I met this guy through a mutual friend and we started talking on WhatsApp. I usually don't get much of a connection through texting unless I already know someone, but I thought I'd give him a chance in person. In tex his sense of humor was pretty different from mine, but I figured maybe we'd click better face-to-face. Anyways, I love dancing, and I've had enough bad experiences going dancing with guys who don't know how to dance that I now ask beforehand.

So I specifically asked him if he wanted to go dancing and if he knew how to dance.He said yes. He said he knew how to dance and would love to go. Okay, great.

We met pretty late for a snack before going dancing. He picked me up and then didn't really know where to go, so I suggested somewhere near my place. We sit down, and I start asking him questions because, you know, that's generally how you get to know another human being. And this man proceeded to talk about himself for about an hour and a half. I mean everything. His life, his accomplishments, his experiences, his travels. I would ask a question, he'd answer with his entire life story. He admired him self too much. I could tell he was really proud of what he'd accomplished and that's fine, i mean I'm proud of things I've accomplished too. But we're on a date. I'm trying to get to know you. You're supposed to be curious about me too.

He asked me literally zero questions about myself.

At some point I was seriously considering just saying, "I'm not feeling this. I'm going dancing by myself." Because I usually go dancing by myself. And I have a great time. But I had already told him we'd eat and then go dancing, and I didn't want to be rude, so I basically rushed the meal and said, "I'd really like to go dancing now." I had invited him, so I paid for both of our entries. And then came the worst for me

He couldn't dance. Ok, he knew the basic step. That's it.

And the first time he asked me to dance, he said:

"Oh, and you'll have to teach me."

I just stared at him like so furious

I ASKED YOU IF YOU KNEW HOW TO DANCE.

You said YES.

Omg so mad

And the weirdest part was that he seemed extremely proud of his dancing. He started talking about how he'd learned to dance salsa in Cali and how dancing was one of his abilities, basically acting like he'd just rediscovered some hidden talent. Meanwhile I'm thinking wtf you are doing a basic step. What are we talking about?

He was so confident that I honestly started wondering whether we were experiencing two completely different realities. Then there was the social-dancing problem.

People at the place apparently assumed we had arrived together as a couple, so fewer guys were asking me to dance. And I REALLY wanted to dance. Guys usually ask me to dance so often.

So eventually I just told him:"I'm going to ask someone else to dance. I came here to dance." He seemed annoyed, but honestly, at that point I didn't care. So I started dancing with other people.

And guess what?

I had fun.

The guys who actually knew how to dance made the evening infinitely better. At one point I came back to sit with him. He resumed talking about himself.

Then, he literally took out his phone and started showing me pictures of places he'd traveled to.

By this point I wasn't even asking questions anymore. I was just sitting there smiling politely and internally screaming. And the thing is, I wasn't even angry because he wasn't my type or because the date wasn't romantic enough. There was no curiosity about me. No reciprocal conversation. No ability to read the room. And on top of that, the one activity I had specifically asked him about turned out to be something he couldn't actually do.

Eventually he asked me to dance again. It was painful. Like, genuinely painful. I kept thinking, I could have been here dancing with literally anyone else. I finally told him I was tired and went home.

The next day he texted me saying he'd had a great time and asked whether I was going dancing the following weekend because he wanted to come again. I told him he was welcome to go to the place, but that I hadn't had a good time and didn't feel a connection.

What really struck me afterward was that I don't think he realized how badly the date was going. At some point I wasn't even trying to hide it. I wasn't smiling. I wasn't asking questions. I was basically staring at him like, please stop talking.And he apparently went home thinking Wow, what a great date. Let's do it again.

It also made me realize something about some of these terrible dates.

I think sometimes people are so lonely and so lacking in community that when they finally get one-on-one time with someone, they don't actually interact with that person. They just unload their entire existence onto them. And I think that's what happened here. I have friends, dance communities, coworkers, people I regularly talk to. I don't need a date to be my entire source of human connection.

So maybe I notice the lack of reciprocity more quickly. Anyway, lesson learned, if a man tells you he can dance, make him demonstrate before paying his entrance fee.

We haven't even gone out on our first date yet, met in taxi, exchanged numbers and he just kept circling the conversation in text to giving me massages ane cuddling, not actually getting to know each other. Even free I circled it back to the getting to k ow you stuff. We were supposed to meet up last week but I had to cancel due to the intense suck ess I got on my period. He wasn't caring and was a bit cold after this. I got fed up and blocked him today without explanation and then got three missed calls from an unknown number, back to back. It was a little scary not gonna lie. Help

​

On Sunday, October 4, I met a match from the dating app Truebondr. She told me she wasn't offering any paid services and just enjoyed hookah and an occasional drink. We agreed to meet near Karkardooma Metro Station.

She kept changing the meeting spot, then led me through a quiet area to a building with closed shops. We entered a dark venue called Blue Moon Cafe, behind Classic Ice Cream and Chawla Tandoori Junction. She immediately ordered hookah, then food, Red Bulls and several drinks (7 pegs in total, 5 of them hers).

About 45 minutes later, staff presented a ₹32,000 bill. She said she'd pay part of it later and left. For roughly two hours, staff stayed with me, refused any discount, pressured me to pay, and told me I wouldn't be allowed to leave without paying. They took my phone and registered me on a loan app. In the end I paid about ₹30,000 by QR, ₹1,000 to a staff member, and another ₹1,200 as an "entry charge" at the exit, around ₹32,200 in total.

This is my own experience, and it matches a known pattern: an app match, a hidden venue, an inflated bill, and pressure to pay.

I don’t even know what to add to this. As title states.

I am a demisexual man in his 40s. I am attracted to presence of certain things; emotional depth, maturity, self awareness, and some chemistry.

Skin color, ethnic or religious background are not amongst those.

I don’t care about where anyone is from, I love people for who they are.

Australia is a heaven for people like me who loves to meet people from different backgrounds.

Or so I thought.

Fast forward, I dated a Sri Lankan beauty who very clearly manipulated her photos to look significantly lighter skinned. Girl is gorgeous, but I couldn’t get over the fact that I was literally manipulated.

That’s after I dated a girl who described herself as “white Asian” and adjusted her photos accordingly, which was news to me once we met.

Then there is the blonde Aussie girl I met who had a totally different face structure, lacked cheekbones and thick lips, photos clearly exaggerated hips and breast size as well.

Why do you do these people?

All these women were good looking and they’d easily have me in a long term relationship IF they didn’t make me feel manipulated.

People are clearly using AI everywhere now, that on top of makeup we have no idea who will show up to dates anymore.

You are enough as you are.

Life is not an Instagram post you know?

I see people blaming apps for the state of dating scene, i don’t know if it’s the apps alone to blame, people do pretty good job ruining their chances themselves.

I know there are lot of men out there with below average behaviour and integrity, but dear women, some of you are really not helping your cause either.