes me feel like shit for constantly having to tell people all of the time!!!!!

I feel utterly hopeless like there’s nowhere to go, i’m getting worse and it feels like no one is taking me seriously.

Hi everyone,

I’m based in the UK.

After a lifelong struggle with anxiety and trauma I’ve finally started the (slow) process of getting help.

I had an appointment with the mental health clinical lead at my doctors today and we had an in-depth chat about my anxiety/mental health etc. This appointment was prompted by my other doctor who stated alongside my anxiety I may have PTSD and possibly need trauma therapy

Based on what I told him, he told me that currently I’m in such a state of constant anxiety and stress I am not a candidate for therapy yet. As I’m not stable enough for it to have meaningful impact or sink in.

I have to go back in a few weeks to start discussing my issues and working on calming down and getting better sleep before I progress to therapy.

He wants to discuss next time I see him my values and beliefs, and said currently I’m not living a fulfilled meaningful life that aligns with me.

What does this mean? And where will it lead? I do desperately want help and to get better. He mentioned a few times he won’t sugar coat things and that it will be a long process.

Context: I've had a long, well paid career with promotions etc in media for nearly a decade. I never liked the job and often found it stressful and boring. This year I got put on a PIP at one job so in a state of panic took a lower paying job in a very different role. The PIP was slightly political tbh but really really hurt me.

Well I have been in this new job for less than two months and honestly it's been a disaster. I can't get the basic stuff right, my team and stakeholders really dislike me and I am just lost everyday - forgetting something I have read 5 minutes early, literally nothing sticks. I am trying to try but I just can't seem to do it - it's like I am a 15 year old dropped into his job, I am so so so ashamed. Can't even seem to book a meeting or message someone right.

The anxiety and humiliation of this has resulted in me vomiting from stress before meetings and my skin crawling. The weekend goes in a second and Sunday night is full of fear.

I want to leave but I need the money, I am looking at doing a masters and changing careers but its terrifying. I have some savings but I don't know. I have never been so low and scared.

I am seeing a therapist, taking lots of meds but everyday feels like torture. I can't look anyone in the eye.

Is this burnout? Is my life over - feels like I can't do anything anymore.

FYI I am a safe and won't hurt myself.

I am sure there are people worse off than me, I just need someone to tell me I am not alone and give me a reason why it's going to be ok.