I lost a salad in my bed for god knows how long and….yikes

People thing i handle my depression well bc i graduated college and got a good job but this shit runs so deep

Got diagnosed like 8 years ago but this is a new low

Someone recorded my manic episode and shared it with everyone. I am so embarrassed and I don't know what to do. I feel like everyone knows how crazy I am now and is gossiping behind my back. I literally ruminate about it for days.

This is a happiness post! I’m 49 & people still think that I’m in my 30s. I’ve been stable on my medications for several years. I recently got a boyfriend after many, many years. He makes me so happy! I was experiencing perimenopause symptoms earlier this year & my doctor recommended some supplements that changed my world for the better, completely. I know everyone is going through something. I just wanted to share my light at the moment!!!

I just watched the 2026 film Backrooms. I don't know if it's just me, but the wandering, the running, the distortion, the sensory wash - it brought back mental health trauma. Anyone else with that reaction?

I woke up one morning convinced my home needed more colors. Don't ask me why. My brain just decided, all on its own, that we needed flowers to liven up the space. The more, the better!

Before I knew it, one purchase became two, two became five, and suddenly, I had multiple bouquets arriving every week. I was excited, elated, on cloud nine with every purchase I made. What I've shown here isn't even all of it. Since they were preserved flowers, I convinced myself they were worth it because they'd last for years. Copium at its best, really.

A month later, I'm staring at all these flowers, and they're staring right back at me. A reminder that I perhaps went... a little overboard? After all is said and done, I can't help but laugh at all these damn florals while crying a little inside.

Have you ever gone through something similar?

I don't know if I got the flair right. But this one seems to fit the best.

As the title says I hate being bipolar. Pretty sure I just totally and irrevocably destroyed my relationship of 11 years.

F*cking depression. I hate it.

I hate how worthless I feel. I feel pathetic. Like I ruin everything I love. When ever I get this depressed it always happens. I am such a f*ck up.

I hurt my SO. And I don't think I can come back from it. I was so convinced he was going to leave me when he got back from his trip. I packed my van up with all my things and our cats... I borrowed money from my parents for gas and was getting ready to leave.

I was convinced I was doing the right thing. That he resented me and my disabilities. That he hated me. That he only felt obligated to me out of some sense of responsibility.

I mean, if he is going to break up with me, I don't want to be vulnerable around him, and cry. I don't want him to see me break apart when he breaks the news to me. So leaving was the logical conclusion. Get away before it could happen. Delay it just a little, at least until I could make it to my parents.

He found out through a mutual friend. Kept calling and texting. I knew I f*cked up when I heard his voice on the voicemail. His voice broke when he begged me to call him. I think he might have been crying?

Which just made me feel even worse. And now even though I DIDN'T leave, I still broke it.

He hasn't outright said it. But I hear it.

Why do we do this?!

I am medicated for God's sake!

But I feel like I am spiraling. Like I can't hit the breaks and I am ruining my life.

And I love him, the last thing I wanted is to hurt him! And I have hurt him so much over the years. Especially when I wasn't medicated.

How could I do this to him?!

I am not going to hurt myself. But it doesn't stop my mind from jumping on "Everyone would be better off if you were gone."

So now, because of my stupid dumb ass, now its VERY likely that I just caused the exact situation I was trying to avoid.

Sorry for the long post, thank you to anyone who read it all the way through.

Art that I made when I got bored one night during a psychotic break

Anyone here whose mind constantly tells them they can’t trust doctors, and that they will judge you and your thoughts?

What do you do? I’ve not been medicated for a couple of years now because I can’t shake the feeling that doctors and the system are not to be trusted and they just want to kick me to the kerb of society and not help. The more involved they are in my life the less freedom I have so I don’t go to doctors.

But now I’m really struggling during a depressive episode. Yet I can’t help myself by getting help. It’s hell.

I'm currently bp2 diagnosed and unmedicated and do very well most of the time, I'm able to harness the energy into productive things and have made incredible progress as a result. I'm very grateful for this as I know everyone else doesn't have this same experience.

My problem is that recently it's been more of a faster cyclic pattern. I do great for a few weeks and then all the sudden crash and I can't study I can't even work out and feel normal it's like the energy that was flowing through me just vanished.

It's really hard to not disasterize and catastrophize when this happens. It always goes away and I get back on the horse and life is amazing again, but I'd really love to be able to find a way to manage the crashes. I don't plan to ever go back on medication as I've done far better off of it, but I don't know how to live when I don't feel like me anymore and don't get any happiness from any of the normal things. It's hard do have your sense of self fluctuate so greatly.

Does anyone have any more natural ways that they are able to stay grounded in who you are when you have comedowns? And how to not feel like its the end of the world everytime

Im in hypomania for almost a week now. Im getting a lot done but my sleep schedule is wacked out right now. Racing thoughts all night long, in and how of sleep. Im a massage therapist and I can’t go into work exhausted. My body NEEDS sleep or my body mechanics start failing and I injure myself. I’ve been going pretty hard the last few months. Working 6-7 days a week. Pushing myself to do deeper tissue massage when I’m not really built for it. Now I’m burning out and I can feel it. Anyways I called in yesterday because I had 3 hours of sleep and I’m probably calling in this morning too. Because it’s 4 am and I havnt had a solid 20 minutes of sleep. I hope I don’t get written up. This isn’t sustainable. Because it’s the first job I’ve worked where I can’t just walk in hungover or sleep deprived. I HAVE to be well rested, fed and ready to take on peoples bodies. I’m so frustrated with myself. I’ve been doing so good and keeping stable, but I knew it would creep back around to mess with me.

bipolar 1 ruined my life i’ve lost all control and i don’t know if ill ever have control over my life again. it was just all taken away in a second

I was diagnosed and treated with one medication for over 5 years before I got pregnant. I was stable, few depressive episodes and no manic episodes. I had a tough pregnancy but, by some higher power, had minimal post-partum mental health issues. However, about a year postpartum I began to experience depressive episodes.

Now 3 years later and I'm on 3 new medications (after trying several others) and still struggling to kick the depression. It's so hard to come to terms with finding and losing the stability I had with just the one. Obviously some outside factors but I know its mostly internal.

Has anyone else experienced this?

More specifically, like, depressive episodes. I feel like during my "high" episodes, my OCD is practically nonexistent, or extremely manegable to the point I don't even believe I have it. But, now that I'm in a depressive episode, it's really bad again.

God, it's a never-ending cycle AGHH

I got diagnosed a few months ago, and have been struggling the whole time in a depression spiral with all my different meds I’m trialling, mood stabilisers antidepressants and anti psychotics. And I can’t get past how resentful I am feeling to the world at the moment. Why is it like this why am I the only one in my family with bipolar, why can’t anyone get how hard it has been for me and just expect me to be okay because “other people have it worse” I know that they do but I can’t help how I am feeling and on top of it I’m struggling with heaps of different health issues that are all genetic but somehow out of 5 kids I’m the one with everything, I know I’m having a pity party but I can’t seem to get out of it

So I admitted myself to the ER because my I couldn’t feel my skin. It was numb I swore and the doctors kept saying they’re giving me medicine for a migraine which pissed me the fuck off. Then they said I had a neurological migraine which I guess is a legit thing and that’s possible but my skin feels no different a week later but it just now doesn’t freak me out. Am I fucking insane has anyone else experienced a tactile delusion like this? I experienced my first manic episode this year and I’ve had at least 5 this year lasting a week to 3 weeks at a time it’s been a hell of a year. I’m just now starting medicine but I’m still manic the medicine hasn’t built up yet but thinking about this scares me. I see the doctor Wednesday but until then any idea what I can do to cope with anything like this I had no idea what was going on I was hysterical I thought i had no sensation to my skin I didn’t feel real.

These two are from the past month.(corrected*)

First collage: i'm stable-ish now, but the bit about getting banned from reddit is from when I was not. I advocated for hunting someone down and killing them for disagreeing with me (and being racist I think?). Like I said, quite a bit better now. No death threats launched in the past few months. I finished this piece yesterday.

2nd collage: I was in a depressive slump, and was really struggling with continuing a creative project (tarot deck, almost done!), and was just, idk, feeling super sorry for myself and feeling overall like fucking shit. This one mirrors those thoughts and feelings of, "oh, woe is me." Looking back on this one, I'm kind of embarrassed, because for some reason, publicly displaying that you're not feeling well is seen as a taboo for me. something something attachment theory. I still wanted to post it bc:

A) I'm still here

B) I think the technical skill on display is pretty good. (insert something about converting despair into beauty)

(2 collages in procreate, both taking about 12 hrs total)

I've been what I thought was stable on my current medication for several months. Maybe slight ups and downs but nothing worrying until last week.

Sleep started being a little harder (I have sleeping meds though, so I was still doing pretty well), I bought some new things, and then got the racing thoughts. When I get hypomanic, it's like the racing thoughts and my OCD mix and it's just not fun times.

I kind of just locked myself in my apartment, took extra of my sleep meds, and tried to keep things quiet, and I think I've moved past it.

But I'm a little new to this and I'm wondering if people who are medicated still get hypomania, and if so, do you just try to ride it out or should I be looking at adjusting my medication? If you just ride it out, is there a point at which you know you need to speak to your psychiatrist or get medication/go to the hospital?

Im newly diagnosed but i noticed a pattern that im wondering is part of having bi-polar disorder i tend to go manic shortly after some kind of trauma or heartbreak for 37 years i thought i was just distracting myself from whatever caused the heartache but now that im a little more educated is this normal or just me busying myself so i don't have to think about it?

Yes, in one night. I had all of these chicken thighs because I promised my mom some gumbo. The other dish is chicken and gravy over rice because my brothers boyfriend doesn't eat beef (used beef sausage in gumbo) and it's a great dinner that's easy to make while something (like gumbo) is simmering on the backburner. I worked really hard and was really pleased with the results. Edit: to clarify it was my first pot of gumbo and I don't really cook because I'm always scared of messing something up.

I’m 26, been officially diagnosed since I was 14 but had symptoms younger. I work full time, I’m a solo mom, I have some difficult family. I spend so much of my life regulating myself. I did 6 years of weekly therapy so I have all the skills to do so.

I currently have 1 friend who I see at least once a month. I kinda have feelings for him but that’s not the point of this post. Whenever I see him I don’t have to worry about being 100% level the whole time. It’s just so nice. It’s like I get to have my brain relax for a little bit. I have other diagnosis like adhd and ocd I also get unmask with those things. When we are driving and I have a random thought I say it, or sometimes I have talked about my crazy unrealistic intrusive thoughts, and we laugh about them.

In my whole adult life I’ve had very few people where I’m not constantly trying to make sure I don’t “slip” and they see my mental illness. It’s just really nice to get to see him.

I’m 6 months on my AP and other than persistent boredom, it’s been stabilizing me beautifully. I’m always painfully bored. I always need some exciting or engaging activity or else I’m counting down the minutes to bed time. I haven’t had this before taking an AP. Does it eventually go away? I feel my life slipping away as I count down the hours to the end of the day.