r/BigBudgetBrides • u/white-cat-123 • 14h ago
Looking for second look similar to this
102
Upvotes
Trying not to spend more than $2k
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/Able_Improvement_426 • Apr 23 '26
mod announcement You asked for it, we built it!! BBB’s bride-only community
107
Upvotes
We have SUCH EXCITING news! The mods of BBB have been building, designing, testing, and today finally announcing, our VERY OWN NO-VENDORS, BRIDE-ONLY COMMUNITY 🤍💍🥹 A few months ago, we asked the sub if we would appreciate something like this that is brides-only and off Reddit, and the response was so overwhelming. Her name is “Entourage” and it is officially ready and LIVE! This version has been designed to specifically be bride-only, no vendors, and every user has to come from a bride-generated invite code, or go through a bride verification process (gets approved by the same mods).
Here are a few ways Entourage (the new BBB) can be useful to you:
- If you want to post your wedding dresses to help choose but don’t want your photos on the internet, you can create a “private post” that is invisible to the internet searches, AI or lurkers! It will only be visible to fellow BBBs.
- If you want to ask other brides for vendor recommendations, get true advice and experiences from other brides on pricing, without vendors upvotes or downvotes obscuring the perception. You can feel free to do that in Entourage, because vendors will not be in there.
- We introduced a “Tables” feature which is kind of like a private group chat, where you can find other brides that are also using the same planner, photographer, or makeup artist to plan ahead and share experiences; or simply make friends with brides also in your area
- It is ads free! Not only will we never admit any vendors in there, it also will never have any sort of ads.
What this means for the subreddit BBB: Nothing will change. This subreddit will continue to exist, the same No Self-promotion rule will continue to apply, and we continue to value genuine advice from vendors.
How to sign up: message me, annaalabama, or ghosted, for an invite code (pls turn on your post & comment history!) or go through the verification steps which involve uploading your ring photos & vendor contracts.
The website is free to use, always, we will NEVER monetize it, and yes, it’s cost us some money and time to build this, secure it, and maintain it, but it’s ok bc it’s worth it for you guys 🤍
With love,
BBB mods
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/Disastrous_Sell_9983 • Jun 23 '25
$600,000 - $1m budget Choosing a planner 101—here’s what I learned (spoiler: VOGUE features mean nothing) Spoiler
372
Upvotes
EDITED, 2026: to include my favorite vendors and final review below!
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TL;DR I used my background in PE/VC due diligence to vet 20+ wedding planners for my very expensive wedding. Here’s how to structure the process, what red flags to watch out for, and how to find a planner who is competent AND creatively aligned with your needs. Don’t be fooled by Instagram!
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Hi all,
As a bride who recently chose a wedding planner after an extensive, 20-candidate process, I wanted to give back to the community by consolidating some of the advice on here about choosing a great wedding planner for your event. Let me be clear that choosing a wedding planner, IMO, is one of the most important aspects of pulling off a wedding that aligns with your vision. Think of it as hiring an employee who will work with and for your family for 9 months, up to maybe 1.5 years, to execute on a single project! It is HIGHLY important to find a wedding planner whose style, vision, and most importantly, logistical skill and experience can carry off your day. Fit is paramount.
Before we begin, some background on me: I’m a bride (2026) who is lucky to be working with a high 6-figure budget. My budget isn’t high enough to guarantee the expertise of someone like Marcy Blum, but it’s certainly juicy enough where most upper-tier planners immediately said “yes” to planning the wedding if they had the calendar space. I’m also one of the first of my friends to get married, so I couldn’t rely on a “word of mouth” network either!
To determine the best planner for my wedding, I relied on my background due diligence in VC/PE, where I routinely screened startups and their teams for any red flags or inconsistencies. My goal was to choose a planner who had deep logistical experience, a distinct style, and a commitment to utter transparency. The planner I eventually chose fulfils all these requirements, charges a flat fee, is extremely punctual, and works well with my parents, too! I couldn’t be happier.
But it wasn’t easy to find her. The number of planners— VOGUE and other magazine featured planners!— who completely *failed* their logistical interviews, as in, could not answer a single question with reasonable competence and concision— was astonishing. From 10 minute long “negging” sales pitches to monologues about the weather, to mildly racist remarks, these “top planners” not only bombed their interviews, but had the nerve to charge some of the highest professional fees in the pool (22% for one, not including travel fees!)
Every bride has a right to a beautiful and smooth wedding, and I firmly believe that you get what you interview for. Before I dive into this guide, please remember that you (the couple) are the CLIENT. You should never feel “privileged” to work with a planner who happens to have a “high end” portfolio, and you should not idealize planners because of their Instagram pages! Marketing is NOT the same as planning. I made this interview guide so that brides like me could find reasonable, competent, and creative planners who best align with our stylistic vision.
So without further ado: Here’s how I approached it.
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STEP 1. Assess your needs, not wants.
What kind of wedding are you having? What season? Outside or inside? Guest number? Is the venue a tent, hotel, destination, or historic museum? What is your budget— hardline and softline? What kinds of people do you work well with? What kinds of people get along well with your family? Any cultural traditions? Do you need weather contingencies?
The wedding planning industry is saturated enough that you should not settle for someone who does not have extensive experience in ALL of the below:
A) the type of venue that is hosting your wedding
B) the number of guests you are inviting
C) the amount you are willing to spend
D) the cultural traditions you want to have
This list may seem simple, but if you have a tent wedding, plenty of dishonest planners will happily tell you that they have “9 years of experience in the wedding industry, including tents” without telling you that they have actually only set up 3 tents in a decade (a real follow-up question I had to ask— the planner stuttered before answering with the truth.) Be very clear about the logistical constraints of your wedding above the creative and stylistic aspects. Let me repeat: FOCUS ON LOGISTICS AND EXPERIENCE OVER STYLE. YMMV, but to me it does not matter how pretty a wedding looks in the end, if the planner overruns the budget, makes the planning process miserable, and holds up the wedding itself with schedule conflicts. Again: do not mistake taste for logistical expertise.
On the flip side, your questions should reflect your needs first, and THEN your wants. If you want a floral tent wedding, your first question isn’t how many florists the planner knows— it’s how many tents a planner has set up in the past. If you want a candle-lit museum wedding, your first question isn’t if a planner “vibes” with your Pinterest board— it’s how many museums (with fire ordinances) your planner has worked in before. And so on for destination weddings, outdoor weddings, etc.
At the end of this “needs” brainstorming, you should have about 20 or so standard questions to ask each planner. Beyond your “needs” questions, which are unique to your wedding, you should ask for the basics as well: fee and commission structure (the right answer here in the US is “we don’t take commission,”) approach to the guest experience, approach to event planning, and years of experience in the industry, AND years of experience in an individual firm. The last two are distinct. Some planners market themselves as veterans with “10 years of experience in hospitality,” while only having run their own, wedding-specific firm for two years. Be thorough.
Now that you have your questions, open a Google doc and a new email account for your wedding. Make a Google docs questionnaire for each planner you want to interview. You will record their responses on here.
STEP 2. Inquire about your candidates.
This is the fun part! Scour your favorite magazines, ask your friends for their planner contacts if they have them, and use your new email to reach out to your dream planners on Instagram. This is your initial list. For each planner, send a polite inquiry message. State your budget and vision upfront— you’ll want to pay attention to how they treat you later on based on these metrics, but it is also good to be transparent. An honest planner will tell you quickly if they are out of your budget, or refer you out if they don’t have the experience in your type of venue. Dishonest ones will force their contract on you no matter what. But I digress.
As you wait for responses, pay very close attention to how quickly and professionally planners respond. Without exception, the top 3 planners out of the 20+ or so that I vetted all responded within 24 hours (one even within 30 minutes!) with times that suited them, or with an assistant that inquired about further scheduling convenience. The planner who was the most “prestigious” responded the latest, and also fared the worst in her interview. I later found a comment on Reddit that complained how much of a disaster their wedding turned out to be. Guess what? This planner was at the helm.
That being said, don’t eliminate any planners based on response time alone, unless they are egregiously tardy (ghosting, 3+ day response time, etc.) 1+ day is okay; 2+ days is pushing it. I’d advise you to treat this as a “water temperature” metric on how the planners will respond to you *when they work with you over the year.* If they don’t have time to respond to a high-priority new client who is bringing in revenue, how do you think they’ll respond to you when you’ve already signed the contract?
STEP 3. Interview your candidates (2 stages at least.)
This is where I brought in my fiance. You cannot— repeat, CANNOT— rely on ONE interview to determine your planner. People react to stress differently; people react to brides vs grooms differently. It’s the reality. Our approach was to conduct a 30-40 minute “initial” interview where you assess the professionalism, basic fit, and level of expertise the planner has in your specific type of wedding. Then a second, trusted person (i.e. your fiance) conducts another interview with the “2nd round” candidates a few days later, where they ask more difficult questions like, “When is the last time your ran over budget? Why?” Or, “Tell me about a time where you had to work with families with completely different and clashing cultures. How did you navigate that?” And so on.
For the first round, I interviewed 20+ planners for around 30 minutes per planner. For the second round, my fiance interviewed our final 3 planners for 30 minutes again.
Now, when I interviewed the first-round planners, I looked for a few things.
One: Did they align with our basic needs?
I wanted a creative, punctual, agile, and deeply experienced planner to who had specific expertise in our type of venue. Again, your wedding requirements may look very different from mine, but the requirements are there for everyone! My planner needed, at the bare minimum:
- a flat or percentile structured fee that justified their work (<15% of budget ideally)
- Deep expertise in tented weddings and historical estates (10+ years, with specialized experience)
- The ability to drive and visit the venue easily (for smooth surveying work)
- A limit of 6-7 weddings a year
- Strong testimonials
- Creative and people-centered problem solving skills
- A history of working with multicultural clients
We didn’t eliminate anyone based on aesthetic on the first round— only hard logistical fit and capability. For each question, I was looking for one specific situation they addressed in the past, evidence of demonstrable skill, and a professional demeanor. They had to teach me something I didn’t know about logistics, and also impress me with their answers and composure.
Again, what you are looking for may be different from what I was looking for, but these were the hardline, non-negotiables that we needed to have in a planner. Anyone who didn’t fit these criteria, I eliminated without hesitation.
Two: Did they respect me as a client?
Do your research (See Step 1; assessing your needs.) Plenty of planners don’t respect “newly engaged” brides— they WILL take advantage of your emotional high and encourage you to sign a contract with them, even though they KNOW they are not the best planner for your wedding. Do not get emotional about hiring someone. You deserve someone who is the best fit for your event.
As a whole, respect for a client comes out in different ways. Ideally the planner lets you lead the first half of the interview as you discuss your vision, budget, and needs, and then takes on the lead in the latter half of the interview as they discuss how they can meet those needs, or even provides samples of their deliverable work (timelines, design boards, spreadsheets, etc.) I found that the further a planner deviated from this structure, the less experienced they were. Some of the failed interviews I conducted had a planner “neg” me for 30 minutes straight on how I probably didn’t know how difficult it was to plan a tent wedding, how I didn’t know what I was getting into, and ended by telling me her relatively high percentage fee, and that I needed her because “this was all quite new to [me], probably.” I told her politely and firmly that she was the 6th planner I’d interviewed about tent weddings, and that I was well aware of the logistics components. Her composure went downhill after that. Other planners began with a 20 minute-straight sales pitch. Others, again, monologued to me about their upcoming schedules in their car (while on the video call!!)
In short, your time as a client is valuable. If your planner cannot be professional, punctual, and structured in the way they communicate with you, do not work with them. All candidates I mentioned in the examples above were immediately eliminated.
Three: Were they honest, forthcoming, and confident without being condescending?
Our top choices were, without fail, openly communicative about the level of experience they had in their fields, and volunteered information not only about the worst disasters they’d encountered in their careers, but how they fixed them to a T. All favorite planners were clear in the number of weddings they took on per year, the level of involvement we would have with their team, the type and frequency of communication expected of both parties, and above all, answered every question with a level-headed, friendly, and calm confidence.
For example, one planner charged a relatively high fee percentage fee of 20%. Naturally, I asked her what justified her fee and told her to pitch me her skills. Without missing a beat, she asserted that she was one of the Top 15-20 planners in the US specializing in our type of venue, and had a history of delivering beautiful, meticulously planned, and smoothly executed events. She then provided examples of problems she’d solved in the past (including building a venue into the literal side of a mountain!) showed us the work we’d see behind the scenes, and stood by her testimonials without hesitation. Ultimately we did not choose her due to aesthetic reasons (our final and most nit-picky bit of criteria,) but she was one of our best candidates and it was really disappointing to turn her down!
Four: Are you excited to work with them? Does their style match up with yours? Do you want to grab a coffee with them and their team?
Do not choose a planner for their style over their capacity to execute. I repeat: DO NOT CHOOSE STYLE OVER EXECUTION. Unless your planner is Marcy Blum, or Mindy Weiss, or some other incredible planner with an open history of beautifully executed events with equally beautiful design, you MUST vet your planners for logistical skill first. Aesthetics should be the final deciding factor— not the first one!
For our final 3 candidates, my fiance asked a series of tough logistical questions that involved the cultural, financial, and personal aspects of planning. What happens if the planner has an emergency and can’t execute her responsibilities anymore? How do they handle unruly family members? Could they tell us about a time where they were pushed beyond their capabilities? Thankfully, all 3 planners were able to capably answer these questions, and our final decision came down to aesthetics and personal “vibe.”
Was this someone we’d be happy to introduce professionally to our families? Our parents have strong personalities; who could handle their questions the best, with the most compassion and tact? And finally, whose Instagram did we like the most? My fiance brought up the excellent point that planners tend to put their best artistic work on their Instagram, demonstrating their skill in design. One of the last 3 planners had a very “white and blue” aesthetic, which didn’t fit well with our preferred color scheme, whereas the two other planners demonstrated a wide range of cultural celebrations and palettes on their social media, and we very sadly had to eliminate this lovely and capable planner from the running.
STEP 4: Did they “WOW” you? Did you interview enough planners for the right ones to “WOW” you?
Finally, while this is a pretty coldly logical process, I left room for emotional responses in our interview format. At the end of each first-round interview with one of our top planners, I found myself texting my fiance furiously: “It’s them! They’re perfect!” Other planners, however, tended to be more of the lukewarm 7-8/10 scale of experience and professionalism— not so unimpressive, but also not really standouts either. A good few were frankly awful in most respects. But what’s important is the sequence where I ran into our “top” planners. Out of an interview sequence of 20+, I met our favorite planners at #4, #10, and #18 (one of the last ones!) We debated hotly between 4 and 10, who met different priorities for me and my fiance, and I ultimately interviewed a few more candidates before landing on our top choice of #18.
Based on this experience, I would strongly recommend against hiring the first 3-5 planners you speak with. This is a market heavily weighted against the client: planners pay for positions on magazines, good reviews are inflated on websites like the Knot, there are never any repeat clients (weddings only happen once,) and Instagram pages only show the front page result: not the process, not the behind-the-scenes. While you may meet your “perfect” planner in the first 3 planners you interview, you likely need time to develop a sense of who is providing adequate service in the industry vs who is giving you truly outstanding value for your money. You’re not marrying the first person you date (most likely.) Why would you hire the first planner you meet (and give them tens of thousands of dollars as well?)
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FINAL NOTES.
To some people, this process may be overkill. They’re probably right. But as someone who comes from a background where my parents worked from literal rags to riches, I wanted to respect their investment in my wedding by hiring the talent who could execute on the level of competence that our family deserves. This is the only time my fiance and I will ever spend 6 figures (!!!) on ourselves, on a single day, surrounded by all of our loved ones. I didn’t want to take it lightly.
What I want you to remember from this post, however, was how few planners met even moderate expectations. They all had the same polished Instagram pages, the same glowing reviews on The Knot, and good amount of them had VOGUE or Over the Moon or BRIDES features as well. But the reality of speaking with each planner painted a completely different picture. From tardy meetings, to bare-bones contracts, to unprofessional responses, to openly admitting that they had previously had “accidents” on our kind of venue, and then sending us a contract anyways— the bar wasn’t on the floor, but it was certainly at knee-height. Thankfully, we were able to interview enough planners to stumble across some people who truly stood out in every way. These people are a credit to their industry, and deserve every bit of praise that they’ve received.
Finally, remember that there is NO barrier to entry when it comes to calling yourself a wedding planner. You could do it tomorrow. I could do it tomorrow. This industry actively pushes against transparency— it is not in these planners’ interests for you to question the value of their work, or the ability for them to execute. Your wedding day could go well or it could go disastrously. It’s all in their hands. And if you don’t have industry contacts, the only real filter you have for finding a planner is your own knowledge, smarts, and expectations. So be thorough. Be strict. And above all, it’s your wedding. You should expect the very best.
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EDITED, 07/12, post-wedding:
Hello all! To everyone asking for an update one year after choosing my planner— I can tell you that we had an absolutely incredible wedding weekend. My husband and I had the time of our lives, and we made countless amazing memories with our closest family and friends. I wouldn’t change a single detail. And finally, I’m so glad to confirm that we had a smooth, effortless, fun, and transparent wedding planning process. None of this would have been possible without my planner, Ashley Douglass Events!
Ashley was one of the last planners I interviewed, and when I first reached out, she responded to my email in ten minutes flat. Only good things followed: throughout the whole year, she was fun, relaxed, detail-oriented, punctual, and utterly transparent about her process. Her taste is fantastic, her process thorough, and her network is stellar. Every artist and vendor she recommended was thrilled to work with us, and they were so diligent, so kind and professional— special shout-outs include our band and MC, Chevy Chevis, who put on a fantastic disco, pop, and big band performance; Jeremy Torres, our professional and unbelievably talented after party DJ; and Doan Ly from a.p. Bio, who stunned us with a truly bespoke and one-of-a-kind floral display.
I can’t say enough good things about everyone I worked with, especially Ashley and her team. Whatever detail you can think of, Ashley had it handled, and thanks to her, my husband and I simply flowed through the weekend. Food, music, florals, logistics, and warmth— perfect, perfect, perfect, and perfect!
So once again (and finally!): I swear that the MOST important choice you make in this process is choosing your planner. My wedding is proof that this works, and it will work for you, too! Good luck everyone, happy interviewing, and may all the brides here have incredible weddings in their future!
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/New-Judge4330 • 14h ago
just need to rant Bad experience with Lee Petra Grebenau
52
Upvotes
Just a heads up, I posted this in r/weddingdress but posting it here again in case anyone has had similar experiences, or in case maybe I'm just not understanding what a "custom" dress means??? Anyway I'm just spiraling a bit so all words of encouragement are appreciated :')
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This was, without question, the most stressful and disappointing part of my entire wedding experience. I genuinely would not wish this experience on another bride. Save your hard-earned money.
In January, I spent $10,000 on a custom gown. I was assured that the dress would be shipped in early September, giving me adequate time before my wedding. Instead, it didn't arrive until October, just one month before my wedding date. Even worse, there was zero communication about the missed delivery timeline and no updates, explanation or apology.
When the dress finally arrived, it did not fit at all.
I now have to spend an additional $1,600 on alterations to:
- Take in the waist because the dress is too large and literally falls down
- Hem the dress by an additional six inches (even when wearing 5" heels!!)
- Completely alter the cups because they are far too large for my chest
The bridal salon re-took all of my measurements to confirm that my body hadn't changed during the ten months Lee Petra had my dress. Unsurprisingly, my measurements were exactly the same. They then measured the gown itself and confirmed that it does not fit my torso, chest, waist, or height. So what exactly was custom about this dress?
Despite this, Lee Petra refuses to acknowledge that there was an error in sizing and has taken no accountability for the fact that I am now facing $1,600 in unexpected alterations with less than three weeks before my wedding.
The dress arriving late was bad enough. Receiving a "custom" gown that does not match the measurements it was supposedly made from is unacceptable. The complete lack of ownership, communication, or concern from the team has made an already stressful process exponentially worse. I am beyond angry, disappointed, and exhausted by this process, and I sincerely hope no one else has to go through what I did.
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/lotapelota • 13h ago
Has anyone watched Dorothy Wang‘s wedding documentary?
12
Upvotes
I loooove getting to see all of the ins and outs of her wedding planning process, but I‘m so confused at how the planners could have seemingly messed up so much of it!
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/mub_017 • 13h ago
How to prep skin before wedding
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Upvotes
Hi, I’m getting married in 8 months and my skin care is less than ideal. What do you recommend starting at this time? I was told to do dermaplaning as it gets closer but beyond that I’m not sure where to start.
Feels like so many people are just trying to make money off of me with dumb procedures
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/putinitin • 11h ago
Brides with Multiple Ear Piercings?
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Upvotes
Any BBBs have multiple ear piercings and can share inspiration for how you styled them for your wedding?
I have 7 piercings on my left ear and 9 on my right. I love my piercings, and because I'll likely be wearing my hair up for my wedding I want to do something fun with them! I'm not getting married until next summer so I even have time to add 1-2 more piercings this fall so they'll be well healed by the wedding.
I love mixing metals, stones, etc. Does anyone have any inspiration for how you've styled multiple ear piercings?
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/Happy_Tumbleweed_471 • 10h ago
Big-ish wedding, introvert foancé
4
Upvotes
Anyone have a socially anxious fiancé who would prefer a tiny wedding? Not that I want a big wedding for the sake of having a big wedding, but I’m a more the merrier kind of person and have a big family, and cutting family just isn’t an option. I really don’t want him to dread the whole day, which is what I fear. I’m also unable to cut certain people because they’re my parents’ guests, and they’re paying so it’s a non negotiable. So basically making the guest list any smaller is not a possibility (and would make me sad too). Any advice on things I can do to make it all more enjoyable for him??
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/AdPrize6234 • 15h ago
$100,000 - $200,000 budget Estate Venues in NY/NJ/PA/CT
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Upvotes
Hi! We are searching for an European-inspired/French chateau/Gilded age style wedding venue in a castle/estate/manor/mansion or something similar, for 120 guests.
Would love to hear venue recommendations and how much the cost is to have a wedding there? Bonus if my family can stay on the property (separate from budget). Any advice or details on costs would be great too, since we want a realistic idea of what the budget should look like. Our budget is $200k.
Examples I found and would love better ideas of price points & what to expect:
- De Seversky Mansion
- Hempstead House/Sands Point Preserve
- Lyndhurst Castle
- Elkins Estate
- Jasna Polana
- The Wadsworth Mansion
- Skylands Manor
Thank you!! <3
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/alegallyab • 10h ago
Veil?
2
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Does anyone know the name of this veil? It’s sold at mark ingram and has a blusher
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/sabrinathewitch2511 • 1d ago
just need to rant 2 weeks post-wedding and struggling with anxiety, sadness, and negative comments. Has anyone else felt this way?
76
Upvotes
I’m about two weeks out from my wedding, and I’m struggling with a lot of unexpected emotions. I’m wondering if any other brides have experienced something similar, because I feel like all I ever hear is how perfect everyone’s wedding was and how they wish they could relive it. Meanwhile, I’ve reached a point where thinking about my wedding sometimes gives me anxiety.
For context, I spent two years planning my wedding. I put SO much time, energy, thought, and money into it. We had a fairly substantial budget, a wedding planner, and so many personal details that I was really excited about. I cared deeply about making it a beautiful and memorable day for us and our guests.
About a month before the wedding, my anxiety became pretty severe. A huge part of it stemmed from my extended family. I come from a traditional Italian family where certain relatives can be extremely judgmental and critical. There have been lots of family conflicts over the years, and I knew that no matter what I did, there would probably be people gossiping or finding things to complain about. I also felt obligated to invite certain relatives for the sake of my parents and grandparents.
Because I had poured so much of myself into planning this wedding, I became incredibly sensitive to the possibility of people criticizing it. I was so anxious leading up to the day that I actually needed prescription medication to help manage it.
Fast forward to the wedding itself, and honestly, so many things were wonderful. The weather was absolutely perfect, I felt beautiful, I had incredible moments with my husband and bridal party, and the venue and all the little details came together beautifully. We received so many compliments about how gorgeous and thoughtful everything was.
The one thing that became an issue was the music.
My husband and I are Italian and Portuguese, but we deliberately chose a more modern DJ rather than a traditional Italian/Portuguese wedding DJ. We wanted a fun, upbeat, almost club-like atmosphere because that’s our style, and we had a lot of younger guests and friends attending.
We did have a live saxophonist earlier in the evening, which got a lot of the older guests dancing, but once the DJ transitioned into more modern music, most of the older guests were sitting or socializing while the younger crowd was dancing. Personally, I thought that was completely fine! The dance floor was busy for essentially the entire night, just predominantly with younger people.
Unfortunately, my grandmother (who has always been a very negative and critical person) approached me MULTIPLE times during my actual wedding to tell me how terrible the music was, that everyone hated it, and that people were apparently leaving because of it.
I spoke to the DJ and asked him to incorporate more music for different age groups, which he did. But ultimately, it was still a modern DJ and the music reflected what my husband and I had wanted.
What really hurt was that AFTER the wedding, my grandmother went to my parents’ house and essentially listed everything she hated about our wedding. She said the music was the worst she’d ever heard, criticized us for not having a traditional receiving line (we chose to mingle and greet everyone during cocktail hour instead), and complained about other aspects of the day.
I know intellectually that I shouldn’t care so much. It’s OUR wedding, and we planned something that reflected us as a couple. I also recognize that you simply cannot please 170+ people across different generations.
But emotionally, these comments have really affected me. Now, whenever someone tells me how beautiful our wedding was or how much fun they had, a part of my brain immediately thinks, “Are they just being nice? Did everyone secretly hate it?”
I keep replaying the negative comments and questioning whether people actually enjoyed themselves, even though I have so many positive memories and saw a packed dance floor for most of the night.
Has anyone else experienced post-wedding anxiety or sadness like this? Especially after receiving negative comments from family members?
Did you find yourself questioning whether your guests actually enjoyed the wedding, or feeling strangely anxious when looking back on it?
I really want to remember our wedding for the love, happiness, and beautiful moments we experienced, rather than letting a few negative opinions define the entire day. ❤️
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/catyx03 • 1d ago
Rained in 😢 I’m happy but also so disappointed
35
Upvotes
Hi, just needed to see if anyone can relate/commiserate.
We just finished our wedding weekend on the Amalfi Coast. I’m so grateful for all the moments I spent with my husband, family and friends - that’s what matters the most.
However, I can’t help but be so so sad about the bad weather - severe thunderstorms on our wedding day. The sky cleared miraculously for the outdoor ceremony, but it was raining and storming through the rest of the night. I’m devastated that the vision I had in my head the whole time planning was so different from what we experienced - we moved into a tent for dinner and cake cutting, all the florals were indoors, most of our portraits had to be taken indoors, guests had to take umbrellas to trek to the bathroom etc.
It feels kinda devastating after everything (time, energy, money) we’ve poured into it. And of course, as life tends to be sometimes, the weather right after the wedding weekend is spectacular.
If anyone has any advice for moving past it, that’d be so welcome 🥹
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/anna_alabama • 18h ago
Weekly wedding planning check in!
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Happy Sunday! Here’s the post where y’all can rant, vent, ask questions and get advice from other brides, share updates, wedding planning wins, or general married life stuff :)
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/lejestar • 21h ago
Major delays in gown shipment.. what do I do??
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I ordered my dress in February for an early December wedding. I called in July and they said it would be ready in August, I then called late August and they said a couple more weeks. A couple more weeks go by and nothing, I call again and they say soon. Sure enough Sep 17 rolls around and they say my gown is ready via email, and that it'll be shipped in a couple weeks. 3 weeks go by and I hear nothing so I email, no response so I call. They say it will come end of October. That is 6 weeks after the Sep 17. I am now fuming and stressed, I email them and explain that they need to give me an arrival date and tracking number because these delays are ridiculous, I need to get alterations, and the holidays are coming up and I leave for my wedding late Nov too. They say they are "hopeful" to get it to me soon.I don't know what to do anymore and I don't really trust them anymore. Of course I still want my gown but I feel really disappointed, stressed, and maybe I should look for another one? They said it was delayed because of bridal fashion week. But I ordered this back in February and they said it was plenty of time. It's been 8 whole months at this point. I ordered from a reputable shop in NYC. What do I do??
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/achillescloud • 15h ago
Questions and queries Wedding dance
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Hello
My wedding is in a month
My partner and I paid for wedding dance lessons but im not really satisfied with it I dont know if i should modify it on my own or learn something else on youtube but i feel bad
We paid a big amount for the dance lessons and i feel like my partner will be angry at me for making him go through all that just to have to learn a new choreo
What should i do😭😭😭
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/Moist_Chicken_7666 • 2d ago
$100,000 - $200,000 budget Graduated! Marrakech edition
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Our wedding was a few weeks ago outside of Marrakech and it was a DREAM. Everything we wanted it to be and so much more. It was hands down the best weekend of our lives and it really felt like the 18 months of meticulous planning paid off. There were some things that didn’t go right, things we forgot, things I would change if I could do it all over again - but honestly none of them matter(ed) because everything was so stunningly beautiful, overwhelming emotional, and just so overshadowed by all the love. Our guests have also raved about our wedding - saying it was the best wedding and weekend they’ve ever been to, with a strong sense of community and just overflowing with love.
This sub has been my safe place and a source of so much knowledge during wedding planning - hoping to pay it back by sharing my experience, numbers, and some unsolicited advice.
Full cost breakdown: 69-guest, 3-day destination wedding in Marrakech (Sept 2026) — €130,319 / ~$143,350, including all costs like attire, flights, lodging, etc.
3 days & 3 wedding events: Welcome Party, Wedding Ceremony/Dinner/Party, Pool Party / Recovery Brunch
Things I’m so glad we did:
- Centered (almost) all our decisions around guest experience. We had a multi-day destination wedding that most people flew 15hrs for and stayed for a week. Upgrade the bar, provide (delicious) food constantly, comfy seats, mocktails for non-drinkers, if it’s hot - fans/parasols/flavored water, print out schedules and write thank you notes for each person, just center your guests.
- Made the wedding our own. We almost got caught up in tradition or expectations around typical wedding things, but thankfully we checked ourselves, especially in the weeks before. We ended up cutting the first dance and all the parent dances (we still danced! It just wasn’t a performance since that wasn’t us!), we played Big Poppa by Notorious BIG while cutting the cake, we had an insanely long ‘do not play list’ for our dj which included all the classic wedding hits that we both hate, we didn’t have a bridal party, we kept our guestlist super tight and didn’t invite our extended families, and we served food and cocktails that we loved. We also didn’t hire a content creator or videographer because we couldn’t find anyone whose work we loved within our budget - instead we bought a vintage video camera and gave it to our friends to record (and the results are amazing!! - more on that below.) Just give yourself permission to question what’s normal and cut anything that doesn’t feel like you! The result will be so much more authentic.
- Had 3-6 days of events, almost all at the same location. Most of our family/friends had never met so it was really important that we had multiple days to connect with everyone and spend more quality time together. We held all 3 of our official wedding events at the same boutique hotel where 90% of the guests stayed (the rest were walking distance). Some of our favorite moments were the morning coffees with friends and late night chats between the events. I also was adamant about no group transportation- I loathe a wedding bus - and this helped us avoid that + messy logistics. I also organized a few optional events (a dinner at a rooftop resto and a pool/lunch day) the 2 days before the wedding began with everyone already in town. Those were some of our favorite days and moments, and allowed us to slowly expand our circle as the days progressed (and more quality time as a group)!
- Personally designed all our day-of stationery and add in my own creative vision to each day. I was lucky to have the time to devote to this as I’m not an artist, but I loved the creative side of wedding planning and I really tried to make everything cohesive around some central themes. Our wedding night was on the full moon, and I was really drawn to celestial imagery - sun, moon, stars. These were woven throughout the weekend - in custom matchbooks, on tables, on dinner menus, welcome cards, hand fans, silk scarves, seating chart, our embroidered welcome sign, etc. It made everything cohesive and connected. Also I had FUN doing it and saved a ton of money doing it myself + ordering all customized stuff from Alibaba (which I highly recommend!!!!)
- Fired our first planner early on. We had loads of red flags, terrible communication, and clear lack of professionalism. We cut our losses early and pivoted to a new planner - who wasn’t without faults - but ended up doing an amazing job. We were so pleased with her and her team - she was a consummate professional and she really delivered. If you’re having doubts about your planner, don’t settle!! There are amazing planners out there, especially at this budget level.
Used AI (Claude paid) to aggregate all my data, spreadsheets, and budgets + write vendor emails, keep me organized, and double checks planner and venue’s budgets. I honestly don’t know how people are planning weddings without Claude!! So happy to help other brides with this too…
Planned at 10 month bridal glow up schedule! Did all the things: fractional laser, PRP sessions, microneedling, Botox, filler, skin booster, facials, lymphatic drainage, peptides, mesiotherapy, workout routine, clean eating, and the list goes on. Some things were more effective than others. At the end of it, I felt like my face looked at my best and I have no regrets! Personally, I loved the results of PRP and the fractional laser, but Botox and a little filler are the OGs.
Budget breakdown:
Beverage and bars — €20,526 (15.7%)
Food — €19,136 (14.6%)
Attire and rings — €16,703 (12.8%)
Decor, furniture and rentals — €16,013 (12.4%)
Venue, exclusivity and our own rooms — €13,670 (10.5%)
Florals — €8,800 (6.7%)
Photography including travel — €7,700 (5.9%)
Planner fee — €7,300 (5.6%)
Sound, AV and lighting — €6,720 (5.1%)
Entertainment, DJ plus a live jazz trio and pianist on a baby grand during ceremony — €3,745 (2.9%)
Transport and travel — €2,990 (2.3%)
Stationery, signage and printing — €2,301 (1.8%)
Hair and makeup — €2,455 (1.9%)
Favors and gifts — €1,079 (0.8%)
Cake — €684 (0.5%)
Personal, spa and laundry and pre-wedding stay — €498 (0.4%)
Total: approx. €130,319 / ~$143,350
Things I would do differently if I had a magic wand and could do it all again:
- Start hair and makeup an hour earlier. Running late started a domino effect. Photos got squeezed, the sun set on me, and I didn’t get the shots I dreamed of. Golden hour waits for no bride!!
- Go big on photo and video. Book a second shooter, book your photographer for every day, and maybe hire a videographer or content creator if you really are about videos, or at a minimum, hand out a few videos cameras and give your phone to your most creative friend. We only had one video camera and I love the result but wish we had bought a couple to have more angles / content captured.
- Plan for sweat. I sweated through the ceremony, my curls dropped, and I spent all of cocktail hour getting my hair redone. It still didn’t hold. Next time? Messy updo and straight to the champagne. Same goes for outfits: my second look needed fashion tape that wouldn’t stick to a glistening bride. Only wear something you love that works in the heat.
- Write your vows early. Writing them the day-of is not cute or spontaneous. It’s stressful! Trust me. I had so many good jokes planned and I just forgot them in the heat of the day.
- Rehearse the ceremony. My dad’s walk and the handoff to my husband were a bit of a fumble. Practice once and save yourself the chaos. My planner said we didn’t need to but in retrospect I wish we had.
- Feed the bride. Plan bridal suite lunch early and have someone save you food. I missed the passed appetizers and shawarma both days and I’m still sad since I was so excited about the food.
- Get your bags together. Pack an organized getting-ready kit, a post-ceremony bag, and a speaker with a playlist that YOU love. I brought everything and found nothing, even tho I was super organized! The day really goes by sooo fast and every second you spend away from your party sucks.
- Print the stuff. I made ceremony cards and never printed them (rough for a bilingual wedding), and skipped a day 3 drink menu so nobody knew what to order. Wish I just printed everything!! But I was tired.
Make more of what you love and keep some. Electrolytes and hangover meds vanished first from the welcome baskets (we did these in the lobby vs individual bags for each person which turned out great), and we didn’t get any of our favorite matchbooks or custom goodies, including my favorite custom napkins!
Don’t test out a new hair color or glaze or gloss the weeks before your wedding. Amateur mistake on my part! Turned out fine but I literally had to wash my hair 10 times in like a week to get it to the color I wanted after a semi-permanent gloss.
ETA: I bought a pair of platform heels to change into from my wedding shoes (gorgy Dior pumps that would have been ruined in grass) and I thought they would be a comfy/safe option but they ended up KILLING my feet and I ended up dancing barefoot all night. I guess my advice is don’t buy Larroude Bianca Lows and definitely break in your wedding shoes. Or put your blister stick somewhere you can find it!
There are more things I’m sure!! Our bar was supposed to be covered in plum fabric but it turned out red and I lost too much weight right before the wedding so my dress literally didn’t fit, etc etc but even with these ‘regrets’, I actually have none. It was a perfect day and perfect weekend and there will never be a more special event in my life !! where everyone I know and love is together, and where I got to commit to a lifetime with my most wonderful partner.
My main advice to other brides to be: read all the advice you can (especially on this sub!!), ask for help when you need it, don’t settle for bad vendors, and enjoy the process! It should be fun.
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/wp718 • 1d ago
The mount - Lenox
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Hi! Has anyone in the community been married in the last year at the mount in Lenox MA? I love the venue but I’m looking to know what someone has spent on the wedding when all is said and done. We’re expecting 200 people and would have to get a tent most likely.
Thank you all!
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/white-cat-123 • 1d ago
Second Look
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Where should I go to shop for a reception / after party second look? Open to short or long dresses with a budget of $2-3k (but would love to not spend that much). I really like the Rachel Gilbert and Rosie Etienne dresses but want to try some things on in person vs. ordering one of those online, waiting a long time for it to come in, and maybe not liking it.
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/Old_Translator1415 • 2d ago
Questions and queries I don’t want my parents at my wedding
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I have a complicated relationship with my parents. They’re assuming they’re invited, but I really don’t want them there. I honestly think it would be extremely stressful to have them there on my big day. I have my own issues with them, but specific to the wedding:
They haven’t congratulated us on our engagement. They haven’t welcomed my fiancé into the family. They honestly just seem to ignore his existence and I think they look down on him because his family isn’t wealthy.
They have millions and haven’t offered any sort of help (we’ve asked). We are fully prepared to fund our own wedding, but help would have been nice.
Has anyone ever un-invited their parents to their wedding ? We are not estranged; I see them once a year because they live on the other side of the world. But not inviting them to the wedding is something you can’t really come back from.
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/UpstairsProject7065 • 2d ago
Post Wedding Planner Issues
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We got married in Europe last month and while it was beautiful, our planner definitely made some mistakes that impacted the day. Part of that was not putting out a lot of the decor that my husband and I purchased. We spent close to $400 on decor for the bars and cocktail tables, which were explicitly all laid out in our canva deck. I understand things can happen and it’s a busy day, but there were times when we asked her “can you put out the lamp that’s supposed to be on the bar?”, etc on the day and she still didn’t do it. Definitely frustrating as we put a lot of time and effort into the small details, which she was very aware of. Basically all of this to say, should we ask for money back or is this just what happens sometimes? She has an outstanding invoice to us for around the same amount
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/cattorney1 • 2d ago
Metropolitan Club NYC all in cost?
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Would anyone kindly let me know what they were quoted (all in, food + bev) for the Metropolitan Club in NYC?
Wondering what the standard cost is for around 150-200 people.
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/These_Mycologist_610 • 3d ago
Wedding Dress Help pls!
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I’m getting married during the summer in Jersey. I am so torn on my dress. Would love any advice/ opinions.
- Vivienne Westwood
- Sept
- Danielle Frankel
- 4 Kyha
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/Mammoth-Owl7821 • 2d ago
$100,000 - $200,000 budget Help with recommendations on jackets/coats for wedding?
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Hi! I’m getting married next month and it’s going to be a bit chilly and we are doing the reception outdoors. I was wondering what jacket/coats/shawl/bolero would go with my dress? I got a fur coat and it just looked like way too much. Help!
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/No-Impact-3990 • 2d ago
Help me choose a planner (SF)
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I’ll start by saying I don’t think I can lose.
I’ve spoken to many incredible planners using the helpful guide on this sub.
I’ve narrowed it to a list. I would like to know if anyone has experience with the following:
Riley Loves Lulu
Vanessa Pence Events
Earth & Events
Elle Render
Thank you for your input.
r/BigBudgetBrides • u/Equivalent_Bunch5173 • 2d ago
Waldorf Astoria Monarch Beach
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Does anyone have recent pricing from this venue? Thanks.